Here's what Tuna wrote, so I don't have to repeat it:

"The Seduction (1982) is an early stalker movie. Morgan Fairchild is a prominent news anchor, and a photographer decides he loves her, and she must also love him. It starts with him spying on her with long telephoto lenses, then he becomes bold enough to contact her. At this point in history, there were no stalking laws, and the police could do nothing. Eventually, it is up to her to bring him down.

Morgan Fairchild shows everything, albeit briefly in several nude scenes.

IMDb readers say 4.2. There isn't much wrong with the story, although a few plot points are hard to swallow, but the acting was uniformly bad, even earning three Razzie nominations. In fact, some of the line delivery was so bad, I suspect the director was not even there for the filming. Morgan did look very good, and the premise was new in 1982, but now it is just another badly acted movie.  D+."

Everything he said there is fair, but I have probably watched this film ten times. I think I wore out a VHS video that I recorded off HBO.  Back in those days the pause button didn't really work that well, and a paused image would usually get some distortion.

What was all the fuss about? Morgan Fairchild naked.

She was at that time just about the biggest TV star in the world from her starring role on Flamingo Road, and she was a goddess, with a spectacular figure and an unearthly flawless face like a young Deneuve.  She had never been seen naked in public before this film. In fact, she had never even been in a film, naked or clothed, so this was the 1982 equivalent to Katie Holmes taking off her shirt in The Gift, except you have to imagine Katie having a much prettier face, being a much bigger star, never having been in any previous movies, and removing her panties briefly. That was hot.

The film itself was sort of a half-A, half-B hybrid.

On the "A" side of the ledger, it has some magnificent cinematography, and a score composed by an Oscar winner. In addition, the production values look rich, stalking was a hot button topic, and  Morgan Fairchild was in demand.  The producers were trying to put together a package like Body Heat -  eroticism in a slick package without too much explicit nudity.

Tuna summarized the film's failings. Lacking the scripting of Lawrence Kasdan and the acting chops of Hurt and Turner, it was no Body Heat. The acting can be dreadful, led by Dr. Ben Casey as a cop and Michael Sarrazin as Morgan Fairchild's boyfriend.  The Razzies singled out Fairchild and her character's gal-pal played by Colleen Camp, but those two seemed like Dench clones compared to Sarrazin and Edwards. How bad is a movie when Andrew Stevens has all the acting chops? And some of the film's logic is preposterous. When the evil stalker kills the boyfriend in the hot tub (in Fairchild's arms), he drags the man's body off to the hills to bury him, leaving Fairchild free to go inside and call the police, or even to get dressed and leave completely. She manages to do neither of those things, and I guess you might believe that she was in shock, but you can't believe that he could anticipate that. From his point of view, he murders a guy in front of his girlfriend, then wanders off for an hour or more to bury the guy with a little shovel, thus leaving the witness unattended. 

Except for the last ten minutes of the film, absolutely nothing happens. The plot is so paper-thin that the film had to be padded out to feature length by scenes of Ms. Fairchild swimming, bathing, preening, hot-tubbing, etc. The visceral impact of the only action (the boyfriend's murder) is immediately nullified by the confusing and seemingly interminable burial. One must admit that the last ten minutes, the actual face-to-face confrontation between stalker and stalkee, are actually quite entertaining in an over-the-top way. She manages to defeat him by coming on to him in a really trashy, aggressive way. Once he loses the power in the relationship, his hard-on deflates! Before the credits roll, there is Morgan Fairchild saying "fuck me," and there is Morgan blasting away at the guy with a high-powered rifle, blowing out windows and generally wreaking havoc in her house. That was all fun, but it just took too long to get there, with nothing for the viewer to do along the way but try to get a decent glimpse of Morgan Fairchild's flesh.

Which I certainly did plenty of in the early 80s, as bad as the film was.

Tuna nailed the collages last week, so I just hit the highlights and made a zipped .wmv of the three major nude scenes.

Morgan Fairchild



  • End of Days was one of The Governator's later films, and not one of his best. The nudity comes from Robin Tunney and various obscure actresses. (Four avis zipped together.)

  • Look@Me is a thriller about a webcam check who meets an overly enthusiastic fan. I haven't seen the movie, but Elina Madison looks good. (zipped .avi)





Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.





Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.





Vice Academy VI (1998)

This is the sixth and final (so far) Vice Academy film.

Just when Candy and Traci are depositing the money from Miss Devonshire's lottery ticket in the bank, three bimbos hold it up. Candy (Kaitan) and Traci try to stop them, but end up shooting the security guard and the surveillance camera. The male teller is also a friend of Candy's. An internal affairs investigator decides Candy was in on the robbery, and she is sent to prison where she breaks out and solves the case. Among the victims of the robbery are a nun and a hooker with a heart of gold. Also, in case you are wondering, Miss Devonshire still hasn't gotten any.

Even writer/director/producer/editor Rick Sloane feels they went to the well one too many times with this one. Sloane felt the script was the best of the six on paper, but did not translate to screen. Part of the reason was what he calls the worst casting decision of his career. Since his villain in this one is a stripper, he cast a stripper, and had no idea until they started shooting that she was incapable of learning more than one line of dialogue at a time. In fact, he didn't even credit her.

IMDb readers say 1.8. Who am I to argue? This is by far the worst of the six, and a D.

Sloane says he has a script outline if anyone wants to finance Part 7.



Elizabeth Kaitan











Been out of the loop for a long time.  Thought I should make amends with a big-ass New Year's post.

Today's portion features the gals from a strip and wiggle DVD from Peach, called The Luckiest Bachelor on Earth (2004).  No real plot, some annoying attempts at humor, something vaguely resembling a game and lots of seriously naked babes.  You can't surf the web looking for T & A without running into these women. The star and eventual winner of the contest (which one will The Bachelor choose?) is former Penthouse Pet Jamie Lynn.  Not an inch of her is left covered. Best photographed of the women is Jelena Jensen.  Not a bad disk if strip and wiggle is your sort of thing.

Autumn Austin
Candace Cardinelle
Isabella Camille
Jamie Lynn
Jelena Jensen

... more tomorrow ...








I saw 5ive Girls the other day and thought it would be a good opportunity to end the year with a filmography of Jennifer Miller, so I've sent you caps from both 5ive Girls and Lucky Number Slevin:


 5ive Girls

Jennifer Miller
Amy Lalonde

Barbara Mamabolo
Jordan Madley


Tasha May
Terra Vnesa
Madley and Miller



Lucky Number Slevin


Jennifer Miller

Lucy Liu






I have a date for New Year's Eve and here she is waiting on her balcony stark naked with a drink in her hand.

Just Kidding. It's Teri Hatcher in "Heaven's Prisoners". I can dream can't I?

Everyone have a good New Years Eve and if you are going out use a designated driver so we see you all here on New Years Day.


Drei Tage Angst

Linda Kohler (Esther Schweins), an extremely successful stock advisor, suffers from agoraphobia, so she works from home. One day three convicts break into her house: Telly, a professional criminal; Theo, a psychopath; and the young Nile, Linda's former colleague. They have a plan to use Linda to get a large amount of money, but when Nile starts falling for Linda, things don't go as planned.


Esther Schweins


Game Over

This is a short movie about a couple planning a trip to straighten out their relationship, but when they are playing the "plumber and lonely wife" game, there is a call for her from "the carpenter." Next day, when they get on the road, things don't go as they had hoped.

Newcomer Eva Palleres plays the girl. She is starting to make more and more movies lately.

Eva Palleres






Notes and collages

The Supernatural Ladies

Ione Skye in Four Rooms


Sammi Davis in Four Rooms

Madonna in Four Rooms

Alicia Witt in Four Rooms
...I like this quirky film; I especially like this episode of a four part film....good-looking witches wearing very little clothing... 










Pegah Ferydoni in Peer Gynt.

Hey, I never heard of her either, but how often do you get to see an Iranian chick naked?