The annual nude scene poll is closed. The winner and
the second place finisher won their respective positions by a mile.
Pictorial and numerical results will be posted on New Year's Day, as
The Intended (2002)
This is a steamy "Brits in the jungle in the
late stages of the empire" movie. It plays out a lot like Tennessee
Williams' The Night of the Iguana. I am here to warn you - do NOT buy
the region 1 DVD. This is a steamy, sexy movie, but the Region 1 DVD is
a version which has cut all the female nudity (while leaving in male
nudity!). And that was one heaping helping of important nudity! Janet McTeer did
two fairly graphic sex scenes and whipped out her chest, which may be
the largest unenhanced chest of any legitimate actress in the world.
She is certainly in the same league with Mimi Rogers. The
bowdlerization of this film is particularly disturbing since McTeer
has done only modest nudity elsewhere in her career, and she really
let it go here: first standing up facing the camera in good light;
then on her back for a sex scene; then naked again for a woman-on-top
Not only is the region 1 DVD censored, but it
is a woeful pan-n-scan transfer in which the people who did the
panning and scanning made only a perfunctory effort. There are some
frames where the faces are cut off, and virtually every frame is
composed poorly. It looks so boxed-up that the entire film is probably
dangerous for claustrophobics.
I wish The Criterion Collection would get the
rights to this and issue it in an uncensored widescreen edition.
OZ did some solid captures from the uncensored
version of this film. I think you'll see why I wanted to see it!
Here are OZ's collages:
Shooting Gallery (2005)
It's the Paul Newman mix-and-match movie. Take the billiards action
from The Hustler and mix it with the con artistry from The Sting, and
you have Shooting Gallery. Don't be put off by the fact that it went
straight to video or that it stars Freddie Prinze Jr. in the Fast
Eddie role. Shooting Gallery is actually well done
for a movie with a limited budget
... but I have to warn you about a few
of its eccentricities:
- Although the final solution to the puzzle is clear enough, you
will be confused more than once by the identity of the characters
and whose side they are really on. It seems that everybody is
running a con on everybody else, and yet also hedging their bets by
running a second partnership with the "mark." Even when the film is
finished and the long con is completely explained, you may not
understand how all the minor characters fit in.
- Just about every character is eccentric and speaks in some kind
of patois which is further complicated by various quirky verbal
mannerisms and accents. There are times when it's hard to understand
what the characters are saying, and that can be irritating in a
complicated sting movie. Sometimes it seems that the actors are
having a contest to see who can act and sound the strangest. You may
feel that you have been stranded inside a Benicio del Toro
- The photography is quite stylized. It takes place in a sleazy
section of Nawlins, and the photographic style accentuates the
gritty look of the neighborhood. It's dark, it's so deeply
contrasted as to look posterized in some sections, and it uses a lot
of rock video editing tricks.
- A very substantial portion of the running
time is devoted to actual games of 9-ball, so your enjoyment of the
movie will be directly correlated to your interest in that game. If
you're into that sort of thing, there are some great
games with some great shots, and they are actually made by the actors on camera.
Heaven knows how many takes some of those shots required, but a lot
of it is explained in the various featurettes!
That tells you what kind of movie it is, but
still may not indicate how you will react to it.
It is not a type of movie I particularly
enjoy. If I were to read what I just wrote, I would be strongly
tempted to take a pass. I don't think of pocket billiards as a
spectator sport, and I don't even like to play it that much. I've
never been a fan of Prinze. I really get annoyed by movies which try
too hard to be eccentric, and I have very little patience with
complicated puzzle movies which don't sweat the details of the puzzle.
Still, although this film has many elements which normally vex me, I
found it reasonably engaging. After a while, I just stopped worrying
about the details of the counter-stings, and just enjoyed the
atmosphere and some of the crazy characterizations. And Prinze did
fine, by the way, as the straight man.
Sanchez. No nudity, but she is smokin'. She's the chick who did the
banana-eating trick in Boat Trip, kind of a sexed-up Latina version of
Sandra Bullock. She needs to stop doing teases and get her freak on.
Stormy Shuff. (Huh?) This is Stormy's one and only screen appearance.
IMDb credits her as "naked blond" (which makes sense), but the end
credits call her "naked brunette." Whatever. There is no naked
brunette in the movie, so I guess this is Stormy, since Stormy is a
blond - as shown
Angels in America (2005)
I watched this for a second time because ... well ... long story.
Here's the short version. After I watched Good Night and Good Luck, I
re-read some transcripts of the McCarthy committee hearings, I read a
biography of Joe McCarthy, and then I watched Citizen Cohn. It was the
latter that led me back to Angels in America because both of those
productions feature the same conceit: Roy Cohn, on his deathbed,
talking unrepentantly to Ethel Rosenberg.
Cohn was Sen. McCarthy's lead counsel while still in his mid
twenties, and later became one of America's biggest back-door
dealmakers. He was presumed to be gay, and died of AIDS-related
complications, but never admitted his sexual preference, remaining in
public denial even on his deathbed. (He once dated Barbara Walters,
who insisted he was straight.) The Cohn role was played in each
production by a great actor, James Woods and Al Pacino, so I thought
I'd compare their interpretations. Pacino brought more vulnerability
and a more down-to-earth quality to Cohn, who was well known as the
world's biggest asshole. Pacino, abetted by a nuanced script, managed
to create at least a tiny bit of humanity in the character, and
generated a spark of empathy, although sympathy was out of the
question. Woods just played Cohn as a totally aloof,
smarter-than-thou, dishonest, and self-absorbed scumbag who thought,
even at the very end, that his caregivers were trying to poison him.
Despite those differences, there was no denying that they were playing
the same loathsome, ungrateful man in the same situations. My
first-hand knowledge of the real Cohn is entirely based on the 1950s
because I just don't remember what he was like in the 70s and 80s. I
can't recall having seen him as a middle-aged man on talk shows or
anything like that. Based on my impressions of Cohn in those
Army-McCarthy hearings, Woods captured him better, but Woods got to
play Cohn in that very era, as well as in the rest of his life, while
Pacino never got to play him as a young man, so I couldn't relate
Pacino's performance to any anchored reality.
Anyway, the key point
is the full frontal and rear nudity from Mary-Louise Parker. (The Emma
Thompson nudity is not Emma at all, except for the head. It is a
combination of body double and CGI.)
The Path of Evil (2005)
I couldn't get through this movie. One thing that
absolutely turns me off is when the actors are so bad that one can't
just watch the movie and get absorbed in it. The ludicrous line
readings always make me aware that I'm just sitting and watching an
artifice. This particular film has some of the worst performances ever
captured on tape. Even the guy in the lead role delivers his lines
like a fourth grader reading aloud from My Weekly Reader.
The nudity was pretty good, however. Fairly good-looking woman with a
good body. The only real minus was the dim lighting.
This is the Citizen Kane of Canadian Lesbian Boxing
Films. Review here. This
is a nice bit of nudity from a pretty young woman, although it gets a
few creepy points for the fact that it includes a spread-shot and was
filmed by her dad. And maybe a few morew creepy points because her dad
also wrote the script. And a real lot of creepy points for the fact
that the script is about a father and daughter who have an
inappropriate pseudo-sexual relationship.
Anyway, here's the zipped .avi (no sound, but nice
Wedding Crashers (2005)
These comments are from Brainscan, and refer to the
captures from yesterday's page:
"In your caps of Wedding
Crashers...the unknown babes.
One of them, in collages 308 and
309, is Rachel Sterling aka Angel Veil. She's in the credits.
Another in 300 and 307 looks
like Tera Patrick. No sign of her in the credits, though.
And 301-303 looks like Ivana
Bozolovic...again in the credits. "
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Harem Suare (1999) is credited to Turkey at IMDb, but is actually a Turkish/French/Italian co-production, and is in French. It is a disjointed story about the last night in a Harem just before the fall of the Ottoman empire. It is related by an old woman leaving the harem to a young woman just entering the harem, and is the story told by an old woman to the harem to pass what is likely their last night before the palace falls. It is the story, of course, about the woman relating the tale to the new harem girl.
Let's pause here momentarily, and think about this one. We start with a young woman about to enter a harem. The old woman she talks to was the subject of the story told before the last harem was disbanded, and includes what happens after the harem is disbanded. This is the worst of the inconsistencies in the plot line. The film, in French with English subtitles and shot in Turkey is beautifully photographed, and the harem sets are wonderful. The story traces the rise of our heroin to favorite of the sultan, giving birth to his child, falling in love with a eunuch, and her fall from power after her baby is poisoned. Marie Gillain, as the girl, does full frontal and rear nudity. Several other women show various body parts in bath scenes, and one unknown shows breasts being prepared for the sultan.
The tale is full of intrigue, and purports to show life inside a harem. I have no way to know if any of this is accurate. IMDb readers have this at 5.7. While the story is disjointed, it is great eye candy, and is somewhat engaging. This is a C-. The plot so not strong, but it is lavishly produced, and has a somewhat unusual theme and setting.
Kind of a grab Bag for New Years Eve. No Time Machine today as I couldn't find a designated driver. So we stay with current stuff.
From "Shapeshifter"...Natalia Bellami plays a topless hooker in some hotel room hi-jinks. Watch out for the last one (bloody boobs).
Next up we have three ladies from "Witches of the Caribbean" a bad movie (with no nudity).
Nicole Cacazos has a "Babe in Bondage" scene.
Nicole Marie Monica has a "bikini on the beach" scene.
Catherine Mundine is the second "Babe in Bondage" in flashback scenes.
Everyone party safely tonight!
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Where's Marlowe?" (1998)
"Where's Marlowe?" is a detective mock-documentary which started out as a tv pilot which never got sold so they added some scenes to make it into a feature. Elizabeth Schofield is sexy in a bikini top while Julia Kruis shows breasts in an added sex scene picked up on a surveillance camera.
"The Last Season" (1987)
Zero budget action which stars Louise Dorsey, who is the only daughter of world famous singer Engelbert Humperdinck. Louise Dorsey flashes a breast during a rape scene, shows pokies while bra-less in a white t-shirt for much of the film, and shows a partial boob in a dark love scene.
Kari Byron of the build team is in a tight t-shirt for one segment and shows a lot of cleavage in another.
From the pilot....Gina Holden is sexy as the "new girl at milk". She returned for season two in a topless lesbian sex scene.
"Naughty Cheerleaders" (1985)
A hardcore, XXX classic starring Ron Jeremy who reveals to Ali Moore and Lee Brown the secret sauce of his sundae.