Carnivale (2004), the HBO series, season one, is available on DVD. I knew nothing about this series when it arrived, and I am totally hooked. I will set up the plot tonight, and give the nudity from the first three episodes. Subsequent evenings will be spoilers. If the plot set-up appeals to you and you haven't seen this, you might want to avoid reading my comments after tonight.
Depression dustbowl. A young man is burying his mother when they come to repossess his farm and bulldoze his house. A traveling carny stops to help, and the young man leaves with them. We get to know many of the carny characters, including the midget manager, Siamese twins, a bearded lady, a Tarot reader, an ex baseball player who is in charge of the roustabouts, hoochie coochie dancers, etc. For some reason, they are anxious for the young man to work for the carny full time. Meanwhile, in a separate plot line, a Methodist minister is told by God to take over a brothel, and minister to the Okies. certainly, these two plot lines will converge, but how and why is still not clear, and I have watched half of the first season already.
The series is beautifully photographed, the acting top notch, the characters interesting, and the attention to period detail amazing. Tonight, we have Adrienne Barbeau showing the side of her left breast in episode two, Any Madigan as the preacher's sister also showing breasts in episode two, Cynthia Ettinger in a skimp outfit as a hoochie coochie dancer, and mother to the other two dancers, and breasts from Carla Gallo as a hoochie coochie dancer.
So far, this is a treat for the eyes, contains an interesting mix of magic realism and realistic depression period drama, and has drawn me in to the plot.
Tomorrow, the second three episodes, and episode summaries.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Harold and Kumar go to
White Castle (2004):
I have written about this before.
Production costs were a modest $9
million, but the studio threw $20 million into a substantial
marketing campaign for this film. This generated enough hype
Box Office Mojo predicted a $13 million opening weekend, which implied that it would do $40-50
It fell far short of expectations, taking
in only $5 million on 2100 screens in its first weekend,
finishing with a domestic gross of only $18 million.
Malin Ackerman (1,
Doogie's strippers (1,
4). I listened to all three commentary tracks, and
nobody identified these girls
Wake of Death (2004):
The usual revenge picture. Jean-Claude's wife is a beautiful,
sensitive social worker who takes in a 14 year old female refugee
from Hong Kong. It turns out that the girl is the daughter of the
number one Mr. Big of the Asian heroin syndicate, and he wants her
back. His concept of winning her back is to blast away everyone
around her, and he makes the rather unwise decision to blast away
Van Damme's wife. JCVD then turns into a combination of Charles
Bronson and Kyser Sose, and single-handledly kills more Asian guys
than that tsunami.
This freakin' movie doesn't even make sense in some spots. JC takes
the little girl with him to her dad's freighter for the final
confrontation. When he gets out of his car, he also makes the girl
get out. He then leaves her standing there on the freight docks in
the middle of the night, and says "If I'm not back in 20 minutes,
call the police." OK let's analyze that. She's a 14 year old
girl from China who has been in America for a day and a half. How,
exactly, will she call the police?
Why did JC make her get our of the car to do that?
She's stuck on the docks, on foot, in the middle of the night
She doesn't have a cell phone.
She doesn't have any money for a pay phone.
There are no pay phones anywhere in site.
If she had a cell phone, how would she know which number to dial?
If she could figure out how to contact the police, how would she
give them directions to her location?
In the unlikely event she could find the police and figure out where
she was, what could she tell them to get anybody there quickly? "Oh,
some Belgian guy told me to call you if he wasn't back in 20
Why the hell wait 20 minutes? Why doesn't he personally just call
the police now, by himself?
Why didn't he just leave the girl in an all-night Denny's with a few
bucks and some comic books, where she would have been safe and warm?
Despite the fact that JC's back-up depends on a 14 year old foreign
girl to navigate the intricacies of American bureaucracy, everything
turns out right. Just as he's in the last battle, about fifteen
police vehicles come in, lights flashing and sirens howling, and a
few zillion S.W.A.T guys come pouring onto the bad guy's boat.
That was only the last of many such bizarre episodes. At one point
the baddies kidnap the girl and JC's own son. So what does our high-kickin'
hero do? He follows them in a high-speed car chase through the
streets and interstates, bumping his car into theirs at 100 MPH and
exchanging gunfire with them - with both cars traveling at top speed
and the kids in the other car.
I'll admit it would have been cool if he had blown away his own son
in the process, or maybe if he had forced the baddies into a fiery
crash which killed both kids. Unfortunately, this is not some kind
of existentialist film about measuring the consequences of one's
actions, but just a sloppy action film.
And while I'm ranting, what is the deal with screen candles. How can
it be that whenever movie lovers take a bath or make love, they are
surrounded by candles? JCVD comes home after a hard day of whatever
the hell he does, and his wife brings home the little girl from her
day of social working. They tuck in the youngster and retire to
their boudoir for hot monkey love, surrounded by hundreds of
candles. More candles than you'll see on Easter Day in St. Patrick's
Cathedral. Who the hell lit those things? And who put them all out
so they could get some sleep after making an appropriate amount of
cinematic whoopie? Do rich people and film characters employ
off-duty altar boys for candle duty? I'll bet they have one of those
long-handled candle snuffers that you see in Catholic services. You
know, the kind the altar boys use for the candles way above their
reach. If I had one of those, I could snuff all my many romantic
candles without getting out of bed. I gotta get me one of those!
Right after I buy the candles.
Amazingly enough, this film, although lacking in original ideas and
common sense, does have some big production values. There are plenty
of crashes and massive explosions. There is a good car chase
that has some inventive touches (despite the illogic I mentioned
above), and a spectacular motorcycle chase through a suburban
shopping mall. The rumor is that this film had a production budget
of $20 million. That might be, because it has a pretty big "look" to
it, but I really want to know the names of any guys willing to
invest twenty million dollars on a script like this with Van Damme
I have some nice Florida property those guys might like. And some
scripts that would be perfect for Steven Seagal and David Hasselhoff.
Needless to say, the investors got no theatrical release for their
twenty million dollar investment, and I don't think they should
count on a lot of DVD sales, given the fact that nobody ever heard
of this film.
The film includes a bizarrely inventive and graphically bloody
torture scene in which two mafiosi extract a confession from a dirty
cop by power drilling into some very sensitive areas of his body.
When they find out what they need to know, they finish him off by
drilling through his eye into his brain. Good family fun!
I don't think IMDb has the right info for Lisa King. She plays Van
Damme's wife. The filmography lists this as her only film. Given
that she is 35ish, very attractive, and a completely solid actress,
I can't believe she has no previous experience of any kind.
Something doesn't add up.
The crooked cop being tortured is played by an actor named Danny
Keogh. IMDb says he is the drummer who was once married to Lisa
Marie Presley, and was therefore Elvis's son-in-law for a while. I
don't think so. For one thing, that Elvis guy is Danny Keough with a
"u." For another thing, that guy was a nice looking guy, and
this Danny is not a handsome man, to say the least. Let's just say
in a world of people who look like Danny on average, Timothy Spall
would be People's Sexiest Man of the Year.
The guy in the film might be this Danny Keogh
The guy pictured there is an African actor of Irish descent, and
that might be the guy in this movie. I can't tell for sure because
the picture sucks. But whoever the actor really is, I don't think
the battered, wrinkled cop in Wake of Death could be the former rock
star who is also the father of model Riley Keough.
The Homosexual Handshake Exposed!
Are there any men more desperate than frog rustlers?
How do you prove the missing frogs are yours? It's hard to brand
those little guys. (Actually the missing frog was on a totem
The legendary bandleader Artie Shaw dies. Talk about
the last of the Mohicans. I had no idea any of those Big Band guys
were still alive. He must have set some kind of record by having
lived in retirement for fifty years!! His wives included Lana
Turner and Ava Gardner.
The patent office - mathematical formula to determine and filter
pornographic images. At last, some use for your high
school math! I wonder if you can use it to identify and download
porn instead of to prevent downloading it.
Bosses become Big Brother with technology.
Drugs replace porn in spam central's nucleus
A series of unfortunate payrolls. Looking at the
Yankees of the future. How long until they get Santana?
Anna Nicole Smith loses $88.5 million ruling on appeal.
Did animals' 'sixth sense' save them from tsunami?
You lost your penis? You think penises grow on trees? ... Oh.
The world's greatest card stacker
"Don't do that. Do you think penises grow on trees?" " ... Well
... yeah ..."
The trailer for next summer's big blockbuster, Head-On:
- "A marriage of convenience in Hamburg between two troubled
Turks changes both their lives in this fine, gritty,
contemporary German love story. Director Fatih Akin dives deep
into Turkish culture and explores the slippery slope of identity
and cultural pride faced by Turks who either move to or are born
in Germany. Winner of the Golden Bear at the Berlin
International Film Festival."
The trailer for The Ballad of Jack and Rose .
- Well, it stars Daniel Day-Lewis, so you can bet it will be
some light hearted fun! Probably a stoner comedy.
- Yup, I was right. Here's the official description: "The
intense relationship between a dying man (Daniel Day Lewis) and
his teenage daughter is tested when a woman (Catherine Keener)
and her two sons move into their home." Good times! Only one
thing. Kevin Kline must have signed a contract waiver, because
he has the right of first refusal on all bravely dying guys
and/or nobly suffering gay guys.
- Curiosity: the cast also includes the master thespian, Jason
Lee himself. How does he fit in with the intense
2004 at the Box Office: Fantasy, superheroes and Jesus.
Ashlee Simpson says she can burp the alphabet.
- Astoundingly, she is only the number two alphabet-burper in
her family. "Jessica burps the alphabet better than me. She has
better wind and she is a much louder belcher."
PARIS HILTON VOWS TO BE MORE ANNOYING IN 2005. Takes
Aim at Britney's "Most Annoying" Crown.
Snow has fallen over the United Arab Emirates for the first time
The world's only Virgin Mary toasted sandwich maker.
"It's a breakfast miracle - every day! Holy Mary, Mother of Toast
for the whole family! Why buy Virgin Mary toasted sandwiches at
$28,000 a pop, when you can buy this and have a guaranteed
apparition on every grilled cheese sandwich. This is a real
working item. The sandwiches are real, they were made tonight in
my kitchen. The photos have not been enhanced."
Sharon Osbourne is selling her LA mansion - because Simon Cowell
is moving in next door.
New Year's Superstitions
USA Today: Pop culture lessons learned in 2004.
Paris and Nicole talk about The Simple Life 3.
- Paris Hilton joins Ken Jennings on the list of those with
well more than 15 minutes of fame. I'm starting to form a theory
that the length of fame in the 21st century is related to IQ.
Your minutes of fame may be calculated by taking one third of
the difference between your IQ and 100. Thus, you are entitled
to more than 15 minutes if your IQ is above 145 or below 55.
This is tentatively called the theory of Lisa and Jessica
Simpson. The bad news for us: Anna Nicole Smith still has a LOT
more minutes left.
"... during the Middle Ages, historian Daniel Boorstin notes, maps
often had east on top--whence the expression 'to orient.'"
Is It Rolling Bob? - A Reggae Tribute To Bob Dylan
Top 10 New Year's Sex Resolutions
For bachelorette, wedding parties or showers: The Provocative
Will there be a Dodgeball 2?
Weekly World News: "FOR PEOPLE ON THE GO...MAN HAS TOILET IN HIS
CAR" What's more, the man lives in Stinkmore, Indiana!
M81 and M82 - a fascinating pair of galaxies
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hi Scoopy !
Not many words today, just a few clips.
A classic nude scene in the German "Tatort" crime series is Ute
Christensen's scene in the 1983 episode "Peggy hat Angst" (Peggy is
afraid; and quite rightfully so as she ends up murdered).
In "Super" (1984) Turkish-German actress Renan Demirkan (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) lands on top of her lover.
"Zwei himmlische Toechter" (1978-TV)
German 1970's sexpot Ingrid Steeger (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
asks herself why she somehow always ends up naked in the 1978 mini
series "Zwei himmlische Töchter". Her colleague Iris Berben keeps
everything under wraps this time.
"Joyeuses Paques" (1984)
To sum up my last contribution of 2004 let's take a look at
French actress Marie Laforęt (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) who shows
breasts and buns at age 45 in "Joyeuses Pâques" (1984; aka. Happy
Easter). Don't worry, she is in excellent shape.
That's it for this year, hopefully I'll see you all back next
year with more material.
|A quick site note
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost...scenes from the 1980, Horror/Comedy "Motel Hell". If memory serves, I first saw this gem on the excellent (and very much missed) Joe Bob Briggs show "Monstervision" on TNT, and it is campy, sleazy late 70's/early 80's, drive-in cinema at it's finest! After all, how can you dislike a movie with a dualing chainsaw fight scene and bad guys that talk about "teaching the ancient art of meat smoking"!
I think Ebert summed it up best in his review when he wrote:
"Motel Hell is a welcome change-of-pace; it's to Chainsaw Massacre as Airplane! is to Airport."
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Deep Evil" (2004)
Alien clone and Lorenzo Lamas vehicle. DVD is only available in Europe.
First Wave: episode The Purge
The raciest episode where they demonstrate a number of husks
(some sort of alien hooker) having sex. I couldn't sort
which actress played which husk. They
are Basia Antos (collages 1 and 2?), Carla Boudreau and
Samantha Sewell. The first collage is from
a behind-the-scenes documentary which showed
the nudity from better angles.
- Husks: various nudity.
Da Vinci's Inquest: Little Sister part 2 & 3
The other two parts of the pilot.
Sarah-Jane Redmond who plays a hooker in these episodes
returns in season two as a police sergeant and Da Vinci's boss.
Cold Squad: season four
More hookers and strippers.
||Here is Judd doing the famous 'Marilyn on red velvet' scene from the made for cable biopic, "Norma Jean & Marilyn" (1996).
|'Caps of the absolutely beautiful actress baring all and gettin' it on (both straight and lesbo lovin') while playing a famouss porn star in scenes from the made for cable movie "This Girl's Life" (2003).
|Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter showing pokies, going topless and even showing a hint of pubes in scenes from a low-budget Burt Reynolds movie nobody has ever heard of called "Snapshots" (2002).
|Señor Skin 'caps of Schade topless and cluelessly playing with her breasts in the hot tub scene from one of my favorite movies of 2004, "EuroTrip". In this year's Best Nude Scene poll, I gave this scene serious consideration for my vote. Granted, Schade doesn't have a big part and this is her only IMDb credit, but as far as nude scenes go...it was wonderfully gratuitous, and that's a good thing.