The annual nude scene poll is closed. The winner and the second place finisher won their respective positions by a mile. Pictorial and numerical results will be posted on New Year's Day, as usual.

Broken Flowers (2005)

Bill Murray plays a profoundly depressed ex-lothario named Don Jonston. That name would be the English-language version of Don Juan, get it? If you don't, the script will help you out with a scene in which the character actually watches an old Don Juan movie on TV. Ol' Don Juan receives a anonymous pink letter informing him that he has a 19-year-old son who may be looking for him. Prodded by a neighbor who loves detective stories, Don decides to embark on a cross-country search for his girlfriends from that era, hoping to ... well, really hoping to learn something about himself, I guess. If he just wanted to know more about whether one of them could have written the letter, he could have accomplished the same thing telephonically, so I guess we can assume he wants to meet them face-to-face for other reasons unrelated to the son's identity.

It is an arthouse film which was nominated for arthousey awards, and won a special jury prize at Cannes. It's one of those films where the author derives some alleged humor by standing condescendingly above all the characters, giving them ridiculous ideas and outlandish professions. (His four ex-girlfriends are a pet psychiatrist, a professional closet organizer, a refined and demure seller of "high quality pre-fab homes," and a biker chick.) I believe the point is that your life is shallow and empty unless you are a judgmental middle-aged filmmaker. Bill Murray turns in yet another of those sad sack performances in which he plays a man with no enthusiasm for anything, no spring in his step, and no facial expressions beyond a single mask of despondent boredom. Within the spectrum of recent film performances, this is most comparable to Wilson the Volleyball.

It's the kind of movie that people either love or hate. If you'd like to read more about the film, there are many links at The Movie House.  To me the most incisive comment was the following:

We are reminded in every possible way that this man is a "Don Juan" and yet nothing in the story or character development suggests how someone so broken, so numb, so completely uninterested in life or people, could be that sort of man. We have no idea how or why he has become so broken, and so ultimately don't much care that he is. No light is shed on this at any point - the movie is just one long dip into a stagnant pool of listless nothingness.

I can only imagine that the transitions between scenes of simply fading to black again and again and again, and the endless travel footage (Don in plane, Don in car, Don reading map, Don sleeping in hotel) were one of three things: lack of imagination, self-indulgence or laziness. I can think of no other reasons as this just adds to the stultifying feel of the movie. The parallel between the film's pace and Don's life seems like an amateurish parlor trick to fool the audience into thinking that the mundane is meaningful - not in this movie! Here, the mundane is just plain old boring. All the symbolism is lurid in its obviousness (ex: Don watching the old/original "Don Juan" movie on TV as his life unravels) while the character/story development is so subtle as to be non-existent.

 If you have already seen the movie, I have written extensively about the "solution" to the mystery.



Alexis Dziena



Wedding Crashers (2005)

I have written extensively about Wedding Crashers before. See the details at The Movie House

Jane Seymour
Isla Fisher's body double
Wedding Montage chicks



Other Crap:

Victoria Silvstedt falls out of her dress on a TV show, and the host fixes things

USATODAY offers the highlights and low points of the year in film

The Smoking Gun: Top 15 Mug Shots of 2005

VIDEO: Tom Green follows around a pizza guy, trying to undercut his price. His potential clients are not amused.

VIDEO: This is some scary stuff: two window washers on a runaway platform being buffetted by winds.

A man lets his toolbox drive.

  • Actually, all men do this - but not with their cars

From The Institute of Completely Obvious Research:
Researchers determine what men and women want on the Web

  • Women: health tips and religious guidance
  • Men: sports results and porn
  • I didn't make up any of that. Word!

Coming Soon's Most Anticipated Films of 2006

Austria in a "fuhrer" over sex posters with Bush, Chirac, Queen E 2

From Jay Leno, this video captures a prank at Universal Studios that shows how far people are willing to go to get a free picture out of a photo booth.

VIDEO: Silly Putty Physics Experiment

  • Google Engineer makes a bulk order for 250 pounds of Silly Putty. Turns out that was a legally binding contract to marry Star Jones

Conan O'Brien's latest quotables

  • "Twenty percent of Americans say that they put together their Christmas wish list by researching on the Internet. Which explains why the number one item on most wish lists this year was a hot Asian teen."
  • "According to a holiday survey, this year over half of all Americans will 're-gift' an item they received from someone else. For instance, this year Paris Hilton gave out herpes."

The Weekend Warrior's Terrible 20 - WORST movies of 2005

  • It's an eclectic selection, to be sure, including renowned bombs like a Ewe Boll movie and alleged masterpieces like Woody Allen's Match Point and Terrence Malick's The New World.

Kelly Brook and Billy Zane promise a Big Fat Greek Wedding and plenty of silly hats!

"A new Firefox extension has been debuted that incorporates peer-to-peer capabilities into the browser"



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Sex and a Girl (2001)

The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful (2005) is a Fred Olin Ray, Retro Media Entertainment soft core that IMDb is not yet aware of. Nicole Sheridan is a cocktail waitress who takes a customer home for the evening. She was evidently too much for him, as he not only falls asleep after sex, but does so permanently. His will gives all of his estate to "whomever is closest to him at the time of death." So Sheridan inherits a lost silver mine, and a casino. Excited about the casino, she and her best friend, Beverly Lynne go to what ends up being a ghost town. The villain wants Sheridan's map to the lost silver mine, rumored to be where outlaw and now ghost Calamity Kate (Belinda Gavin) stashed all of her loot. With the help of two idiot ranch hands, he tries to harass and badger the girls to give him the map and leave, but Calamity Kate comes to their rescue.

This is a typical Fred Olin Ray low budget sex farce, and is no better nor worse than most of his work. C.

Belinda Gavin shows breasts in a scene with the two girls, and Brooke Taylor and Jassie also show breasts in a girl.girl at the villain's house. Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan both do full frontal and rear nudity in several scenes.


Belinda Gavin
Beverly Lynne
Nicole Sheridan
Brooke Taylor and Jassie







Sandy Wasco in "Hotel Erotica"


Today the old Time Machine goes all the way back to 1972 for a "Babes in Bondage" bonanza with "The Abductors".

Gerie Bronson gets us started. She is  tied up at first in just her panties, and then stark naked. (She is raped by one of the baddies.)

Of course Cheri Caffaro is here, tied topless to a pole.

Laurie Rose AKA Jennifer Brooks has her lovely body groped, fondled and made love to as she spends almost the whole movie tied up.

You have to love the seventies.




La confusion des genres (2000), aka. Confusion of Genders, allows us a good look at two prolific French actresses. Nathalie Richard (1, 2, 3) delivers a thorough triple B performance while Julie Gayet sticks to a quick full frontal "only" in and getting out of the bath tub.
Then we cross over to the German film Männerpension (1996) for a bit of teutonic exposure. Jenny Elvers, whose career never really took off, flashes her pubes at the inmates of a prison. Marie Bäumer, a successful actress in Germany who never hid her talents, keeps everything under wraps in the prison scene, but shows breasts and buns during a roll in the hay in a barn.
Needless to say that all actresses presented in these clips and Jenny Elvers have their own entry in the Encyclopedia.



Dann reports on The Last Day:

This 2004 French drama has an interesting storyline and a very nice and unexpected twist at the end.

A young man is heading home from Paris on the train when a young woman attaches herself to him. He brings the girl home with him and the parents assume they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

They sleep in the same bed, but don't have sex. As time passes, he introduces the girl to a close friend. The girl is drawn to the friend and eventually they have sex, while she continues to sleep with the young man, who by now is feeling used.

Jealousy now starts to rear it's ugly head, but at this point the movie introduces a twist that will surprise most viewers. Not an exciting film, but a very interesting one, with some nice nudity by Melanie Laurent.

Melanie Laurent




More of Alexis Dziena: Broken Flowers  
Rachel Weisz in Constantine