Monday

Tuna
"Woman of Desire"

Woman of Desire (1993) is an erotic thriller/courtroom drama starring a frequently naked Bo Derek. As the film starts, Jeff Fahey, as the hired captain of her husbands yacht, is found barely alive washed up on shore, while Bo is in the hospital accusing him of rape and of murdering her husband. Her husbands twin brother is very interested in seeing Fahey brought to justice, but old friend of Fahey and retired criminal lawyer Robert Mitchum is not convinced of Fahey's guilt. The part of both brothers is played by Steven Bauer. Mitchum was clearly the class of the film in terms of acting, but Bo looked great, showing full frontal getting ready to dive off of the yacht, and again having sex with Fahey on a motorcycle. She also shows breasts sunbathing on deck, in a shower scene, and in two more sex sessions.

It is far from the worst erotic thriller I have seen, and has some interesting plot twists, especially at the end. IMDB readers have it at 3.8 of 10. There are no reviews worth mentioning. As near as I can tell, it had no theatrical release. For my money, it is a watchable thriller, and has Bo Derek very naked. What more could you ask of an erotic thriller. C.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Bo Derek (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)

    Tuna Archive News

    I have now checked the entire Tuna archive. Everything should now work. If anyone finds a problem, please let me know, and tell me which browser you found the problem with. I have a stack of DVDs to redo longer than my Johnson, and the following projects have been improved over what was originally published in Fun House:

    Nowhere to Run
    La Nuit Des Traquees
    An Occasional Hell
    An Officer and a Gentleman
    The People vs. Larry Flint
    Picking Up the Pieces
    Poltergeist
    Private Parts
    Prizzi's Honor
    Vamping
    Walkabout
    The War Zone
    West Side Story
    Sex and the Other Man
    Shaft
    Shadow of Doubt
    Shadow Hours

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies:

    Spider is a movie from the talented but dour, strange, and humorless director David Cronenberg (Crash, The Fly), starring the very talented but equally dour, strange, and humorless Ralph Fiennes, so you just know it's gonna be a light hearted laugh riot. Despite those big names and a European run, it has not yet opened in North America. Cronenberg is from North America (Canada), so that marketing strategy is pretty confusing until you realize that the commercial potential of this film is pretty darned close to zero, although I suppose you could consider it an artistic success. Fiennes plays a troubled, unsmiling, loony with a minimal grasp on reality. Released from the institution he is in a halfway house, the new environment causing him to relive the incidents that drove him to madness in his childhood. He rarely speaks, and when he does speak or write, it is in a language of his own devising.

     It is a painfully languid movie, so slow and deliberate that if Andrei Tarkovsky were still alive and saw this movie, he'd be shouting "get on with it" at the screen. This thing makes Solaris seem like an Indiana Jones movie. Worse than that, it is a psychological mystery 98 minutes long, in which the solution is obvious after about ten minutes. It would have been obvious even sooner, except that the first nine minutes consist solely of Fiennes mumbling, crawling, drooling on his old worn shoes, and holding his hands at odd angles. You know, the usual "loony schtick". Once he stopped grimacing and babbling, we realize that there is some kind of mystery, and it's then completely obvious what the solution must be. Unfortunately, the transparent mystery means that we have to endure 88 additional minutes of drooling and delusional flashbacks until the director chooses to reveal what we can already see.

    The acting is great. Ralph Fiennes does a troubled humorless soul better than anyone in the world. Even better than Jeremy Irons. In fact, he makes Irons seem as zany and devil-may-care as Dean Martin.

    It will open in North America on January 3. You don't have to be Nostradamus to figure out that critics will praise it, and people will ignore them.

    The woman who got topless is playing the same role as Miranda Richardson (well, one of Richardson's roles - she plays three. Not worth explaining), but Richardson herself stays dressed.

    Since Ms. Richardson didn't get nekkid in this film, and there is no volume for her in the Encyclopedia yet, I though it would be a good time to take a look at her career.

    Just for fun - JAG's sexy, stacked Catherine Bell in an episode of Dream On, and on an episode of Howard Stern

     


    Other crap:


     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Drew Barrymore, young, beautiful, and topless in a shower scene from the 1993 movie "Doppelganger".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    I'm sending in some new stuff from "The Beach Girls" because of the response I got from the Xmas week posts. This is a cult movie with a large and enthusiastic following. So, why is that?

    Well, there are the headliner babes, of course. Those would be Jeana Tomasina and Val Kline. Great looking women, to be sure, each of whom has a topless scene of considerable length.

    • Jeana Tomasina (1, 2)
    • Val Kline (1, 2)


    These women are helped out by Debra Blee, in her first movie and her only exposure. And they are aided by a couple other babes, who are not household names but are more than a little attractive. These babes include one-timer Jeanette Linné, who walks and lies around topless in a couple of scenes, and Tesse Richard. Tesse is more famous for her exposure in "Cat People" and is barely exposed here as she jumps into a pool topless.

    • Jeanette Linné (1, 2)


    Many more women bare their breasts or get nekkid in the full-frontal sense...but these remain nameless. And then there are a couple of women who went on to greater fame but who revealed nothing beyond what you can see at any beach even in the U.S. They are Corinne Bohrer of Dead Solid Perfect fame and Catherine Mary Stewart.


    Therein lies a lesson of sorts, which is that five minutes is not allowed to go by in this movie without some babe, somehow giving up some goodies. That accounts for at least a part of the affection for this movie.

    And there is humor, some of it resembling the Abrams-Zucker style that made Airplane! so funny. All the humor is broad without being annoying and some of it has been copied repeatedly. Best example of that is an opening scene in which a topless babe walks down the beach as a guy watches her, with a hotdog in one and a squeeze-bottle of mustard in the other. As he stares, the hotdog protrudes from the bun and inevitably the mustard squirts out of the bottle in a long Peter Northesque burst. That set-up I have seen a dozen times but this is the first place it was done, so far as I can tell.

    All of that is important to explain the cult following of the movie, but I think the most important part of it that generates real affection is just how damn optomistic it is. Lemme give you an example. A fortyish guy gets hit on by two twenties babes so they can stay at his beach house for the summer, but even after he agrees to let them do so, the babes hang out with him rather than go romp around in the never-ending party. You see, they really, really like him. His fiancee catches him with the girls, gives him a piece of her mind but he doesn't care, the babes don't care and no sooner has the fiancee walked ten yards than she finds a twenties hunk to fool around with. Everyone winds up with someone, even the local Coast Guard commander, who could've, should've and would've busted everyone for pot possession but who gets down to partying, instead. You see? Everyone just wants to have fun and there are no contrivances, conflicts or melodramas to mess up the show. THAT is why people...guys, in particular... love this movie. It is guilt-free fun at its finest. At least that's why I like it.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    It's a "Hankster Lite" day as we look at the 1999 Adam Sandler movie "Big Daddy". My wife rented this and I couldn't resist doing the cleavage scenes of Kristy Swanson, I think she is just the cutest thing (I loved her on the TV show "Early Edition"). I also threw in some caps of Leslie Mann from the same movie who had some pretty nice cleavage of her own.

    • Kristy Swanson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
    • Leslie Mann (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Mostly Canadian stuff today.

    First up, Jackie Burroughs shaking her booty at the ripe old age of 60 in "Have Mercy" (1999). This is really gross. She looks like that granny from the hefmag cartoons.


    "The Advocate's Devil" (1997) is a television movie not to be confused with the Al Pacino classic. Despite the sexual nature, everyone keeps their clothes on in the scenes of interest.


    Next up...Sarah Dunsworth showing major cleavage in another episode of "Trailer Park Boys" (2001).


    Heather Bertram filling out her t-shirt quite nicely in an episode of "Psi Factor". She's the sister of the equally well-endowed Laura Bertram of Andromeda.


    Sadie LeBlanc: bikini in another "Psi Factor" episode. Looking at the footage, that was definitely her who's topless in Jailbait but I still have my doubts about her dancing topless in Rated X.

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Amanda Peet
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Excellent topless 'caps from "Igby Goes Down". This puppy isn't due out on video until February, so kudos to Mr. NC!

    Madeleine Stowe
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Sherrie Rose
    (1, 2, 3)


    From the 1992 movie "Unlawful Entry". Ray Liotta delivered a wonderfully psycho performance, and Stowe and Rose both show breast exposure.

    Variety
    Elizabeth Hurley
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Topless in 'caps from "The Weight of Water".

    Samantha Mathis Topless in scenes from "Attraction" (2000).

    Dana Delany Brief breast exposure in scenes from "Light Sleeper" (1992).