"Toy Soldiers"

Toy Soldiers (1984) is a drama action with a vaguely familiar story. Some rich Beverly Hills kids are yachting for spring vacation under the command of an ex marine. They play a practical joke and sail away from him. One of their number is injured, they take him ashore for help, and end up imprisoned by Central American revolutionaries and held for ransom. One escapes. The government is little help, and her father supports the government. Their is nothing left but for her to convince the ex marine to take her and a handful of friends in for a rescue.

The lead is played by Terri Garber (General Hospital, Santa Barbara). She shows breasts while in captivity. She and her two female friends (Mary Beth Evans and Tracy Scoggins) have serious see-through action during a beer fight on the yacht. The film is a watchable if predictable plot, and is well photographed, making it an easy watch. IMDb readers have it at 5.8 of 10. It was partially filmed in Mexico. This is a C, a good genre effort with glimpses of three well-known TV actresses.

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  • Mary Beth Evans (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Terri Garber (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Tracy Scoggins (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Open Water (2004):

    I have written about this many times before. Comments here.

    The Region 1 DVD is chockablock with goodies. Lots of deleted scenes, two full-length commentaries, some featurettes. Generally a good job for those of you interested in the film.

    • Blanchard Ryan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Hi, Scoopy. While my inspiration is still dried up, yours seems to be going very strong. Prove of that is your extensive, very comprehensible and informative review of Kinsey. Great work, please don't stop there. I can't think of many places where you will find such quality.

    Heaven's Prisoners (1996)

    Now that she's a desperate housewife, it may be interesting to take another look at Teri Hatcher's (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) controversial nude scene in "Heaven's Prisoners" (1996).

    Heinrich der Saeger (2001)

    Now I've got four German actresses installed for your viewing pleasure. "Heinrich der Säger" (2001;Henry the Sawer?) provides two of them. For some reason Meret Becker (.wmv zipped) proceeds to a bit of autoflagellation (at least that's how I think it is called), while a good-looking girl like Karina Krawczyk (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) could really do better for herself than this old codger, don't you think?


    Das Viereck (2001)

    In "Das Viereck" (1987; The Rectangle) German star Iris Berben (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) shows us her triangle and the rest. There's plenty of material on her in the Encyclopedia as well.


    Raus aus der Haut (1997)

    To end this contribution in a big way, have a look at Susanne Bormann (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) in "Raus aus der Haut" (1997;Out of the Skin). In this full frontal appearance Susanne shows her big'uns, and big they are, aren't they? There's caps from this film in the back issues.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    This is an amazing feat. Two years before the release of the original Caligula (1979), starring former Pet of the Year, Anneka di Lorenzo as the Empress Messalina, the sequel Caligula II is released, starring Anneka di Lorenzo as the Empress Messalina. Caligula II goes by many names... the version I rented was called Messalina, Messalina (1979) and what a messalina it is. How much of a mess, you ask. A much bigger mess than the original.

    That's possible because the makers of Messaline, Messalina decided to turn it into an Italian sex farce. And that means you're going to have all manner of chubby bug-eyed short guys running around in sexual situations that no chubby bug-eyed short guy would ever find himself in. This is the definition of Italian farce, whether on the big screen or the small: Homely guys and beautiful women doing the nasty. How very funny.

    The sorta dramatic backdrop to it all is the same as that seen in the BBC production of I Claudius: Messalina humps anyone, male or female. The powers that be get pissed off and her husband, Claudius, orders an end to it all in the most final fashion. The comedy isn't funny, the sex isn't sexy, the drama isn't dramatic. We call that an 0-for-3.

    Anneka sports a pair that have grown since the days of Caligula. She shows them off a lot (collages 1-4). And you see some bum (collage 2) and a bit of the furry stuff when she and Lori Wagner once again meet and great one another. Yet the Lori-and-Anneka scene is way tamer than the one in Caligula. So much tamer and more poorly photographed that the scene holds your interest for a good 30 or 40 picoseconds before you go hunting desperately for the remote. You can see the best of it in Anneka's collage #5.

    Lori also does a triple B performance, in the days before two Good year blimps were inserted into her chest...for ya see, Lori became a pornstar and even did John Wayne Bobbit on film, after his snap-off tool was snapped back on.

    What compounds the complete waste that is Messalina, Messalina is the quality of the DVD. Let's grab a tape off the shelf, said the guy who bankrolled the transfer. So they did. An oft-rented copy by the look of it. Noise and hairs and faults and lines, the kind of stuff that makes a DVD worth watching.

    So as I was FFing through this movie I thought of the old joke about heaven and hell in Europe. Heaven is where all the Italians are lovers, hell is where they are mechanics. Or even worse, movie producers.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Wild at Heart"
    People who like character studies of unique personalities must have loved Wild at Heart, because director David Lynch's 1990 film is overflowing with oddballs, which is part of what makes it so great.

    Sailor (Nicolas Cage) and Lula (Laura Dern) are in love. Lula's mother shows her disapproval by hiring a hit man to kill Sailor. Unfortunately, the hit man failed his proficiency test, and Sailor winds up killing him. Apparently, self defense is unacceptable in North Carolina, because Sailor is sentenced to two years for manslaughter.

    Nothing much changes when Sailor is released. Lula picks him up at the prison, and Momma picks a new hit man. As Sailor decides to break parole and take Lula and himself to California, Mommy Dearest is arranging for not just one but two hit men. In a nice touch, the second hit man is also to kill the first hit man. These folks are nothing but weird.

    This is an excellent, fun-to-watch piece of insanity with lots of excitement, some good sex scenes and nice nudity, and a great story. I was able to find an unrated version, but there doesn't appear to be a full screen version released on DVD. That's a real pity, because you just know in some of the shots in the sex scenes, the wide screen cuts off Laura's perky boobs.

    Jack Snow
    'caps and comments by Jack Snow...

    Here's another batch of 'caps from European TV:

    First up, some older stuff...

    Daniela Dadieu Brief topless from the series "Aus heiterem Himmel"

    Hemma Clementi Nude in a shower scene from the Austrian TV-movie "Mein Opa ist der Beste"

    Michaela May A very quick nipple glimpse during a love scene on an episode of the 1986-series "Hans im Glück"

    Susanne Lothar Toplessnews as filmed by a voyeur on the 2nd part of the movie "Das tödliche Auge"

    Next, the recent goodies from Euro-TV....

    Anuk Ens
    Katrin Brockmann

    We see Ens in a bra and showing a partial breast view on the series "Verschollen". On the same episode, Brockmann looked great in her undies.

    Nina Hartmann The Austrian actress and model delivered some nice toplessness on the latest Austrian Tatort.

    Julia Prochnow
    Monika Disse

    Each actress bares a breast in separate scenes from the mini-series "Heimat 3".

    Teresa Weißbach Doing a little topless protesting (with writing on her chest) in a scene from "Käthchens Traum".

    Sophie Schütt And finally, the most discussed nude scene on German TV in 2004: It was performed by Sophie Schütt on the TV-movie "Schöne Witwen küssen besser". The producing TV-station decided to cut it from the movie because "the actress didn't look very attractive in it". This was reported by a big German news paper before the broadcasting happened and under "public pressure" a short version of the scene was taken back into the movie. Nevertheless, the station decided to give this scene some extra blurring by digitally adding some plants into the foreground, so that we didn't get the full joy of this scene.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    Deadwood was hyped in Australia as the best, most realistic American western ever but I thought it was just dull. Full frontal nudity by Paula Malcomson, topless nudity by some unknown prostitutes and some see-through breast shown by Molly Parker.

    "The Stepford Wives"
    The Stepford Wives was one weird 70s film. Some very nice see-through views of Katharine Ross along with plenty of pokies (she never wore a bra). There are also some nice caps of Paula Prentiss.

    • Katharine Ross (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Paula Prentiss (1, 2, 3)

    Some rear views of adult actresses Jessica Drake and Brianna Banks in Sin, as well as some bikini ladies.

    "Going Down"
    No visible nudity in Going Down, just some nice caps of Christina Larkin, Hope Riley, Reneé Estevex, Kristin Novak and Lynette Fame.

    "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"
    It's the same again in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind with caps of Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jennifer Hall.

    "Intolerable Cruelty"
    Yet again in Intolerable Cruelty. Kristin Dattilo and another group of ladies are down to their underwear but Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kiersten Warren and Stacey Travis are the eye candy.

    "Helen of Troy"
    Sienna Guillory shows some see-through breast exposure and as well as her buttocks. Katie Blake shows that the ancient Greeks invented elastic and there's a bit of nudity by some other women.

    Rosie Perez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Brief breast exposure from the vocally distinctive actress in scenes from the 1992 movie "White Men Can't Jump".

    Charlotte Lewis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the exotic beauty topless in scenes from the Dolph Lundgren movie "Men of War" (1994).