Toy Soldiers (1984) is a drama action with a vaguely familiar story. Some rich Beverly Hills kids are yachting for spring vacation under the command of an ex marine. They play a practical joke and sail away from him. One of their number is injured, they take him ashore for help, and end up imprisoned by Central American revolutionaries and held for ransom. One escapes. The government is little help, and her father supports the government. Their is nothing left but for her to convince the ex marine to take her and a handful of friends in for a rescue.
The lead is played by Terri Garber (General Hospital, Santa Barbara). She shows breasts while in captivity. She and her two female friends (Mary Beth Evans and Tracy Scoggins) have serious see-through action during a beer fight on the yacht. The film is a watchable if predictable plot, and is well photographed, making it an easy watch. IMDb readers have it at 5.8 of 10. It was partially filmed in Mexico. This is a C, a good genre effort with glimpses of three well-known TV actresses.
Mary Beth Evans
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Open Water (2004):
I have written about this many times before.
The Region 1 DVD is chockablock with goodies. Lots of deleted
scenes, two full-length commentaries, some featurettes. Generally a
good job for those of you interested in the film.
Blanchard Ryan (1,
Deformity of the week!
The illegal drug Ecstasy 'may ease fears of dying cancer patients'
Get an inflatable tavern, so you'll have a place to
hide from your inflatable lover.
Disneyland: 50 Years of Souvenirs
Reported Paige Davis sex tape is apparently not her!.
Web site says: "We have been able to confirm through various
sources that the woman in the sex tape we have is NOT, repeat NOT
Paige Davis of TLC's Trading Spaces. She looks and sounds almost
exactly like Ms. Davis, but is certainly not her." (Frankly,
neither the confirmations nor the denials have had any type of
credibility so far.)
WTF??? This is some creepy shit.
The meaning of Russian Prison Tattoos. There are some
nekkid chicks, but they aren't exactly likely to make you forget
Weekly World News: "SCIENTIST CREATES DIAMONDS FROM DOG POOP! "
Liza Minnelli a headbanger. Spinal Tap to sing show tunes.
2004's top 10 entertainment stories.
Fallujah.US - Raw video footage from the U.S. military offensive
in Fallujah, Iraq, 2004. The webmaster had this to say,
"I've just been sent a new raw and uncut video. Insurgents try to
drive a bus into a bunch of marines and the marines light the bus
up and fill it with holes. Amazing to watch but towards the end
they take the camera and inspect inside the bus, blood etc. I kind
of felt sorry for the Iraqis once the survivors were being
treated. When they were being fired on, I wanted them to get hit,
but once they were wounded, I wanted them to live. It's very
interesting to watch the marines fire on them and then treat them
for their wounds just minutes later. It's like someone just
flipped a switch. They go from trying to pick them off to pulling
them out of the burning bus in an instant."
Mayor of Bogota uses Mimes for Crowd Control. "20
professional mimes shadowed pedestrians who didn't follow crossing
rules: A pedestrian running across the road would be tracked by a
mime who mocked his every move. Mimes also poked fun at reckless
drivers. The program was so popular that another 400 people were
trained as mimes." Excellent! Social programs that require a lot
more mimes. Bring 'em to San Antonio, and we'll toss 'em in the
river with the others. When we do mime toss on the Riverwalk, it
is almost impossible to throw more than four in the river in one
day. If we had another 400, the possibilities would be limitless!
Author Arthur C. Clarke talks about the tsunami from his home in
- Good news for Fond du Lac -
new data shows that meteor isn't going to hit earth in 2029.
The scoop on Minghella's next project. He's really
trying hard to find some more ways to film The English Patient
with different costumes.
The year's best jazz records.
The Best 100 Toys of all time. Their ranking doesn't
matter, but it is fun nostalgia.
Village Voice's 2004 Film Poll Winners. They picked
Dogville as the #3 film of the year. Here's Scoopy's rule to
determine whether you should be a film critic. If you can not name
at least 100 films in 2004 better than Dogville, you should seek
other employment. If you really still want to be a movie critic,
there's always The Village Voice, where a lack of taste and
knowledge is no impediment.
Jet Li survives the tsunami.
- Headline of the day:
Professor objects to mountain sex. I tried that, but
either I wasn't man enough or the mountain was frigid.
The trailer for The Edukators. "Jan, Peter and Jule are
living out their rebellious youth. They are united by their
passion to change the state of the world. Jan and Peter become
"The Edukators," mysterious perpetrators who non-violently warn
the local rich their "days of plenty are numbered." Complications
follow when vulnerable Jule ends up falling for both young men.
Reckless choices result in danger. An operation gone wrong and
what was never intended to be a kidnapping brings the three young
idealists face-to-face with the values of the generation in power
On the set of The Fantastic Four with Stan Lee and the
The best of signs, the worst of signs. "A collection of
photos containing humorous, bizarre, and or confusing signs from
around the world."
Supermodel Petra Nemcova barely escapes Asian tsunami.
She does have some fairly serious injuries. She clung to a palm
tree for eight hours until rescuers arrived. Her boyfriend is
Google Zeitgeist summary for 2004. What were the most
important searches of the year?
- Various home movies of the tsunami striking. All show the same
chilling sight - tropical beach, sunny day, then chaos.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Hi, Scoopy. While my inspiration is
still dried up, yours seems to be going very strong. Prove of that
is your extensive, very comprehensible and informative review of
Kinsey. Great work, please don't stop there. I can't think of many
places where you will find such quality.
Heaven's Prisoners (1996)
Now that she's a desperate housewife, it may be interesting to
take another look at Teri Hatcher's (.wmv zipped
, .avi zipped
controversial nude scene in "Heaven's Prisoners" (1996).
Heinrich der Saeger (2001)
Now I've got four German actresses installed for your viewing
pleasure. "Heinrich der Säger" (2001;Henry the Sawer?) provides
two of them. For some reason Meret Becker (.wmv zipped)
proceeds to a bit of autoflagellation (at least that's how I
think it is called), while a good-looking girl like Karina
Krawczyk (.wmv zipped
, .avi zipped
) could really do better for
herself than this old codger, don't you think?
Das Viereck (2001)
In "Das Viereck" (1987; The Rectangle) German star Iris Berben
, .avi zipped
) shows us her triangle and the rest.
There's plenty of material on her in the Encyclopedia as well.
Raus aus der Haut (1997)
To end this contribution in a big way, have a look at Susanne
Bormann (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped) in "Raus aus der Haut"
(1997;Out of the Skin). In this full frontal appearance Susanne
shows her big'uns, and big they are, aren't they? There's caps
from this film in the back issues.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
This is an amazing feat. Two years before the release
of the original Caligula (1979), starring former Pet
of the Year, Anneka di Lorenzo as the Empress
Messalina, the sequel Caligula II is released,
starring Anneka di Lorenzo as the Empress Messalina.
Caligula II goes by many names... the version I rented
was called Messalina, Messalina (1979) and what a
messalina it is. How much of a mess, you ask. A much
bigger mess than the original.
That's possible because the makers of Messaline,
Messalina decided to turn it into an Italian sex
farce. And that means you're going to have all manner
of chubby bug-eyed short guys running around in sexual
situations that no chubby bug-eyed short guy would
ever find himself in. This is the definition of
Italian farce, whether on the big screen or the small:
Homely guys and beautiful women doing the nasty. How
The sorta dramatic backdrop to it all is the same as
that seen in the BBC production of I Claudius:
Messalina humps anyone, male or female. The powers
that be get pissed off and her husband, Claudius,
orders an end to it all in the most final fashion.
The comedy isn't funny, the sex isn't sexy, the drama
isn't dramatic. We call that an 0-for-3.
Anneka sports a pair that have grown since the days of
Caligula. She shows them off a lot (collages 1-4).
And you see some bum (collage 2) and a bit of the
furry stuff when she and Lori Wagner once again meet
and great one another. Yet the Lori-and-Anneka scene
is way tamer than the one in Caligula. So much tamer
and more poorly photographed that the scene holds your
interest for a good 30 or 40 picoseconds before you go
hunting desperately for the remote. You can see the
best of it in Anneka's collage #5.
Lori also does a triple B performance, in the days
before two Good year blimps were inserted into her
chest...for ya see, Lori became a pornstar and even
did John Wayne Bobbit on film, after his snap-off tool
was snapped back on.
What compounds the complete waste that is Messalina,
Messalina is the quality of the DVD. Let's grab a
tape off the shelf, said the guy who bankrolled the
transfer. So they did. An oft-rented copy by the
look of it. Noise and hairs and faults and lines, the
kind of stuff that makes a DVD worth watching.
So as I was FFing through this movie I thought of the
old joke about heaven and hell in Europe. Heaven is
where all the Italians are lovers, hell is where they
are mechanics. Or even worse, movie producers.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Wild at Heart"
People who like character studies of unique personalities must have loved Wild at Heart, because director David Lynch's 1990 film is overflowing with oddballs, which is part of what makes it so great.
Sailor (Nicolas Cage) and Lula (Laura Dern) are in love. Lula's mother shows her disapproval by hiring a hit man to kill Sailor. Unfortunately, the hit man failed his proficiency test, and Sailor winds up killing him. Apparently, self defense is unacceptable in North Carolina, because Sailor is sentenced to two years for manslaughter.
Nothing much changes when Sailor is released. Lula picks him up at the prison, and Momma picks a new hit man. As Sailor decides to break parole and take Lula and himself to California, Mommy Dearest is arranging for not just one but two hit men. In a nice touch, the second hit man is also to kill the first hit man. These folks are nothing but weird.
This is an excellent, fun-to-watch piece of insanity with lots of excitement, some good sex scenes and nice nudity, and a great story. I was able to find an unrated version, but there doesn't appear to be a full screen version released on DVD. That's a real pity, because you just know in some of the shots in the sex scenes, the wide screen cuts off Laura's perky boobs.
'caps and comments by Jack Snow...
Here's another batch of 'caps from European TV:
First up, some older stuff...
||Brief topless from the series "Aus heiterem Himmel"
||Nude in a shower scene from the Austrian TV-movie "Mein Opa ist der Beste"
||A very quick nipple glimpse during a love scene on an episode of the 1986-series "Hans im Glück"
||Toplessnews as filmed by a voyeur on the 2nd part of the movie "Das tödliche Auge"
Next, the recent goodies from Euro-TV....
|We see Ens in a bra and showing a partial breast view on the series "Verschollen". On the same episode, Brockmann looked great in her undies.
||The Austrian actress and model delivered some nice toplessness on the latest Austrian Tatort.
|Each actress bares a breast in separate scenes from the mini-series "Heimat 3".
||Doing a little topless protesting (with writing on her chest) in a scene from "Käthchens Traum".
||And finally, the most discussed nude scene on German TV in 2004: It was performed by Sophie Schütt on the TV-movie "Schöne Witwen küssen besser". The producing TV-station decided to cut it from the movie because "the actress didn't look very attractive in it". This was reported by a big German news paper before the broadcasting happened and under "public pressure" a short version of the scene was taken back into the movie. Nevertheless, the station decided to give this scene some extra blurring by digitally adding some plants into the foreground, so that we didn't get the full joy of this scene.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Deadwood was hyped in Australia as the best, most realistic American western ever but I thought it was just dull. Full frontal nudity by Paula Malcomson, topless nudity by some unknown prostitutes and some see-through breast shown by Molly Parker.
"The Stepford Wives"
The Stepford Wives was one weird 70s film. Some very nice see-through views of Katharine Ross along with plenty of pokies (she never wore a bra). There are also some nice caps of Paula Prentiss.
- Katharine Ross
- Paula Prentiss
Some rear views of adult actresses Jessica Drake and Brianna Banks in Sin, as well as some bikini ladies.
No visible nudity in Going Down, just some nice caps of Christina Larkin, Hope Riley, Reneé Estevex, Kristin Novak and Lynette Fame.
"Confessions of a Dangerous Mind"
It's the same again in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind with caps of Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Jennifer Hall.
Yet again in Intolerable Cruelty. Kristin Dattilo and another group of ladies are down to their underwear but Catherine Zeta-Jones, Kiersten Warren and Stacey Travis are the eye candy.
"Helen of Troy"
Sienna Guillory shows some see-through breast exposure and as well as her buttocks. Katie Blake shows that the ancient Greeks invented elastic and there's a bit of nudity by some other women.
|Brief breast exposure from the vocally distinctive actress in scenes from the 1992 movie "White Men Can't Jump".
|Señor Skin 'caps of the exotic beauty topless in scenes from the Dolph Lundgren movie "Men of War" (1994).