Tuesday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Hot Hot Hot!
These came in after today's page had been published, but I could not wait another day to post them....The Katie Holmes bootlegs are here! Here she is in all of her topless glory in scenes from "The Gift"!

The quality is, well bootleg...but the goodies are worth the eye strain. A huge thanks to UCO for #1 and #2, and a Fun House reader for the others.

  • (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Attention Imagers!
    Submitted by a reader, perhaps someone out there can get ahold of these pictures?
    Subject: Demi Moore Porn Pics Scandal

    From the IMDb:
    Hollywood beauty Demi Moore's comfortable world is being racked by scandal - as pornographic teenage photographs of the star return to haunt her. Demi posed for the saucy shots when she was just a Tinseltown wannabe, and was happy to forget about them - but thanks to the internet, the sexy snaps are making their way around the world. The raciest of the photos were published in German P***boy in 1983, while the slightly less revealing versions appeared in OUI magazine. The raunchiest photos could not be shown in America - since naked Demi was just a tender 17 when they were taken. A source in the porn industry says, "Absolutely nothing is left to the imagination. They are so brazen that it's absolutely startling. Demi is very beautiful, but her poses are pornographic." A friend of the star's adds, "She's got three young daughters, and her responsibilities have increased since she divorced Bruce. She knows those darned pictures are out there somewhere, and she doesn't want her girls to see them. She'd like to take those photos outside and start a bonfire with them. Then she'd know they'd be gone forever."

    D'oh!
    Correction submitted by a Fun House reader:
    In the 12/24 edition, we mislabeled one of TomCat's submissions from the movie "Yom Yom". We listed it as being Hanna Meron when in fact it should have been labeled Natali Atiya. Apparently Hanna is a highly respected, and 80 year old actress.

    Other updates...
    The source of the Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu pic from yesterday's edition is Vadim's "Surprise Party".

    Tuna
    "Christmas Vacation" (1989)

    Christmas Vacation (1989) is the third in the Chevy Chase/Beverly D'Angelo vacation series. This time, their families are taking the vacation to visit them for an old fashioned Christmas. For me, this is the best performance of the four vacation films from Chevy Chase. The daughter, Audrey, is played by a very young Juliette Lewis this time, and Nicolette Scorsese has a short part in probably the funniest scene in the film, when Chase is overwhelmed by her cleavage in a department store, and again when he fantasizes about her naked in the pool he has ordered.

    The film is full of clever dialogue, especially from Chase including:

    "Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah!"

    Indeed, they had to change some dialogue to get a PG rating in the UK. I believe I see evidence of the god old MPAA as well. His father says: "You cocked it up." I suspect it was originally a better-known phrase. Also, the scene where Nicolette Scorsese is getting out of the pool shows the very top of her areola in one frame only. This was probably cut down at the request of the MPAA.

    Maltin likes it at three stars, although he calls it uneven, while Ebert thought it didn't work at two stars. IMDB readers say 6.2/10, which is not bad for a comedy. Box office was very strong with a domestic gross of $71.32m, and US rentals have earned an additional $34.8m. The transfer could be much better. Some Scenes are washed out, lacking color saturation and contrast, while others are grainy. The DVD could really have used a directors cut, a better transfer, deleted scenes and commentary. Nonetheless, I watch this every year. The only exposure is from Scorsese. Lewis is included as it was an early performance, and D'Angelo shows some cleavage.

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  • Nicolette Scorsese (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Juliette Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Beverly D'Angelo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Misc. Images (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Today's obscure Euro-stuff from the Cat....

    Topless vidcaps of an unknown actress from the 1978 French TV movie "Le, Tourbillon des jours". (1, 2, 3)

    Brainscan
    I've decided to make up another award in honor of our busiest holiday contributor...The Brainscan Award, honoring outstanding achievement in post-gift exchange vidcapping. Santa, if you're out there, I know you're tired from last night, but please make a note for next year, Brainscan has been a very good boy.

    Comments by Brainscan:
    PETScan walks in a week ago with a copy he had made of a videotape entitle Edenquest: Pamela Anderson. He tells me the Pammy part of the tape sucks green weenies (he was right) and that the only other babe he recognized was former Pet and B movie bimbo, Shauna O'Brien, whose part also sucked (right again). But, he adds, there are five other babes on the tape and he wonders if I recognize any of em, and do I want to cap them with my new toy? Do I and do I ever. This is one of the best B-level celeb topless tapes ever made with the following cast: Alexandra Kabi, Leeann Tweeden, Racquel Gardner, Rosie Tenison and Kim Bachoffer, in addition to Ms Anderson and Ms O'Brien. 'Capped 162 frames of the puppy and then spent some time over the past week selecting and editing the best of the best of the best, with honors, sir! Stand by to be boarded:

    Alexandra Kabi
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    Alexandra is a lingerie model and former (or maybe current) partner of Don Johnson's. Have sent in some scans of hers before and have seen scans from the bunnymag of her robo-hooters out in the open. Here she spends a good 3 minutes out in the bright sunshine with those man-made wonders available for all to see.

    Leeann Tweeden
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    Leeann is a fitness model and also a lingerie babe, scans of whom have be in the Funhouse recently. But those, according to the modified Herzivoga rules, did not show her nekkid because she had on some Saran Wrap or chains or silly string. These caps, however, do show her topless, really topless with nothing but makeup and air between her surgically enhanced boobs and the camera lens. Have seen some good caps of this part of the tape before and wondered about their origin.... now we know. Capped just about every frame of Leeann's because her toplessness is rare. Odd thing, when you think of it: here is a babe that will not pose nekkid in front of a still photographer but the moment someone with a video camera shows up, off comes the blouse and down go the arms. Not a complaint, mind you, just an observation.

    The last of the Leeann caps is composite, made difficult by the fact that as the camera panned upward, Leeann twisted her frame clockwise. Some distortion was inevitable but I tried to get all the good stuff in place.

    Racquel Gardner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Racquel Gardner starts off the tape and spends as much time on camera in an interview as she does posing in the altogether. Those with keen memories (I had to look it up, myself) will remember Racquel for her role in Species II as a victim of the male alien (or so I assume from the caps I have seen; didn't watch the movie). The last of her caps is also composite with similar distortion because she is moving as the camera pans, BUT I worked on it because it was the only shot of anyone's arse in the whole darn tape.

    Rosie Tenison
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Rosie Tenison is the twin sister of former bunnymagperson, Rene Tenison. In her interview, Rosie says she started to model because Rene was making so much money doing so and since she (Rosie) looks exactly like her (Rene) she (Rosie) figured there was money to be made. So let me see if I get this: your sister makes money posing nude and you figure folks will hire you because you are her identical twin rather than hire her, even though she is the Hefmate. Makes no sense to me but am I ever glad it made sense to Rosie. She is my fave of the models but the recording of her photo session really stunk. Did the best I could.

    Kim Bachoffer

    Shauna O'Brien
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    And then these is Kim Bachoffer and Shauna O'Brien (figured all y'all had seen Pammy nude so many times you didn't need to do it again. In fact, I would bet Pammy wins the award as woman, sucking trouser snake, seen by the greatest number of people). Kim's session was a disappointment; and she has modeled for Hefmag publications, but the only thing non-PEI that I could find was this.

    Finally, I turned PETScan loose on Shauna's Pet photo shoot. She is a real honey and used to have a killer bod, before the installation of the super-sized robo-hooters.

    Well that's it for a while, folks. Next thing I cap is gonna be short and sweet and require no editing whatsoever.

    PAL
    Lisa Aliff Topless scenes from 1990's "Playroom".

    Joanna Going Comments by PAL
    From "How To Make An American Quilt". Is it really her? I couldn't find this scene listed at any of the known databases. Can anyone confirm this?

    April Telek The former Miss Canada turned actress. Here she is topless in scenes from "Hardball".

    Gwen Welles Brief breast exposure from 1973's "Hit!", starring Richard Pryor and Billy Dee Williams.
    The Night
    Amy Smart
    (1, 2)
    Excellent topless collages from the movie "Road Trip".
    The Funnies
    Santa's Best Pick Up Lines

    * I know when you've been bad or good -- so let's skip the small talk, Sister!
    * Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
    * Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
    * Some of my best toys run on batteries...
    * I see you when you're sleeping - and you don't wear any underwear, do you?
    * Forget the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list!
    * Wanna join the "Mile High" club?



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