I wish all of you and your families the best in this holiday season and the coming year.

"Long Jeanne Silver"

Long Jeanne Silver (1977) in an Alex de Renzy effort completely capitalizing on his star, Jeanne Silver. She was born with a deformed foot, and had it amputated as a baby. After becoming popular in burlesque and in magazine spreads, de Renzy turned her into a porn actress, demonstrating just what she could get into with her stump. She does a three way with Amber Hunt and Paul Thomas, sodomizes a gay guy, seduces two coeds, etc.

This can reasonably claim to be one of the strangest hard core films of the 70s. The transfer was made from a scratched print, but is not terrible. It has little plot, instead using more or less a documentary style. Silver has no acting ability, and a rather irritating voice, so it was probably a wise decision. It is nearly non-stop stump sex, and, in spite of her handicap, she exudes sexuality. The images include shots from her magazine spreads contained in the special features. Thisis indeed a 70s porn classic,a dn is a good enough transfer, C+.

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  • Amber Hunt (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Jeanne Silver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
  • Jeanne Silver magazine pics. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Merry Christmas

    Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I wish you and your loved ones (whether they be human or inflatable) lots of happiness over the holidays. As the song says, don't worry, be happy. And if that family warmth starts to suffocate you, well, we're here for you with naked chicks and other naughtiness.


    The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004):

    This is a terrific movie on its own terms, but I need to tell you what it is not.

    The marketing campaign is quite misleading, because it is based on three or four scenes which are quirky-funny in a deadpan way. There are some very funny things in the film, but the tone of the clips is totally misleading. It ain't filled with yuks.

    So if it isn't a comedy, you're thinking, what is it?

    I didn't say it isn't a comedy. It is. It's just that it's a comedy about sadness, about the death of loved ones, about violence, about forgiveness, about losing what we once were and the dreams we once followed. Those things, as a rule, are not funny matters unless they are addressed by Mel Brooks, but this is not a balls-to-the-wall, soft hearted, "anything for a laugh" Brooksian comedy. Not even close. The Life Aquatic derives its humor from a bittersweet sense of the odd - treating extraordinarily occurrences with an odd mix of understated wonderment and blasé acceptance. A giant jaguar shark? A boatload of pirates? A long-lost son? All in a day's work for Team Zissou, the Bizarro-world version of Team Cousteau.

    The pirate attack on the Belafonte (their version of the Calypso, get it?) is a good example of how this film plays with tone shifts. That episode is not played out the way Mel Brooks might do it, by comical corsairs who pull off an operation in such a way that we know nobody will be hurt for real. Not at all. These are real pirates, violent and heavily armed men with nothing to lose. When the Zissou crew is being tied up and threatened, the tone of the film switches to that of a legitimate thriller, and we fear for the lives of our main characters, as we do in many incidents throughout the movie. Indeed, in the course of the film, Zissou (Bill Murray) loses his best friend and his son. Well, maybe it's his son. Or not.

    This is a peculiar and sometimes grotesque movie. A comedy about tragedy. Imagine Hamlet turned into a dark comedy and told from the POV of Hamlet's father's ghost, and you'll start to get the idea. It is also totally lacking in energy. Just about everyone in the film delivers lines in a laid-back, world-weary way that makes it seem like they are sleepwalking. I think that is a deliberate matter of style.

    Originality is the ultimate hallmark of genius, the one thing that separates true geniuses from highly competent mortals. Steven Spielberg, for example, is a highly competent director, but no genius. He blazes no new trails. He simply does things much BETTER than others have done them before. Writer/director Wes Anderson, on the other hand, does things others would never think of. In a world of syncopation, sequels, and copycats, Wes marches to ... I was going to say a different drummer, and the drummer part may be right, but Wes doesn't march. When the band is playing Sousa, Wes is waltzing to Strauss.

    I think that's a good thing.

    Despite a slow build, it also packs a strong emotional punch. It's one of those sucker punches that just sneaks up on you when you aren't looking, and doesn't tell you it's coming - like the punches thrown by Steve Zissou himself.

    Yup, if it is a comedy, it sure is a tragic one. And if it is a tragedy, it sure is a funny one.

    It's one of those where you won't really be sure whether you liked it or not, but it's absolutely worth a watch for those of you who are sick of the usual recycled shit and seek something far from the beaten path.



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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS


    Sole Nudo (1984)  - day 1

    For this Christmas weekend I would like to take you to a warm place. Like Brazil for instance. We don't often have Brazilian celebrities in the Fun House, so this contribution might make a nice change.
    Tânia Alves will show us pretty much everything in 8 clips from the movie "Sole Nudo" (1984; The Naked Sun), an Italian/Brazilian co-production that was so successful that it is still awaiting 5 votes in the IMDb. Tânia seems pretty much in demand in her home country, where she is known as a singer, dancer and actress. She displays the first two activities along with her bum in clips 1 and 2, while things gets much hotter in the remaining clips. And a naked Tânia is about all there is to see in this film with its very plain story about some Italian guy coming to Brazil to get some money.
    While a search on Google and Yahoo churned out a lot of links for Tânia Alves, I was unable to find any with nude pics of her, not even her December 1983 spread for the Brazilian bunny mag. She also has a daughter who is an actress, Gabriela Alves, and if you would like to compare her with her mummy, please follow this link and enter the site.
    That's it for now, I'll send the last 4 clips tomorrow.
    PS. The correct spelling for the time being in modern Dutch for "dunder" and "blixem" is "donder" and "bliksem". I did write "for the time being" because in Dutch you never know when they're going to change the spelling once again. They did it 3 or 4 times in the last century alone, and a small change in the years ahead seems likely! Also it might be interesting to know that in Belgium, Holland and France, Saint Nicholas is celebrated on December 6. On that day children are given lots of toys by parents, grandparents, ... 

    Our Saint Nicholas doesn't have reindeer, though. Although he lived in Asia Minor and is buried in Southern Italy, he comes from Spain by steamboat. He transports the children's presents in sacks on a horse or a donkey and goes from rooftop to rooftop aided by black "Petes". Since we don't have that many black men in Belgium, and none in rural areas, the Pete job is practically always done by a white guy painted black, something that doesn't seem to carry a negative racial connotation over here.


    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today I unwrapped my present from the Ghost and guess what I found....two Skinemax legends. Here are Gabriella Hall and Shauna O'Brien in scenes from "The Seductress" (2000).

    • Thumbnails (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Gabriella Hall, topless in all of these except #32. You get a nice variety of pseudo sex scenes plus a shower scene. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

    • Gabriella Hall zipped .wmvs. In clip #1 and 2 she's in the shower and shows about 98% of her bod. #4 has brief frontal nudity. 5-10 feature the nekkid body painting/sex scene 'capped above. 11-15 are from two more pseudo-sex scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    • Thumbnails (1, 2, 3)
    • Former Pet Shauna O'Brien shows off her silly-cones, wears several wigs, gets it on a few times, and shows her bum in #5 and pubes in links 8 and 10. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

    • Shauna O'Brien zipped .wmvs. Robo-boobs everywhere, plus a triple B play in #2, frontal views in #4 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Happy Holidays to everyone in the Fun House!

    For the holiday, today we have a little "Hankster Light".

    First up is one of my favorites, Barbara Alyn Woods, as we go back to 1992 to see Barbara showing some skin in the series "Eden".

    • Barbara Alyn Woods (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Next, let's take another trip back to the newsstand of days gone by and have a look at a few "Damsels in Peril" on the covers of those long gone Men's Adventure Magazines.

    • 'Damsels in Peril' (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Teri Hatcher
    (1, 2)
    Sharon Lawrence
    (1, 2)

    DeadLamb 'caps of Hatcher and guest star Sharon Lawrence both showing a little skin on last week's episode of "Desperate Housewives".

    Alison Folland
    (1, 2, 3)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Folland in a love scene from the movie "Things Behind the Sun" (2001). Folland is one of those actresses that has had several small-but-decent roles in a few big movies, but still basically remains unknown.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Paris Is Boring - New York Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove has resolved to never again mention Paris Hilton. He says she's a "rich, witless party girl" with no "discernible talent, education, scruples, manners or underpants;" she's selfish, racist, snobbish, a bad tipper and a hypocrite (she "wrote" a book she's never read, posed for a "Vote Or Die" poster and isn't registered, and claimed to be modest and uninterested in sex while making $400,000 from a porn tape.) The fed-up Grove said he'll mention her again if she discovers a cure for cancer, wins the Nobel Peace Prize, launches herself into outer space, or gets her high school diploma.

  • All equally likely.
  • Of course, he's hoping for outer space.
  • He'll also mention her name if P. Diddy kills her for not voting.
  • She could give the $400,000 to cancer research, but she spent it on shoes.
  • Good! It leaves that much more room for news about Ashlee Simpson!

    Promises, Promises! - Jennifer Lopez's first ex-husband, Ojani Noa, is suing her. He says she hired him to manage her Pasadena restaurant "Madres" on a promise she wouldn't fire him without good reason, then she replaced him after six months and won't return his calls.

  • It all feels so oddly familiar...
  • And these days, he's about the only one who's calling.
  • Well, she also promised to stay with him until death, and we all know how that worked out.