The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)

Jodie Foster attracted the world's attention at age 13 when she delivered two 1976 two performances that seemed to be channeling a 30-year- old woman into her childlike body. The more famous of the two is Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver, in which both Jodie Foster and DeNiro would deliver performances which would soon be regarded as iconic, and are now considered among the most memorable of the century. The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane was Jodie's other precocious performance. The two roles demonstrate quite a range of acting ability from Foster because, though both characters seem old beyond their years, the Taxi Driver character was a tough street urchin, while this one is a refined lady, daughter of a poet, with al the physical and vocal mannerisms of the upper crust. It can be eerie to watch this film because her voice and inflections seem identical to the grown Jodie we see acting today in films like Inside Man, yet the words are coming out of a child's mouth.

The little girl of the title has recently moved to a small American town from England. She lives in a big house, rented for three years pre-paid, with a mysterious father whom nobody has ever seen. Visitors drop by, but there is always some reason why father can't come down for tea. The story focuses on four of those visitors: (1) a nosy landlady (2) the landlady's perverted son, played by a young Martin Sheen (3) a kindly local sheriff (4) a handicapped boy who will be come to be little girl's co-conspirator. It's obvious to the visitors that something is fishy, and it's also obvious to the audience that the father is not really available, but the little girl manipulates people just enough to avoid admitting that father doesn't exist.

The plot takes a dramatic twist one day when the nosy landlady accidentally kills herself by falling while poking around the basement. The little girl realizes that she has to do something drastic, because a police investigation will certainly reveal that her father doesn't exist, and will also bring out some even more unpleasant secrets. She enlists the assistance of the young dreamer in disposing of the body and, when she takes him entirely into her trust, their conversations become the screenwriting device which allows us to penetrate her veil of secrecy.

There are still two other matters to be attended to. First, the police officer has to pursue the case of the missing landlady, so his curiosity will somehow have to be deflected. Second, the pervert will eventually figure out what happened to his mother, but will he go to the police with his suspicions, or will he use his knowledge to blackmail the little girl for sexual favors? The two young kids will band together to find a way to deal with these matters, and in the process they will become lovers.

A unique element of this film is that Jodie Foster is shown undressing to go to bed with the boy. 13-year-old Jodie did not do the nude scene, but it looks seamless because it was performed by her look-alike sister Connie, age 21, who also did some body doubling for Jodie in Taxi Driver.

This is quite a good film in the manner of Hitchcock, and has been undeservedly forgotten. Jodie's performance is uncanny for someone her age; Scott Jacoby (who was actually 19 when the film was made) is likeable and sympathetic as her accomplice; and Martin Sheen is suitably creepy as the child molester. Cast in the part of the landlady was Alexis Smith, in her fifties here, but once one of the great screen sirens of the 1940s, a legendary beauty from British Columbia, and Errol Flynn's statuesque co-star in the 1942 biopic of the boxer Gentleman Jim Corbett, which was filmed when she was only twenty. Alexis had been in virtual retirement in the sixties, but made a comeback in 1972 to win a Tony as the star of a Broadway musical, and to go on from there to a second film career. Her union with Craig Stevens, TV's Peter Gunn, was one of the rare successful marriages in showbiz. They were together for nearly 50 years, from the time Alexis was 23 until her death at 72 in 1993.

The film is not only performed well, but has an excellent little script which reveals its secrets at just about the right speed, maintains an aura of suspense, and even includes a few moments of high tension. The author, Laird Koenig, adapted the screenplay from his own novel. Apart from this, his most noteworthy success was the screenplay for Red Sun, the offbeat Western with Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune

Connie Foster (zipped .avi)

Sample Captures:



American Pie presents The Naked Mile (2006)

OK, let's get this out of the way. Placing American Pie in the title is a shameless rip-off. This is just a generic youthploitation film. The two lead characters are an innocent high school senior and his rowdy college-aged cousin. The only two connections to the American Pie films are that they are both named Stifler, and that they run into Jim's dad (Eugene Levy, milking the role for every paycheck he can get.) Levy's character makes some references to things which took place in the earlier films, but the connections are perfunctory and unnecessary. The references have been cobbled in clumsily just so the distributors can profit from the titular connection to the familiar and beloved franchise. To be blunt, it's branded "American Pie" because the investors think that will sell more DVDs.

Enough of that.  You probably already knew all that, didn't you?

The bottom line is that I didn't care about that because the film is fun to watch. I enjoyed it far more than Band Camp, its predecessor in the American Pie straight-to-disc brand extensions. It is absolutely filled with gorgeous naked women, including three of the central characters. The famous "Naked Mile" itself takes up ten minutes of screen time, and the filmmakers inserted naked chicks every place where it was even remotely conceivable. Talk about gratuitous nudity! At one point three high school girls are talking. This conversation could take place anywhere, and has nothing to do with physical education class, but is set in the locker room in order to show a beautiful and well-stacked extra walking by stark naked. Right on!

There are also the usual comic set pieces one would expect from a raunchy youthploitation comedy. There are various bodily fluids being sprayed inappropriately. There's a drinking contest, a hard-on maintenance contest,  and an intramural football game against a rival fraternity which consists entirely of little people. There are several fun things about the kids' rivalry with the dwarves. First of all, the little men are all obnoxious and totally unsympathetic. Second, the main characters lose the game to the vertically challenged grid stars. In fact, not only do the little guys win the football game, but they also steal some women from our heroes, and then beat one of the Stiflers to a pulp! The fact that the little guys are arrogant and surly allows the other college guys to go nuts with politically incorrect insults for them, and they are constantly being referred to in such terms as "the Lollipop Guild" and "those Oompa-Loompa motherfuckers." And for the ultimate in political incorrectness, wait until you see how the rowdy Stifler cousin finally gets revenge against the evil head dwarf! There are several other funny scenes as well.

The core of the film is a sentimental teen love story about a boyfriend and girlfriend who are both virgins. He's ready to end that. His virginity is particularly embarrassing for him since (1) every single person in high school knows about it; and (2) he's a Stifler, the only wuss in the entire Stifler family. The kid is just not Stifler material, as illustrated in the following:

I think the innocent love story plays out OK. It's not highly original, but it has a few good touches which I won't spoil for you, and it gives the film some tender moments which offer a pleasant relief from the drunken fraternity hijinks. It also gives the film some characters to act as an anchor for our point of view. The rowdy Stifler cousin provides the fun, but he's not vulnerable, so the nice-guy Stifler cousin stands in for "Jim" and goes for our hearts. And that's OK by me. The genre kind of demands it, the franchise absolutely demands it, and the script made an effort to make it entertaining.

From the foregoing, it should be obvious to you whether you would enjoy this film. It's obviously not targeted at the PBS audience, and you will not be asked to prove Mensa membership in order to rent the disc, but all in all, I found it a very easy watch, with plenty of out-of-control juvenile raunch, politically incorrect and sophomoric humor, and dozens of naked beauties. My kind of guilty pleasure film!

We've had many other film clips from this movie in the past two weeks, so I concentrated on the actual running of the naked mile (Zipped .avi). VERY long clip. 170 meg. 10 minutes of "running" time, so to speak.

For the captures, Dann and Mr Skin covered the minor characters very comprehensively (see Dann's section and Catch o' the Day), so I stayed with the three stars.

Candace Kroslak



Angel Lewis



Jacyln Smith





  • Immoral Tales: Part 4 in a series of 4 film clips from Walerian Borowczyk's famous multi-story milestone in the history of Euro-sleaze. Here's Paloma Picasso and Pascale Christophe (Zipped avi)

  • This is fascinating. There is no nudity, but you'll see lots of footage of a very young, pre-fame Jennifer Aniston in a bikini (zipped .avi), performing in a lampoon of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit videos. (Zipped .avi.) It's a bit disorienting, because Aniston doesn't use her distinctive natural voice, and one is not used to hearing her perform with a character voice.




Balloting is finished

  • See the numerical results here.

  • See the pictorial here.




Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.





Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Amityville Dollhouse (1996)

Amityville Dollhouse (1996) is a dubious member of the Amityville franchise, since the evil enemy is not a house at all, but a doll house. It is mistakenly called Amityville Dollhouse: Evil Never Dies at IMDb, possibly because the only person ever to see it didn't understand than Evil Never Dies was a tag line.

 If you think about it, it is also an anthem for these needless sequels.

A family is moving into a new house dad built from scratch, other than using an existing fireplace from the old house, and a shed in back. In that shed he finds a dollhouse, an exact replica of the Long Island house made famous in the original Amityville Horror.

Critics were not at all kind. I won't be either. Let's see, the teenaged son has a girlfriend (Lisa Robin Kelly) to show tits, the dollhouse has demons, the nerdish stepson has a vindictive ghost father, and the man of the house has a new age biker/psychic brother-in-law, so we have all the ingredients necessary to waste 93 minutes with this pointless movie. Granted, the film offers two breasts and one or two creepy moments, but a dollhouse villain is just a little too much of a stretch for me, especially since the human characters were so unappealing that I was rooting for the dollhouse, since it was the most personable character in the film.

This is a low D.

IMDb has this was over-rated at 3.3.



Lisa Robin Kelly








Seasons greetings from this side of the Pacific. My stocking-stuffer: four film clips and some captures.


From E!'s Naked Wild On, there are two zipped .avi movies (1, 2) of a very naked  Victoria Silvstedt

... not that this is very unusual.



3 Needles


In an amazing piece of casting, Chloe Sevigny plays a nun in 3  Needles (2005). She's almost naked with just the slightest hint of bush. (Zipped .avi)


We also have a topless stripper. (Zipped .avi)



Junction Boys


No visible nudity in Junction Boys (2002).  Stephanie Braniff is topless but facing the wrong way


Fleur McMenamin, who plays a prostitute, is down to her 1940s-style underwear.



Cold Light


Katia M Porgeirsdottir is a naked artists' model in the Icelandic  movie Cold Light aka Kaldaljós (2004).


Ruth Olafsottir is also naked but not much is visible.



The Son's Room


The Son's Room aka La Stanza del filio (2001) is an Italian/French  film. Laura Morante is topless.



Book of Love


No nudity in Book of Love (2004) but Frances O'Connor comes close when pulling up her knickers.



The Redeemer


The Redeemer aka Redentor (2004) is a Brazilian film.  No nudity but Camila Pitanga looks lovely in a brief bikini

and there are some other dancers wearing very little.



Laura Smiles


Some pokies by Petra Wright in Laura Smiles (2006).



Ruby Jean and Joe


Rebekah Johnson is the Ruby Jean in Ruby Jean and Joe (1996). We see a very brief view of her butt as she takes a shower.



Lords of Dogtown


I notice America Ferrera has gone on to bigger things since we received a very nice view of her cleavage in Lords of Dogtown (2005).


Also in the film, Rebecca De Mornay is showing her age and pokies.





No nudity in Stealth (2005) but Jessica Biel fills out a bikini very nicely.


Caroline de Souza and Alexandra Davies provide some eye candy.



Urban Legends - Bloody Mary


No nudity in Urban Legends - Bloody Mary (2005) just lots of girls  scantily dressed. The girls are Audra Lea Keener

 Ann Poll (a bit of see-through)


Olesya Rulin


Kate Mara


 and Haley McCormick.



Insatiable Needs


Concluding with some soft core, we have Insatiable Needs (2005). Some bush shown by Angela Davies


and the rest show everything else: Susan Hale


Jezebelle Bond


and August.



Hotel Erotica - Up All Night


In this episode of Hotel Erotica called Up All Night (2003), we have a very naked Ananda Saint James

 Emily Webster shows breasts.









Aqui ... la última película del especial de Eloy de la Iglesia, "Navajeros" (1980):

Sinopsis: José Manuel Gómez Perales, alias "El Jaro", vive solo en Madrid, sin más compañía que la de su banda y sus "novias". Un día conoce a Mercedes, una prostituta de origen mejicano. Mercedes se enamora de él y le ofrece su casa con el fin de apartarle de su vida delictiva. Jaro acepta el refugio, pero sigue dando "palos" con su banda. Un día conoce a Toñi, una adolescente drogadicta de la que se enamora. (

¿Hay algun problema con las capturas de "Colegas"? porque solo has publicado las de Rosario Flores y no las de Barbara Moya.



Here's the last film in my Eloy de la Iglesia series:

  "Navajeros" (1980)

A juvenile delinquent  nicknamed El Jaro lives alone in Madrid, with no more companionship than his gang and his temporary "fiancées." One day he meets Mercedes, a Mexican prostitute who falls in love with him and asks him to move in, hoping to woo him from his criminal life. He accepts her offer, but continues to hang out with his gang. One day he meets an adolescent drug addict named Toni and falls in love.

From IMDb:

"A very entertaining film packed with spectacular realistic action, sex, drugs and a smashing sound-track. The Quinqui genre in Spain is similar to the Blaxplotaition films from the 70's in America. 'Navajeros' is one of the best Quinqui movies. The fans of Blaxplotaition will like this film and others from this genre that no longer lives."




Isela Vega



Scoop's note: OOPS! The following pictures of Barbara Moya go with yesterday's Flautista column. My bad.


Barbara Moya








Today we look at another of the runner ups in the chase for the best nude scene of 2006.

Kyra Segwick looked extremely sexy in "Loverboy." Great legs and soapy tits.

Well I'm off to hang my stocking as I think I hear something on my rooftop.





Dann reports on The Naked Mile:

If there were an Academy Award for most nudity, American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile would definitely be a contender. This thing was LOADED with nudity, and it was also funny and true to the philosophy of the American Pie series: crude outrageous humor and beautiful women.

The movie continues the Stifler legend, this time focusing on Erik Stifler, the younger cousin of Matt and Steve (from the first three flicks). Erik is still a virgin, honoring the wishes of his two-year girlfriend, who is also a virgin. Pressure starts to build though, when he and two friends visit the college they'll attend next year, to watch the Naked Mile, a one-mile nude run across campus. Older cousin Adam  Stifler, already a party legend on campus, adds to the pressure as he tries to get his younger cousin laid.

To make things worse (or better), Erik's girlfriend, realizing how pressured he is to have sex, and not wanting to lose him, gives him a "guilt-free pass" for the weekend. When Erik meets beautiful co-ed Brandy (Candace Kroslak), it looks like he may quickly use the pass.

Like all the other American Pies, this thing is funny, with tons of rude and crude humor. It's plenty of fun even without the nudity, but the nudity is amazing; there's just an unbelievable amount especially during the naked mile sequence, so even if you don't like the comedy, you'll damn sure like all the bare bodies. This one gets two tits up .... er, thumbs up as a must-see for celeb nudity fans.

A note about the collages. Normally, I'd collage each named actress, then do a "women of" collage for all the others, however, this thing is FILLED with unidentified nude ladies appearing in scenes that the identified actresses appeared in, so for this, I just included unidentified actresses in the scenes with the named actresses. It may be a tad confusing, but it worked out better that way. Candace, Jaclyn, and Angel appeared together naked in a couple scenes, so there I took different frames for all three collages.



Candace Kroslak Angel Lewis Jaclyn A Smith
Michelle Cormier and Stephany Sexton Jesse Schram Alyssa Pallet





Notes and collages

The Supernatural Ladies



Alice Krige in

 Ghost Story


...I highly recommend this film about a vengeful ghost; it's very human in terms of the agony of living with a wrongful death...









Clerks 2 (2006)

The movie starts ten years after the incidents depicted in Clerks.

The sequel begins with an event that destroys virtually everything the picture's protagonists have grown to know over that decade: a fire consuming the convenience and video stores which employed Dante Hicks (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson).  Flash forward a bit, and they find themselves employed – in full color – at a  Mooby's fast food joint, along with a Transformers-loving fry cook (Trevor Fehrman) who is constantly tormented by Randal, and a curvy manager (Rosario Dawson).  Yes, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (writer/director Kevin Smith) return to prop themselves against whatever edifice Dante and Randal decide to call an employer.

The bulk of Clerks II is set during Dante's last day at Mooby's, and in New Jersey as well.  He and his fiancée (Jennifer Schwalbach – director Smith's real-life wife) are packed up and ready to move to Florida, where Dante will be hooked up with a house and a job.

Jeff Anderson is the star and stealer of the film.  Anderson's garbage-mouthed utterances are the highlight and driving force of the film. His performance grows with each scene as he and the rest of the characters gradually develop into three dimensional human beings.


Rosario Dawson




Jennifer Schwalbach-Smith











Michelle Cormier in The Naked Mile



Stephany Sexton in The Naked Mile



Alyssa Pallett in The Naked Mile