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The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane (1976)
Jodie Foster attracted the world's attention at age 13 when
she delivered two 1976 two performances that seemed to be channeling a 30-year-
old woman into her childlike body. The more famous of the two is Martin
Scorsese's Taxi Driver, in which both Jodie Foster and DeNiro would deliver
performances which would soon be regarded as iconic, and are now considered
among the most memorable of the century. The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane
was Jodie's other precocious performance. The two roles demonstrate quite a
range of acting ability from Foster because, though both characters seem old
beyond their years, the Taxi Driver character was a tough street urchin, while
this one is a refined lady, daughter of a poet, with al the physical and vocal
mannerisms of the upper crust. It can be eerie to watch this film because her
voice and inflections seem identical to the grown Jodie we see acting today in
films like Inside Man, yet the words are coming out of a child's mouth.
The little girl of the title has recently moved to a small
American town from England. She lives in a big house, rented for three years
pre-paid, with a mysterious father whom nobody has ever seen. Visitors drop by,
but there is always some reason why father can't come down for tea. The story
focuses on four of those visitors: (1) a nosy landlady (2) the landlady's
perverted son, played by a young Martin Sheen (3) a kindly local sheriff (4) a
handicapped boy who will be come to be little girl's co-conspirator. It's
obvious to the visitors that something is fishy, and it's also obvious to the
audience that the father is not really available, but the little girl
manipulates people just enough to avoid admitting that father doesn't exist.
The plot takes a dramatic twist one day when the nosy
landlady accidentally kills herself by falling while poking around the basement.
The little girl realizes that she has to do something drastic, because a police
investigation will certainly reveal that her father doesn't exist, and will also
bring out some even more unpleasant secrets. She enlists the assistance of the
young dreamer in disposing of the body and, when she takes him entirely into her
trust, their conversations become the screenwriting device which allows us to
penetrate her veil of secrecy.
There are still two other matters to be attended to. First,
the police officer has to pursue the case of the missing landlady, so his
curiosity will somehow have to be deflected. Second, the pervert will eventually
figure out what happened to his mother, but will he go to the police with his
suspicions, or will he use his knowledge to blackmail the little girl for sexual
favors? The two young kids will band together to find a way to deal with these
matters, and in the process they will become lovers.
A unique element of this film is that Jodie Foster is shown
undressing to go to bed with the boy. 13-year-old Jodie did not do the nude
scene, but it looks seamless because it was performed by her look-alike sister
Connie, age 21, who also did some body doubling for Jodie in Taxi Driver.
This is quite a good film in the manner of Hitchcock, and has
been undeservedly forgotten. Jodie's performance is uncanny for someone her age;
Scott Jacoby (who was actually 19 when the film was made) is likeable and
sympathetic as her accomplice; and Martin Sheen is suitably creepy as the child
molester. Cast in the part of the landlady was Alexis Smith, in her fifties
here, but once one of the great screen sirens of the 1940s, a legendary beauty
from British Columbia, and Errol Flynn's statuesque co-star in the 1942 biopic
of the boxer Gentleman Jim Corbett, which was filmed when she was only twenty.
Alexis had been in virtual retirement in the sixties, but made a comeback in
1972 to win a Tony as the star of a Broadway musical, and to go on from there to
a second film career. Her union with Craig Stevens, TV's Peter Gunn, was one of
the rare successful marriages in showbiz. They were together for nearly 50
years, from the time Alexis was 23 until her death at 72 in 1993.
The film is not only performed well, but has an excellent
little script which reveals its secrets at just about the right speed, maintains
an aura of suspense, and even includes a few moments of high tension. The
author, Laird Koenig, adapted the screenplay from his own novel. Apart from
this, his most noteworthy success was the screenplay for Red Sun, the offbeat
Western with Charles Bronson and Toshiro Mifune
Connie Foster (zipped
.avi)
Sample Captures:
American Pie presents The Naked Mile (2006)
OK, let's get this out of the way. Placing American Pie in
the title is a shameless rip-off. This is just a generic youthploitation film.
The two lead characters are an innocent high school senior and his rowdy
college-aged cousin. The only two connections to the American Pie films are
that they are both named Stifler, and that they run into Jim's dad (Eugene
Levy, milking the role for every paycheck he can get.) Levy's character makes
some references to things which took place in the earlier films, but the
connections are perfunctory and unnecessary. The references have been cobbled
in clumsily just so the distributors can profit from the titular connection to
the familiar and beloved franchise. To be blunt, it's branded "American Pie"
because the investors think that will sell more DVDs.
Enough of that. You probably already knew all that,
didn't you?
The bottom line is that I didn't care about that because
the film is fun to watch. I enjoyed it far more than Band Camp, its
predecessor in the American Pie straight-to-disc brand extensions. It is
absolutely filled with gorgeous naked women, including three of the central
characters. The famous "Naked Mile" itself takes up ten minutes of screen
time, and the filmmakers inserted naked chicks every place where it was even
remotely conceivable. Talk about gratuitous nudity! At one point three high
school girls are talking. This conversation could take place anywhere, and has
nothing to do with physical education class, but is set in the locker room in
order to show a beautiful and well-stacked extra walking by stark naked. Right
on!
There are also the usual comic set pieces one would expect
from a raunchy youthploitation comedy. There are various bodily fluids being
sprayed inappropriately. There's a drinking contest, a hard-on maintenance
contest, and an intramural football game against a rival fraternity
which consists entirely of little people. There are several fun things about
the kids' rivalry with the dwarves. First of all, the little men are all
obnoxious and totally unsympathetic. Second, the main characters lose the game
to the vertically challenged grid stars. In fact, not only do the little guys
win the football game, but they also steal some women from our heroes, and
then beat one of the Stiflers to a pulp! The fact that the little guys are
arrogant and surly allows the other college guys to go nuts with politically
incorrect insults for them, and they are constantly being referred to in such
terms as "the Lollipop Guild" and "those Oompa-Loompa motherfuckers." And for
the ultimate in political incorrectness, wait until you see how the rowdy
Stifler cousin finally gets revenge against the evil head dwarf! There are
several other funny scenes as well.
The core of the film is a sentimental teen love story about
a boyfriend and girlfriend who are both virgins. He's ready to end that. His
virginity is particularly embarrassing for him since (1) every single person
in high school knows about it; and (2) he's a Stifler, the only wuss in the
entire Stifler family. The kid is just not Stifler material, as illustrated in
the following:
I think the innocent love story plays out OK. It's not
highly original, but it has a few good touches which I won't spoil for you,
and it gives the film some tender moments which offer a pleasant relief from
the drunken fraternity hijinks. It also gives the film some characters to act
as an anchor for our point of view. The rowdy Stifler cousin provides the fun,
but he's not vulnerable, so the nice-guy Stifler cousin stands in for "Jim"
and goes for our hearts. And that's OK by me. The genre kind of demands it,
the franchise absolutely demands it, and the script made an effort to make it
entertaining.
From the foregoing, it should be obvious to you whether you
would enjoy this film. It's obviously not targeted at the PBS audience, and
you will not be asked to prove Mensa membership in order to rent the disc, but
all in all, I found it a very easy watch, with plenty of out-of-control
juvenile raunch, politically incorrect and sophomoric humor, and dozens of
naked beauties. My kind of guilty pleasure film!
We've had many other film clips from this movie in the past
two weeks, so I concentrated on the actual running of the naked mile (Zipped
.avi). VERY long clip. 170 meg. 10 minutes of "running" time, so to speak.
For the captures, Dann and Mr Skin covered the minor
characters very comprehensively (see Dann's section and Catch o' the Day), so
I stayed with the three stars.
THIRD PARTY VIDEOS:
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Immoral Tales: Part 4 in a series of 4 film clips from Walerian Borowczyk's famous multi-story milestone in the history of Euro-sleaze.
Here's Paloma Picasso and
Pascale Christophe (Zipped
avi)
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This is fascinating. There is no nudity, but you'll see lots of
footage of a very young, pre-fame Jennifer Aniston
in a bikini (zipped .avi), performing in a lampoon of the Sports Illustrated
swimsuit videos. (Zipped
.avi.) It's a bit disorienting, because Aniston doesn't use her distinctive
natural voice, and one is not used to hearing her perform with a character
voice.
BEST NUDE SCENES of 2006:
Balloting is finished
OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Amityville Dollhouse (1996)
Amityville Dollhouse (1996) is a dubious member of the Amityville
franchise, since the evil enemy is not a house at all, but a doll house. It is
mistakenly called Amityville Dollhouse: Evil Never Dies at IMDb, possibly
because the only person ever to see it didn't understand than Evil Never Dies
was a tag line.
If you think about it, it is also an anthem for these needless
sequels.
A family is moving into a new house dad built from scratch, other than
using an existing fireplace from the old house, and a shed in back. In that
shed he finds a dollhouse, an exact replica of the Long Island house made
famous in the original Amityville Horror.
Critics were not at all kind. I won't be either. Let's see, the teenaged
son has a girlfriend (Lisa Robin Kelly) to show tits, the dollhouse has
demons, the nerdish stepson has a vindictive ghost father, and the man of the
house has a new age biker/psychic brother-in-law, so we have all the
ingredients necessary to waste 93 minutes with this pointless movie. Granted,
the film offers two breasts and one or two creepy moments, but a dollhouse
villain is just a little too much of a stretch for me, especially since the
human characters were so unappealing that I was rooting for the dollhouse,
since it was the most personable character in the film.
This is a low D.
IMDb has this was over-rated at 3.3.
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Seasons greetings from this side of the Pacific. My
stocking-stuffer: four film clips and some captures.
From E!'s Naked Wild On, there are two zipped .avi movies (1,
2) of a very naked
Victoria Silvstedt
... not that this is very unusual.
3 Needles
In an amazing piece of casting, Chloe Sevigny
plays a nun in 3 Needles (2005). She's almost naked with just the
slightest hint of bush. (Zipped .avi)
We also have a topless stripper. (Zipped
.avi)
Junction Boys
No visible nudity in Junction Boys (2002).
Stephanie Braniff is topless but facing the wrong way
Fleur McMenamin, who plays a prostitute, is down
to her 1940s-style underwear.
Cold Light
Katia M Porgeirsdottir is a naked artists' model
in the Icelandic movie Cold Light aka Kaldaljós (2004).
Ruth Olafsottir is also naked but not much is
visible.
The Son's Room
The Son's Room aka La Stanza del filio (2001) is an Italian/French
film. Laura Morante is topless.
Book of Love
No nudity in Book of Love (2004) but Frances O'Connor
comes close when pulling up her knickers.
The Redeemer
The Redeemer aka Redentor (2004) is a Brazilian film. No nudity but
Camila Pitanga looks lovely in a brief bikini
and there are some other dancers wearing very little.
Laura Smiles
Some pokies by Petra Wright in Laura Smiles
(2006).
Ruby Jean and Joe
Rebekah Johnson is the Ruby Jean in Ruby Jean
and Joe (1996). We see a very brief view of her butt as she takes a shower.
Lords of Dogtown
I notice America Ferrera has gone on to bigger
things since we received a very nice view of her cleavage in Lords of Dogtown
(2005).
Also in the film, Rebecca De Mornay is showing
her age and pokies.
Stealth
No nudity in Stealth (2005) but Jessica Biel
fills out a bikini very nicely.
Caroline de Souza and
Alexandra Davies provide some eye candy.
Urban Legends - Bloody Mary
No nudity in Urban Legends - Bloody Mary (2005) just lots of girls
scantily dressed. The girls are Audra Lea Keener
Ann Poll (a bit of see-through)
Olesya Rulin
Kate Mara
and Haley McCormick.
Insatiable Needs
Concluding with some soft core, we have Insatiable Needs (2005). Some bush
shown by Angela Davies
and the rest show everything else: Susan Hale
Chloe
Jezebelle Bond
Dee
and August.
Hotel Erotica - Up All Night
In this episode of Hotel Erotica called Up All Night (2003), we have a very
naked Ananda Saint James
Emily Webster shows breasts.
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Español
Aqui ... la última película del especial de Eloy de la
Iglesia, "Navajeros" (1980):
Sinopsis: José Manuel Gómez Perales, alias "El Jaro", vive solo en Madrid,
sin más compañía que la de su banda y sus "novias". Un día conoce a
Mercedes, una prostituta de origen mejicano. Mercedes se enamora de él y
le ofrece su casa con el fin de apartarle de su vida delictiva. Jaro
acepta el refugio, pero sigue dando "palos" con su banda. Un día conoce a
Toñi, una adolescente drogadicta de la que se enamora. (FILMAFFINITY.com)
¿Hay algun problema con las capturas de "Colegas"? porque solo has
publicado las de Rosario Flores y no las de Barbara Moya.
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English
Here's the last film in my Eloy de la Iglesia series:
"Navajeros" (1980)
A juvenile delinquent nicknamed El Jaro lives alone in Madrid,
with no more companionship than his gang and his temporary "fiancées." One
day he meets Mercedes, a Mexican prostitute who falls in love with him and
asks him to move in, hoping to woo him from his criminal life. He accepts
her offer, but continues to hang out with his gang. One day he meets an
adolescent drug addict named Toni and falls in love.
From IMDb:
"A very entertaining film packed with spectacular realistic action,
sex, drugs and a smashing sound-track. The Quinqui genre in Spain is
similar to the Blaxplotaition films from the 70's in America. 'Navajeros'
is one of the best Quinqui movies. The fans of Blaxplotaition will like
this film and others from this genre that no longer lives."
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Scoop's note: OOPS! The following pictures of Barbara Moya go with
yesterday's Flautista column. My bad.
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Dann reports on The Naked Mile:
If there were an Academy Award for most nudity, American Pie
Presents: The Naked Mile would definitely be a contender. This thing
was LOADED with nudity, and it was also funny and true to the philosophy
of the American Pie series: crude outrageous humor and beautiful women.
The movie continues the Stifler legend, this time focusing on Erik
Stifler, the younger cousin of Matt and Steve (from the first three
flicks). Erik is still a virgin, honoring the wishes of his two-year
girlfriend, who is also a virgin. Pressure starts to build though, when he
and two friends visit the college they'll attend next year, to watch the
Naked Mile, a one-mile nude run across campus. Older cousin Adam
Stifler, already
a party legend on campus, adds to the pressure as he tries to get his
younger cousin laid.
To make things worse (or better), Erik's girlfriend, realizing how
pressured he is to have sex, and not wanting to lose him, gives him a
"guilt-free pass" for the weekend. When Erik meets beautiful co-ed Brandy
(Candace Kroslak), it looks like he may quickly use the pass.
Like all the other American Pies, this thing is funny, with tons of
rude and crude humor. It's plenty of fun even without the nudity, but the
nudity is amazing; there's just an unbelievable amount especially during
the naked mile sequence, so even if you don't like the comedy, you'll damn
sure like all the bare bodies. This one gets two tits up .... er, thumbs
up as a must-see for celeb nudity fans.
A note about the collages. Normally, I'd collage each named actress,
then do a "women of" collage for all the others, however, this thing is
FILLED with unidentified nude ladies appearing in scenes that the
identified actresses appeared in, so for this, I just included
unidentified actresses in the scenes with the named actresses. It may be a
tad confusing, but it worked out better that way. Candace,
Jaclyn, and Angel appeared together naked in a couple scenes,
so there I took different frames for all three collages.
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Candace Kroslak |
Angel Lewis |
Jaclyn A Smith |
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Michelle Cormier and Stephany Sexton |
Jesse Schram |
Alyssa Pallet |
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Notes and collages
The Supernatural Ladies
...I highly recommend this film about a vengeful ghost; it's very human
in terms of the agony of living with a wrongful death...
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Clerks 2 (2006)
The movie starts ten years after the incidents depicted in Clerks.
The sequel begins with an event that destroys virtually everything
the picture's protagonists have grown to know over that decade: a fire
consuming the convenience and video stores which employed Dante Hicks
(Brian O'Halloran) and Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson). Flash forward a
bit, and they find themselves employed – in full color – at a
Mooby's fast food joint, along with a Transformers-loving fry cook
(Trevor Fehrman) who is constantly tormented by Randal, and a curvy
manager (Rosario Dawson). Yes, Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob
(writer/director Kevin Smith) return to prop themselves against
whatever edifice Dante and Randal decide to call an employer.
The bulk of Clerks II is set during Dante's last day at Mooby's, and
in New Jersey as well. He and his fiancée (Jennifer Schwalbach –
director Smith's real-life wife) are packed up and ready to move to
Florida, where Dante will be hooked up with a house and a job.
Jeff Anderson is the star and stealer of the film. Anderson's
garbage-mouthed utterances are the highlight and driving force of the
film. His performance grows with each scene as he and the rest of the
characters gradually develop into three dimensional human beings.
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Michelle Cormier in The Naked Mile
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Stephany Sexton in The Naked Mile
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Alyssa Pallett in The Naked Mile
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