"The Story of Joanna"

The Story of Joanna (1975) is an absolute classic of hard core porn. The following IMDb comment is very well written and worth repeating:

Porn's finest S&M love story shows no signs of aging, 14 January 2000

Author: Dries Vermeulen (gclaey1-2) from Brugge,Belgium

"Gerard Damiano, he who gave the world both Deep Throat and the original Devil in Miss Jones, wanted to film the scandalous French erotic novel Story of O in the worst possible way but didn't want to go to the trouble of acquiring the rights to do so Instead,he wrote an original screenplay based in part on the book,pretty much as he had adapted Sartre's No Exit for Miss Jones,adding a moral (believe it or not) subtext to the whole story. Hauntingly sad-eyed Terri Hall,a former dancer with the Stuttgart Ballet (a skill which served her well here as she performs an exquisite routine in the nude at one point),plays the titular Joanna,an innocent debutante singled out by wealthy womanizer Jason (the always intriguing Jamie Gillis) for degradation. As any long suffering literary heroine worth her salt,Joanna takes it all on the chin (trust me,no pun intended...) in the name of love. There is method to Jason's madness however when we find out that he is dying of a mysterious disease and,as a final grand gesture, wants to be killed by someone who loves him above all else. Setting the story in some vague past (there are hints that these could be either the '20s or '30s yet nothing specific),Damiano weaves a monumentally gloomy melodrama that just happens to contain a considerable number of explicit sex scenes,some of them quite nasty (Joanna receiving a whipping across the thighs in a mirrored room) yet a lot of them also unexpectedly tender,choreographed to resemble sacred rituals. Gorgeously photographed and memorably scored with a mix of real classical music and new tracks emulating well known classical favorites,this stands not only as one of Damiano's finest films but quite simply as one of the very best adult films ever made. "

While I completely understand the above comments, I might point out that this film is so artsy as to be completely pretentious and boring beyond belief. Entirely set to classical music, it includes vaginal. anal and oral sex, bondage, whipping, degradation, shaving, fisting, girl/girl, triple penetration, and, perhaps most startling, a homosexual male blow job. Obviously, we see all of Hall's body parts. Damiano is certainly one of the pioneers of hard core, and this is an important film that every adult cinema history buff will want. Enjoying it is quite another thing. The transfer is as bad as I have seen, clearly due to heavily damaged source material. Considering the condition of the video, and the fact that this is so highly stylized as to lack all heat and passion, I will have to give it a C-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Terri Hall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
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    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS


    Three Blind Mice (2003)

    When I saw Johnny Moronic's caps of Emilia Fox in yesterday's Fun House, I didn't remember these scenes at all, although I had seen the film about 6 months ago. To be honest this flick didn't make much sense and even less of an impression on me. So I took my DVD and fast-forwarded through the movie. I had almost given up all hope when after 69 minutes the first exposure by Emilia Fox occurred. The last time she showed some skin was around 77 minutes into the film.
    So I decided that these 4 clips from the Three Blind Mice might make a nice addition to yesterday's caps. Clips 1 and 2 are unsharp because they're seen on someone's computer screen in the film.
    DivX Clips 3 and 4 look rather dark on my computer but when I burnt them on a CD-R and put it in my standalone DVD player they looked just fine, very close to the real DVD. This is rather strange.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Aria Giovanni is one of the busier former Pets. She caught the eye of Andrew Blake a few years ago and has made several videos with him. Mr. Blake is known for making adult movies without the acts that most folk think of when they hear the words, "adult movies." Not much humping, a lot of girls doing girls but in ways that are just a small step up (or down, depending on your point of view) from Skinemax features. That's what you get with Justine (2002): girls doing all manner of things with other girls.

    Justine is also the name of the actress (sic) who is in most of this movie (double sic). She's a babe.. too scrawny for my tastes, but she sports a come-on-to-my-house look that would be just a tad difficult to resist if you encountered her in real life.

    Aria shows up only here and there. And with her most of the time is internet model Erica Rose Campbell-- I know about the internet part because when I Googled the gal up popped about 6000 sites with about 60,000 images of her. Erica has a shape that meets and excedes the standards set by Aria. In the scene I capped the two of them spend a fair bit o' time rubbing certain body parts together... and they were able to do it while standing in different rooms. Okay, that's a lie. But take a look at collages 1-3 and see what I mean.

    Collage 4, 6 and 7 are of Aria by her lonesome. The last two show some furry B. Number 6 is the odd one: it's a scene in which Erica gives bad little Aria a good ol' spanking. Again, not my particular taste but I figure some of my fellow Funhouse readers might wanna get the disk for that scene alone.

    And then there is a single collage of Erica alone. She is not what anyone I know would call beautiful of face. But that form? You don't have to be a typical American man to appreciate what Erica brings to the table.

    There are many more scenes in this disk... of Justine and a couple of other slim models named Elle Williams and Emily Marilyn. But I gotta tell ya-- I was bored to tears with it all. Same with anyone else who took a gander at Justine. Haven't a clue what market Mr. Andrews is aiming for. but around the shop Justine was a clean miss.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    First up from the Ghost today...the final installment of his visual review of the Skinemax movie "Exposed" (2003). Today's batch features B-movie regular Julia (Julie) Kruis gettin' nekkid and gettin' it on...a lot. Toplessness everywhere, plus frontal nudity in links 9, 21, 22, 23, 27, 28 and 38.

    Today's video clips are from the direct-to-vid sequel, "Species III". Zipped .wmvs as usual. Click here to read the review featuring comment by Scoop and Tuna.

    • Amelia Cooke clip #1. Toplessness.
    • Amelia Cooke clip #2. Topless and being seriously pounded while gettin' it on in a public restroom.
    • Amelia Cooke clip #3, toplessness, brief (but dark) frontal nudity and baring plenty of bum as she walks down a hallway nekkid.

    • Sunny Mabrey, toplessness and rear brief views in a few clips from one scene. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Sunny Mabrey, more breast exposure in two different scenes. (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Young Doctors in Love"
    OK, granted, on one level, this 1982 comedy is lame, campy, kind of dumb, and very silly. It's also very, very funny, and a great spoof of soap operas, General Hospital and it's ilk particularly. It also has some great cameos by soap stars, some of whom are still around even 20 years later.

    The plot is in a big-city hospital. It's a trip, boys and girls, and a lot of fun to watch.

    Nikki Cox
    Vanessa Marcil

    DeadLamb 'caps of two of the "Las Vegas" ladies showing a whole mess of cleavage.

    Lorissa McComas
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the very hard working B-babe going topless, doing some stripping, showing a thong view and even gettin' it on in scenes from "Hard As Nails" (2001).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Cookie Crumbs - The Center for Consumer Freedom, a group that fights lawsuits against the restaurant and food industry, posted a waiver on its website for anyone who plans to leave cookies out for Santa. By signing it, Santa agrees that he is already obese and will not blame you, nor ask his trial lawyer elf to sue you for not providing nutritional info, not offering healthy alternatives such as tofu bars, not warning that yummy cookies may be habit-forming, or for using Christmas lights as manipulative marketing tools to lure Santa in to overeat cookies.

  • Have you tossed your cookies yet?
  • But if you also leave him a glass of whole milk, he'll sue your ass off.
  • Santa seems like the kind of guy who'd sue you if DID leave him tofu bars.

    A Little Dab'll Screw Ya - A study by Brylcreem found a link between people's choice of hairstyle and their jobs, suggesting that our style choices may be more influenced by co-workers than we'd like to admit. For instance, men with cropped hair were more likely to have manual jobs, with 45 percent of construction workers having short-cropped hair. Those with individual 'dos tend to be entrepreneurs, such as Bill Gates and Donald Trump. And mullets are common in jobs where you're not seen by the public much, such as long distance truck drivers and DJs.

  • Especially DJs for Classic Rock stations.
  • Or maybe people who like to wear mullets can only get hired for jobs where they're never seen by the public.
  • And if you still use Brylcreem, you're probably an Elvis impersonator.
  • Donald Trump only has his hairstyle because all his yes men are afraid to tell him it looks like a dead squirrel.

    Really Contented Cows - Cows in Eastern Iowa are getting free beer, thanks to Fleck Sales, a Cedar Rapids beer distributor. They asked farmers if they'd like beer that was past its shelf date to mix with cattle feed, since it has vitamins, minerals and proteins that are good for cows. A year later, the cattle like it so much, they won't eat dry feed if it's not accompanied by beer.

  • Except in December, they're fed rum so they'll give egg nog.
  • It's also increased reproduction because after enough beer, even a cow looks hot.