"Sex and the City: Season 5"
Sex and the City: Season 5, the abbreviated 8 episode season has been released on DVD. Nudity from stars was confined to the season opener, with both Kim Cattrall and Kristin Davis showing breasts. Cynthia Nixon had a baby nursing scene, but the breasts are quite well made prosthetics.
In the final episode, Melissa Court and another actress go topless at a pool party. Even this shortened season was a long watch for me, but the occasional scene was funny. I have yet to see season three and four, but didn't feel like I had missed anything. The characters have not changed much, and the stories have a certain sameness. Also, there are too many wrinkles and crows feet on the leads for them to be young, available and irresistible, especially in close-ups. Sarah Jessica Parker was increasingly pregnant during filming, and her costumes got a little strange, even for her character. I would imagine women relate to this show more than men, as it deals mostly with feelings and relationships, and the women are always the good guys. This is a good example of a series that has gone on long enough, and I understand Season 6 will be the last. C, barely.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999):
Could it have been only four years ago that Calista Flockhart was
a big enough star to be considered for a starring role in a
prestigious Shakespearian adaptation? It seems like that must have
been the 1940s.
You'll note that the official title on the DVD box is "William
Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream". They do that so cretins
like us don't get it confused with the Mickey Spillane version.
Hell, I'm no fool, I knew it wasn't the Mickster as soon as someone
said "but soft ..." . You don't hear many "but softs" in the Mike
Hammer stories. Also, I noticed right away that nobody was wearing a
fedora, and that they called the women "m'lady" instead of "dollface".
The director relocated the story into Tuscany in the late 19th
century, which created some gimmicky uses for bicycles. The fairy
portion of the story, of course, is timeless, so it can co-exist
with any time frame. The words are Shakespeare's.
I'm not sure if the world needs another completely verbatim
interpretation of a Shakespeare play, but it grossed $16 million
dollars, which is more than I would have expected, so there are
still plenty of fans out there who appreciate a good effort, which
this is - it's breezy, relative friendly to contemporary ears, and
Unfortunately for our purposes, it was PG-13, so the nudity is
- Calista Flockhart. Mind you, I have nothing against small
breasted women. In fact, I prefer women lean and athletic. But
Calista is a bit extreme, even for my tastes. I see no sign of any
breasts at all.
- Anna Friel
- Some water-nymph
Why the hell did Gus Van Zant waste months of his life on this? In
case you have forgotten, he took the original script from Psycho and
re-made it with contemporary actors. Many of the scenes, in fact as
many as possible, were shot with the same camera set-ups as the
original, duplicated almost frame-by-frame, including the same
background music. Why bother? Beats me. Psycho may not be one of the
greatest movies ever made, but it is one of the twenty or so most
memorable, and has fully entered the consciousness of mainstream
culture. SNL does a sketch on the Norman Bates school of motel
management, and there is no need to explain the reference. Robin
Williams does "Norman, is that you?" in the granny voice, and
everyone knows exactly what he's riffing on. Given those facts, the
frame-by-frame remake seems downright gratuitous.
There is nothing
really wrong with the film as a stand-alone except that it is
old-fashioned to our eyes and ears, even with hip actors. It is
entertaining, in a way, to hear actors from the 1990s try to
negotiate the corny 1950s dialogue while trying to maintain
credibility in the characters. Some of them did quite well, like
William Macy, Julianne Moore, and Anne Heche, for example. Others,
like James LeGros and Robert Forster, didn't fare as well. Vince
Vaughn brought a different kind of spirit to Norman Bates - kind of
a giggly, affable outsider vibe which imparted his own spin on the
role. That was undoubtedly an excellent idea, rather than simply
attempting to mimic Tony Perkins, whose performance is a screen
classic. (Vaughn also added some obvious masturbation to the
For our purposes, I suppose the best thing about the remake is
that the shower scene actually has some visible nudity, including a
surprisingly graphic procto-cam shot of Anne Heche. I can't recall
many other noteworthy, mainstream actresses who have spread their
cheeks on camera, so I guess that's something to remember the film
by. Otherwise, I just don't see any reason for this film to exist.
Reality Check (2002)
I haven't seen this film. Very few people have. But I made these
collages from Riobro's excellent .avi, and they are (I think) every
bit the equal of DVD quality. And it's nice to see Peldon without
the cowbells hanging from her boobs.
- We almost forgot....HAPPY FESTIVUS EVERYBODY!Technically it was yesterday. But seriously, everyday should be Festivus!
- AT LAST! FESTIVUS GREETING CARDS!
Barry Zito checks out Leeann Tweeden during Nutcracker rehearsal.
Testicle Theater presents an all-testicle adaptation of The Empire
ABC NEWS picks the weird stories of the year.
JoBlo's Paramount Preview for 2004.
Simply Scripts has added the final production draft to Big Fish.
DVDs single-handedly float the entire film industry. :
"DVDs aren't ancillary income; they essentially keep studios
afloat. Only one in 10 features recoups its costs from domestic
box office; four in 10 recoup after all revenues come in ---
foreign B.O., TV and DVD. "
FreakingNews.com - New Photoshop Contest: "Use your
imagination to find Dean's running mate (Vice President), should
Dean win the Democratic presidential nomination."
Paris Hilton's The Simple Life is a bona fide hit for Fox.
The cold spell has killed more than 2,500 people across England
and Wales in the past week, experts today revealed.
Death threats for Carson Daly
Former Big Brother star last seen tottering down the road wearing
only one shoe and with her left breast hanging out.
Season's Greetings from the Page Three Girls.
History of a Famous Star Wars Scream
- The trailer for
Walking Tall is online.
Rachael Leigh Cook Engaged to Daniel Gillies.
Don't click on 'remove' link to get off porn e-mail list.
VH1.com : Photo Gallery of 70s-80s glam rockers today
Oscar-winning actress Jennifer Connelly is having second thoughts
about naming her baby son "Stellan" because the man she
named him after, Stellan Skarsgard, has asked to be breastfed.
- Extreme Linguistics.
The Banished Words List for 2003. My personal favorite
overused redundancy is "at this particular moment in time", which
is what ordinary people always say when a reporter sticks a mike
in their face. We have an English word which says all that in one
syllable, three letters - "now". If one needs to be emphatic,
"right now" works fine.
The trailer for Girl With A Pearl Earring
The top concert draw across North America in 2003 was ....??
(Pretty much the same result as in 1983)
The internet creates "perversion fatigue".
Courtney Peldon did a topless scene in Reality Check.
The movie was never released in the USA.
Peter Stormare to play Satan in Constantine.
Wyomin Man Says anti-depression drug gave him a permanently erect
penis. In other news, Jack Nicholson and Colin Farrell
report feeling a little down in the dumps.
An Israeli company has required thousands of Chinese workers to
sign a contract promising not to have sex with Israelis.
So, before you bed that prom queen, you better know not only her
age, but her nationality as well.
NY City may ban car alarms.
Trouble with Catwoman
- The trailer for
King Arthur is now online.
Episode III pics!
Stats about all US cities. A tremendous free resource -
maps, race, income, education, crime, weather, area codes, zip
codes, similar cities.
This is great - site emulates all the oldest browsers, shows you
what the web used to look like.
A-Rod Stays A Ranger
Village Voice critics choose Van Sant's Elephant as the film of
the year, LOTR second.
A sweet tooth found to be correlated to alcholoism.
People with alcoholic parents are more likely to crave sugary
- The latest layout from
STUFFMAGAZINE DOT COM
2003 Best and Worst: Movies, By Richard Schickel Mystic
River was his best. Cold Mountain was his worst. His colleague at
Time picked Return of the King first, Mona Lisa Smile worst.
Roger Ebert's Top 10 for 2003. I wasn't surprised to
see that he picked Monster in the #1 slot. Boat Trip just missed
Gadhafi: Iraq war may have influenced WMD decision.
Jacqueline Stallone can read your fortune by reading your asshole.
Well, not just the hole - the entire rumpus, actually . If you
have a mystery in your life, just send her a picture of your rear
and Mrs Stallone will get to the bottom of it. Provided you don't
give her a bum steer.
Band camp chick to play Sally in stage version of When Harry Met
Longer movies, bigger drinks and no intermissions equal a new kind
of epic struggle in the theater: one bowl to rule them all, and in
the darkness bind them
Governor Pataki Pardons Lenny Bruce. I'm glad the state
of New York has nothing more urgent for him to work on.
Banjo Boy of 1972's 'Deliverance' performs encore as Banjo Man
Emulator Software: ONE, the Online NES Emulator
- More games:
Battleships - General Quarters
The Smoking Gun: courts rule prosecutors can view Limbaugh's
Weekly World News: "The obscure nation of Belgium, often called
'Europe's forgotten country,' was virtually destroyed by the
impact of an asteroid -- but incredibly, outsiders didn't notice
for three weeks."
Play blackjack online
Norwegian children sell new naked sports calendar
- FHM presents
the 12 Babes of Christmas.
Meet All The Official models of Mystique Magazine Lotsa
- The web site for journalist Diane Hill.
- Ypou think it's cold at yourr house? Check out the
Mount Washington Observatory | Webcam Network.
- URL says it all:
Cool little applet that shows you precisely how the zip code
systems work. Type in a zip one number at a time and
watch it zero in. Use the backspace button to change your mind.
ZOOM - a very cinematic cartoon about perspectives
Palm Springs Fest to Fete Threesome: "Golden
Globe-nominated actress Scarlett Johansson, Oscar-winning writer
Sidney Sheldon and 'Cold Mountain' production designer Dante
Ferretti will each be honored at the 15th annual Palm Springs
International Film Festival awards gala,"
Find A Grave
- URL says it all:
Grammys honor 6 with lifetime honors. Still none for
Hasselhof or Shatner.
Howard Dean Now Clear Democratic Leader in National Harris Poll
Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D.: Reviews Return of the King
Rockstar Games Classics - Free Downloads
Canadian Distributor Picks Up 'Passion' Rights. Will
debut it on Ash Wednesday.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Medieval Fleshpots 2: Hot Wenches" (2003) (V)
Czechploitation by the writer director team of Lloyd Simandl and Chris Hyde.
The head lesbian is played by Elin Spidla
best for her role as Manicurist #2 in Bad Company (2002).
Two other Czech actresses Katerina Hovorek (one of the princesses
from the first Medieval Fleshpots) and newcomer
Zuzana Jinan (aka Zuzana Jiran?) play wrongfully convicted women-in-prison,
This video has nothing to do with Simandl's earlier masterpiece
Chained Sinners: Medieval Fleshpots. In fact it takes
place in modern times. This video was released this month
in Japan under the title "Lash of the Scorpion" and has
included some flogging scenes that were cut from the UK release.
Nudity by main actresses only:
Above actresses in other Simandl movies:
- Elin Spidla: sexy in "Killer Love" (2002).
- Katerina Hovorek: nude in "Forbidden Rage: White Slave Secrets" (2002).
- Unknown Guard: nude in lesbian threesome scene that was cut from the US release "Slaves of the Realm" (2003).
"Chained Fury: Lesbian Slave Desires (2003) (V)
Is the latest czechploitation by the writer-director team
of Lloyd Simandl/Chris "Dr. Jekyl" Hyde.
Marcela Hodna (best known for her role as the lesbian wife in
Girl Camp 2003) plays an escaped mental patient. She first
electrocutes a nurse (Jana Melichar) and then kidnaps a woman
(Katerina Vesela) and makes love to her at gunpoint.
She then takes over a horse stud farm which is a front for
a white slave operation where Vladimira Kopal plays a lesbian
guard. It's a sea of flesh after that.
Nudity by main characters only:
Some of the above actresses in earlier Simandl movies:
- Marcela Hodna: nude threesome in "Girl Camp 2003: Chained Vengeance" (2002).
- Vladimira Kopal: nude in lesbian threesome scene that was cut from the US release "Slaves of the Realm" (2003).
She is also the extras casting assistant for many Simandl movies.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
A classic example of a B-movie T&A flick so bad, they make 'em in batches. This movie contains a complete scene of Kim Maddox that was also used in Final Examination, which I already capped. It's the exact same scene.
The good news is that it has plenty of nude scenes that were NOT in the other movie, and believe me, the nudity is the ONLY reason you'd want to watch this movie.
|DeadLamb 'caps of all 3 ladies showing some cleavage in scenes from "Shag: The Movie" (1989).
|Señor Skin 'caps a couple of former Heffers (Ferrell from January '97, Sokolova from April '99 and Brooks from May '98) in scenes from the special features on the DVD of the Cuba Gooding Jr. stink-fest, "Boat Trip".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MARRIAGE GOOD FOR WOMEN, BUT NOT MEN
So Something's Gotta Give - A study of more than 4,000 Britons by the
University of London found that women are happiest and enjoy the most mental
well-being when they marry their first love, while the most emotionally healthy
lifestyle for men is "serial monogamy," or a series of relationships that end before
marriage. Men who've had more than two relationships had the best mental
health of any group, while women who'd had the most break-ups had the worst
mental health. The more men women had broken up with, the unhappier they were.
Maybe they're unhappy because they always pick losers.
Somebody better put a suicide watch on Elizabeth Taylor.
Women are healthier in one, longterm relationship...like Whitney Houston
and Bobby Brown.
If this is true, the man with the best mental health in the world is Billy
Actually, the happiest man in the world is Hugh Hefner, who has five
relationships at once that end before marriage.
No, Not Jesse Helms - Tonight, a 125-year-old fruitcake will make an
appearance on NBC's "Tonight Show." Morgan Ford, 83, of Tecumseh, Michigan, is the
caretaker of the fossilized cake, baked by his great-grandmother around 1878.
Its history is hazy, but for some reason, nobody ate it, and it was handed down
through generations, preserved in a glass bowl covered by a glass top. It
still emits a spicy aroma. Ford plans to pass it down to his son, but he does
intend to offer a slice to Jay Leno.
David Letterman suggested it.
It probably won't be the worst fruitcake he ever tasted...or the hardest.
Think positive, Jay: if fruitcakes improve with age, this one might
finally be edible by now.
It's full of nuts and raisins...At least, they think those are raisins.
SOME CELEBS REJECT KNIGHTHOODS
A Royal Pain - A classified document leaked to the London Sunday Times
revealed the names of many celebrities who've rejected offers of royal titles,
including John Cleese, Trevor Howard and Vanessa Redgrave. Their reasons were also
exposed: David Bowie said he didn't know what a knighthood is for and it's
not what he spends his life working for. Albert Finney said the "Sir" title
perpetuates the disease of snobbery. And Helen Mirren turned down the title of
"Dame," saying, "The whole idea of aristocracy I loathe."
Jagger thought he deserved a knighthood because he's such a famous
Paul McCartney accepted the title of "Sir" only because he was tired of
the title "The Cute One."