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"A Night to Dismember"

A Night to Dismember (1983) is a cult horror film from the legendary exploitation giant, Doris Wishman. The film is so incredibly bad that I was going to invent a review to do it justice, then I listened to part of the commentary done by Doris herself. The real story is far more bizarre than anything I could have invented. As was her won't, Doris finished shooting, then cut the trailer. Someone bought US distribution from her, which gave her enough cash to finish the film. Unfortunately, the vault where the film was stored went bankrupt, and a disgruntled employee destroyed a bunch of the negatives stored there, including over 60% of A Night to Dismember. Since she had already sold distribution, she had to do something.

She took the remaining footage, added every frame of out-takes she had, pieced together a new plot based on the footage she had, assembled the film, then added voice-over and minimal dialogue to create a semi-coherent story. Basically, a girl is accused of a double murder, spend years in an insane asylum, then is released. Her sister resents not being the center of attention, and conspires with her brother to get her sent back. The girl is played by porn star Samantha Fox, in her only non-adult role. She shows a breast briefly as a detective peeps through her window. An unknown actress has a lengthy nude bath scene at the beginning of the film.

IMDB has it at 4.7 of 10, but I would expect that to drop as more people see it. The only reason to see this DVD is the commentary by Doris herself. F.

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  • Samantha Fox
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "Purple Rain" (1984)

    Purple Rain (1984) was requested by a longtime reader. I saw this film when it was first released on VHS, and was not overly impressed. I appreciated it much more this time. It is essentially a 111 minute rock video featuring Prince, and Apollonia Kotero as his love interest. While the film never strays far from the rock video format, it does manage to tell a coherent story. Apallonia comes to town to break into the music business. Prince is talented, but personal problems and ego are holding back his career. They immediately fall for each other, but it is nearly not enough. Prince seems doomed to repeat all of his father's mistakes, including blowing a music career, and being abusive to his mate. When his father puts a gun to his head, Prince figures out that another path might be better.

    Apollonia shows her breasts in a skinny-dipping scene, and shows major cleavage and legs that go all the way up in many of her costumes. The DVD transfer is a little week, but it is definitely colorful IMDB readers say 5.4 of 10, and the critical consensus is two stars. The film won an Oscar for Best Original score. Indeed, if this is your music, you will like this film. Even if it isn't, it is not without merit, and was quite daring for s1984. C+

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  • Apollonia Kotero (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Some of you old-timers have asked, "Whatever happened to Lawdog?". He's still around. He finishes law school in a few months. Yesterday, Lawdog wrote a review of Lord of the Rings. I think he liked it. And, of course, I added many shallow, inexpert and gratuitously snide remarks, as is my wont. He actually wrote an excellent review, and I wrote one that I think is at least entertaining, if typically ignorant.


    New Releases:

    Echo Park is yet another MGM film from the 80's of made-for-TV quality, starring Pinto Mozart.. It was Tom Hulce's first film after Amadeus. 

    Maria's Lovers is yet another small-time MGM film from the 80's. This one had some positives - interesting and artistic cinematography, coupled with a crippled heart at its core give it an offbeat, almost surreal tone. Unfortunately, it needed a rewrite and was released without one, so the dialogue is ludicrously bad. It is supposed to take place in the USA, but the characters seem like they come from outer space. This one could have been a good movie if anybody was really paying attention to it, but now it just seems odd.

    Keith Carradine sings for what seems like the entire movie! The film needed John Belushi -  to break Carradine's friggin' guitar. Sorry, man.

    • Nastassja Kinski (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)



    There is a new encyclopedia volume for Greta Scacchi. Note: The Bare Facts says she did her first nude scene in 1982 in a Merchant-Ivory film called Heat and Dust. This is available on DVD in Regions 2 and 3, but not in Region 1. So if any of you nice fellows from outside of North America would like to finish off our Scacchi collection, we'd love to hear from you.

    Looking at her career chronologically, I was shocked by the extreme transformation in her appearance in the mid 90's. Does anyone know what happened to Scacchi that caused her unnatural accelerated aging?

    Was there some illness or something else that caused her to change in this way? I know she gained a lot of weight, but that doesn't seem to be the complete answer, or is it? In Cotton Mary, at age 39, she appeared to be back to approximately what her 31 year old self should have looked like at 39.


    • I think I forgot to mention that Charlie's site was updated Friday! Sorry, Charlie.

    • Here's the review for Fires Within (Greta Scacchi pictures in yesterday's edition)

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Pecatti in famiglia" (1975) (which translates into Sins Within the Family) is an Italian sex comedy.

    Nudity report as follows:

  • Edy Williams: showing all three Bs years before the robohooters got intalled.
  • Jenny Tamburi: nude in some fairly explicit sex scenes plus an upskirt that puts Sharon Stone to shame.
  • Simonetta Stefanelli: the actress who played Michael Corleone's Sicilian bride in the Godfather goes full frontal!

  • Don Bun
    Jane Jensen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Topless in the Troma classic "Tromeo and Juliet" (1996). This movie has a wonderful tagline..."Body Piercing, Kinky Sex, Dismemberment. The Things That Made Shakespeare Great". Yup, I hear that underneath his tights, good old Bill was covered in tattoos too. Mostly skulls with snakes through the eye sockets, and naked women. Of course across his chest he had the words "Live to Write, Write to Live".
    Marya Delver The Canadian actress going topless in scenes from "Dangerous Attraction" (1999).

    The Night
    Amanda Tapping
    (1, 2)

    One of The Night's favorites. Here she is in scenes from excellent sci-fi series, "Stargate SG-1".( I'm a fan. It's sci-fi with MacGyver! I can't help but like it.)

    Link #1 has shows her form fitting clothes. Link #2 has some very nice cleavage.

    Elizabeth Hurley
    (1, 2)

    From the movie "Double Whammy" (2001). In #1 we see Liz in her bra and some partial bum. In #2 we see partial breast views as she gets it on with Dennis Leary.

    Julia Roberts
    (1, 2, 3)

    About as nude as she gets. Bra only in scenes from "The Pelican Brief".

    Justina Vail
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The "Seven Days" co-star bares her big'uns and a hint of pubes in scenes from the Pam Anderson flick, "Naked Souls" (1995).

    Marlee Matlin
    (1, 2)

    Topless in a love scene from "Two Shades of Blue" (2000).

    Rachel Weisz A bit of bum in "Enemy at the Gates".


    From 1977's "Kentucky Fried Movie"...Cathlic High School Girls in Trouble!

    3 topless babes in bondage being whipped by a crazed clown, plus the immortal Uschi Digard showing off her massive hooters.

  • Catholic School Girls (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Uschi Digard (1, 2)

  • Variety
    Catherine Zeta-Jones Topless and wearing a starfish and sea shell bikini in scenes from her very first movie "1001 Nights". Thanks to DaRed.

    Jenny Elvers
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Great scans by Blackshine of the blonde, German TV and movie actress showing some serious skin on the pages of the German edition of MAX magazine. Nudity in all links except #1 and #7.

    Bo Derek
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    From the unbelievably bad "Ghosts Can't Do It". As always, Bo looked great showing off the bod. Mostly breasts and legs, with just a hint of pubes and bum in link #2.

    So how bad is it? Zorba the Greek plays Bo's dead hubby. (All of his scenes look like they were shot with Zorba behind a shower curtian, and with a tub of Vaseline on the lens.) Even though he's dead, that hasn't stopped their perfect love (or some such crap) and they talk to each other, say they miss each other, blah blah blah. Bo then goes on a search to find a well built stud so Zorba's spririt can move in, take over the stud's body, and bingo, they can be together again. This movie is terrible, and personally I think the IMDb rating of 2.2 is a little high, even though that puts it at #92 in the bottom 100.

    Erika Marozsán I've never heard of this Hungarian actress before today, but I like what I see (from the neck down). Very lovely breast exposure in scenes from "Gloomy Sunday - Ein Lied von Liebe und Tod" (1999). Vidcaps by HBS Grafix.

    Sarah Polley The official actress in all Canadian movies exposing most of a breast in a very brief scene from the movie "Guinevere" (1999). Thanks to Nicap.

    Helen Shaver
    (1, 2)

    Something for the fans of the rarities...from the fogotten genre of 70's truckin' movies...Here is Helen showing a bit of nipple (link #1) and a little bum (link #2) in scenes from 1978's "High-Ballin'".

    Pamela Tiffin A bit before my time, but Scoop Sr's generation may remember this 60's starlet from such movies as "The Pleasure Seekers" (1964) or "State Fair" (1962). Here she is topless in the 1971's "Il Vichingo venuto dal sud" ("The Viking Who Came From the South").

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • The Sex Of The Computer A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.

    "House," in French, is feminine-"la maison."

    "Pencil," in French, is masculine-"le crayon."

    One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?"

    The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

    Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.

    The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

    1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic
    2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else
    3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval
    4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

    The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer"), because:

    1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;
    2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless
    3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem
    4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

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