Still more Accomplishments claimed by Al Gore
  • First man to wear pants.
  • His life was the basis for The Gospel according to St Matthew
  • Invented the orgasm
  • Personally designed three of the Lucky Charms
  • directed "Hooper"
  • First hunter-gatherer
  • Cow-tipping named after Tipper
  • "two words, Mr. Mars, - blue M&M's"
  • He was the first multi-celled organism
  • Bullfight crowds shout "Ole" in his honor
  • Separated the heavens from the firmament

  • I usually write these myself, like the Al Gore ones, but this was just too good to pass up, courtesy of Evil Ed

    Top 10 signs your grandparents are still sexually active:

    Two words: edible Depends.

    Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.

    Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of "denture-burn."

    Granny found cuffed to her walker.

    Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

    Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa's crotch and claps twice.

    Your Grandma is Anna Nicole Smith.

    You've just seen Granny in "Hustler's Beaver Hunt"

    Grandma bakes Viagra-chip cookies.

    Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for "doggy style."

    a Who was the best pitcher of the 20th century? Either Nolan Ryan or Sandy Koufax, according to you guys. To read Lawdog's analysis of these results, and of all previous polls, go here .

    Scoop's take on the baseball poll: well, I don't agree on Nolan Ryan. He was the most intimidating of his era, and the strongest at any given moment, but never a consistent enough winner to make the top of the list. Look at it this way, there are only about six to ten guys who it could be. For the first dozen or so years of the century, the best pitcher in baseball was Matty. Over an 11 year period, his worst record was 22-12. He once gave up 21 walks in a 300 inning season. I guess he owns the record for the greatest post-season ever. In 1905, her started three games in the World Series, and pitched three complete game shutouts. Unfortunately for the record book, one of his teammates also won a game, or he might have come back to throw a fourth shutout and thereby win the series single-handedly. Even so, nobody ever single handedly dominated a post-season this dramatically, not even Reggie. For the next dozen years or so, it was The Big Train, who I won't discuss because Lawdog did so in some detail.

    The next period was all Lefty Grove. If you are a serious student of baseball, you probably know that Grove is probably the right answer to the question. One year he led the league in wins and saves - can you name anyone else who was the best starter and the best reliever in baseball at the same time? Of course, he pretty much led the league in every possible category for about five years. In his best five year period of his prime, he won 128 and lost 33, and that was pitching against the great Yankee teams with Ruth and Gehrig. At the end of his career, well, listen to this. At age 39, as a lefthander pitching in Fenway (where Stengel would skip Whitey Ford's turn in the rotation), he led the league in ERA and winning percentage. If Bob Gibson had kept pitching and finished his career with three 19-0 seasons, he would still finish a hair behind Grove.

    Grove retired when the war began, and there was no dominant pitcher for several years. Spahn and Ford were probably kings of the hill until Koufax found the plate. Koufax is discussed by Lawdog in depth. His best five years are almost as good as Grove's. Koufax was great, but in all honesty, you can't compare Koufax to Grove unless you are talking about at one moment in time. Career-wise, Sandy wasn't even close. Those five years were really his entire career. Grove had a bunch of years before and after his prime that were almost as good. Plus, even during the five year stretch, Koufax's five years were a hair behind Grove's, and Koufax's stats were inflated by pitcher-friendly Dodger Stadium.

    An interesting element of the poll was that Marichal got no votes at all. Koufax, Gibson, Marichal - they were the Big Three of their era, and Marichal matched the others pitch for pitch. If you look at Marichal's lifetime stats and Gibson's, you will see that Marichal was actually marginally better (243-142 2.89 vs 251-174 2.91), but history doesn't remember it that way.

    The dominating pitchers between that era and the latest era were Tom Seaver and Nolan Ryan, neither of whom have the lifetime stats to qualify as the overall king, although Seaver is close. In modern times, you have three choices for king of the hill. The winner depends on how you weight the critiria: Clemens, Maddux, The Big Unit. I think history will choose Maddux as the greatest of the three, but I guess if Randy strings a bunch of 20-2 seasons, or if Clemens stays on top and Maddux doesn't, things will change.

    Summary: If you are talking about the most dominating over a five year span, I think you have Matty, Koufax and Grove. If you are talking about an entire career, then Grove, Johnson, and Matty. So I figure it boils down to Grove and Matty. Throw in Satchel Paige on blind faith. Those are my three guys. However, if you are talking only about guys remembered by the voters, then I'll concede to Koufax and Ryan as my lefty/righty, with Maddux and the Unit rounding off my rotation. Can you imagine opposing teams - they would be so relieved to see Maddux take the mound!

    And a note about the man who should have been. Dwight Gooden isn't on the list, and never will be.

    This is what cocaine did to a man who was probably the greatest pitcher ever to hold the seams in his hands. Except for Matty's three series shutouts, I submit this as the most amazing baseball stat I have ever read: in Gooden's last 9 starts of the 1985 season, with the pennant on the line in every game, Gooden batted in eight runs and allowed eight. He didn't need no stinkin' teammates! From June 1 to the end of the year, Gooden was seventeen and one. He finished the year 24-4, led all pitchers in every important pitching category as well as batting hits, and - get this - he finished the season before his 21st birthday. Gooden's lifetime record is still OK. It's something like 190-110, but if somebody else had his ability, plus the work ethic, and stayed away from the nightlife, the record books would be now be rewritten daily. So I say this: Dwight Gooden was the greatest pitcher of the 20th century, but it was only for a moment, and the record books will never show it.

    The Gist and Lawdog

    Members' Bonuses. Fast Times.

  • Fast Times at Ridgemont High

    I assume you know this movie. Two of the best nude scenes ever, and the all-time great two-character repartee between Sean Penn as the surfer/stoner Spicoli and Ray Walston as the dedicated history teacher. The most famous thing about this movie is that just everyone in it was an unknown, and many of them had successful careers, right down to the extras. Sean Penn's two stoner buds are Eric Stolz and Anthony Edwards. One of the good kids in the background is Nicolas Coppola, who is now better known as Nic Cage. Jennifer Jason Leigh, Phoebe Cates, Judge Reinhold, Taylor Negron, etc.

    The book (an interesting read that I recommend for a quick breeze) was actually written by a young adult who went back to High School and tried to write objectively about what he saw. That element was not used in the screenplay, which simply told the story he witnessed, and did not use the author as a character.

  • Phoebe Cates. A pictorialization of Brad's masturbatory fantasy. Is it possible to watch this scene without getting aroused? Not for me. When Al Gore first created the word "cute", he must have had Phoebe in mind. The picture on the top right of the first collage is another famous moment, as Phoebe gave JJL a blowjob lesson.

  • Jennifer Jason Leigh. This scene was very real and honest.

  • a

    One Fish, Two Fish
    Tuna runs with Day 1 of The Goldie Hawn film festival. Today, "Private Benjamin". These is no flagrant nudity, but these are sexy scenes anyway.

    (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10)

    Hi dear Scoopy! No comments this time. I'm sick. I've got a kiddie's disease: I'm down with the mumps! At 36, can you believe it? Well it's true. Anyway I don't feel very well and I'm feverish and it affects the quality of my collages. So if you don't use the pictures I understand completely.

    1. Naomi Campbell : scanned from the newspaper some days ago. You can find more of her Italan GQ pictures at the website with the obvious name

    2. A woeful attempt to bring Tanja Dexters' (Miss Belgium 1998) millennium calendar. The pictures measure 43cm. by 62 cm. so I should have scanned each picture partially four times and pasted them together. I felt too sick for it and simply made pictures of the photos but the result is even worse than I imagined.

    3. Viktor Lazlo : yes, Scoopy, Viktor is a woman. She's a Belgian singer/actress who is mainly active in France. It was she who presented the Eurovision Song Contest in Brussels the year following Belgium's only victory in that contest (somewhere in the 80's). The collage consists of scans from TV-screen photos.

    That's enough effort for this millennium (if it ends with 1999). My not feeling well causes me to type numerous errors, so I had to read this short message about 5 times to get them hopefully all out. I hope to feel better in a couple of weeks and to bring you an American actress that hasn't been uncovered before (she was requested repeatedly on your messageboard and it's going to cost me 67 but almost nothing is too much for my favorite uncle :-) ). Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all

    Yesterday: Leilani. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)

    Page Three Gold is Justine Spiers, 26 March, 1992.

    Porn star Kelly O'Dell, proving that she must have done it for real at least once. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5) Donbun DonBun is looking to be more aggressive now that he's on semester break. These are all from "Forbidden Sins"
  • Amy Lindsay
  • Amy Lindsay
  • Amy Lindsay
  • Kristine Carlstrand
  • Kristine Carlstrand
  • FR A great Christmas present. Sophie Marceau in "Beyond the Clouds" (#1, #2, #3)

    FR doesn't appear here exclusively, but he had no site of his own, and virtually everything he's done is archived in our subscription area. Click here to sign up or get info

    Akira One more of Katie Holmes in "Teaching Mrs Tingle"

  • Four new ones of Carre Otis from her current European career. She looks good, but kind of worn. Nonetheless, she is off the junk, off the Snickers and looking good again.
  • Otis.
  • Otis.
  • Otis.
  • Mena Suvari from the new Max. Although containing no explicit nudity, this must be one of the hottest images of the year.
  • Four from Celeblover, all from episodes of "Tatort". Claudia Stanislau ...
  • ... Iris Disse ...
  • ... Lilia Lehner ...
  • ... Nadja Uhl.
  • One more of those new Herzigova nudes, this one scanned from Italian GQ.
  • Click Here!