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Happy Festivus!
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"A Festivus for the rest of us!"
-Frank Costanza
It's that time of year again folks, and we welcome you to join us in celebrating the offical Winter Holiday of the Fun House.
Here are a few links reminding everyone about this great Holiday.
Festivus
Festivus at Wikipedia
Click here to send your friends and family Festivus Greeting Cards!
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Tuna
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"Watermelon Man"
Watermelon Man (1970) was the successful first feature from Melvin Van Peebles which netted him a three picture deal with Universal, which he abandoned to make Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song. I saw it when it was first released in the theaters, and it was rather revolutionary in showing a black perspective. While I enjoyed re watching it, it is now very dated. The attitudes portrayed are no longer surprising.
Godfrey Cambridge is a blowhard insurance salesman with a wife and two kids and living in a nice suburban home. All that changes when he wakes up black. His wife leaves him, the neighbors buy him out to move out of the neighborhood, the sexy Swedish Secretary at work, Kay Kimberly, who has always ignored him, now wants his body, and he finds life as a black man much different than it was before.
It was written as a comedy, and before Peebles came on board, they were going to have the lead played by a white man, and the ending would have been a wake up and it was all a dream thing. Peebles suggested that, because the lead spent most of the film as a black man, and needed to understand "being black," that they should cast a black man. He also felt the original ending was a copout.
Kimberly shows breasts, complete with implant scar, buns and a rear gyno shot in a sex scene. IMDb readers have this at 5.8. Estelle Parsons, as Cambridge's wife, was nominated for a BAFTA. Even though it is still dated, it is a very quick watch and has a few chuckles. The transfer is excellent. C+.
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Kay Kimberly
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Unknown
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Other Crap:
- From the Gay and Lesbian Online Shopping Mall
Action Figues with Penises! Dude, no offense, but I
think that He-Man guy should have had a different nickname.
Skeletor? Hung like a Rhino!
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The gubernatorial race in Washington State keeps getting crazier.
- The Dems now claim that their candidate won by eight votes,
and they just got a favorable court ruling on some late ballots
which are expected to expand that margin. The craziest thing is
that the current governor remains the legal governor until a
successor is certified, but he wants out on January 12th, which
could leave the state with no governor at all.
- If they need a temp, I think Gray Davis is available.
- Now that I think about it, forget that suggestion. The "no
governor" option is probably better than Davis.
-
Here's the somber, loud, and extraordinarily self-important
official site for The New World, that whole wacky
Terrence Malick, Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Pocahontas thing.
Includes many stills, a trailer, and a bombastic sound track.
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Four pictures of Charlize as Aeon Flux
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The telephone industry will be all about television next year. TV
over your home phone line. TV on your cell phone.
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The official site for MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS.
(trailer and poster)
- Regis Philbin was the best thing in the trailer. I like
Regis OK, and he is funny in this clip, but if you're making a
movie and Regis is the highlight, you need to think about a new
profession.
- Writer Marc Lawrence has the ultimate specialty - he's
Sandra Bullock's personal comedy writer. He's written exactly
three scripts in the millennium - all of them Sandra Bullock
comedies. In the case of that Bullock film with Hugh Grant, Mr.
Lawrence also directed.
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Robert Blake's neighbors accuse him of being a poor actor.
- Whoa. That's a crime? In California, of all places? No
wonder their prisons are overcrowded.
- And yet Greg Kinnear roams the streets, a free man.
- I understand they have to maintain one whole prison just for
the cast of Surviving Christmas.
- If the Packers have any games in California, Bret Favre
better hope the DA hasn't seen There's Something About Mary
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The trailer for Swimming Upstream. "Swimming Upstream
tells the compelling and inspirational true story of Tony
Fingleton, a young man from a troubled family who found the inner
strength to become a champion. Based on Anthony Fingleton's novel
of the same name and set in 1950s Brisbane, Australia, Swimming
Upstream stars Jesse Spencer as Tony, a young man who beats the
odds to become a champion swimmer in spite of his overbearing,
alcoholic father (Geoffrey Rush) and long-suffering but quietly
heroic mother (Judy Davis). Overshadowed in his father's eyes by
his brothers, it's only when Tony displays an extraordinary
swimming talent that he feels he has a shot at winning his
father's heart - and maybe even Olympic gold."
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Dodgers pull out of Randy Johnson trade.
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Jesus of the Week
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Baseball writers t-t-talkin' about the Hall
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Mexican city bans indoor nudity: "tramples on the
rights of the citizens by taking laughable measures such as
contemplating penalties for citizens who walk around nude inside
their houses."
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Justice Department lawyers are seeking judicial permission to
destroy about 63,000 copies of the controversial 'Ghettopoly'
board game, which has been criticized as a racist takeoff on the
classic 'Monopoly.
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Jacko's Thriller video, re-enacted with Legos. My God,
is there nothing Legos can't do? If Gilligan had been marooned
with a few Lego kits, the professor could have built a full sized
747.
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Rumor says Uma will replace Kidman in The Producers
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Intelligence Reform: Statement by the President Prior to Signing
Legislation Improving America's Defenditude Through Sweeping
Ensmartenizing of the Intelligenciary
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That compassionate Capt. Hawkeye Pierce? An evil villain?
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Madonna burst into a profane tirade in front of a group of
children during rehearsals for her 1991 Oscar appearance.
Ah, what the hell. After reading the story
I pre-ordered the book. Sounds like my kind of stuff.
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A fight broke out in a New York nightclub after a man accidentally
doused Bjork with ice. You'd think that wouldn't bother
her much. It was probably just a tribute. After all, she is from
ICEland.
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Pamelamania. Lots of pics of our favorite
surgically-enhanced Canadian MILF.
- For those of you with WAY too much time on your hands,
cast your vote for the Playmate of the Year.
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Rumor #1: The next Electronic Arts football game will not feature
the likeness or name of John Madden.
- Say what?
Stan Lee's POW! Entertainment and Celebrities in Action will turn
celebrities into animated superheroes. So if they make
Affleck a superhero - let's call him Jawman - will Ben Affleck
have to play the part in the film adaptation, or could it be
played by someone else? I suggest
Edward Burns, unless he and Affleck are actually the
same guy.
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Mr. Marcus XXXmas Party Set For Wednesday Night. Gosh,
here it is Wednesday, and my invitation wasn't in today's mail.
Just a clerical error, I suppose.
- GALLUP:
Public's Evaluation of Iraq War Grows More Negative
- The submitter wrote:
"Yeah, I have a thing for Fear Factor girls. "Megan" was a
contestant on the $1 Million couples show. She will also be
featured in the Feb 2005 issue of the Bunny Mag along with other
Fear Factor Girls" The page includes two topless
pictures.
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Twenty 'offbeat' stories which offered an insight into human
nature in 2004. ... "offbeat stories which offered an
insight into human nature" is the official news euphemism for
"fucked up shit"
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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You're Not The Most Popular Guy In Your
High School, presented by Napoleon Dynamite"
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REVENGE IS SWEET... HOW TO GET EVEN WITH AN EX!
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The Weekend Warrior says it's Meet the Fockers all the way.
I reckon he's right. The fact that the movie bites the big one
will have no impact on the first weekend, because its predecessor
was a $166 million Box Office smash, so it has a built in audience
and is opening on 3500 screens. The second weekend? That might be
a different story.
- This week's movies:
Darkness - 40% positive reviews. Horror movie of the
haunted house variety, starring Anna Paquin and Lena Olin. Some
genre buffs liked it, but it will get minimal distribution.
- This week's movies:
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - 48% positive reviews.
- "Why is it that so many people think this filmmaker is the
voice of their generation? Is their generation that vacuous?"
- This week's movies:
Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera -43% positive reviews.
Still no reviews for the competing Mickey Spillane version.
- "On the boards 'The Phantom of the Opera' was bloated
kitsch; now, thanks to Schumacher, it's hysterically bloated
kitsch."
- "The screen version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical lacks
both authentic romance and the thrill of memorable spectacle."
- "Like overpriced costume jewelry, this tasteless, soulless
contraption is sure to appeal to anyone who owns Celine Dion and
Meatloaf albums."
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Trivial Pursuit - the all Saturday Night Live version.
- This week's movies:
Meet the Fockers - 31% positive reviews. I guess you
could have predicted that from the trailer, which induced cringes.
If those were some highlights, you can imagine what the low points
are like.
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Roger Ebert's 10 Best Films of 2004. As usual, he
includes an assortment of big and small, domestic and foreign. I
was disappointed to see him leave Eternal Sunshine off the list,
but very pleased to see him list the immensely entertaining,
passionate, and informative (but low budget) Baadasssss! The page
also includes Roger's ten worst films of 2004, and all of his old
lists dating back to the Jurassic period. I was relieved to see
Dogville make his ten worst list. It would have made mine as well.
- This week's movies:
Fat Albert -17% positive reviews.
- This week's movies:
The Aviator - 86%. Martin Scorsese's Howard Hughes
biopic. General critical consensus: maybe not his best movie, but
probably his most entertaining.
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the
links above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
picture. When
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
altogether.
Hearts of the West (1975)
Offbeat Jeff Bridges movie.
Linda Borgeson doesn't act any more, and never did
have much of an acting career, but she is still in the industry.
Unfortunately, I don't really know what she does. Frankly, I don't
really know who Linda Borgeson is or what she does, but whatever it
is, people are really grateful for it. Here are her "miscellaneous"
credits at IMDb since 2000:
-
Scary Movie 3 (2003) (special thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
- My Boss's
Daughter (2003) (special thanks)
- Chicago
(2002) (executive in charge of post-production) (as Linda Borgeson)
- Kate & Leopold
(2001) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
- Scary Movie
(2000) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
- Hamlet
(2000/I) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
Five of the six credits are just unspecified "thanks". I don't know
what Linda does to get those thanks, but she seems to be getting
better at it, because the first three were "thanks", and then she
move up to "SPECIAL thanks".
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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ICMS
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Words, pictures, and vids from
ICMS
Lassiter (1984)
I don't think this movie needs much of an introduction. I'm
referring to Lassiter (1984), starring Tom Selleck, Jane Seymour
and Lauren Hutton. Lucky for us Tom keeps his clothes on, but Jane
Seymour, Lauren Hutton and Belinda Mayne can be seen in various
states of undress. Please don't ask me why these native English
speaking actors are so fluent in Italian, maybe because they were
on Italian TV?
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
First up from the Ghost today...part two of his visual review of the Skinemax movie "Exposed" (2003). Today's batch features B-movie regular Amy Linday having plenty of pseudo sex. Toplessness every where, plus a bit of bum in #3 and some pubes in links 17 and 25.
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- Amy Lindsay
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Next up, video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the wonderful indie comdedy "Free Enterprise" (1998). A must see for Trek/Shatner fans. Click here for the Scoopy.com review
- Audie England, briefly showing breasts in a hot tub love scene.
- Lori Lively, in #1 we see a breast view. In #2 we add brief glimpses of the other two B's (from the deleted scenes).
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- Stacy Rosman, topless in another deleted scene. You may have seen this busty B-babe in "The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" or "Bare Wench Project: Uncensored".
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Last but not least from the Ghost, here are a few video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the off beat movie "The Road to Wellville" (1994), starring Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick and John Cusack.
- Bridget Fonda shows her breasts in a bathing scene.
- Lara Flynn Boyle also shows some toplessness. Compared to her current weight, she is down right chunky in these scenes.
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Johnny Moronic
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Emilia Fox
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The UK actress clearly showing breasts and bum, plus brief frontal nudity in link #1. Scenes from the movie "Three Blind Mice" starring Edward Furlong.
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Emilia Fox
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More toplessness from Fox, this time in scenes from the UK movie "Gunpowder, Treason and Plot" (2004).
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Clémence Poésy
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The young French actress also baring a breast in scenes from "Gunpowder, Treason and Plot". If you don't know of her yet, you probably will by this time next year as she is currently filming "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". Much more importantly...she's already done much better nudity! In the 2003 French film "Bienvenue chez les Rozes" aka "Welcome to the Roses", she showed off her thin but naturally well equipped bod. Here are a couple of samples (1,
2,
3).
You can also find a video clip in the 9/11/04 update, plus more pics in the 9/8/04 and 11/28/03 Fun House back issues.
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Variety
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Scarlett Johansson |
Coming to theaters next Wednesday! Here is a sneak peek at Johansson in scenes from "A Love Song for Bobby Long". Johansson is only partially covered up by a towel and shows off much of a very large breast in a side view (with hand covering nipple).
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Tara Ellison
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Victoria Haas
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Señor Skin 'caps of both ladies bare their breasts in scenes from "Poison Ivy 2".
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
KIRSTIE SIGNS WITH JENNY CRAIG
Food So Expensive, You Can't Afford To Eat - Kirstie Alley, who is set to
star in a new Showtime series called "Fat Actress," has signed as the new
celebrity spokeswoman for Jenny Craig weight loss centers. Alley said once
she decided to lose weight, she had offers from four companies, but went
with the one that was the safest, most fun and had the "yummiest food."
She said, "I had a great time getting fat, and now I'm going to have an
even greater time losing weight."
And then, gaining it again.
She must realize that it will take her longer to lose weight than "Fat
Actress" will be on the air.
NEW "HARRY POTTER" SET FOR JULY
Is It Prince Harry? - J.K. Rowling announced that her next book, "Harry
Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," will be released next July 16. She also
revealed that the "half-blood prince" is neither Harry nor Voldemort.
He's a strange, tiny, purple creature who goes by a mystical symbol
instead of the title "Prince."
I wish she'd announced this after Christmas, because now I've got to go
get in line!
CHRISTMAS BRAWLS
Orange You Glad It's Christmas? - Sunday at a shopping center parking lot
in West Hartford, Connecticut, a parking space opened up and two female
drivers tried to take it. A woman riding in one of the cars threw an
orange peel at the other car, angry words erupted, and two women and a
teenage girl jumped out of the cars were soon rolling on the ground,
brawling. None was really hurt, but all there were charged with a breach
of the peace.
They all pled insanity: they'd been looking for a parking space for
seven hours.
It's the most wonderful time of the year!...For fans of cat fights.
Men would've settled it quickly and simply, by shooting each other.
God *% Us, Every One! - In St. Clare's Preschool in Great Kills, New
York, Venus Guerrieri and her son Charles Balducci, 29, were arrested and
the wife of a retired policeman was injured after they all got into a brawl
over seats at the school Christmas play.
The play was entitled, "Peace On Earth."
This must've been a lot better than any school play I've ever seen.
Remember these stories the next time some feminist says that if women
ran the world, there'd be no wars.
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