Happy Festivus!

"A Festivus for the rest of us!"
                  -Frank Costanza
It's that time of year again folks, and we welcome you to join us in celebrating the offical Winter Holiday of the Fun House.

Here are a few links reminding everyone about this great Holiday.

  • Festivus
  • Festivus at Wikipedia
  • Click here to send your friends and family Festivus Greeting Cards!

  • Tuna
    "Watermelon Man"

    Watermelon Man (1970) was the successful first feature from Melvin Van Peebles which netted him a three picture deal with Universal, which he abandoned to make Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song. I saw it when it was first released in the theaters, and it was rather revolutionary in showing a black perspective. While I enjoyed re watching it, it is now very dated. The attitudes portrayed are no longer surprising.

    Godfrey Cambridge is a blowhard insurance salesman with a wife and two kids and living in a nice suburban home. All that changes when he wakes up black. His wife leaves him, the neighbors buy him out to move out of the neighborhood, the sexy Swedish Secretary at work, Kay Kimberly, who has always ignored him, now wants his body, and he finds life as a black man much different than it was before.

    It was written as a comedy, and before Peebles came on board, they were going to have the lead played by a white man, and the ending would have been a wake up and it was all a dream thing. Peebles suggested that, because the lead spent most of the film as a black man, and needed to understand "being black," that they should cast a black man. He also felt the original ending was a copout.

    Kimberly shows breasts, complete with implant scar, buns and a rear gyno shot in a sex scene. IMDb readers have this at 5.8. Estelle Parsons, as Cambridge's wife, was nominated for a BAFTA. Even though it is still dated, it is a very quick watch and has a few chuckles. The transfer is excellent. C+.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Kay Kimberly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
  • Unknown

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Hearts of the West (1975)

    Offbeat Jeff Bridges movie.

    Linda Borgeson doesn't act any more, and never did have much of an acting career, but she is still in the industry. Unfortunately, I don't really know what she does. Frankly, I don't really know who Linda Borgeson is or what she does, but whatever it is, people are really grateful for it. Here are her "miscellaneous" credits at IMDb since 2000:

    1. Scary Movie 3 (2003) (special thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
    2. My Boss's Daughter (2003) (special thanks)
    3. Chicago (2002) (executive in charge of post-production) (as Linda Borgeson)
    4. Kate & Leopold (2001) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
    5. Scary Movie (2000) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)
    6. Hamlet (2000/I) (thanks) (as Linda Borgeson)

    Five of the six credits are just unspecified "thanks". I don't know what Linda does to get those thanks, but she seems to be getting better at it, because the first three were "thanks", and then she move up to "SPECIAL thanks".


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Lassiter (1984)

    I don't think this movie needs much of an introduction. I'm referring to Lassiter (1984), starring Tom Selleck, Jane Seymour and Lauren Hutton. Lucky for us Tom keeps his clothes on, but Jane Seymour, Lauren Hutton and Belinda Mayne can be seen in various states of undress. Please don't ask me why these native English speaking actors are so fluent in Italian, maybe because they were on Italian TV?

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    First up from the Ghost today...part two of his visual review of the Skinemax movie "Exposed" (2003). Today's batch features B-movie regular Amy Linday having plenty of pseudo sex. Toplessness every where, plus a bit of bum in #3 and some pubes in links 17 and 25.

    Next up, video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the wonderful indie comdedy "Free Enterprise" (1998). A must see for Trek/Shatner fans. Click here for the review

    • Audie England, briefly showing breasts in a hot tub love scene.

    • Lori Lively, in #1 we see a breast view. In #2 we add brief glimpses of the other two B's (from the deleted scenes). (1, 2)

    • Stacy Rosman, topless in another deleted scene. You may have seen this busty B-babe in "The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" or "Bare Wench Project: Uncensored". (1, 2)

    Last but not least from the Ghost, here are a few video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the off beat movie "The Road to Wellville" (1994), starring Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick and John Cusack.

    • Bridget Fonda shows her breasts in a bathing scene.
    • Lara Flynn Boyle also shows some toplessness. Compared to her current weight, she is down right chunky in these scenes. (1, 2, 3)

    Johnny Moronic
    Emilia Fox
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The UK actress clearly showing breasts and bum, plus brief frontal nudity in link #1. Scenes from the movie "Three Blind Mice" starring Edward Furlong.

    Emilia Fox
    (1, 2, 3)

    More toplessness from Fox, this time in scenes from the UK movie "Gunpowder, Treason and Plot" (2004).

    Clémence Poésy

    The young French actress also baring a breast in scenes from "Gunpowder, Treason and Plot". If you don't know of her yet, you probably will by this time next year as she is currently filming "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". Much more importantly...she's already done much better nudity! In the 2003 French film "Bienvenue chez les Rozes" aka "Welcome to the Roses", she showed off her thin but naturally well equipped bod. Here are a couple of samples (1, 2, 3). You can also find a video clip in the 9/11/04 update, plus more pics in the 9/8/04 and 11/28/03 Fun House back issues.

    Scarlett Johansson Coming to theaters next Wednesday! Here is a sneak peek at Johansson in scenes from "A Love Song for Bobby Long". Johansson is only partially covered up by a towel and shows off much of a very large breast in a side view (with hand covering nipple).

    Tara Ellison
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Victoria Haas
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Señor Skin 'caps of both ladies bare their breasts in scenes from "Poison Ivy 2".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Food So Expensive, You Can't Afford To Eat - Kirstie Alley, who is set to star in a new Showtime series called "Fat Actress," has signed as the new celebrity spokeswoman for Jenny Craig weight loss centers. Alley said once she decided to lose weight, she had offers from four companies, but went with the one that was the safest, most fun and had the "yummiest food." She said, "I had a great time getting fat, and now I'm going to have an even greater time losing weight."

  • And then, gaining it again.
  • She must realize that it will take her longer to lose weight than "Fat Actress" will be on the air.

    Is It Prince Harry? - J.K. Rowling announced that her next book, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince," will be released next July 16. She also revealed that the "half-blood prince" is neither Harry nor Voldemort.

  • He's a strange, tiny, purple creature who goes by a mystical symbol instead of the title "Prince."
  • I wish she'd announced this after Christmas, because now I've got to go get in line!

    Orange You Glad It's Christmas? - Sunday at a shopping center parking lot in West Hartford, Connecticut, a parking space opened up and two female drivers tried to take it. A woman riding in one of the cars threw an orange peel at the other car, angry words erupted, and two women and a teenage girl jumped out of the cars were soon rolling on the ground, brawling. None was really hurt, but all there were charged with a breach of the peace.

  • They all pled insanity: they'd been looking for a parking space for seven hours.
  • It's the most wonderful time of the year!...For fans of cat fights.
  • Men would've settled it quickly and simply, by shooting each other.

    God *%&# Us, Every One! - In St. Clare's Preschool in Great Kills, New York, Venus Guerrieri and her son Charles Balducci, 29, were arrested and the wife of a retired policeman was injured after they all got into a brawl over seats at the school Christmas play.

  • The play was entitled, "Peace On Earth."
  • This must've been a lot better than any school play I've ever seen.
  • Remember these stories the next time some feminist says that if women ran the world, there'd be no wars.