Massacre (2001) is an ultra low budget Canadian teen slasher spoof that IMDB has never heard of. As a matter of fact, I couldn't find any of the cast or crew there either. It was shot on digital video in about two weeks, and fairly sophisticated CG was used to help some of the effects. The film makers tried to spoof all of the genre cliches. They included, for instance, the scene wherein a girl falls with the killer chasing her, and can't get up.

Basically, the film starts with three couples going on a camping trip. While they are driving, one of the girls, Naomi Vondell, who also sang several of the songs on the soundtrack, has a dream that includes her running down train tracks with blood on her face, wearing nothing but bikini bottoms. There are several surreal dream sequences during this part of the film. Once they arrive, it is fun in the sun, with swimming, a campfire scene, and then a girl/girl that turns into a three way. Then, the killing starts. I won't reveal the ending (or endings) in case some of you are curious enough to see it, but the main ending is one of those none of this really happened things.

The special effects were meant to be high gore, and the sex scenes, for the most part, were played for comedy. In one killing scene, the bad guy chainsaws someone to death to Ode to Joy. Naomi Vondell shows breasts in two scenes, and buns in the three way. Elizabeth Innes shows breasts in the three way.

This has the makings of a cult classic. I can only guess that there was no theatrical release, but the DVD is nicely done, with a pretty good looking transfer, and a feature length commentary. As a horror spoof or cult classic, it is a C, but will have little or no appeal to those who do not properly enjoy "bad films."

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  • Elizabeth Innes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Naomi Vondell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Here are some movie pages unattached to pictures. Some very good niche movies:

    • Secretary  (pics in yesterday's page). Terrific, offbeat movie. My summary - imagine Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep doing S&M. Is that like "compassionate conservatism"?
    • The Pianist (no nudity). Great movie, great classical piano score, but understand that it is three hours of holocaust survival, during the last half of which there is virtually no dialogue, just one guy hiding out alone in deserted buildings in Warsaw. Not exactly your feel good movie experience. Based on a true story.
    • Innocence (pics a couple of days ago) Also a good movie, about senior citizens rekindling a love after 50 years.
    • Beijing Bicycle (no female nudity) Our resident arthouse critic, Mick Locke, enjoyed this film.


    • New Encyclopedia volumes for Alexandra Paul, Christiane Paul, Kira Reed, Kitten Natividad, Elke Sommer, Dalila DiLazzaro, Anne Ceurvels, C.C. Costigan



          Hi dude, there's a way to navigate the Japanese Amazon site in English.  Actually, they have the so called "ordering language preference' setting, which you can choose between Japanese and English.  Just click on the 'account' tap on the upper right of the site, and go under 'Account Settings', and you'll see 'Set your ordering language preference' there.  To  save you the trouble, here's the direct link:

    Also, I just ordered a photobook and some DVDs from them about two weeks ago, and I got my items within 5 business, they use DHL to ship, it's lighting fast and you can track the package too, hope this helps.

    Other crap:


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Kari Wuhrer, the long time Fun House favorite goes topless and shows off a great thong view in scenes from "Spider's Web"

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today is a "Babe in Bondage" day as we return to "Dracula the Dirty Old Man" for a look at another victim (Sue Allen) of the lecherous Dracula. Sue is groped, fondled and booby bitten by this horny Dracula. This movie is bad with it's lousy dubbing, phony accents and abundant nudity. The nudity is really the best part. Actually it's so bad it's hilarious, if you have as warped a sense of humor as I do. You have to see it to believe it.

    • Sue Allen, toplessness and some frontal nudity in #11. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Dolly Dollar The plus-sized German actress in bikini scenes from the TV series "Ein Schloß am Wörthersee" aka "Lakeside Hotel" (1990).

    Elisabeth Volkmann She does the voice of "Marge Simpson" for episodes of the that air in Germany. Here she is topless in the 70's TV series "Klimbim".

    Sharon Brauner Great cleavage, plus brief breast and bum views in scenes from "Meine Mutter, meine Rivalin".

    Svenja Pages A subtle nip slip, and some see-thru lingerie in scenes from "Jede Menge Schmidt" (1989).

    Sophie Marceau Full frontal nudity from the French actress in scenes from "Mes nuits sont plus belles que vos jours" aka "My Nights Are More Beautiful Than Your Days" (1989).

    Tara Fitzgerald Topless and rear nudity in scenes from the UK mini-series "The Camomile Lawn".

    Christiane Paul Very nice breast exposure in scene from "Das Leben ist eine Baustelle" (1997).

    Maggie Gyllenhaal An excellent full frontal view of Gyllenhaal from her Golden Globe nominated performance in "Secretary".

    Pam Anderson and Liz Hurley This one goes back in time to before Liz's baby. Liz looks classy, sexy and elegant while showing a little cleavage and leg. Pam shows off a hint of nipple, and looks..well, like the queen of the trailer park.

    Angie Everhart Topless in scenes from the lamest installment of the franchise, "The Substitute 4: Failure Is Not an Option".

    Nastassja Kinski
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Nipples (and hairy armpits) are visible in scenes from the German movie "Frühlingssinfonie" aka "Spring Symphony" (1983).

    Marina Dias
    (1, 2)

    Black and white images of the model showing some breast exposure in scans by Blackshine.

    Elisha Cuthbert
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The young co-star of the FOX series "24" looking absolutely amazing in bikinis and other skimpy outfits on the cover and pages of the December issue of the Dutch version of Maxim magazine. Great scans by Marsie.

    Carmen Electra
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Lots of cleavage, plus a thong view or two as Carmen poses in lingerie. Scans from the May issue of the German version of FHM.

    Camilla Sjoberg
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Model/mega-babe in a variety of topless poses. Links 2,3,5 and 6 also show a bit of bum.

    French movie posters

    Valerie Kapriski
    (1, 2)

    Marianne Basler

    Nathalie Delon

    Sophie Marceau

    If nothing else, you have to love the French for their use of nudity in mainstream advertising! Here is a nother round of movie posters showing goodies.

    Kapriski topless in "Aphrodite"

    Basler also shows breasts in "L'Amour Propre"

    Delon topless and in undies from "Les Deux Soeurs"

    Marceau topless and showing some side bum in an ad for "Amour Braque"