"Inside Club Wild Side"
Inside Club Wild Side (1998) is a soft-core starring Jason Schnuit as Joe, Montana country boy and wannabe artist. When his girlfriend dumps him choosing to marry a banker's son, saying he is going nowhere in his life, he packs up and moves to Hollywood. His goal is to become rich and famous as a movie director, as he has been told by everyone back home that art doesn't get you anywhere in life.
His first day in town, he is robbed, then saves Brande Roderick from a mugger. He drives her home, and the two end up in the sack together. She is a wannabe actress, but the next day she is called to work, interrupting them having sex, and he follows her to work. She works at Club Wild Side, doing live sex shows. She explains that she likes uncomplicated sex, and it is a form of acting. Joe ends up working at the club.
This has far too much nudity for one night, so I will end the review there for now, and get on with the images of Brande in several sex scenes. Tomorrow night, the other women, and the rest of the review.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Naked Lunch (1991)
When I started high school in 1962, Naked Lunch, a
1959 work of fiction by "beat generation" writer William Burroughs,
was something that "good" people would only mention in the harshest,
most condescending whispers. They might call it "trash, obscenity,
and gibberish written by a gay junkie". Most likely they would not
speak of it at all.
Needless to say, I made up my mind to
read it, not because I find gay junkies fascinating, but simply because I'm the kind of person who must read
anything that is forbidden to me. Finding a copy in Rochester, New
York forty years ago was not an easy
thing to do. In those days, we purchased most books at suburban
stationary stores and from the book departments of refined and
proper department stores. It was difficult to get these people to
stock the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, so you can imagine that William
Burroughs was way out of the realm of possibility. Our libraries,
even the downtown library, was no help either.
The search ended when my friend Richard Pero introduced me
to a place which would change my life as much as any single place ever has -
the Clinton Book Store. This place was like Valhalla for kids
seeking to learn about the adult world. Much of their product
assortment consisted of tables
full of used comic books and sleazy pulps and nudist magazines in
helter-skelter arrangement, with prices marked on them in black
magic marker. More to the point of this anecdote, the Clinton
Book Store was also the town's sole repository for the complete output of
a semi-underground publisher named Grove Press. Grove Press had a
very singular raison d'etre - to publish everything forbidden by the
guardians of mainstream culture. There was the anonymous Victorian
diary My Secret Life, there were the novels of the Marquis de Sade
and the plays of Jean Genet. There were the nihilistic works of the
European theater. And there were the anti-establishment works of the
American Beats - Ferlinghetti, Kerouac, Ginsberg, Burroughs.
So Naked Lunch became one of my many
Clinton Book Store acquisitions.
I found it utterly baffling.
I fought my way through to the end of
its twisted narrative, but to this day, I don't have a goddamn idea
what it is about. I know that Burroughs was a junkie, and a
late-discovered homosexual, and wasn't very happy about being either
one of those things, so he retreated into a bitter self-loathing
world which was half consciousness and half dreams. He shot up so
much junk that he more or less completely lost sight of the
difference between his dreams and his drug-induced hallucinations,
so he took those dreams which resembled his life, and he wrote them
out into Naked Lunch. He just poured out all his sadness and
craziness and self-loathing and self-delusion and angry humor into a
surrealistic book, which was less stream-of-consciousness than
stream-of-lunacy. Burroughs originally came from a rich family, but
his state of drug-addled consciousness was not some
idle rich man's posturing. This was his reality. He descended
further and further into drugged-out dementia, the nadir of which resulted in
his having blown out his wife's brains in a game of William Tell.
Was he aiming for the glass on her head, or was he trying to kill
her? Who knows? He himself was not sure. His ambivalence is
reflected in this exchange in the film:
One of Burroughs's personalities: "I
didn't murder her. It was an accident."
Another one: "There are no
If ever there was a case of a
filmmaker and an author who were meant for one another, it is
cerebral, weird David Cronenberg and cerebral, weird William
Burroughs - two screwy guys who seem on the surface to be
accountants or low-level civil servants. Cronenberg must be the only
guy in history who actually "got" Burroughs, and the result of their
psychic connection is this supremely odd, magnificently imagined,
visually splendid, and totally fucked-up movie, a hybrid of
Burroughs's book and Burroughs's life, in which the main character
representing Burroughs has various masturbatory, drug-addled
conversations with his own layers of consciousness, which are
represented in the film as humans and insects. At various times and
in various ways, Burroughs lives and relives the key incidents of
his life, sometimes again and again.
Speaking of insects, the various drugs he takes are all
insect-oriented, and there is an evil Moriarty character behind all
his woes, and I don't know what else, because I don't get Burroughs
at all. If you care to know what it's about, you better just
see it, because Cronenberg actually seems to understand it all.
Ol' Cronenberg seemed to be
right up there in Burroughs's head, and that's the head of a man whose ruling
principle was to "exterminate all rational thought" -
which must make this a pretty good movie, if that's what you're
- What terms did people seek the most on
Internet Search Engines in 2003?
Police call for remote button to stop cars. I want one
of those. It could actually make it fun to attend NASCAR events.
- Audio -
Joe Namath, drunk as a skunk on network TV.
Gaddafi worn down by decades of sanctions, isolation, and femmy
hats. Rumor has it he has agreed to give up his weapons
just to get access to a decent milliner.
- The Ghost will need somebody new to haunt.
Mrs. Muir has died.
- After three years of delays in the theatrical release date, it
now appears that
Prozac Nation will go straight to video in 2004.
Hangman online. Simple, but nerve-wracking, and
'Search Inside the Book': Full-Text on Amazon: "Tapping
into over 33 million pages from over 120,000 non-fiction and
fiction titles supplied by over 190 publishers, Amazon.com has
launched a major online access service to the full text of
- The real meaning of
Mad Cow disease.
- Tinfoil/pyramid hat story of the day:
Bush met Saddam on November 27. Together, the two
exchanged some jolly Thanksgiving anecdotes while sharing some of
the President's famous lip-smackin' decorative plastic turkey.
The Dallas Cowboys have made the playoffs. I'm not sure
how much they pay coach Bill Parcells, but it's probably not
- Oops! Just kidding about those playoff tickets.
A couple days after starting to sell playoff tickets, the Bengals
fell to 8-7. The Bengals will make the playoffs only if
they win next week AND the Ravens lose.
Saints keep hopes alive with a bizarre schoolyard play in which
six guys handle the ball (counting the center) - then lose it all
when their kicker misses the routine extra point.
How was Elizabethan English pronounced? Most passing
strange. It does not sound like modern day upper-crust English, as
you might assume from the movies. It sounds like a cross between
Middle Atlantic American and a Scottish burr. Further differences
between Elizabethan and modern pronunciation are suggested by the
rhymes: all-shall; racks-takes, steel-well, join-shine, seas-press
(although rhymes are not invariably correct tests of
Myths about language.
- After just two months in circulation, the first ever
NUDE CARIBOO HISTORY calendar has been reprinted to
satisfy the market's demand for this stripped-down view of Cariboo
OVER-THE-TOP AD CAMPAIGNS of 2003.
- A follow-up to the ad campaigns link above. If you haven't
actually seen the naughty pictures, here is an overview of the
raciest stuff in the
Abercrombie and Fitch Christmas Field Guide.
In addition to $125 mill. in the USA, Return of the King has also
taken in $121 million overseas.
Still haven't finished xmas shopping? The raccoon
penises are out of stock, but there are still some bull scrotums
left. These are also excellent to use in place of stockings on the
mantle. And "no two are alike".
In the holiday spirit - White Trash Christmas
Scientific study suggests that dogs do know it's not bacon.
NYC Exotic Dance Central Opens School: "NYC Exotic
Dance Central is a training center that teaches the art of exotic
dance to the general public and professional entertainers,"
Cheney may face prosecution in Halliburton bribery scandal.:
"A French official is examining whether to prosecute US Vice
President Dick Cheney over alleged complicity in the abuse of
corporate assets dating from the time he was head of the services
company Halliburton, the French newspaper Le Figaro said." The
Veep had an undisclosed comment at the undisclosed location,
something about sharks with frickin' laser beams.
Dean campaign denies it offered VP slot to Clark:
"Wesley Clark said Sunday that Howard Dean had offered him the
vice president slot should Dean win the Democratic nomination for
president, but Dean's campaign manager promptly said it wasn't
true." John Kerry said, "those crazy-ass motherfuckers are whack".
Pages full of Oops movies. Some are not so good, but
the page is well worth a look for treasure hunters. Here is
some charming runway nudity, for example.
Wesley Clark will "beat the shit out of" anyone who questions his
patriotism. John Kerry's response, "Fuckin' A"
Amazingly entertaining interview with Affleck: "Affleck
is also, in a twisted way, proud of just how big a bomb, just how
reviled, Gigli has become. 'Do nothing small,' he says. 'If you're
going to have a bomb, let it be the Ishtar for our generation.'
U.S. terrorism threat level raised to "high".
MAXIM picks its "Best of" Entertainment in 2003
Japan says: "no problem, we have the ark of the covenant".
The ark is right around the corner from King Solomon's mines, and
the grave of Alexander the Great.
Rockin' Roaster Stupid.com, the internet stupidity
resource, calls it "jaw-dropping" in its stupidity.
Princess Diana was pregnant when she died. That should
give the tabloids enough stories for the next year. What will
Weekly World News have to say about the father?
Dave Barry discusses Rig Envy
Fox News set to span the world.
An all singing episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is in the
running to be named the greatest musical of all time.
"American Soldier" named Time's "Person of the Year"
The most desirable places to live in America. Once
again, Gary, Indiana was screwed.
Schindler's List finally headed to DVD.
- Here's' the latest photoshop contest at
FreakingNews.com. Based on the recent revelation of
Tony Blair's family Christmas Card: "Design political Christmas
cards with politicians and with appropriate card messages or
Holiday wishes. Cards can be either 'from politicians' or 'about
politicians' and accordingly should have card messages 'from
politicians' or 'about politicians' featured in the cards. "
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
||Plenty of cleavage in scenes from UK the made for TV movie "Sharpe's Mission".
|The former Doritos babe in scenes from "National Lampoon's Repli-Kate". In #2 we see her in undies.
||The Borg queen in scenes from another of the "Sharpe" series of UK TV movies. Vidcaps from "Sharpe's Honour".
||Stripped down to her black bra in scenes from the Sandra Bullock/Hugh Grant movie "Two Weeks Notice".
||The busty actress showing cleavage and a hint of nipple in scenes from "Billy Jack" (1971).
|The former Heffer (July '89) showing off her big'uns and a thong view in scenes from the Steven Seagal movie "Under Siege" (1992).
||Halle in a bikini top in 'caps from "Die Another Day" (2002).
|The girl of many sci-fi fan's dreams. Here she is looking gorgeous as 'Nova' in the 1968 classic "Planet of the Apes".
|The hard core-turned-soft core actress bares all in pseudo sex scenes from "Deviant Desires" (2002).
|The very hot 70's and early 80's actress from assorted sources.
Links 1-5 feature her in several skimpy outfits from appearance on the classic 70's sci-fi series "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century".
Link #6 is from a 1974 episode of "MacMillian and Wife".
Link #7 is from the "The Nude Bomb" (1980) a "Get Smart" movie.
Link #8 featurs her breasts in scenes from her very first movie "There Was a Crooked Man..." (1970).
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Little Darlings is the female version of all the 1980s summer camp genre movies. Kristy McNichol and Tatum O'Neal are in a contest to lose their virginity - Kristy won. Krista Errickson is the camp bitch and I have included caps of Cynthia Nixon out of curiosity, given her present fame. There's cleavage by Margaret Blye, a brief nipple exposure by Tatum and pokies by Kristy.
Given her present notoriety, it's worth remembering Meg Ryan's exposure in The Presidio. There are pokies and a brief, silhouette view of her breasts.
I don't think anything is visible, except for pokies, by Madonna in Dick Tracy, but she does look sexy.
Pamela Gidley is a Cherry 2000 in the movie of the same name - a sophisticated robot with all the features you'd ever want, and I do mean all. Lots of cleavage by Melanie Griffith, especially in the second collage, and nice caps of Jennifer Mayo and Cameron Milzer.
|Playing "the dead chick in the morgue with the really big boobs" in scenes from "Bad Boys II".
||Showing off her usual mega-cleavage in scenes from the NBC series "Las Vegas".
|The half-Brit/half-Filipino actress topless in Señor Skin 'caps from the movie "Hibla" (2002).