• I would not want to be him on the first game back in Boston. Oh, wait a minute, he has eleven gazillion dollars. I guess I wouldn't mind being him. Never mind. Boo away, you peasants!

Google's Year-End Zeitgeist for 2005.

SHARON OSBOURNE TO HAVE BREASTS REDUCED

• They were just enlarged. I think she should just have inflatable sacks installed, then she can just make them whatever size she likes that day. Rumor is that she's already spent half a million dollars on cosmetic surgery.

"A marijuana-growing operation inside a cave ... something out of a James Bond movie."

The trailer for The White Countess, a Merchant-Ivory style of movie, except without Merchant (who died in May).

• "Set in Shanghai in the late 1930s, this is the story of the relationship between a disillusioned former US diplomat and a refugee White Russian countess reduced to a sordid life in the city's bars."

Three clips from Spielberg's Munich

The trailer from You, Me and Dupree

• Mainstream Hollywood comedy featuring the usual suspects: Owen Wilson, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon, Michael Douglas
• "The comedy tells the story of a newlywed couple (Hudson, Dillon) whose relationship problems boil over when the groom's unemployed best man, Dupree (Wilson), moves in with them for a brief period and seems to have no intention of leaving."

The teaser trailer for Mel Gibson's Apocalypto, which chronicles the fall of the Mayan civilization - and is in the Mayan language!

• Mel might be a crazy sumbitch, but he has some talent. From the previews alone, this looks more impressive than Malick's new movie.
• Or maybe not so crazy. Mel walks that fine line between genius and insanity, and I can't seem to figure out which side he is on. Coupla years back, I ridiculed Gibson for the sheer impracticality of making a film in Aramaic, and that film turned out to be approximately the most profitable single endeavor in the history of the human race, so I think I'll just shut up.

A great look at Angelina Jolie pre-stardom, in the Rolling Stones video "Anybody seen my baby"

"Filmmakers of The New World have apparently re-shot scenes where Colin Farrell makes out with a 14-year old Q'Orianka Kilcher because it's making lawyers nervous that they might be making child porn."

Here's a tip for you criminal youngsters! The zoo's tiger enclosure is not a good hide-out.

"A federal judge barred a Pennsylvania public school district Tuesday from teaching 'intelligent design' in biology class"

The Weekend Warrior's predictions for the Christmas weekend

• Crazy weekend - impossible to make much sense of it. Some films open on Sunday, so will have only one day of grosses during the weekend. Zillions of new releases plus Potter, Narnia and Kong. And who knows what Brokeback will do?

This week's movies (expanding to 120 screens): Brokeback Mountain - 88% positive reviews.

• Ang Lee's "Homo on the Range" movie is considered a serious Oscar contender, and has pulled in big crowds in limited distribution.

This week's comedies (1600 screen Friday): The Ringer - no reviews

• (This is the Farrellys' new comedy, about a guy - Johnny Knoxville - who pretends to be handicapped in order to enter the Special Olympics. The lack of reviews is usually a bad sign, but in the case of the Farrellys, who knows?)

This week's movies (3000 screens): Fun with Dick and Jane - 71% positive reviews.

• Jim Carrey's latest. The 71% surprises me. This film was plagued with problems like re-writes and re-shoots. I guess people really love Jimbo. I do too, but I'm skeptical of this one.

This week's movies (3000 theaters, Wednesday): Cheaper By the Dozen II - 20% positive reviews

• That 20% is based on just five reviews. I thought you might enjoy what the one POSITIVE review had to say: "Cheaper by the Dozen 2 is predictable, manipulative, and probably funded by the Taliban."

This week's movies (35 theaters, Christmas Day): Casanova - 67% positive reviews The previews make it look like infectious fun, but experience shows that Lasse Hallstrom can usually be counted on to make everything too syrupy.

This week's movies (expanding to 1400 screens Friday): Memoirs of a Geisha - 30% positive reviews.

• Once hailed as an Oscar hopeful, but mercilessly assailed as humbug by many critics. "It's not a movie...it's a fashion show!"

This week's movies (1000 screens, Christmas Day): The Producers - 51% positive reviews

This week's movies (2800 screens, Christmas Day): Rumor Has It ... 57% positive reviews

• This is the "my family was the model for The Graduate" movie with Aniston and Costner.

This week's movies: (1700 theaters) Wolf Creek - 78% positive reviews (Christmas Day release, in the true spirit of the holiday - an ultra-nasty horror flick!)

This week's movies: (525 theaters) Munich - 75% positive reviews. (Spielberg's latest, about the Olympic massacre.)

Is there such a thing as a diplomatic pouch? No, but I knew a very polite handbag once.

Conan O'Brien Visits Martha Stewart (Funny five minutes of video)

Check out the funny new telly advert for Virgin Mobile (or you could just watch the TV commercial instead)

NASA Launches First-Ever Faith-Based Space Program

Al Qaeda reports declining revenues in fiscal '05

Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas: The Texas Soap Box Depository (Pretty sure they're kidding)

Bobby and Whitney are the "Tackiest Couple" of 2005?

• Man, there's a hip pick, eh? My first thought was "Bobby and Whitney WHO?" When I realized who the article was referring to, my next thought was "Are they still alive?"
• I have to go withg Britney and Cletus.

Last Week's quotables from Conan O'Brien

• "Colin Farrell has checked himself into a hospital to be treated for exhaustion. As a result, Farrell's nurse is now being treated for exhaustion."
• "According to a new scientific study, dogs can actually laugh. Apparently, dogs laugh hardest when they see a cat get kicked in the nuts."
• "This week suspended Philadelphia Eagle Terrell Owens threw a birthday party for himself and one of the people on the guest list was Paris Hilton. When asked why Paris was invited, Terrell said, 'Because like me, she knows what it's like to be screwed by the NFL.'"
• "Today a maintenance supervisor is being called a hero after he caught a baby that was thrown out of a burning building in the Bronx. They're not sure who the man is, but they are sure he doesn't play for the Jets."
• MY FAVORITE LINE OF THE WEEK: "It was reported today that this year Britney Spears was the most searched celebrity on the Internet. And once again this year, Snoop Dogg was the most searched celebrity at the airport."
• "This week, the Washington, D.C. production of 'The Nutcracker' was cancelled because the dancers went on strike. So once again, our nation's capital waits, paralyzed, a hostage of the all-powerful Ballerina's Union."

The trailer from Think Tank, an indie

• "Bumbling, twenty-something slackers use their self-proclaimed 'genius' to save a small town from the evil clutches of Lord Billiards, a land-grabbing pool celebrity."

The trailer from Failure to Launch

• "A thirty-year-old slacker (Matthew McConaughey) uses his parents to thwart off unwanted female attention, but when he meets his dream girl (S.J. Parker), he suspects his parents of putting her up to it in order to get him out of their house."
• One pretty cool thing - Terry Bradshaw plays the dad! (I'm not sure he needs to clear any space in the trophy case for those Oscars.)

The teaser-trailer from Silent Hill

• "Silent Hill is based on the Konami game in which Rose (Mitchell) desperately searches for her lost daughter in the mysterious, terrifying town of Silent Hill, where they are trapped."

A short (and generally unappealing) teaser from Ghost Rider

Michael Jackson on verge of default? Beatles catalog could be seized.

"BUSH URGES AMERICANS TO SPY ON EACH OTHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON" ... Calls Invasion of Privacy "The Gift That Keeps On Giving"

AstroPic o' the Day - Star Trails Above Mauna Kea (Cool pic!)

G4 network makes a grab for 'Star Trek' and "TNG"

Evangeline Lilly taking to the beach

What were ESPN's Top Searches in 2005?

• Somebody managed to beat the Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders. I'll bet you can guess who it is.