Saturday

Tuna
Erotique (1994) is a collection of four erotic films on one DVD. In a theatrical release, only three of the films were included, and the missing film is my favorite of the three. These are all written and directed by women, and are decidedly from the women's point of view.

Let's Talk About Sex is by American Lizzie Borden.
Taboo Parlor is by German Monika Treut.
Final Call is by Brazilian Ana Maria Magalh„es.
Won Ton Soup is by Chinese Clara Law

Tonight, the first two films.

"Let's Talk About Sex"

Lets Talk About Sex is the story of a wannabe actress, Kamala Lopez-Dawson, who keeps losing roles to busty blondes. She works doing phone sex, but is becoming increasingly tired of every caller wanting her to be, you guessed it, a busty blonde. She is yelling at her boss that they are doing a disservice by teaching every man with a touch tone phone such a distorted idea of what women really want sexually, and a caller hears her. He wants to play using her fantasies. She has beautiful nudity in her main fantasy, including full frontal, and a great rear shot as well. This film kind of puts the male caller in the woman's role, at least to the point that he gets some idea of a woman's thoughts and emotions, and, for that reason, is not without interest.

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  • Kamala Lopez-Dawson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

    "Taboo Parlor"

    Taboo Parlor takes place in Hamburg, where two lesbians, young Camilla Soeberg, and business woman Priscilla Barnes, decide to bring a man home for novelty. He is expecting his fantasy come true, a three way with two hot women. He gets far more than he bargained for. We see breasts from both women at the start of the film, as they wake up in bed together.

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  • Soeberg and Barnes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

    These two are the less interesting of the four films for me, but still held my interest. The other two films, and my rating, will be in tomorrow's edition.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movies:

    Innocence is an Aussie movie about two lovers who come together again after having split 50 years earlier. It is a gentle story which treats the reunion with authenticity. The geezers are still in love, as it turns out, and they even make love. But they both have children. The woman still has a husband (45 years of marriage). The man is dying of cancer, and his lover is also in poor health, so you know one or both of them will kick the bucket soon. I'm being insensitive. It is actually quite touching. Although Act Three slips into some melodramatics, I don't see how it could have been avoided, given the topic.

    • Kristien van Pellicom (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Angela Noack (1, 2, 3)

    Contempt was a rather lame attempt by the legendary film subversive Godard to make a mass audience satire/drama. He really had no concept of what "mainstream" was, so audiences hated it. He felt like a sell out, so he hated it. Critics like it, though. Shot in Cinemascope, it looks spectacularly good. The DVD transfer is gorgeous, and there is an extra disk filled with special features. Criterion did their usual sterling job on the DVD issue.

    • Brigitte Bardot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

     


    Updates:

    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

    Mailbag:

    • A note from ICMS

      Scoop,

      I've noticed that the theme of the naked Romanian gymnasts keeps coming back. Unfortunately I don't know where you can buy the book as Amazon.co.jp is in Japanese only, so I can't help Sleuth out here. But I can help out with the DVD's.

      Go to the Japanese website that's in English too www.cdjapan.co.jp and type "Milosovici" in the search field. You'll see that there is not one but two DVD's with the gymnasts, namely "Gold Birds" and "Euro Angels". They're all regions NTSC disks but at $ 32 a piece they ain't exactly cheap. But then again, is there something cheap in Japan?

    • A follow up...

      Not to worry sports fans, Tuna has ordered both and we'll have a flood of 'caps soon.


    Other crap:


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Brainscan or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    'Caps from the 80's sword and sorcery classic..."Deathstalker" (1984).
    • Barbi Benton, former Heffer and long time girlfriend of the Hef-man is seen topless.

    • Lana Clarkson, also topless. She went on to star in a couple more sword and sworcery flicks (the "Barbarian Queen" series) and made a busty, but clothed appearance in "Amazon Women on the Moon" (1987).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    A salute to Liv Tyler
    With "The Two Towers" making "mad stacks of phat cash" at the box-office, we figured why not pay tribute to one of the movie's biggest stars.

    Here are a few nude and semi-nude images from throughout her career.

    • Liv in her undies from "Empire Records" (1995)

    • Liv topless, plus an upskirt view in #4 in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie, "Stealing Beauty" (1996). (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Liv, see-thru nipple sighting in public

    • Paparazzi pics of Liv at the beach. Bikini in #1, holding her boobs in #2, and a great thong view in #3. (1, 2, 3)

    • Not nude, but boy oh boy did she look great in "One Night at McCool's" (2001). Excellent cleavage, lingerie 'caps, a bit of bum cleavage, playing with a hose and very soapy. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Yesterday we gave you a look at "Please Don't Eat My Mother" a 1972 skin flick produced by Harry Novak of Boxoffice International Pictures makers of tons of skin flicks of that era. This picture was a take off on Roger Corman's 1960 low budget success "The Little Shop of Horrors". Today we take an extended look at Rene Bond, who was one of the bigger names in both soft core and porn in the sixties & early seventies.

    Our look back for today features Rene in lovemaking scenes with her longtime boy friend Rick Lutze, and a word of warning a couple of this if you look hard enough will give you a peek of Rick's member. Rene has long been a favorite of mine and had a bod to kill for. Speaking of kill...in the final montage she shoots Rick. Next time we will show you what happens to Rene.

    Variety
    Claire Forlani
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

    As is her norm, Forlani looks great, but gives up little in scenes from "Boys and Girls" (2000). I wish I could make a comment about this movie, but the Scoopy Jr. household is a "No-Freddie Prinze Jr.-zone".

    As for the 'caps, C2K did a great job. The best bets are:

    Links #3-6...tight shirts
    Links #9-10...partial side breast exposure
    Links #7 and 11 ...tight pants that show off her bum.
    Link #15...kissing Amanda Detmer

    "100 Girls"
    (1, 2)

    The girls of "100 Girls", by Dann. Excellent collage (Both are the same. link #1 is 850k, link #2 is 275k), with toplessness, undies, cleavage and plenty of good lookin' ladies.

    Joey Lauren Adams Topless in the Kevin Smith comedy "Mallrats" (1995).

    Jessica Simpson From the "where are they now" bin. It seems her career isn't quite as impressive as her cleavage. According to the IMDb, the pop-starlet appeared as herself in the Dana Carvey crap-fest "The Master of Disguise", and her website says she's still around, but to my knowledge her teen idol days have pretty much fizzled out.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    TREKKIES NOT OBSESSIVE NERDS
    Bush-League Trekkies - "Star Trek" cast members Patrick Stewart, Marina ("Troi") Sirtis and Brent ("Data") Spiner were in London to open a "Trek" museum exhibit and used the occasion to defend Trekkies against charges that they are obsessive nerds with no lives. Spiner said that out of over 2,000 attendees at a "Star Trek" convention, only 25 or so will be in makeup and costumes. Stewart added that "Trek" fans include famous classical musicians, university chancellors and members of President Bush's cabinet.

  • You know: obsessive nerds with no lives.
  • Dick Cheney IS Mr. Spock.
  • And those are the ones who show up in costumes.
  • Yeah, but the 25 who show up in makeup and costumes wear it ALL THE TIME.
  • They even have sex lives...Of course, their significant other is a poster of 7 Of 9, but still...


    GOOFY CELEBRITY BETS FOR 2003
    Goodbye, Mr. Chips - The British bookmakers William Hill are offering some weird celebrity bets for 2003. They are paying 8-to-1 odds that Charles and Camilla will get married next year, and 10-to-1 that Britney Spears will get pregnant. It's 500-to-1 that Elvis Presley will be found alive in 2003, and also 500-to-1 that Michael Jackson will get a full head transplant.

  • He needs one: his body seems to be rejecting the old one.
  • But then his new head will need plastic surgery to make the nose smaller...
  • He's advertising for a head supplier, but all he's getting is calls from hookers.
  • He'll need one, if he's going to attend Charles and Camilla's wedding with Elvis.


    FIRE DAMAGES "CELEBRITY MOLE" TAPES
    Celebrity Arsonist - A fire struck the offices of Stone Stanley Entertainment in Hollywood, and the master tapes of ABC's heavily-hyped upcoming series "Celebrity Mole" were soaked with water. It will take 48 hours to learn if they're salvageable, but the company president said, "I don't want to panic. We're optimistic that we have backup tapes we can find somewhere."

  • Oops, sorry! The Mole erased them!
  • If not, they'll air a show in which viewers guess which celebrity torched the tapes because it made him look like a pathetic has-been.
  • I like to think that this fire was an "act of God."