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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Today's stuff (the links lead to my little capsule summaries): I looked at four new DVD releases, three of them with some strong positives if they are your type of movie, but none with any nudity.
  • Small-Time Crooks (New Woody Allen movie, kinda sorta a sequel to Take The Money and Run, 30 years later),
  • Virgin Suicides (Ingmar Bergman meets Barry Levinson. Levinson's half: teenage buddies bond a few decades ago, tell their story from today. Bergman's half: all of their girlfriends commit suicide together.) ,
  • The Loser (This is the one worth skipping, even if it is your type of movie. Upstate kid is hopelessly out of place in sophisticated Greenwich Village university life) and
  • Saving Grace (quirky British comedy about a sweet little old widow who avoids poverty by raising marijuana in her greenhouse).

  • Tuna
    "Point of No Return" (1995)

    Point of No Return (1993) is a remake of the wonderful French film La Femme Nikita staring Anne Parillaud. It remains mostly true to the French version, and wherever it deviates, it makes the film worse, not better. Bridget Fonda does a good job with the role, and gives the part a slightly different slant. She is more pensive, and is quicker to tire of being an assassin. There really was no good reason to make this film, other than to satisfy people who can't or won't read subtitles.

    Fonda is an addict and gang member who shoots a cop during a holdup of a drugstore. She is tried, convicted, and given a fake lethal injection. After her funeral, she awakens in a secret training center for government assassins. She has two choices, learn to be an assassin, or a bullet in the brain. After initial resistance, she gets with the program, and goes into the field. She finds a boyfriend, and discovers that she doesn't much like her new career. While there is no nudity, she is scantily dressed in several scenes. I passed on this one earlier, but a reader requested it.

    IMDB readers say 5.7/10. Maltin hates it at 1 1/2 stars. Berardinelli and Ebert like it a little more at 3 stars. I say 1 1/2 is closer, but would probably rate it higher had I not seen the French version first. US gross was $30m

  • Thumbnails
  • Bridget Fonda (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • pics and comments by Brainscan
    Hannah or Idy Viek or Viet or Tripoldi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) Several items I have been working on for a while fell into place. Here they is.

    Idy Tripoldi is famous. At least that is what the Famous T & A tape would have us believe, 'cuz she is in it (the miserable vidcaps sent along to you were gotten off a second-generation copy taped at light speed). Yet the only movie in which she acted (if pretending to be shocked as a slimey geezer stares at her boobs can be called acting) is Auditions. Now that's what I call famous. But then a series of scans from some late 60's/ early 70's pinup mags showed up to suggest Idy is a model whose name is either Hannah Viet or Hannah Viek (both have been used on Usenet). So what's the big deal? Her breasts. The woman is as thin as a rail but she has the best pair of boobs we at the Brainscan shop have ever seen. Really, I mean it. Better than Jennifer Connelly, better than Rosanna Arquette, better than any of them. Let me show you. (#6 is supposed to be Idy, the others Hannah)

    Moore I noticed yesterday that Chumba had the temerity to step on my turf: page 3 babes;  felt compelled to scent mark by sending along a more obscure but darn fine looking page 3er of yesteryear, Sandra Jane Moore.
    De Liso Ran into some old work on the hard drive, in this case caps that Tuna made of Debra Deliso a while back in her breakout movie, Sorority House Massacre ...
    Kantza ... and a scan of Elina Kantza wearing something furry but skimpy (Robin Williams' chest, you ask?).
    Toupin (1, 2, 3) and Marie-Chantale Toupin, a singer who fits well into the Brainscan Conundrum that says all female singers are attractive enough to be models or actresses even though that can't help them sing, can it? These t-shirt pics are flat-out gorgeous. You know, Scoopy Sr said a while back he would actually purchase a copy of the Hef mag if'n Shania Twain posed for it. Well, boys, I would buy two if Marie-Chantale posed for one, just one, topless pic. Is that too much to ask?
    Helen Hunt Lastly, we turn to the newswires for pictures of stars and starlets wearing revealing clothes. Helen Hunt is hardly a sex symbol but even she is wearing dresses cut down to her toes (what say we find out how it was started this craze of wearing low-cut dresses and all send her $100 for Christmas? Would be worth every penny.)
    Zeta Catherine Zeta-Jones out with the hubster, who I hate because jealousy is a powerful emotion.
    Hillary Swank Hillary Swank. Darn fine actress... but major babe? I don't think so. Put some clothes on, sweetie, for your sake and for ours.
    Marisa Tomei Marisa Tomei is what I consider the best of the lot. Major pokies, as the always eloquent Scoopy Junior would say.
    Nicholas (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) More scans and vidcaps. Let me introduce the new scanner on the Brainscan farm, a young guy from the Republic of Texas. He decided to spend the little time he isn't slaving in the shop on scanning one and only one magazine: Penthouse. So when he was deciding on a name and was leaning toward Brainscan Junior (how friggin lame can you be to take someone else's name and add... junior... to... it... Sorry, my bad)... anyway, I suggested PETScan. He thought it was cool even though his miserable-ass education from the Republic of Texas left him incapable of understanding the double meaning of the name. So PETScan it is and today he offers two things:

    First - Cleaned up and edited scans of Angela Nicholas, who you might remember, Junior (with that steel sieve mind of yours), as one of the babes capped last week from Alien Space Avenger. Don't know the original scanner, who goes by the name Desire, but he did a darn nice job in the first place.

    Hamilton (1, 2, 3, 4) And then these is my own stinking stuff. Wendy Hamilton is truly a former Playperson from the Chicago-based publication who has done a bit better than usual in finding work outside of Andy Sidaris movies. These caps are from the GWTW of nudie ski movies, Ski School 2. Capped every darn frame of the babe because IMHO she is one playtypemate worth looking at twice.
    pics and comments by ICMS
    Hi dear Scoopy !

    First of all my very best wishes to you and jr. and Tuna. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you. You have no idea how good it felt to see that you still thought of me. I even felt tears coming to my eyes, I'm not kidding ! When I announced my retirement it was mainly because I was really fed up with my slow internet connection. At that time I was down to 24,000 bps and only downloading the pictures from the Fun House that interested me took me nearly 2 hours ! Needless to say that this isn't much fun. especially when you came down from 52000 bps six months earlier. And then finally an ADSL connection became available in the area where I live. For something like $ 40/month you can download up to 10 Gb. So I signed up immediately and on December 4 I finally had a high speed connection. At first I was over the moon with joy, I could download all pictures on the Fun House in less than 15 minutes. For the first time in history it took me longer to read the Fun House than to download the pictures. And after 36 hours it was all over. My ISP and phone company Belgacom can't keep up with the increased demand and the ADSL platform in the entire country collapsed ( as did the e-mail for people with free internet access ). This lasted nearly six days and they only admitted it when they got the services running again, although still not completely at full speed. They reckon they will get everything back to normal around January 15 when they should have upgraded the whole system. It felt a bit like you book a vacation in the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Cannes and after 36 hours somebody tells you you've enjoyed the good life long enough and that you have to stay the rest of your vacation in a Motel 6.

    Anyway, when I retired I was working on the Dario Argento film "Tenebre". I was nearly finished and those images have been sitting on my hard drive ever since. So I decided to submit them to you and at the same time it's a good test for the e-mail server of my ISP. So I hope you'll receive these images. Dario Argento says that this is one of his best films although I don't agree. There are some serious holes in the plot which make the story incoherent. He also mentions something about this film being a self-parody but I didn't perceive it that way, only one reviewer on the IMDb did and he thought it was unintentional. Argento also thinks his film has a futuristic look and I agree, if you find a cobblestone paved piazza in a Roman suburb futuristic. But let's move on now to things that matter on the Fun House. The film has quite some nudity in it compared with other Argento films. To make it as complete as possible I also scanned revealing pictures from actresses that didn't disrobe in the movie ( not from the rabid mag of course, sources are Neue Revue and Celebrity Sleuth ).

    The actresses:

  • Mirella D'Angelo can be found in the Encyclopedia in caps from Caligula
  • Veronica Lario (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) the wife of Italian media mogul and former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi
  • Eva Robins
  • Lara Wendel, who was to young to show the goodies in this film but who did a few years later in this Scanman collage
  • Mirella Banti (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Daria Nicolodi (1, 2, 3) , seen here in scans from CS from the movie Shock ( DVD available at Amazon ). Daria was the long time companion of Dario and together they have a beautiful daughter, Asia Argento. You can see "Dario and Daria" together in one scan. I don't know if Asia has a brother, but if she did would his name be Asio?
  • AP
    I forgot to mention AP the other day. He was a real pathfinder in the world of German material, especially on the harder core stuff. Contributed a lot for a long time, but slowed down this year, and he's pretty much retired now, leaving the task to Scanman and the german-celebs guys, but every so often he has a burst of creativity.

    Alida (1, 2, 3) Alida on Big Brother 2 D
    Ursula Andress in that Cannibal God thingy
    Mo Asumang (1, 2, 3) Oops, the German talk show host seems to have forgotten her shirt
    more Big Brother (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) various chickadees from German BB. Manuela, Despina, Sabrina
    in the court of St Jimmy
    Ana Claudia Michels in that Savannah thingy
    Lorraine Pilkington in Human Traffic
    Sabine Azema in "la vie est un roman"
    pics and comments by Sisyphus
    I originally scanned these about a year and a half ago from a copy of Celebrity Skin and dusted them off when I saw a post of shots from the same shoot. Originally scanned on my old Umax and pre Adobe PhotoShop I made them more presentable by adjusting the levels and resizing them a bit. Other than that they're sent "as is". The filenames are the same but the images are not. Consider them re-mastered to some extent. If you're wondering about the original scans, don't. They are no more.

    Krista Allen (1, 2, 3)

    I guess that Dita von Teese, a former rabbit-oriented individual, is now fucking like a bunny, so to speak, as a porn star

    Dita is her porn name. just plain Dita. Here she is with another woman and the famedanaconda negra de amor (1, 2, 3)

    and ...
    Kate Winslet I noticed that this Titanic collage by Zon was nominated as best seamless collage in a web awards thingy elsewhere. I don't remember seeing it before, but hard to argue with it as a champion.
    Dahl This ad, Sophie Dahl posed naked for YSL's Opium, was banned in Britain
    Noemi Lenoir Blackshine must be ill. He's cut back to only about 500 beautiful scans per day. This is more Pirelli action
    Ruth Marshall in "Love and Human Remains"
    Irene Jacob in "Incognito". This is a decent movie, but a poor DVD transfer, and hard to cap from. Even Hugo, the vidcap genius, had a little trouble, but they're still worth a look
    (1, 2, 3) Three Sknib scans of Holly McGuire and Jo Hicks
    Heidi Klum, scan, from Downdude
    Samantha Mathis, "Pump up the Volume", from Downdude
    Kylie Minogue in Spinning Around, from Skease
    Reese Witherspoon, in Twilight, from Skease. Do you think anybody would remember this movie if not for Witherspoon's only memorable screen skin?

    Click Here!