Anyone But My Husband (1975) is a Roberta Findlay hard core film. I have covered many of her soft core roughie films, so it was interesting to see this phase of her career. It actually has a plot. Star C.J. Laing is married to a teacher who prefers young women (she is too old at 22), and is feeling neglected. She visits a shrink, who advises her to have affairs. With the help of her girlfriend, she starts off with an artist, who proceeds to string her up and whip her as foreplay. Next, she tries a poet, who bores her to tears reading poetry before the sex, and wants to marry her instantly after the sex. Finally, her girlfriend takes her to a gypsy fortune teller. The friend ends up in bed with Tony "El Goncho" Perez, famous for a long dick with a severe hook in it. Meanwhile, the gypsy eats her out and fists her. In the exciting conclusion, she deep throats "the hook."

This DVD from Alpha Blue is the most complete ever shown on home video, with extended and explicit scenes of champagne bottle masturbation, fisting, and whipping. Laing, and three unidentifiable women show everything. Findlay certainly demonstrated a style here. Rather than expensive fades for scene transitions, she cuts to some inanimate object, then to the next scene. The music choices were also noteworthy. You haven't really lived until you have seen a couple on a waterbed screwing to a Viennese waltz. The audio and video quality is as bad as you would expect from a vintage hard core. Further, the formerly missing scenes were in very bad condition. This is only of interest from a historical standpoint. Even as a hard core sex film, I can't award more than a D. I am glad I saw it, but again. only for the historical interest.

She Hate Me (2004) - day 3

After expanding my comments for the Movie House, I realize there is one very cool thing about this movie. Spike Lee employed a totally forgotten actor who once played one of the most memorable roles in history, then shortly later disappeared from films for a decade. Can you identify him? (Jeez, why do I feel that the last two sentences should have been written by Casey Kasem?) I always wondered what happened to this guy.  This is for major movie buffs. His picture is near the bottom of the Movie House page, opposite the nudity report. Don't read the text until your answer is locked in.

Here's the complete nudity summary for the film:

• Kerry Washington (1, 2) - in a thong before sex, and seen topless in a flashback sex scene - her male fiance makes a surprise visit - only to walk in on her while she's making nice-nice with her first female lover (an unidentified woman who shows her breasts and buns in brief flashes)

• Paula Jai Parker - a trash-talkin' lez, if ever there was one (1, 2)

• An unknown lesbian women - has sex with Jack while the event is photographed by her lover

• Savannah Haske - as a neurotic lesbian who talks way too much

• Bai Ling - there should be a nipple here somewhere, but I guess we'll have to wait for DVD to get a good look at it. Given the monstrous size of Bai Ling's nipples, you'd think it would be more obvious.

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Once again, I am going to ask you to wander over to The Movie House to read the comments and see the picture.

Anyway, here's my take own on the film clips. These are not as large as some of the other versions we have seen, but the quality is good, and unlike the previous clips, this version is a slightly different widescreen theatrical aspect ratio. I can't really come up with any logic that can assign a special advantage to that. I did make a slightly longer version of the three-way sex scene.

• Chloe swallows the salami (zipped .wmv)

• Chloe three-way (zipped. wmv)

• A couple of collages. We've seen the BJ in great detail, so here are some of the other moments, focusing on Chloe's one moment of lower body exposure. (1, 2, 3)

Other Crap:

• The New York Times evaluates Firefox - The Fox Is in Microsoft's Henhouse (and Salivating)
• Extreme sports - guy straps on a camera and parachutes out of a top story window at New York's Palace Hotel. He survived the jump, but unfortunately was carrying his wallet and was promptly mugged upon landing.
• Obi Wan Kenobi goes shopping for a car. This is quite funny.
• Some new pics from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Click on the picture on the far left, under "galleri"
• The world's greatest movie critic, El Filthedor, offers this week's review. The Filthy Critic weighs in on Spanglish. "Sanctimonious claptrap. Not much more to say. Writer-director James L Brooks made a movie of such stupendous self-absorption, shallowness, and of interest to so few that it hardly needs discussing. It's a story that will appeal only to wealthy assholes in LA with guilt complexes about their immigrant servants, and who think that deifying them is better than giving them Christmas bonuses."
• The 25 Weirdest Stories of the Year
• MTV Reaches Global Milestone - 100 channels - by opening the first one in Africa.
• The 10 Dumbest Things President Bush Said in 2004 (Not a joke list, but real Bush quotes). I don't often agree with end-of-year lists, but I think this guy did a good job on the list, and picked the right one for #1: "Our enemies ... never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
• I'll bet you can't guess who is being discussed here. "She's going to be a huge movie star. She's like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth." I'll give you a hint. The quote is from her dad.
• Economy of tiny island town rises from Viagra.: "Barceloneta has come to be known as 'Ciudad Viagra.' The steel industry put Pittsburgh on the map. Automobiles did the same for Detroit. And beer made Milwaukee famous.
  Can the sex-pill industry have the same potency for this community of 22,000 residents?"
• TorrentBits.org and SuprNova.org Go Dark. If you don't "get it", these are two of the top Bittorrent sites. Bittorrent is a co-op technology used to trade movies and such without requiring the host site to absorb the massive bandwidth costs. Unlike traditional methods for downloading massive files, bittorrent actually gets faster as more people request a file.
• Captain Kirk's Ancestor Not Born
• The Top Hoaxes of 2004. Read about them and vote for your favorite, if you care to.
• Hey, from the looks of this Friday picture, Jacko will have no problem convincing a jury he's a normal guy. Cripes, he looks like a new Batman villain created in a laboratory - a DNA splice between Joker and Penguin.
• The ultimate cruise - sail to Nova Scotia and listen every night to Garrison Keillor. For only $3800 a person. Is that a good price? It's hard to compare, but I'd have to say it's about the same as a week at a sleep-disorder clinic, if that helps you choose.
• Dubya named Time's 'Person of the Year', and will now get to compete against Jude Law, People's "Sexiest Man of the Year" in the finals of the Celebrity Bowl.
• It was not a very good weekend at the box office - Lemony Snicket opened at $30 million, well below expectations for the $140 million movie.
  • Spanglish, an $80 million dollar movie, opened in a weak third, barely beating the Polar Express.
  • The Flight of the Phoenix didn't even make a blip in the radar, and actually finished below Christmas with the Kranks.
  • The only really good news was the performance of The Polar Express, which barely dropped from last week, and has now passed $120 million after a weak start. The total for Polar Express is now sitting at five times the opening weekend, and it will probably reach 7x. Films typically finish with about three times the opening weekend. (I suppose the record holder is My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which finished with 80x the opening weekend by becoming a gradual word-of-mouth blockbuster.)
• We now know why Fox kept the new Dennis Quaid movie a secret. When critics finally got to see it, only 29% gave Flight of the Phoenix positive reviews. We don't know much about how the movie-going public feels about it, since it is basically playing to empty theaters, averaging about 20 people per screening.
• BIN LADEN DEMANDS TO BE NAMED TIME MAGAZINE'S PERSON OF THE YEAR, threatens to cancel subscription.
  • At Time magazine, spokesperson Bonnie DiMarco said that while Mr. bin Laden was “very much under consideration,” he faced stiff competition from other Person of the Year contenders including the multi-platinum-selling artist Usher.
• It's getting to be quiet a battle for the most acting credits at IMDb. I'm not sure if there are others, but these two seem to be the champs: Mel Blanc - 903 credits, versus Ron Jeremy -865. Given that Jeremy is still alive and a mere 51 years old, you have to think he can take it eventually, even though he's down to a mere dozen credits per year. (In his prime, 40 a year was a possibility.)
• China declares winner of "Plastic-Surgery Beauty Pageant", and it wasn't Cher. The winner, seemingly a perfect Oriental beauty, was Rosemary O'Malley of County Cork.
• Tara Reid has a sister? Word. They have a lot in common.
• 'Christmas In The Stars' - The Star Wars Christmas Album!
• The Weekend Update site has added the summary and video from the Colin Farrell show.
• The five stars of Desperate Housewives, Teri Hatcher, Marcia Cross, Eva Longoria, Felicity Huffman and Nicolette Sheridan, were offered more than $2 million each to pose nude for Playboy Magazine.
• Daniel Negreanu takes 1st place at the WPT Bellagio event - making him 2004 Player of the Year and the All Time Top WPT Money Winner
• A new international trailer for XXX: State of the Union

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

Eine Frau für gewisse Stunden (1999)

I don't know much about Christiane Krüger in "Eine Frau für gewisse Stunden" (A woman for certain hours, 1985). I think it's clear in the following clips for what kind of hours this woman is suited in this movie. Christiane is the daughter of a well known German actor and she doesn't do a bad job herself. She's a typical teutonic natural beauty although she is not a real blonde as you can deduct from the collages from "Little Mother" in her own volume in the Encyclopedia. She was 39 when this was filmed but many women would give an arm and a leg to look like her at that age. She shows mostly breasts and buns in these clips, but there might be a very short glimpse at her pubes in one of the clips.

• Christiane Krueger 1 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Christiane Krueger 2 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Christiane Krueger 3 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Christiane Krueger 4 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Christiane Krueger 5 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)

This was directed by Bigas Luna, the Catalan director who made "Jamón, jamón" and "The Ages of Lulu". According to the IMDb scores, "Bámbola" is considered to be his worst effort. The comments indicate that it is a strange, tasteless movie.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and start making money promoting the Fun House!

Some assorted video clips from the Ghost today, zipped .wmvs as usual.

• Noelle Evans topless in a brief scene from the lo-budget-giant-creature-thriller, "Frankenfish" (2004).
• A topless unknown in another scene from "Frankenfish".

• Evangeline Lilly looking great while all wet in her undies in a scene from the pilot episode of the new hit series on ABC, "Lost".

• Brandy Ledford, the former Pet and "Baywatch" babe stripping off her clothes in two scenes from the direct-to-vid movie "Indecent Behavior" (1993). (1, 2)

Scoops,

Today we go back to 1992 for a look at Jeanne Tripplehorn having rough sex with Michael Douglas in "Basic Instinct".

• Jeanne Tripplehorn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Next up...here's something a little different. Back before computers and The Fun House, a lot of us old timers got our thrills when we were youngsters by hanging around the corner newsstand and ogling the covers of men's adventure magazines featuring many "Damsel in Distress" covers of women in tattered or revealing clothes. So here are a few samples from days gone by.

• Damsels in Distress (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Aura Grimolyte, topless during a sex scene. This is her only IMDb credit.

• Kerry Washington, the co-star of the Ray Charles biopic "Ray". Here she is baring breasts and bum.

• Paula Jai Parker, toplessness.

• Savannah Haske, also going topless.

Here are scenes from another movie not yet available on DVD....The French fim "Qui perd gagne!" (2004).

• Elsa Zylberstein, is topless and shows off a great posterior.

Counterstrike: episode Bad Guys (series finale)
The series ended with a bang. Not only did Nancy Cser flash a boob but she had another wardrobe malfunction when she stepped out the shower and her towel rode up her legs revealing her beaver.

• Nancy Cser (1, 2, 3, 4): underwear, bare back, boob flash, and the Booger "we got bush" moment.
• Lisa Howard: hoed up as undercover cop, tight sweater and legs.

The Jane Show
Recently aired pilot for Canadian Sex and the City knock-off.

• Teresa Pavlinek: cleavage, skivvies having sex.
• Wendy Lyon: cleavage.

First Wave (tv series)
Various episodes drawn at random.

• Stacy Grant: partial boob in sex scene in pilot episode "Subject 117".
• Rebecca Reichert: brassiere having fully clothed alien sex in "Crazy Eddie".
• Aundrea MacDonald: boobs almost falling out of skimpy alien costume in "Crazy Eddie".
• Ona Grauer: full dorsal nudity in "Lost Souls".

Rescue Me: episode Leaving
Ashlie Atkinson shows her beer can crushing thunder thighs. She's from Little Rock, Arkansas which makes her a prime Slick Willy ho.

• Ashlie Atkinson: more mega cleavage.

Paradise Falls: season II
Collage of the best nude scenes of the second season which ended last week.

• Left to right: Cherilee Taylor (now Cherilee Garofano), Kim Poirier, Chantal Quesnelle, Raven Dauda, Danielle Hampton, and Michelle Latimer.

Da Vinci's Inquest: episode Shoulda Been a Priest
Another autopsy scene by an uncredited actress.

• unknown: boobs.

11th Hour: episode Bedfellas
Last Saturday night's episode. Various castmembers end up in the sack. Someone has been posting nude photos of Megan (Sonja Smits) on the internet. Jennifer Baxter joins the cast.

• Sonja Smits: cleavage, bare shoulders after sex.
• Waneta Storms: bare shoulders after sex.
• Jennifer Baxter: obligatory tight sweater shot.
• Sherry Schell: pokies as guest star.

Cold Squad: episode Death, Lies and Videotape
Unfortunately this episode is not about a sex videotape starring Megan.

• Jennifer Copping: very nice cleavage.
• Laura Pavan Simson: all hoed up. She's the lead singer for the band Shine.
• Rachel Hayward: leg, slight cleavage.
• Tamara Craig Thomas: having sex in elevator but could be using a brassiere double.

Bonus Tamara Craig Thomas...

• Tromeo & Juliet: pokies in Troma classic.
• Dead Man's Curve: sexy.