"Nightmare Sisters"

Nightmare Sisters (1987), known as Sorority Succubus Sisters at IMDB, Concerns three nerd sorority sisters who invite three nerd guys to their house for a party, try a seance with a crystal ball that one of them bought at a flea market, and are turned into a sex starved succubus.

The first third or so has the girls as nerds, fully dressed. Then the succubus possesses them, and they are suddenly beautiful and naked save skimpy panties. There next act is to all three climb into the bath together, fully nude. The guys figure out that the girls are possessed, and find an exorcist in the phone book. This is an indifferent transfer of an obviously low budget horror film. However, the three naked sorority sisters are Linnea Quigley and Brinke Stevens. One of the nerd guys is Richard Gabai in his first film.

The nudity in the film almost entirely has all three women in the same scene, so I decided to use one top and make these group images. Now for the good news. The DVD contained a stills gallery for each of the three women. These are lovely images, and include full frontal for each. I have presented these without additional ornament. IMDB readers have this at 3.0 of 10. The film itself is obviously very low budget, and none of the caste take it all too seriously. Hats off to these three actresses, who permitted filming them looking absolutely terrible as nerds at the start of the film. This is a D+.

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  • Brinke Stevens (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Group (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
  • Linnea Quigley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    I Capture the Castle (2003)

    I mentioned some weeks ago that Love Actually was not just a Hugh Grant movie, but was ALL Hugh Grant movies rolled into one. By the same token, I Capture the Castle is not just a film of a juvenile romantic novel. It is a film of all juvenile romance novels. I mean the poster for this sucker should have Fabio shirtless.

    Get this plot:

    The story is told by an 18 year old girl through her diary, starting with the time when her brilliant author of a father moved the family into a picturesque old English castle. Except for one sister, each of the members of the family is brilliant, and each matches his or her genius with eccentricity. The one sister who is not a genius, is beautiful beyond imagining.

    The father is not writing. The mother is not selling her paintings. Since they are eccentric types, not the kind who work as shop clerks, and since they live out in the countryside where there is no meaningful employment anyway, they live a life of genteel poverty, or at least as genteel as is possible without any money in a 600 year old castle.

    As it turns out, they rent the castle, and they are about to be evicted when a turn of fate takes control of their landlord's estate from some impersonal bankers to a family of very rich Americans who come to England to check out their newly inherited English assets. The principal new landlords are two very handsome and single young men, who take one look at the poor girls (the diary writer and her too beautiful-for-words sister), and decide that eviction is not in their immediate future.

    Oh, yeah. Did I mention that the gardener is the greatest, most humble man in the world, has worked for the family without wages for the past seven years, and is so good looking that he makes Brad Pitt look like Marty Feldman.

    From that point on, you can guess how it develops. Three pleasant and handsome young men, two eligible young women. Rich men, poor but beautiful women. All five of them fall in love with one of the others, and of course none of them loves anyone who loves back in return. Also, stepmother and father get involved with some romantic flings of their own.

    You have the ingredients there for a really sucky film, what I call a "so" film, because they are usually characterized by excessive use of the emphatic "so" and the even more emphatic "ever so", as in "I do so love horses, Uncle Nigel", or "I do so want him, ever so much".

    As you can imagine, I was prepared to throw up a few times during the screening, and I had barf bags handy, but they were never necessary. In fact, it is a pretty good movie. I liked the characters. The script is witty, and even the sappiest parts felt authentic enough that I never felt a break in the dramatic illusion. I just let it flow over me, and it wasn't bad at all.

    I suppose most people reading these words are not readers of Romance Novels, but if you do like that kind of material, this one is downright tolerable.


    Speaking of things that sound like they suck ....

    50 First Dates (2004)

    I haven't seen this movie or even a screener. It comes out months from now. I made this capture from the trailer.

    This is Memento turned around as a comedy. Drew Barrymore has the exact same condition that the guy had in Memento. Every morning, when she wakes up, so has no recollection of what happened the day before or in any part of her recent past. Adam Sandler, therefore, has to have a "first date" with her every time they go out. Rob Schneider is on hand because ... well, frankly, because he needs the work and Sandler takes care of his friends, but I guess the ostensible reason is to provide wacky comedy. The trailer is linked down below in Other Crap.




    Dear Scoop:

    Just FYI, Emma's sideways nude scene in ANGELS IN AMERICA, the flaming midair sex, was a body double with Emma's head grafted on via CGI.  My source is this article about the special effects in the miniseries:

    Thanks for a continually awesome site...




    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updates, and Le Gran Charles wishes everyone a Joyeux Noel.



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Hot Pics of the Day!
    Thanks to LC for these.

    • The Sylvia Plath bio-pic, "Sylvia" starring Gwyneth Paltrow only made about 18 cents at the box office, and already has a DVD release date for February '04. In the meantime, here is Paltrow topless in 'caps from a screener.

    • Another look at Diane Keaton fully nude in scenes from the current #1 movie at the box office, "Something's Gotta Give" (2003).

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Cannibal Girls" (1973)
    Early Canadian comedy horror and cult classic starring future SCTV comedians Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin.

    'Caps and Review of "Magnum Force" By CKRoach

    It is very rare that a sequel to a good movie turns out to be as good as the original. It is even rarer that such a movie is better than the original feature. Magnum Force is one of the few (I can count them on my fingers) movies that fits this category. The original film "Dirty Harry" introduces the character of "Dirty Harry Callahan." Once again played by Clint Eastwood. This movie makes him almost real.

    This film is an early John Milius screenplay directed by Ted Post. It probably represents the point in Clint Eastwood's career when he becomes a solid superstar.

    What makes Magnum Force better than the original film? I believe the answer is the story. In the original film, we meet Harry and see how he shoots his way from scene to scene. The story develops around conflict with his boss while chasing a crazed serial killer. Unfortunately both the killer and the boss are simple "Cardboard Villains."

    The sequel is far from this. Instead of the worn out "Conflict with the bad guy boss" story, we have something far more chilling. In this movie Harry is pitted against a group of rogue police officers that are systematically killing off the local mob leaders. This group also includes another bad guy boss (can't get away from it) played by Hal Holbrook, who is trying to keep Harry off of the trail of the rogue officers. When Harry begins to get close he is asked to join the death squad. To reveal any further will spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it.

    Also in this movie we see a human side of Harry as he gets picked up on by a lovely Japanese lady named "Sunny." This role is played by Adele Yoshioka. Harry even saves her life by preventing her from opening a mailbox rigged with a bomb.

    The movie also includes early performances by Robert Urich, David Soul, Tim Matheson and in an uncredited, pre-fame role, Suzanne Somers.

    The DVD version includes some behind the scenes material, as well as the usual trailers. The transfer quality is only mediocre. Fortunately it is priced most places at under $15 so it is a good value.

    The move gets 6.6/10 from the IMDb.

    Suzanne Somers shows some skin during a pool party given by some mobsters. Adele Yoshioka appears nude in Harry's apartment, but she stays in the shadows and hides her breasts with her hair.

    Karen King
    Lisa Lewis
    Lori Loughlin

    Scenes from the R-rated black comedy about the used car business, "Suckers". King bares all 3 B's. Lewis shows her breasts and side bum views in an energetic sex scene. Loughlin has a sex scene, but doesn't show anything.

    Kathleen Kinmont
    (1, 2)

    One of the many former Mrs. Lorenzo we she a thong view, side breast views and barely keeping the big'uns in a bra in scenes from "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers" (1988).

    Isabelle Truchon Nice toplessness in scenes from the 1990 B-movie "Back Stab", starring James Brolin.

    Joanna Samojlowicz Fully nude side view with breast exposure in scenes from "The White Raven" (1998). Without even watching this puppy, you can probably guess the quality of entertainment just by looking at the cast and crew. Directed by Andrew Stevens and starring Ron Silver and Roy Scheider...'nuff said.

    Kim Dickens Topless in scenes from the made for Showtime series "Out of Order".

    Jennifer Lopez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    J-Lo in "Gigli". DeadLamb 'caps featuring cleavage, pokies and of course her really large rump stuffed into tight clothes.

    Jewel Shepard
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the B-movie regular topless and showing her bum in scenes from nobody has ever heard of called "Mission: Killfast" (1991).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    And #1: The WWE - Diane Sawyer's TV interview with President Bush following Saddam Hussein's capture drew 11.3 million viewers, losing its time slot to Mark Harmon's CBS series "Navy NCIS" (12 million) and Paris Hilton's "The Simple Life" (11.9 million).

  • So ABC has just hired Paris Hilton to interview Saddam Hussein.
  • Next week, Diane Sawyer will be inseminating a cow while wearing a miniskirt.
  • Why would anyone want to listen to Bush talk when they could be learning how military people catch bad guys from Mark Harmon?

    Why Are They In The Hospital? - A survey by Novation, which buys equipment for hospitals, found that American hospitals are having to buy expensive reinforced toilets and oversized beds to deal with a growing number of severely obese patients. 17 percent of hospitals said they were getting so many grossly fat patients, they've had to redesign hospital wards to handle them.

  • They're having to replace the gurneys with forklifts.
  • They now have to buy ambulances from Humvee.
  • They're giving people liposuction in the lobby because they can't fit through the operating room door.
  • On the plus side, at least these patients will eat hospital food.
  • The problem may solve itself, since most of them are there to get their stomachs stapled.