Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) and The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966)

There is no nudity in these classic Sergio Leone Westerns, although I was hoping to catch some. (Well, to be technical, Eli Wallach's ass makes an appearance in TGTBaTU.) Both films have both been restored to absolutely pristine condition for widescreen anamorphic DVDs, and they look mah-velous. My comments are too extensive for this page, considering they have nothing to do with nudity. If you care to read them, they are here.

The closest either film comes to female nudity is the following Claudia Cardinale material  from Once Upon a Time. The fifth collage does not include a nipple, although it seems possible. That is an optical illusion caused by a wayward piece of fabric. Sorry.


Claudia Cardinale


Other Crap:

"The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge."

Global warming seems a lot worse if you're a polar bear.

Bad Santas run wild in Auckland

  • I love this quote: "A police spokesman described it as fairly average behaviour from an organised group of idiots."
  • Who would have thought Reindeer Games was such a popular movie in New Zealand?

Here is the original source for the assertion that the President called the Constitution 'just a goddamned piece of paper'

  • The quote has supposedly been corroborated by three anonymous sources, presumably from the GOP leadership on the Hill, but in any case three people alleged to have been present when the words were spoken.

A Gallery of Hubble's Greatest Images

Garciaparra, Dodgers agree on a contract.

  • The team just had the second-worst year in L.A. Dodger history, so they are looking for help
  • Nomar is only 32, and may be capable of returning to his peak form. If so, the Dodgers made a helluva pickup, because he's a terrific hitter and can fill in at almost any position. If not? Well, it's only a one year deal.

No ham for Christmas: Muslim menu for Aussie hospital

  • To me, the oddest thing about this article is this quote: "We'll still make Christmas special – we've got prawns and all sorts of other special treats." For people so senstiive to Muslim dietary requirements, they really don't seem to be equally worried about respecting the Jewish dietary laws.

VIDEO. What every women should give her man for Christmas? "Bigger Jugs And A Shaved Pussy"

Check out this commercial for the 1970 Dodge Charger

VIDEO: The Backwards Bowler

Film Jerk's Early Report for December 18

  • "This week's Early Report covers the 53 known new movies opening in theatres or expanding their runs between Wednesday December 21 and Friday January 27"

UK nights

  • Some outstanding photographic representations of the UK at night

Famed military historian calls Iraq "the most foolish war since Emperor Augustus in 9 BC sent his legions into Germany and lost them".

  • Wow - the silliest war of the entire Christian era? The President should be proud. That covers a lot of ground. More foolish than Crimea? More foolish than Napoleon's invasion of Russia? More foolish than the Bay of Pigs invasion? More foolish than The Children's Crusade? Sillier than the Honey War of 1839? More foolish than Italy's two wars with Ethiopia? (Hell, I think the first one was actually called The Extremely Foolish War, and we even kicked its sorry ass!)

Robert Novak leaving CNN

  • The Douchebag of Liberty (aka The Prince of Darkness) will be making the move to PBS.
  • Nah, I'm just fuckin' witcha! Fox News, of course.

US cinema legend Woody Allen said he is a 'mediocre' director of 'miserable work'."

  • "People think I'm an intellectual because I wear glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money".
  • Woody is not exhibiting false modesty. He genuinely thinks that is a fair self-assessment. He's way too hard on himself, of course. He's not exactly Robert Rodriguez in the visual imagination department, but his limitations as a director are more than offset by his writing abilities. The man has been nominated for "best screenplay" something like 13 times, so I think it's a safe conclusion that he knows his way around a script.
  • And, well, he's also been nominated as the best director four times, winning for Annie Hall. I really like what he did as a director in some films, like Zelig, Manhattan, and The Purple Rose of Cairo. Both Annie Hall and Manhattan are rated among the IMDb Top 250.
  • Summing up his giant filmography as "mediocre", Allen said "Match Point" (2005), "Husbands and Wives" (1992) and "The Purple Rose of Cairo" (1985) were "three films of mine that are good films. Those are good films by anybody's standards".

Shock. The Colts lose!

  • The win was critical to the Chargers, who are batting desperately for the sixth and final AFC playoff spot. (According to the CBS playoff update, if the season ended right this minute, the Chargers would lose that spot to the Steelers on a tie-breaker.)

Weekend Box Office Results, December 16-18, 2005

  • Kong was off about $13 million from the predictions we normally cite, although other industry sources had pegged it even higher. The sum of the top ten was off by the same thirteen million.
  • I think it is entirely possible to make too much of Kong's underperformance. This weekend was 22% AHEAD of the same weekend last year, and that's something which probably should be viewed as half-full rather than half-empty. Perhaps one might conclude that the predictions were just too high all around, and that it was not reasonable to expect $100-$120 million from Kong and Narnia, during a weekend which produced only $99 million from all of the top twelve films added together in 2004! If Kong and Narnia had actually churned out $120 million together, as some optimists thought, this weekend would have beaten last year by 60%. To be honest, I just don't know how much of Kong's "underperformance relative to expectations" is attributable to Kong, and how much is attributable to the expectations.
  • Looking at it another way, the Konger took in $50 million on his opening weekend. Opening at the same time of year in 2001, The Fellowship of the Ring took in about $47 million against much easier competition than that faced by Kong. Ticket prices are higher now, so Kong sold fewer tickets than Fellowship, but it is fair to say that Kong approximately matched Fellowship, which went on to gross nearly a billion world-wide.
  • Brokeback Mountain broke forward substantially this week. Although not expected to crack the top ten, it finished eighth overall, despite being in only 69 theaters. It accumulated a whopping $34,000 per screen. Memoirs of a Geisha also fanned its way into the top twelve, with $23,000 per screen on 52 screens.
  • Although it could not match Kong hype-for-hype, the week's other opening, The Family Stone, did not get ignored by moviegoers. It did well, grossing 30% above expectations, with about $13 million in some 2400 theaters.

Approximately 1000 Anne Hathaway screencaps from Havoc, including all the good stuff

Time names Bono, Bill and Melinda Gates Persons of Year

  • They just didn't say which year

"Ladies' Man: Kong and his women."

Michael J Nelson has finally been given his ultimate vehicle: the commentary track for a colorized version of PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Mike is the MST3000 guy. Don't miss his review of 90s monkey movies.

Top Science Stories of 2005

The Worst Cars of 2005

Tera Patrick Topless in Howard Stern's Tickle chair

The new heavyweight champ is seven feet tall and weighs 323. He's also 43-0.

  • He's a Russian, and he will crush you.
  • Seriously, the crowd thought he should have lost the decision, but I suppose everybody would be rooting for the guy who is a foot shorter.

Jack Anderson, the Pulitzer Prize-winning muckraking columnist died Saturday. He was 83.

  • Anderson took over Drew Pearson's column when that pioneer retired.
  • You know he had to be a decent guy, because he was hated by Joe McCarthy and was on Nixon's famous "enemies list"

Ashlee Simpson collapses in Tokyo

  • She was rushed to a hospital, but her concert was completed, as planned.
  • She may miss several more concerts, but there is no need to reschedule them.

"Nobel Peace Prize Winner Calls for Total Annihilation of the U.S." Hey, that's new. They usually only call for the violent destruction of Israel.

"A major study recently concluded that every individual on the planet is an incompetent buffoon."

  • "The results, while unsurprising to most laymen, nonetheless confirm scientifically for the first time an impression that has been shared by most members of the human race since, approximately, the dawn of time. A spokesman for the institute said they were 'fairly pleased with the results, but not really sure what to do with them now that we have them'."


  • Movie Reviews:

    Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




    "Sin City"

    Sin City (2005) was reviewed extensively by Scoopy. I agree that it is a masterpiece of noire, and an amazing achievement. The only place where we disagree at all is in the stories. I did not find any of the four stories engaging, but I was spellbound by the atmosphere, and how faithfully Robert Rodriguez created the mood of the graphic novels they were based on. The special edition DVD set is full of interesting features, most especially the green screen version. It is amazing how the actors were able to perform with no scenery or props, and how they were able to create the noire graphic novel from actors in front of plain green.

    The fact that I didn't enjoy the story really didn't detract from admiring the accomplishment here. Carla Gugino shows breasts and buns, and Jaime King shows breasts. This is a B-. Even though it is a graphic novel brought to screen, and full of gratuitous violence and sex, it is done so well, that any serious film lover will want to see it.

    Carla Gugino

    Jaime King

    "Next Stop, Greenwich Village"

    Next Stop, Greenwich Village (1976) is an autobiographical comedy by Paul Mazursky about his days in Greenwich Village in 1953. He moved away from his Jewish mother from hell, brilliantly played by Shelly Winters, to become part of the Bohemian scene and become an actor. He worked as a juicer in a health bar to pay for his cheap apartment and acting classes. He was also having a sexual relationship with a Jewish American Princess, played by Ellen Greene in her first film. She went on to star as Audrey in The Little Shop of Horrors musical. It is sort of a slice of life comedy featuring eccentric village personalities, all based on people he actually knew.

    He lovingly got the period exactly right, and their wasn't a bad performance in the film. The photography was wonderful, and Mazursky was nearly anal about getting the period detail correct. There was only one problem. You remember the autobiography of John Wilkins? Of course not. It was never made, mostly because nothing in his life was especially interesting to anyone but him, and possibly not even him. That is the problem with this film. Nothing in that stage of Mazursky's life was compelling to me.

    Greene is seen several times in 50's lingerie, and shows her left breast in a very mild sex scene.

    IMDb readers have this at a respectable 6.6 and it garnered several nominations both for writing and Shelly Winters' performance. Ebert liked it as a period snapshot and awarded 3 stars. As uninterested as I personally was, this is properly a C as an accurate picture of Bohemian society in 1953 Greenwich Village, and it does have a few laughs along the way.

    Ellen Greene


    Today from the Ghost...the very sexy Asian-American model and actress Nicole Oring doing the the softcore thing on an episode of the late night cable series, "Sex Games Vegas".

    Nicole Oring

    Today a couple of quick "Babes in Bondage" from "Creeps"

    Rhonda Griffin, no nudity just a little bra peek.

    Rhonda Griffin

    Next, Kristen Norton is stripped down to her panties and menaced by the Creeps.

    Kristen Norton

    Then we do some "Hankster Light" from TV Land the Desperate Housewives".

    Eva Longoria in the tub and looking very sexy.

    Eva Longoria

    Teri Hatcher naked on her front lawn (of course we really don't see anything it's Television).

    Teri Hatcher

    Finally, Nicollette Sheridan coming over to my house to wash my car.

    Nicollette Sheridan

    The Trip (1967) was directed by Roger Corman and is a nice time capsule that deserves to be opened once in a while. Now is such an occasion and it allows us to see some mild nudity by Susan Strasberg. Breasts and buns should briefly be visible in these 4 clips with psychedelic lighting circumstances, all perfectly fitting in its own time frame. I think you'll have by now figured out what kind of trip Susan and her lover are on. We have a beautiful collage by Graphic Response from this scene in the March 15, 2001 back issue, in case you want a quiet look at Susan.

    Susan Strasberg (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Let me add some more naughty bits to today's contribution with 2 short clips from the German film Verliebte Jungs (2001). On nude duty are Alexandra Neldel who shows off her big breasts and a hint of pubes, and Idil Üner who demonstrates in the bath tub that she is equally well-matched in the breast department.

    Alexandra Neldel

    Idil Üner


    A little this and that today.

    Some paparazzi things. Some edits of raw caps from "Wild Things", with Denise Richards' kick ass bod in a starring role and a bunch of things by collaborative adventure with Tuna.

    About the latter: I have a very good idea who is going to win nude scene of the year. Former Disney star. Wunnerful body. Nekkid a fair bit. But Glori-Anne Gilbert in Lust Connection might should oughtta get a vote or two because she must have spent half the movie starkers. An idiosyncratic point of view, I know.


    Andie MacDowell Ashley Olsen Carmen Electra Heather Graham Rachel McAdams
    Denise Richards
    "Wild Things"
    Angelique Pettijohn
    "Mother Knows Best"
    Avy Scott
    "Lust Connection"
    Ava Cadell
    Julie K. Smith
    "Lust Connection"
    Jennifer Loto
    "Touch Me"

    Glori-Anne Gilbert
    "Lust Connection"
    Karen Mani
    "Avenging Angel"
    Kathryn Erbe
    "Dream with the Fishes"
    Laura Bottrell
    "40 Year Old Virgin"
    Reiko Ike
    "Girl Boss Guerilla"




    Part 2 of Vejiita's excellent coverage of the early 90's made for cable series "Eden" begins with Carolyn Lowery showing a bit of bum as well as her very lovely chest.

    Colleen McDermott, also topless in scenes from "Eden".

    Deirdre Imershein, also baring breasts in a couple of love scenes from "Eden". Die-hard Trek fans may recognize her from guest spots on "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine".

    Elisa Gabrielli topless and having some lesbo and straight fun in more scenes from "Eden".

    Elizabeth Whitcraft...yup, even more breast exposure from "Eden".

    Still more boobage from "Eden". This time it's Katie Mitchell's turn.

    Naturally, Michelle Moffett also goes topless. She also adds just a hint of bum to the mix in even more scenes from "Eden".

    Wes Craven's ex-wife Mimi Craven is partially covered with suds in this scene from "Eden", but we still her bum and breasts.

    Our final look at the babes of "Eden" is Terry Donahoe showing off her robo-goodies.

    Swedish babe Helena af Sandeberg goes topless and also bares a bit of bush and a side bum view in these scenes from 2003's "Virus au paradis".

    "Fast Times..." and "Hudsucker Proxy" star Jennifer Jason Leigh going topless in "Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle" (1994)

    French actress Stéphanie Pasterkamp shows off her beautifully slender body in scenes from "Demain nous appartient" (2003).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The 40 Year Old Virgin" (Unrated)
    2005's comedy The 40 Year Old Virgin is funny. Unfortunately, it may not be funny enough. It has enough down spots, unfunny and even boring, to keep it from being a truly great comedy, but the funny parts are extremely funny, so it's certainly worth watching.

    A 40-year-old single guy is happy with his job in an electronics superstore, and happy with his life that includes collectable action figures, comic books, video games, and good friends.

    During a night out with his friends/co-workers, he accidentally reveals he's a virgin. Naturally, they decide to make it their mission in life to get him laid. Things go badly, which leads to some of the funnier parts of the movie.

    A worthwhile effort that could have been even more but still generates a lot of laughs. It appears that the unrated DVD version has a LOT more stuff than the theatrical version, especially nudity, so you'll most likely want that version. In addition, the DVD has deleted scenes (parts of Stormy Daniels segment, and all of Jamie Elle Mann's segment) that did not appear in either version of the movie.

    Stormy Daniels Jaime Elle Mann Kimberly Page
    Laura Bottrell Elizabeth Banks Catherine Keener
    Carla Gallo   Kate Luyben