"Getting It On"
Getting It On (1983) is a teensploitation film original called American Voyeur. It was made on a microscopic budget, yet had a substantial theatrical release. It is currently rated 2.8 at IMDb, which is not a fair rating, as this is neither better nor worse than other low budget teensploitation films of the era. It was shot on 35 mm, and managed a decent box office, even though there was no drive-in market left. It was even favorably reviewed at the time by Hollywood Variety.
There is a main plot, and an intersecting sub-plot. A High School aged geek lacks the experience and confidence to approach women, but that doesn't stop him from spying on his new neighbor. Binoculars are ok, but he convinces his father to finance a video taping business, and sets up spy cams, with the help of his best friend. His best friend is not the favorite of the school principal, and the two plots begin to converge when a home video of the principles daughter and the best friends brother is played at a school assembly. Will our hero get the girl? Will his friend be thrown out of school?
The plot is fine, but of more interest to me was the feature length commentary from director/writer/producer William Olson, who elected to focus on technical aspects of making a low budget independent film. He first released it to local theaters, and it did well enough that he picked up a distribution deal, with an opening in nearly 1,000 theaters. The distributor forced him to change the title to Getting It On, a phrase that was used once in the film, but really doesn't say much about it. I have often wondered where some movie titles came from. He used Fugi stock, mostly because it is 20% cheaper than Kodak, but also because it "has a more pastel look." I also preferred Fugi when I shot film, as it has a cooler color temperature, tending more toward blue than toward red.
He shot almost no closeups or coverage shots, and this was also a matter of budget. Rather than use frequent cuts and different camera angles and lenses, he went with long takes and carefully blocked the actors to tell the same story. It is not just the actual footage that ends up in the final cut here, but each take has lead-in, marker, and lead-out footage, meaning the more cuts you have, the more film is wasted. He was very honest about how much having a good DP saved him. One of the requirements was to shoot TV screen scenes. The DP developed a technique of projecting the clips onto tracing paper covering the front of a gutted TV chassis, using a projector with a frame rate that synched with their camera. He also was not shy about pointing out the bloopers, such as an audio cable visible in a mirror, and the shadow of a boom mike on the wall.
Also interesting is that this DVD is the best looking edition of the film ever scene. When they remastered, they were able to digitally enhance some dark scenes, and reset the cropping in others, to eliminate a visible boom mike, and lighten overly dark scenes.
Kathy Brickmeier and Kim Saunders shows breasts. There is also a scene with for girls having a pillow fight in their dorm room. One shows breasts, and another full-frontal, but the four are not identified separately. The film is a classic C by our scoring system, as a good enough genre effort, but the commentary is well worth the time for those interested in the hows of budget movie making.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
She Hate Me (2004) - day 2
Follow up - zipped .wmvs
Prymate (2004 - theater)
Here are many more collages of soap star and six-time Emmy nominee
Heather Tom in the obscure Prymate, as collaged by the guy who took
the pictures. I shrunk them back to VCR size (240 lines), and edited
them somewhat (1,
- I have to save my money for a trip to Osaka to see
The National Bunraku Theater. Unfortunately, Osaka is
not on the coast, so I will not be able to see any really fresh
octopus porn while I am there. The frozen octopus porn just
isn't as good.
- Another tragic effect of the cooling of Canada.
Many of the residents of Dildo have to escape the frigid
temperatures by moving South. To South Dildo. When
you're there, see the museum which displays artifacts from the
sealing and whaling post at Dildo's Arm. Hey, I'm impressed that
a village of 272 people has a museum! If you're interested, I
checked the real estate prices in Dildo • Average price of a
three-bedroom bungalow: $35,000 • Average rental cost of a
house: $350 per month. I'm not kidding. It's a retirement
paradise. Check it out
FHM's 12 Honeys Of Christmas
Letters From Bad Santa. We all know a someone who
deserves only lumps of coal this holiday season -- friends,
relatives, your S.O., co-workers, your boss ... Now you can have
Santa send him or her a *personalized* letter to break the bad
A Journal of Menstrual Blood Paintings
Movie buffs choose Jar-Jar as the most annoying movie character
in history. Mr Bean demanded a recount. (He only
finished fourth.) I guess the great thing about Mr Bean, though,
is his versatility. He's not only one of the ten most annoying
movie characters of all time, but also one of the ten most
annoying TV characters. As the omnipresent King of all Media,
he's the Howard Stern of Annoyance.
The 25 worst and most annoying newsmakers of the past year.
Sigh. The winner for the year was my main man, William Hung.
AmIAnnoying.com: Most and Least Annoying. Bernard
Kerik came out of nowhere to steal the #1 spot from such
perennial annoyances as Dick Cheney and Britney Spears. The
fastest rising star is Ben Affleck, who gets more and more
annoying each year. He was voted annoying by only 34% in 2001,
but soared to 60% in 2002, and a stratospheric 70% in 2003! Did
you know? .... Affleck made $7,000 for Chasing Amy and $12.5
million for Bounce.
Who is the hottest baseball wife?
Silent Bob and Luke Skywalker are doing the pilot for a new
weekly Star Wars series. "It'll feature Mark Hamill
as Skywalker in a 'pop up now and then' role, but mostly, it's
new characters, set in the same world as the films." Bonus: a
picture of Jay and Silent Bob taken about a week ago.
- What could be more fun than Japanese Octopus porn? How about
contemporary Polish shock-art? Today, the work of Zbigniew
How about a Lego kit designed to build a concentration camp?
He mocked up three of them to look like real LEGO sets, and sold
them for $7,500 each. (Many pictures available at the link)
- And then there's Libera's
Universal Placebo Suppository
- And, of course, Libera's greatest achievement, the
Universal Penis Expander. Ya gotta see the picture of
this guy's wang. Talk about a pocket fisherman! All he needs is
- URL says it all:
Oakland A's trade their second ace in three days. (Mulder
to the Cardinals for prospects today. Hudson to the Braves two
Box Office Mojo - Yearly Box Office for 2004, as of Friday.
The surprises of the year?
- (1) Obviously, Passion fo the Christ. Whoda thunk it,
except Mel? He made a gazillion dollars on that movie. I
suppose it is the most money one man has ever made on one
film. He did it with his own capital, did not spend that much.
He had already pocketed a hundred million dollars after the
domestic run, and it did monster numbers overseas and on DVD.
I suppose he will finish with about three hundred million more
in his bank accounts from that one film - more than Barry
Bonds made in his career!
- Dodgeball. Surprise. You can make a buck by making a
consistently funny movie.
- The Day After Tomorrow and Fahrenheit 9/11. Well, we know
there are some liberals with money to burn! DAT is a crap
environmental disaster movie that made almost $200 million,
and F911 is a pseudo-documentary political polemic that raked
in $100 million. I suppose Michael Moore took second place
behind Mel for the biggest profit of the year for a single
individual. That movie must have cost him about fifty bucks to
make from on-the-street interviews and stock newsreel footage.
For you foreigners, I can summarize American politics in a two
sentence nutshell. Liberals buy movie tickets. Conservatives
As predicted, Lemony Snicket opens in first place, but with only
$10 million on Friday. (That compares to $14 million
for Ocean's 12 last Friday.) All three new major new releases
were disappointing, albeit at different levels of
- Snicket seems to be headed for a $30 million weekend,
which is good, but would be about 30-40% below expectations.
- Adam Sandler's Spanglish barely edged out Polar Express
for third, although the latter is in its sixth weekend.
- As expected, Flight of the Phoenix bombed completely. It
finished only $100,000 ahead of Christmas with the Kranks, and
could do no better than seventh place, despite being on 2600
- Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this will take up more
than the 15 minutes which Andy said my attention span will
Warhol's Interview: 35 Years Of Pop in 7 volumes. I
was looking for the weight of the thing. Seven volumes boxed
together - all in hardcover - that could kill some postal
Chemical Ali, Saddam Hussein's most infamous hatchet man, starts
the trial process. : "He was captured by US forces in
August 2003 and is now facing trial at the Iraq Special
Tribunal, where on Saturday he attended a hearing with an
investigative judge in the presence of his lawyer. "
The Hidden Terror of Christmas; or, Granny Go Home:
"I'd like to take a .44 Magnum to the little drummer boy and
pa-rump-a-bump-bump him full of lead. "
The trailer for Ice Princess. Typical Disney offering
aimed at the tween and young teen girl market. "The film follows
a brainy ugly duckling (Trachtenberg) who realizes her dream of
becoming a champion figure skater with the help of physics, a
disgraced coach, three snooty ice princesses, a chorus of stage
parents and the hunky boy who drives the Zamboni ice resurfacing
National Lampoon's Safe Christmas Toy Shopping Guide
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
La femme de boulanger (1999)
Two clips from French TV for a change. I'm taking you back to 1999
for a better look at Astrid Veillon in "La femme du boulanger"
(the baker's wife). This is a made for TV film based on a novel by
Jean Giono and a screenplay from 1938 by Marcel Pagnol. Although I
didn't read the novel, it is impossible that this flick does them
justice. These two are giants in French literary history.
The movie is way too long for its simple subject, which goes as
Astrid is the young wife of a baker about 20 years older
than she is. Everything goes smooth until some young stud
makes her head spin and she elopes with him. The baker refuses
to make bread as long as his wife hasn't returned. Since this
is set in small village in the Provence and not in a big city,
this is a major problem for the villagers. So everyone helps
to find Astrid so things can get back to normal and the
villagers can have their daily bread again. All's well that
ends well, to sum it up.
It doesn't make an interesting watch at all, even if it is an
Astrid Veillon was a struggling actress in the late nineties, but
in the meantime she has made a bit of a name for herself in France
and even has her volume in our beloved Encyclopedia. Currently she
is playing on stage in Paris alongside Alain Delon, not exactly an
unknown actor there or anywhere.
an interesting Astrid link. It's in French but there are also lots
of pictures, including nudes. While you may need to know that "fonds
d'écran" means wallpapers in the computer sense (real wallpaper is
"papier peint"), I think "galerie" "Play Boy" and "Newlook" speak
for themselves, n'est-ce pas? I'll stop the French lesson right
here and let you enjoy Astrid's triple B performance now.
|A quick site note
Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and start making money promoting the Fun House!
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today we have part two of our 'Damsel in Distress" special with Melissa Sagemiller in "Love Object".
In this batch, Melissa suffers more torment at the hands of her kidnapper and we get to see bare breasts.
We also have three scenes of Melissa lovemaking and exposing her tattooed tit. (links 13-15)
- Melissa Sagemiller
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"The Jackhammer Massacre"
A B-horror movie is supposed to be bad, and this 2004 entry, also known simply as Jackhammer, is admittedly bad just where you'd expect - poor acting (sometimes), bad script writing (sometimes), and a shaky plot (sometimes). The problem is it's also very good in those same areas (sometimes).
For starters, the movie has an excellent anti-drug theme throughout, maybe by accident or maybe on purpose, but no one can see this movie and come away thinking drugs are cool. Jack (little word play there.....character's named Jack and he kills with a jackhammer) has it all. Great car (I'd rather have a Viper in any color than yellow, personally, but hey.....), a very good job, and things are good. Unfortunately, a lack of self esteem leads him to get heavily involved with drugs, and when his best friend dies of an overdose, Jack really goes on a drug bender, and there goes the car and job.
Now living as a security guard for a closed machine shop, and never drawing a straight breath, it looks like Jack has met his fate when bad guys seeking money he owes them give him what should be a fatal overdose of a drug cocktail, enough to kill several elephants. Instead, Jack now really goes beserk, and starts killing everyone in site with a jackhammer, egged on by his dead friend who talks to Jack constantly.
It's so bad, with so many good parts, that at the end you scratch your head wondering: Did I just see a really good bad movie, or a really bad good movie?
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
Billy Zane vampire movie filmed in Transylvania, Romania.
"Ski School 2" (DVD) (1995)
Ski-sex comedy only available on DVD in Europe.
The quality is cystal clear. Hefmag hefmate
Wendy Hamilton is totally nude while painting in the
cold, cold snow. Since it appears she wasn't
wearing a muff warmer down there she must have gotten
Dolph Lundgren action with almost every bad cliche
about urban schools gone bad. The solution would be a
state-of-the-art detention hall where children are
held in place with magnets.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
Finishing up this week's batch with some Skinemax. Here we have scenes from Forbidden Highway. Plenty of nakedness by Ava Lake, Tracy Ryan and Kira Reed.
- Ava Lake aka Mia Zottoli
- Tracy Ryan
- Kira Reed