"Lust for Dracula"

Lust for Dracula (2004) day three. This will conclude this marathon project. Director Tony Marsiglia wrote this 20 years ago, and has been trying to get it made ever since. He originally wrote it as a stage play, and earlier versions had little sex. He claims this is the same story, but just emphasizes a different aspect of the story. His idea was that there is no good reason for Dracula to be the villain, and in this case, it is Darian Caine as Dracula who changes Misty Mundae's life for the better, and gives her the child she really wanted. He had nothing but praise for Misty Mundae's work ethic and acting ability. Marsiglia believes that people who pay close attention will understand what he is getting at, even though there is so much nudity and sex. He also feels it is the imagery that makes or breaks a film.

Tonight's images include Andrea Davis as another vampire, Casey Jones as her soul mate, and hr real life sister, Shelly Jones as her sister. All show everything.

Marsiglia certainly had trouble bringing this to DVD. Not only did it take him 20 years to sell it, he had it completely edited when his mother board fried, and had to start over on the editing. IMDb readers have it at 2.3 of 10 based on 9 votes. The IMDb secret recipe is at work, however, as the average score is actually 5.7, which would be a reasonable score. There are a lot of lovely bodies caressing themselves and each other in well photographed scenes, and a plot to puzzle out. All in all, it is a good genre effort. C+.

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  • Andrea Davis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Casey Jones (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Andrea Davis and Casey Jones (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)
  • Shelly Jones (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated



     She Hate Me (2004)

    You know a film is on shaky ground when it is made by one of the most famous directors in the world and its distribution maxxes out on 28 screens! How bad is it? Bad. It came close to making the Worst of the Year lists. I recently did a quick summary of the worst 2004 movies according to Rotten Tomatoes, IMDb, and Metacritic. In order to make the final list of infamy, a film had to meet certain screening criteria: 25 or less at Metacritic, 4.0 or less at IMDb, and 10% or less at Rotten Tomatoes. The final list consisted of six films which qualified under all three of those criteria.

    Spike Lee's She Hate Me didn't make the list, but it came close, about as close as a great director is ever going to come. It did qualify on the IMDb criterion, missed by only one point at Metacritic, and scored 20% on the Tomatometer.

    And he is a great director. I like Spike's films. In some cases I love them. When he is on top of his game, he is brilliant. Even when he misses the bulls-eye, he makes interesting, passionate, savvy movies that want to engage us in dialogue. Look at his list below. Mo' Better Blues is in 16th place. I would sell my soul to make a film as good as Mo' Better Blues, and Spike has made 15 of them.

    1. (7.79) - 25th Hour (2002)
    2. (7.69) - Do the Right Thing (1989)
    3. (7.49) - Malcolm X (1992)
    4. (7.33) - 4 Little Girls (1997)
    5. (7.19) - Ten Minutes Older: The Trumpet (2002)
    6. (6.79) - Clockers (1995)
    7. (6.57) - Get on the Bus (1996)
    8. (6.49) - He Got Game (1998)
    9. (6.40) - Summer of Sam (1999)
    10. (6.39) - Jungle Fever (1991)
    11. (6.29) - Bamboozled (2000)
    12. (6.28) - She's Gotta Have It (1986)
    13. (6.21) - Joe's Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads (1983)
    14. (6.19) - Crooklyn (1994)
    15. (6.10) - Mo' Better Blues (1990)
    16. (5.42) - Jim Brown All American (2002)
    17. (5.34) - School Daze (1988)
    18. (5.13) - Girl 6 (1996)
    19. (4.26) - She Hate Me (2004)

    So what happened With She Hate Me? I don't know. This film is mired so far below the rest of Spike's career that it can't even see second-last place.

    It's such a strange, inconsequential, seemingly ignorant, chaotic film that I just don't get it. Maybe it is a brilliant satire on a very deep level and Spike never lets us in on the joke. Maybe he just plain misfired. Maybe he just made a commitment to another man's script and didn't know how to back off. (It was co-written by Spike and Michael Genet, an actor who has no other writing credits.)

    Whatever happened, it produced disastrous results.

    I've been thinking how to describe this film to somebody who hasn't seen it. Imagine if you took the war scenes from the Marx Brothers' Duck Soup, added some dramatic footage from Silkwood, threw in some footage from one of those cartoons where Bugs Bunny battles the Japanese in WW2, a little bit of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and maybe some scenes from Gigli, and you'd be about there, assuming you cut all that material together helter-skelter, with no particular logic. Result? It's a comedy. It's a Bergmanesque drama. It's a wacky sex farce. It's a dark comedy. It's a star vehicle, like a soul Oceans 11. It's a cartoon.

    Here's the plot summary from IMDb

    Harvard-educated biotech executive John Henry "Jack" Armstrong gets fired when he informs on his bosses, launching an investigation into their business dealings by the Securities & Exchange Commission. Branded a whistle-blower and therefore unemployable, Jack desperately needs to make a living. When his former girlfriend Fatima, a high powered businesswoman -- and now a lesbian -- offers him cash to impregnate her and her new girlfriend Alex, Jack is persuaded by the chance to make easy money. Word spreads and soon Jack is in the baby-making business at $10,000 a try. Lesbians with a desire for motherhood and the cash to spare are lining up to seek his services. But, between the attempts by his former employers to frame him for security fraud and his dubious fathering activities, Jack finds his life, all at once, becoming very complicated.

    I should fill in a few details that the summary above tactfully omits. These lesbians do not want to get pregnant from artificial insemination. They do not just want Jack's sperm. No, they all want to have sex with Jack. And they are the kinds of carefree lesbians unconcerned about the fact that they might have to have sex with a man dozens and dozens of times in order to get pregnant, as would happen in real life. Fortunately, Jack only needs one shot. In fact, he can do several of them in an evening, and they all get pregnant. And they all have earth-shattering orgasms. Oh, yeah, and they are all really hot, foxy, feminine lesbians who purr come-ons and innuendos constantly. Obviously, then, there is inside every lesbian a heterosexual woman waiting for the right dick. Or to put it more directly in the context of this movie, there is inside every lesbian ... Jack's dick.

    To kick off the Enron portion of the entertainment, there's George Bush on a Three Dollar Bill. The corporate guys, of course, are shrill, sneaky, reprehensible, one-dimensional sleazebags with no redeeming qualities except their value as targets for satire. (Woody Harrelson as a CEO? Cheech Marin and Carrot Top must have been busy.)

    But that summary above only covers the central plot. There are also a half dozen sub-plots, and none of them have much of anything to do with the main plot. There is John Turturro as The Godfather (impersonating Brando), with Monica Bellucci as his hot lesbian daughter. There is some craziness about the Watergate security guard who first blew the whistle on the DNC break-in, a black man named Frank Wills who could have been embraced by America as a hero, but instead died destitute and forgotten. (Presumably because he was black?) There are heavy-handed riffs on stereotyping the black male, spreading African AIDS, and God knows what else.

    Do you see what I meant before about not knowing whether I'm in on the joke. I don't know where Spike stops showing his own POV and starts parodying somebody else's. Is Spike showing ignorance with all this stuff, or is he making fun of people with ignorant attitudes? Is he indulging his adolescent fantasies, or is he making fun of Hollywood's obsession with adolescent fantasies? Is he writing his own one-dimensional fantasy characters, or simply making fun of movies which do? In each case, I'm not too sure where the ignorant exploitation movie ends and the savvy satire begins.

    To be fair, it has some funny moments, but the laughs are stranded out of any context, and are generally followed by some deadly earnest material.

    Wild tone shifts. Cardboard characters. Offense to many types of people. Odd stuff.

    It's also a very long movie which could have been, and probably should have been, two movies, although I'm not sure either of them would have been any good.

    Let's hope Spike comes back to his senses for his next film.


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

    Treibjagd (2003)

     "Treibjagd" (drive hunt) is a German drama made for TV involving the BND, the German counterpart of the CIA. If my memory serves me right it deals with two of its agents, one a good guy, the other a rotten scoundrel not hampered by any morals. The rotten one is responsible for the death of the good one's love of his life, Julia Malik, who was at a certain point also seeing the bad guy. This occurred in Prague when the Communists and the Soviets were still running things.
    Then the film moves on to several years after the demise of the empire of evil. Somehow these two men's paths cross again and once again they both end up with the same woman, this time Nina Kunzendorf. Nina, a widow with a child to support, is out of a job and has to resort to prostitution to make ends meet. In clip one you can see her wearing a wig when the rotten one coerces her into having sex with him. If she refuses he will have her child taken away, the fact that she is a good mother doesn't count here of course. In the short second clip you can see her without the wig when she waves goodbye to the good one who is off to deal with the bad one for good. 

    Even if the title could have easily been "The Good, The Bad and The Prostitute", it's actually not a bad flick (rated 6.6 in IMDB based on 8 votes only) and I'm sorry to say that I didn't burn this one entirely to DVD.

    PS. It's very curious to see how your review of a wrestler's sex video leads to the prediction that the Chinese empire will take over from the American. If that happens our European political leaders will have to change their usual crap. It won't be hamburgers and Coca-Cola that's going to "corrupt" us in Europe, they'll have to fulminate against dim-sum's, shark fin soup and Peking duck.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today the Ghost takes a look at the mega-lo budget college frat movie "Going Greek".

    All 3 ladies are topless. Of some interest may be Unknown #2 who is the proud owner of one of the worst boob jobs ever!

    'Caps and comments by Hankster

    Scoops, I guess by now everyone knows of my love of capturing and capping a "Damsel in Distress" and today we have a dandy from a mainstream movie called"Love Object".

    It Features Melissa Sagemiller bound up, ball gagged, suspended and manhandled by her captor. Mostly cleavage, but in part 2 tomorrow you will get to see a little more skin :)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Mango Kiss"
    Romance is romance, relationships are relationship, and problems will arise regardless of the gender of the participants. That's the premise of the 2004 lesbian comedy/romance.

    Lou and Sassafras (both female) are roommates and best friends. When they fall in love, things get complicated. They go to San Francisco, and there they fall in with a group of role-playing S/M lesbians which tests their relationship with one another.

    Leisurely paced but funny, and the movie was widely acclaimed by gays, however, it didn't fully hold my interest, and I'm not sure other hetrosexuals will relate to it, either. However, I think it's worth a look.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Wrong Turn"
    Some nipplage by Emmanuelle Chriqui in the teenage slasher film Wrong Turn and Lindy Booth displays a lot of cleavage.

    "Still Breathing"
    Some lovely pokies by Joanna Going in Still Breathing, and Ann Magnuson is down to her underwear.

    "All or Nothing"
    Sally Hawkins is topless in the British film All or Nothing. A nice upskirt by Helen Coker and some cleavage by Alex Kelly.

    "Sketch Artist"
    Plenty of topless nudity in Sketch Artist by Charlotte Lewis and Sean Young. Belle Avery is also naked but it is from a distance and it could be a body double.

    Kate Beckinsale
    (1, 2)

    The hot Brit and co-star of the new film "The Aviator" making an appearance on Thursday night's Letterman. In #1 you can see that she's wearing insanely low cut jeans. Too bad she didn't turn around for us :) In #2 we have some great views of her beautiful face. Personally I don't think much of her "acting", but good lord she is one photogenic woman!

    Chloe Hunter
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Excellent 'caps of Hunter baring all in scenes from "Spun". Hunter spends almost the entire film tied spread-eagle to a bed. In the deleted footage, there is even an open leg shot. Click here for the full review.

    Natasha Gregson Wagner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Natalie Wood's daughter topless in a couple of scenes from the off-beat and campy horror/thriller "Modern Vampires" (1998).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Star Jones Demands A Recount! - The Star has issued its annual list of the top ten most annoying celebrities. Counting down from #10: Bill O'Reilly, Michael Moore, Gwyneth Paltrow, Elton John, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, Ashlee Simpson, Star Jones, Anna Nicole Smith, and at #1, a tie between fellow blond airheads Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Both managed to be overexposed, even though Britney had knee surgery and couldn't even tour.

  • Britney's knees aren't among the parts of her that she overexposes.
  • Luckily, Paris can get on her knees with no trouble, as we all saw in her video.
  • Prediction for the Most Annoying Celebrity of 2025 list: Apple Paltrow.

    The Book: "A Child's Guide To Pole-Dancing" - The FemaleFirst website reports that Christie's is auctioning off a book report Britney Spears wrote when she was eight. It was savaged by her teacher as "messy" and is filled with spelling and grammar errors.

  • So you KNOW it's authentic!
  • No, wait: she wrote that when she was 18.

    Too Much Rich Food - Also, Britney's been humiliated and had to go to the vet because her Chihuahua Lacy Loo can't stop breaking wind everywhere she takes it.

  • Maybe if she stopped feeding it $180 steaks...
  • That's why she takes Lacy Loo everywhere: so she can blame it on the dog.

    ThankYewVurryMuch! - Elvis Presley Enterprises announced that the King's daughter, Lisa Marie, has agreed to sell most of the Elvis estate, including rights to his name and image, to SFX Entertainment for about $100 million. SFX will merchandise Elvis internationally. But Lisa Marie will keep her dad's personal effects and Graceland, which will remain open to the public.

  • She considered selling Graceland, but nobody will buy a house with shag carpeting these days.
  • She'll also have to stop using the name Presley...A lot of people suggested that anyway, after hearing her sing.

    They Ask So Little - "Santa To The Stars" Brady White makes $5,000 a night playing Santa Claus at ritzy Hollywood parties. Dozens of stars have sat on his lap and told him what they wanted for Christmas, including Jodie Foster, Lisa Kudrow, Bob Dylan, James Caan, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley. He says some of their wishes came true: Cher asked for an Oscar, and Jack Nicholson wanted the Lakers to win a championship. But the weirdest of all was Madonna, who asked Santa for her virginity back.

  • Not very likely, especially since she was sitting on his lap and humping his leg.
  • But Santa couldn't grant her wish because she'd been WAY too naughty.
  • He told her that was impossible, so she asked to win an Oscar instead...And Santa replied, "Oh, all right, I'll work on the virginity thing."
  • I'd just ask, which is more uncomfortable: having James Caan in your lap, or Kirstie Alley?

    Brunch In A Bun - Health advocates accused Hardee's of "food porn" for marketing their new Monster Thickburger while other restaurants cut fat and calories. But Hardee's parent company loves the publicity so much, they're expanding on the idea. Their other chain, Carl's Jr., just introduced the Breakfast Burger, a hamburger topped with a fried egg, hash browns, bacon and cheese. It has 46 grams of fat and 830 calories. A Hardee's spokesman said people are sick of P.C. food, and "We don't make what we want to sell, we make what people want to buy."

  • And they have to attract new customers, to replace the old ones that keep dying.
  • It's a great way to start your day...and end your life.
  • Coming in Spring: the Easter Burger, a hamburger topped with a 20-pound honeyglaze ham, five candy eggs and a chocolate rabbit.