"Delta Delta Die!"
Delta Delta Die! (2003) is a direct to vid comedy horror sorority film. Julie Strain is housemother of the Delta Delta Pi sorority famous for their bake sales of meat pies. What isn't well known is that these sorority sisters are using tenderloin of college jock as their source of meat. The fact that we are dealing with sorority sister cannibals tells you pretty much what to expect -- a comedy/spoof/boobfest, and this one does not disappoint.
The film has nudity from Julie Strain (everything), Rachel Myers (everything), Tiffany Shepis (breasts and buns) and Katie Adams, (everything). The real nudity, however, is in the Unrated Special features. They had way too much footage of Julie Strain torturing the college boys, a completely unused bath tub scene, and a completely unused shower scene. Add a bunch of cast auditions, bloopers, deleted scenes and a feature length commentary, and there is a lot on this DVD.
Unfortunately, many of you will have trouble seeing it. A mother thought the Unrated Special Features were too Unrated, complained, and got the DVD pulled from major rental outlets. After hearing the above story, I ordered the DVD from Canada, just to see what bothered her so much. We see good full frontal of Julie in great light, mild masturbation, and hear some four letter words. The nudity (which I will have ready for tomorrow night) is very nice, but still within the normal range of R rated nudity. This woman had no grounds to complain, as the packaging clearly states "Special Features not Rated." The director who related this story is going to hide similar graphic extra features in Easter Eggs as a result of this case.
Tomorrow night, the rest of the review, and images of Julie Strain in perhaps her best acting performance ever.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
House of Sand and Fog (2003)
What a year. I continue to dislike just about
every film the critics raved about.
Ben Kingsley plays Behrani, a former colonel in the Persian army
during the Shah's reign. He is a proud man who is deceiving his
family into thinking he has a good, dignified job. In reality, he
was two menial jobs, but changes into a clean suit before he goes
home. One day, he sees a public notice for a repossessed property
auction, follows through, and is able to buy a beachfront house for
$45,000. This is the key to his financial stability. He plans to
sell it immediately, using the profit to play for his son's
education and other necessities, as well as to upgrade the status of
Jennifer Connelly is Kathy Nicolo, a
recovering addict whose husband deserted her. Like Colonel Behrani,
she is also lying to her family. Her mother thinks she is still
married, and knows nothing of her problems. Those problems escalate
ten fold when she is evicted from her house fro non-payment of a tax
she never owed in the first place. Before she can resolve matters
legally, the state has sold her home at public auction.
... to Colonel Behrani.
The conflict is thus established. The
state is willing to do the right thing and give the colonel his
$45,000 back, thus returning the house to Kathy, but the colonel
insists quite correctly that he is the legal owner of a piece of
property worth four times that amount, and he refuses to sell.
Kathy's lawyer can sue the state for compensation for their error,
but that could take months, or years, while Kathy is sleeping in her
A melodrama is set into action, one
which will ultimately result in one murder, and four attempted
suicides, two of them successful. And that is only among the four
main characters (the colonel, his wife, his son, and Kathy)! Three
of the four end up dead, and the other ends up alive despite two
suicide attempts. Along the way, various other lives are destroyed.
A local cop falls in love with Kathy even as he evicts her, and that
situation destroys his life, and his family's happiness.
Your basic feel-good movie!
It is pure melodrama in the 1950s
fashion. Jennifer Connelly has now replaced Susan Hayward and
Juliette Binoche as the cinema's official suffering woman. She makes
her living by either being in tears, or looking like she's about to
be. Her veil of tears is clouded still further by fog-shrouded
cinematography and turgid background music.
Skipping to the bottom line, I like to think that
human beings can settle disputes of this nature without everyone
dying and waving pistols at one another.
The film has some pretensions toward meaningful
social commentary, but is basically a combination of a thriller and
an extreme melodrama, made for the cry-of-the-month crowd. If you
like that sort of thing, it is very well done. The characterization
is intricate and complex. The script is sympathetic to both sides in
the dispute. The acting is top drawer.
Various exposure from Jennifer
1. She changes in
a public bathroom, and you can see a little bit through her semi-sheer
bra. (collage 1)
2. Sex scene with Ron Eldred. Very little nipple action, but a very
nice shot of her bottom. (collages 2 and 3)
3. A silhouetted
shot of a topless Connelly putting her shirt on. (collage 5)
4. A bathtub suicide scene in which her nipples are visible
underwater. (collage 4)
In the Cut (2003)
I've talked about this ad infinitum, both the movie and the book.
House page here.
This latest set of images comes from a VHS trailer, but it's good
quality for VHS. The movie is still dark, and the lighting is still
all kinds of funky, but it is possible to see the dark scenes fairly
well, so you'll glimpse Meg's delta in "collage" #5, and you see her
buns and crotch in "extra frames" #1 and #2.
- Collages (1,
- Extra frames (1,
Burbank Calif. Airport Renamed Bob Hope Airport.
American Idol's Ruben Studdard Tops U.S. Music Charts
Hate mimes? Now this is using mummery for good instead of evil.
Mormon.org - Request a visit. Just in case they aren't
already bothering you at your home, you can request that they
come. Could be a great Christmas gift for your friends. I always
say "Hey, I saw you guys in Orgasmo".
Madeleine Albright: Just kidding about that bin Laden thing.
Friends of Albright pointed out that if she was kidding it would
be the first time in her life that she had attempted that whole
crazy "humor" concept.
Chrysler Withdraws From Lingerie Bowl.
Blockbuster COO calls for abolition of DVD region codes.
- This is supposed to be an uncensored version of the
Jewel foto-booth flash (which was originally
blurred/pixilated). Authenticity is highly questionable.
- Since Heidi Klum is in the news,
here are a bazillion pictures of the mom-to-be.
Joey Buttafuoco Arrested in Auto Insurance Fraud Case.
Senator says he was duped by the White House. All I can
say is this, Senator: if you were outsmarted by George Bush, you
may have chosen the wrong career. Not to mention the wrong
George In The Box. Jack in the box plays Hail to the
Chief until President Bush pops out.
Pictures of rock stars as children.
President George W. Bush has ordered the Department of the
Interior to ship thousands of surplus fire hydrants to Canada
for the use of sled dogs that desperately need a place to pee.
Computer Programmer Makes 'WMD' Treasure Hunt Game: "As
computer programmer Shane Messer watched U.S. forces look for
weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, the search struck him as a
perverse sort of treasure hunt, so he programmed a game based on
all the existing evidence.
Albright thinks Bush hiding bin Laden: Former Secretary
of State Madeleine Albright told Fox News Channel analyst Morton
Kondracke yesterday she suspects President Bush knows the
whereabouts of Osama bin Laden and is simply waiting for the most
politically expedient moment to announce his capture. Sure. In
fact, bin Laden makes an excellent, inexpensive chaperone for the
Bush girls, and Bush may just decide to get him a green card.
- Conservative columnist
William Safire takes Dick Cheney to the woodshed for
his double top secret energy task force. Most obvious lie of the
day: "A senior administration official assures me that no
potential embarrassment is at the root of this unnecessary fight
to the finish, and that it's just the principle of the thing."
Yup, these principles: (1) the public has no right to know what
its government is doing, and (2) the government has the right to
work in complete secrecy when no national security matters are
involved, and (3) we have absolutely no other choice other than to
take the government's word when they say that candid advice is
candid advice, and not dirty deals. Those are important
government principles - in North Korea.
Saddam to be held in wooden cage. Saddam's lawyers are
busy hiring Siegfried and Roy. During the trial, there is a puff
of smoke, Saddam disappears, and a white tiger is in the cage! Now
that's real Vegas-style mad tyrant entertainment.
Persian Broadcasting reports that the US may have a Saddam body
double in custody. We captured Rich Little? Sure. He's
a body double who (1) fathered Saddam's sons, according to DNA
tests, and (2) was carrying $750,000 in ten dollar bills. It's
good to be king, but it's better to be a body double! I want the
job as body double for Brad Pitt. Just send the $750,000 to my
house, and call me when you need someone to father Aniston's kids.
MAXIM ONLINE :: Michelle Branch
Quote of the day: The doughnut ethics complaint filed
against a Boca Raton councilman has crumbled. “It was full of
holes,” the city leader commented wryly.
Woman burns her apartment to get a ghost out of her bathtub.
Hey, a ghost has to stay April Fresh! After all, BOO stands for
"body odor optimal". Presumably it was a baby ghost, and she was
just throwing out the bathwater with the baby. John Kerry's
comment: "silly cunt".
The life of Brian of Philadelphia. Do you remember in
Life of Brian, where the crowd stoned the official for saying the
word Yahweh, when he was simply announcing the crime committed by
the accused? That really happened in Philadelphia. A principal was
reprimanded for telling the students not to use the n-word. The
problem - she had to tell them which words they were not supposed
to use, and parents said "she used the n-word, nanny, nanny boo
Julia Roberts Disputes 'Chick Flick' Label. The real
chicks are watching Kill Bill 2. Even without seeing Mona Lisa
Smile, some people have already poked fun at it, dubbing it the
"Dead Housewives' Society" I haven't seen Mona Lisa smile, either,
but I think it may be the only time I ever fell asleep during the
Oslo's International Airport may close due to illness
Saddam being tortured. "Watching Trista marry Ryan once
is punishment, but watching it six, seven times in a row may in
fact constitute torture." Pretty funny idea, but already used by
Woody Allen, who had Latin American torture squads coerce
prisoners with repeated listenings of Naughty Marietta.
Bengals Playoff Tickets Go On Sale. I never thought I'd
type those words in my lifetime. Aren't they getting a little
Tampon Angel Ornaments for your xmas tree.
The Mouseketeer Guide to Semiconductor Physics. Funny
Wacky uses for everyday products. And you thought My
Big Fat Greek Wedding was just kidding with the Windex thing.
America's new top model. This is essentially American
Idol for models.
- In the words of the guy who submitted this link, ya gotta love
Steppin' Out Magazine interviews Vanessa Marcil
Man In Santa Suit Robs Pa. Bank So that's how Santa
funds the toy workshop. I figured he just used Asian child labor.
Mel Gibson's 'The Passion' gets a thumbs-up from the pope.
Also, John Kerry said it was "some seriously sweet shit".
MAXIM ONLINE :: Ashley Hartman She's Holly, the hot
party girl on Fox's The O.C.
Government Files Consumer Complaint Against Marketers of 'Girls
Gone Wild' Videos. This has nothing to do with
censorship or invasion of privacy. It's just a consumer fraud
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
|More Ricci topless!
Another round of DVD 'caps featuring Christina Ricci topless in scenes from "Prozac Nation". Thanks to ZonononZor for this excellent collage.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
This excellent 2001 thriller has some really cool twists and a surprising revelation right at the end.
A psychiatrist comes out of retirement after the death of his teenage son to help another troubled teen, about to turn 18, to deal with his troubled past. The deeper he digs, the more sordid are the things he finds. A very well-done and gripping movie.
|The ultra-"blonde" celeb showing off acres and acres of cleavage. #3 is especially nice.
|Bibb looking great in a black bra from Tuesday night's episode of "Line of Fire". Thanks to The Rock for the original 'caps. Hopefully no one will mind that I did some editing to compensate for the crappy lighting and annoying color filters the director used.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the French Canadian actress showing everything in scenes from "La Turbulence des fluides" aka "Chaos and Desire" (2002).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CAPTURED SADDAM ACTION FIGURE ALREADY FOR SALE
Lice Comb Sold Separately - Just 24 hours after Saddam Hussein's capture,
HeroBuilders.com, which sells action figures of George W. Bush and Tony
Blair, was offering a Captive Saddam action figure. He sports a long beard
and an "Ace of Spades" T-shirt. They were already selling an Uday action
figure with two interchangeable heads, one alive and one dead.
Sympathizers love to "bring him back to life."
After the trial, they'll offer Dead Saddam...He'll have a removable
head, too, just like the real Saddam.
Captive Saddam comes complete with pistol, rifle and surrender flag.
For $20 extra, you can buy Saddam's Malibu Spider Hole.
They also sell a Kofi Annan Inaction Figure.
BUSH SIGNS ANTI-SPAM LAW
Bush Thought He Was Banning Bad Lunch Meat - Tuesday, President Bush signed
the "Can Spam Act" into law, empowering the FTC to create a "Do not e-mail"
list. It will still be legal to send unsolicited business e-mail, but
spammers must allow people to opt out of future mailings, and using false
subject lines can bring them fines of up to $6 million and up to five years
But if they go to prison, just think of all the men they'll
meet who WANT to enlarge their penises!
They can afford a $6 million fine; they've saved tons of money thanks to
their low-interest mortgages.
They'll pay the fines out of a lot of money that someone is wiring them
CAR THIEF DRIVES STOLEN CAR BACK TO JAIL
Alcohol DOES Kill Brain Cells - Four days after Ronald A. Mahner got out of
jail in Seminole County, Florida, for DUI, auto theft and driving without a
license, he drove to the sheriff's office to reclaim his personal property.
When asked for ID, he handed over a driver's license that had been revoked
for life. They told him to move his car behind the building, and he parked
in a fire lane. They ran a license check and found the car had been stolen
on the very day Mahner was released from jail. He allegedly stole it so he
could drive back to jail to get his property. He's back in jail, and the
sheriff still has his property.
A crowbar, a six-pack and a sawed-off shotgun.
It's nothing but a trophy for winning a Nick Nolte Mugshot lookalike
He had to steal a car: the sheriff still had his bus pass.
"LORD OF THE RINGS" MARATHON DRAWS NERDS
Dorks And Orks - Tuesday, 99 theaters across America showed the entire
10-hour "Lord of the Rings" trilogy back-to-back. Die-hard fans, many
wearing fake pointy ears and Hobbit outfits or other costumes from the
movie, camped out all night for the best seats. An engineer who was first
in line at a Tampa, Florida, theater with two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts
said he loves fantasy books and belongs to a medieval reenactment group.
He said he thought the marathon might be a good place to meet women,
adding, "I want the kind of women who are going to be attracted to a geek."
He's looking for blind women?
Like there were any women there!
He had pointy ears and hairy feet, but it wasn't a costume.
It's hard to believe a guy like that has trouble meeting women.
These guys made the lines at "Star Wars" premieres look like the Mr.
MADONNA RELEASING UNSEEN PHOTOS
Must Be The Non-Nude Photos - Madonna is releasing a 52-page book of rare
and unseen photographs and quotes which her website calls her "ultimate
statement to her fans." It's available only through Madonna.com and is
called "Nobody Knows Me" after a song on her "American Life" CD.
If Madonna could only get over her shyness.
Tell me, what part of Madonna is still unseen?
I thought her LAST picture book was pretty much the ultimate statement
to her fans.