"Delta Delta Die!"

Delta Delta Die! (2003) is a direct to vid comedy horror sorority film. Julie Strain is housemother of the Delta Delta Pi sorority famous for their bake sales of meat pies. What isn't well known is that these sorority sisters are using tenderloin of college jock as their source of meat. The fact that we are dealing with sorority sister cannibals tells you pretty much what to expect -- a comedy/spoof/boobfest, and this one does not disappoint.

The film has nudity from Julie Strain (everything), Rachel Myers (everything), Tiffany Shepis (breasts and buns) and Katie Adams, (everything). The real nudity, however, is in the Unrated Special features. They had way too much footage of Julie Strain torturing the college boys, a completely unused bath tub scene, and a completely unused shower scene. Add a bunch of cast auditions, bloopers, deleted scenes and a feature length commentary, and there is a lot on this DVD.

Unfortunately, many of you will have trouble seeing it. A mother thought the Unrated Special Features were too Unrated, complained, and got the DVD pulled from major rental outlets. After hearing the above story, I ordered the DVD from Canada, just to see what bothered her so much. We see good full frontal of Julie in great light, mild masturbation, and hear some four letter words. The nudity (which I will have ready for tomorrow night) is very nice, but still within the normal range of R rated nudity. This woman had no grounds to complain, as the packaging clearly states "Special Features not Rated." The director who related this story is going to hide similar graphic extra features in Easter Eggs as a result of this case.

Tomorrow night, the rest of the review, and images of Julie Strain in perhaps her best acting performance ever.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Katie Adams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Rachel Myers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
  • Tiffany Shepis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    House of Sand and Fog (2003)


    What a year. I continue to dislike just about every film the critics raved about.

    Ben Kingsley plays Behrani, a former colonel in the Persian army during the Shah's reign. He is a proud man who is deceiving his family into thinking he has a good, dignified job. In reality, he was two menial jobs, but changes into a clean suit before he goes home. One day, he sees a public notice for a repossessed property auction, follows through, and is able to buy a beachfront house for $45,000. This is the key to his financial stability. He plans to sell it immediately, using the profit to play for his son's education and other necessities, as well as to upgrade the status of his family.

    Jennifer Connelly is Kathy Nicolo, a recovering addict whose husband deserted her. Like Colonel Behrani, she is also lying to her family. Her mother thinks she is still married, and knows nothing of her problems. Those problems escalate ten fold when she is evicted from her house fro non-payment of a tax she never owed in the first place. Before she can resolve matters legally, the state has sold her home at public auction.

    ... to Colonel Behrani.

    The conflict is thus established. The state is willing to do the right thing and give the colonel his $45,000 back, thus returning the house to Kathy, but the colonel insists quite correctly that he is the legal owner of a piece of property worth four times that amount, and he refuses to sell. Kathy's lawyer can sue the state for compensation for their error, but that could take months, or years, while Kathy is sleeping in her car.

    A melodrama is set into action, one which will ultimately result in one murder, and four attempted suicides, two of them successful. And that is only among the four main characters (the colonel, his wife, his son, and Kathy)! Three of the four end up dead, and the other ends up alive despite two suicide attempts. Along the way, various other lives are destroyed. A local cop falls in love with Kathy even as he evicts her, and that situation destroys his life, and his family's happiness.

    Your basic feel-good movie!

    It is pure melodrama in the 1950s fashion. Jennifer Connelly has now replaced Susan Hayward and Juliette Binoche as the cinema's official suffering woman. She makes her living by either being in tears, or looking like she's about to be. Her veil of tears is clouded still further by fog-shrouded cinematography and turgid background music.

    Skipping to the bottom line, I like to think that human beings can settle disputes of this nature without everyone dying and waving pistols at one another.

    The film has some pretensions toward meaningful social commentary, but is basically a combination of a thriller and an extreme melodrama, made for the cry-of-the-month crowd. If you like that sort of thing, it is very well done. The characterization is intricate and complex. The script is sympathetic to both sides in the dispute. The acting is top drawer.

    Various exposure from Jennifer Connelly: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    1. She changes in a public bathroom, and you can see a little bit through her semi-sheer bra. (collage 1)

    2. Sex scene with Ron Eldred. Very little nipple action, but a very nice shot of her bottom. (collages 2 and 3)

    3. A silhouetted shot of a topless Connelly putting her shirt on. (collage 5)

    4. A bathtub suicide scene in which her nipples are visible underwater. (collage 4)



    In the Cut (2003)

    I've talked about this ad infinitum, both the movie and the book. Movie House page here.

    This latest set of images comes from a VHS trailer, but it's good quality for VHS. The movie is still dark, and the lighting is still all kinds of funky, but it is possible to see the dark scenes fairly well, so you'll glimpse Meg's delta in "collage" #5, and you see her buns and crotch in "extra frames" #1 and #2.




    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    More Ricci topless!
    Another round of DVD 'caps featuring Christina Ricci topless in scenes from "Prozac Nation". Thanks to ZonononZor for this excellent collage.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Unsaid"
    This excellent 2001 thriller has some really cool twists and a surprising revelation right at the end.

    A psychiatrist comes out of retirement after the death of his teenage son to help another troubled teen, about to turn 18, to deal with his troubled past. The deeper he digs, the more sordid are the things he finds. A very well-done and gripping movie.

    Jessica Simpson
    (1, 2, 3)

    The ultra-"blonde" celeb showing off acres and acres of cleavage. #3 is especially nice.

    Leslie Bibb
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Bibb looking great in a black bra from Tuesday night's episode of "Line of Fire". Thanks to The Rock for the original 'caps. Hopefully no one will mind that I did some editing to compensate for the crappy lighting and annoying color filters the director used.

    Pascale Bussières
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the French Canadian actress showing everything in scenes from "La Turbulence des fluides" aka "Chaos and Desire" (2002).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Lice Comb Sold Separately - Just 24 hours after Saddam Hussein's capture,, which sells action figures of George W. Bush and Tony Blair, was offering a Captive Saddam action figure. He sports a long beard and an "Ace of Spades" T-shirt. They were already selling an Uday action figure with two interchangeable heads, one alive and one dead.

  • Sympathizers love to "bring him back to life."
  • After the trial, they'll offer Dead Saddam...He'll have a removable head, too, just like the real Saddam.
  • Captive Saddam comes complete with pistol, rifle and surrender flag.
  • For $20 extra, you can buy Saddam's Malibu Spider Hole.
  • They also sell a Kofi Annan Inaction Figure.

    Bush Thought He Was Banning Bad Lunch Meat - Tuesday, President Bush signed the "Can Spam Act" into law, empowering the FTC to create a "Do not e-mail" list. It will still be legal to send unsolicited business e-mail, but spammers must allow people to opt out of future mailings, and using false subject lines can bring them fines of up to $6 million and up to five years in prison.

  • But if they go to prison, just think of all the men they'll meet who WANT to enlarge their penises!
  • They can afford a $6 million fine; they've saved tons of money thanks to their low-interest mortgages.
  • They'll pay the fines out of a lot of money that someone is wiring them from Nigeria.

    Alcohol DOES Kill Brain Cells - Four days after Ronald A. Mahner got out of jail in Seminole County, Florida, for DUI, auto theft and driving without a license, he drove to the sheriff's office to reclaim his personal property. When asked for ID, he handed over a driver's license that had been revoked for life. They told him to move his car behind the building, and he parked in a fire lane. They ran a license check and found the car had been stolen on the very day Mahner was released from jail. He allegedly stole it so he could drive back to jail to get his property. He's back in jail, and the sheriff still has his property.

  • A crowbar, a six-pack and a sawed-off shotgun.
  • It's nothing but a trophy for winning a Nick Nolte Mugshot lookalike contest.
  • He had to steal a car: the sheriff still had his bus pass.

    Dorks And Orks - Tuesday, 99 theaters across America showed the entire 10-hour "Lord of the Rings" trilogy back-to-back. Die-hard fans, many wearing fake pointy ears and Hobbit outfits or other costumes from the movie, camped out all night for the best seats. An engineer who was first in line at a Tampa, Florida, theater with two boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts said he loves fantasy books and belongs to a medieval reenactment group. He said he thought the marathon might be a good place to meet women, adding, "I want the kind of women who are going to be attracted to a geek."

  • He's looking for blind women?
  • Like there were any women there!
  • He had pointy ears and hairy feet, but it wasn't a costume.
  • It's hard to believe a guy like that has trouble meeting women.
  • These guys made the lines at "Star Wars" premieres look like the Mr. Universe contest.

    Must Be The Non-Nude Photos - Madonna is releasing a 52-page book of rare and unseen photographs and quotes which her website calls her "ultimate statement to her fans." It's available only through and is called "Nobody Knows Me" after a song on her "American Life" CD.

  • If Madonna could only get over her shyness.
  • Tell me, what part of Madonna is still unseen?
  • I thought her LAST picture book was pretty much the ultimate statement to her fans.