Johnny Web's junk (Uncle Scoopy)

Yo, dudes, junior is working on his tan in the Caribbean this week, and I'm doing double duty, working on this page.

Life isn't necessarily fair.

He returns Saturday.


Castle Freak is a lame 1995 horror film from the Re-Animator team. Unfortunately they left the humor on the re-animation table.

  • Rafaella Offidani (1, 2)

Deathbed is a 2002 STV - a ghost story. Actually not a bad flick for a zero budgeter. Now fnd it on the same DVD as Castle Freak


Other crap:


Scoop's notes in yellow

Dear Scoopy  - Arielle Dombasle.  Just a few words about frame 2 in yesterday's Funhouse. This picture comes from the movie "Les pyramides bleues" (1988), aka "The Novice", which Arielle herself directed. You can read in the "clapper" the Spanish title of the flick : "La novicia" and the name of the cameraman, Renan Pollès.

Great contribution! Thanks


Scoop -  Romanian gymnasts. The Japanese DVD they appear in is called Gold Bird. It can be ordered on if you manage to go through the ordering procedure without reading japanese (hopefully, all amazon sites are exactly alike). I thought it could be of some interest for some of your members.



Scoopy, do you know if anyone ever capped Edie Falco's nude appearance in the Broadway play,  Frankie and Johnnie in the Claire de Lun? I saw this week that Rosie Perez will be taking over the role and I hope that someone is able to get caps of her too.  By the way, I'm glad that someone capped Linda Gray's work in the stage production of The Graduate.

Haven't seen anything yet. There is no dependable source of pictures for stage plays. It is "catch as catch can". We saw the nudity from Kathleen Turner and Linda Gray, for example, but still have not seen Anne Archer (or Lorraine Bracco, who just opened) in the same role. Among the other missing persons are Michelle Williams' appearance in Killer Joe and Nicole Kidman's famous appearance in The Blue Room. I hope that somebody somewhere has taken pictures of those performances, so that we can see them someday.



Yup, same woman. Page 3 girl Gail Thackray is also the same woman. Gail Harris (Robyn Harris), a regular in the world of porn, finally moved to the other side of the camera to become a publisher/editor for the Larry Flynt organization. She's been in the biz for nearly two decades, but is only in her 30s, and still takes an occasional acting gig.


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

words and pics from Tuna
"The Getaway"


The Getaway (1994) was done so long ago that I wasn't even writing reviews yet. My caps looked more like a VHS version, and, with Kim Basinger showing everything, and Jennifer Tilly showing breasts and buns, I had to do it properly. Reviewing it is another matter, wherein I prove yet again that I have no taste. I have always enjoyed this semi-comedic crime thriller. IMDB readers have it at 5.5 of 10, with nearly every group about the same, except IMDB staff, which has it at 7.6 of 10. Basinger won a razzie for worst actress, and an MTV award for most desirable female. Ebert hated it at 1 star, and it scores 25% at Rotten Tomatoes, with 0% from the top critics. I think it is more a matter of how you see the film. As a crime thriller, it is laughable. Then again, as a comedy, it is laughable, but that is a good thing.

Basically, Alec Baldwin is a master thief and all around tough guy, and Basinger is his main squeeze. He is double crossed by Michael Madsen and ends up in a Mexican jail. Basinger uses all her assets to takl a crime bigwig into using his influence to get him out. The condition is that Baldwin will work for him, and his partner is, you guessed it, Madsen. After the big robbery of a dog track, Baldwin and Basinger have the money, most of the gang are dead, and a wounded Madsen is out for blood. All are trying to get out of the country. Madsen kidnaps a vet and his wife, Jennifer Tilly, to help him get there.

Even though I find it entertaining, the proper score is D+. It is technically competent, but few enjoy it.

words and pics from Brainscan

Former Miss Thailand, Tanya Suesantisuka.  My brother, who has traveled everywhere, tells me there are no ugly women in Thailand.

And then there was Kirsten Imrie (1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) (couldn't find #3, if it exists) who may never have won a Miss Anywhere contest, but she is beyond sexy.  She once appeared in Penthouse as Kirsten Stewart ... whence cometh most of these scans.

words and pics from RDO
Hi Scoop,

More golden oldies and more wallpapers.

Nastassia Kinski in "To The Devil, a Daughter"

Collages (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Wallpapers (1, 2)

words and pics from Hankster

Today we look at a Hammer horror classic film,1972's "Demons of the Mind". First we have Gillian Hills (1, 2, 3) with a little boob exposure and then Virginia Wetherell (1, 2) shows it all.

We also return to 1969's "Dracula the Dirty Old Man", for an undressing scene from Ann Hollis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) as Dracula peers through her window. Ann suffers no harm here, but she will return another day when Dracula gets his hands on her (or should I say fangs).

nekkid supermodels

These are from a 1991 issue of French Photo

Angie Everhart. This pic is not worth it for the nudity, but it's a lovely scan of a lovely woman before she was famous.

Christie Turlington

Julie Anderson

Nicole Beach (1, 2)

Tasha Mota

Best ... Snowmen ... Ever!

Snow sculpture at its finest. (1, 2)

One more funny real-life thing. Names that should not be hyphenated.

The Comedy Wire from Pat Reeder

Pat's comments in yellow   

Best ... War ... EVER! - The Independent UK reports that men in Afghanistan are furious over newspaper photos of U.S. soldiers checking under women's burqas for weapons.  They refuse to believe the soldiers are women and can't even conceive of someone in a uniform with pants being female.  So to prevent cultural conflict, U.S. female soldiers on gun raids in remote villages now bound out of helicopters and immediately strip to their sports bras before searching the women so the Afghan men can tell they're women, too.

*  So now, they think that American men have breasts.

*  That doesn't help: Afghan men have no idea what women look like under their burqas.

*  But women stripping in public makes Afghan men furious!

*  And you can tell they're American, because it's just like a scene out of "Charlie's Angels."

Holy Crap! - China is officially atheist, yet in the first 10 months of 2002, they exported $939 million worth of lights, ornaments, plastic
wreaths, tinsel, inflatable Santas and other Christmas-related paraphernalia, mostly to the US.

*  And they say they aren't religious!

*  It's valued at $939 million...After Christmas, $49.95.

JEALOUS MODEL SENTENCED FOR BIKINI PRANK  - Jealous fashion model Olga Schutzen, 20, landed in a Berlin court after she bragged to friends about sabotaging a rival's photo shoot by putting itching powder in her bikini.  The victim, 19-year-old Anja Lesismann, said, "It was agony."  The judge ordered Schutzen to pay Anja for her lost earnings and for her to visit a health club for a week.

*  She's been itching to go to a health club.

*  It was agony...but they got some GREAT pictures!

*  It was agony because it was a thong bikini.

*  I can't believe a bikini model couldn't find someone who was willing to help scratch her.

BRAD PITT CAR AD BANNED IN MALAYSIA  - Malaysia's government has banned some Toyota ads featuring Brad Pitt, declaring them to be "an insult to Asians."  The Deputy Information Minister said that showing the non-Asian Pitt in the car, the ads "plant a seed of inferiority" among Asian men, making them think that they aren't handsome enough to appear in an ad.

*  Come on!  Brad Pitt makes EVERYONE feel like that!

*  The women feel inferior, too...He's MUCH prettier than they are.

*  They do allow American sitcoms to air, because they all feature fat schlubs married to beautiful women.

*  I thought they'd ban it for false advertising!  I mean, Brad Pitt in a TOYOTA?!

 Jennifer Lopez says she's tired of being called J-Lo because her mom has started calling her by her "celebrity" nickname "J-Lo" whenever she thinks she's behaving badly

...So she hears it ALL the time!

...We should call her "Jell-O," after what she looks like from behind.

Hopes for another season of "Friends" may be quashed by Jennifer Aniston, who told Entertainment Weekly, "In my mind, I'm done.  I want to start my family"

...And she could NEVER appear pregnant on "Friends!"

...Bear in mind, the entire cast of "Friends" is now over 45.



1.  The Democratic Party - Pundits said the 2002 election was "the Democrats' to lose," and they took it literally.  A special "Never Give Up" award goes to Walter Mondale for coming out of retirement to lose the only state he won in 1984, thus finally cleaning up the one blotch on a perfect record.

2.  Michael Jackson - Made headlines in 2002 for getting sued, calling his label head a racist, making his kids wear burqas to the zoo, dangling a baby over a balcony and shocking the world just by showing his face in public.  Note that none of these headlines contained the phrase "hit record."  

3.  Arthur Andersen - This spot could go to Enron, WorldCom or many others, but Arthur Andersen was the common thread in so many corporate scandals. Plus, it was founded to insure that other companies' books were accurate.  Talk about losing sight of the goal! 

4.  Osama bin Laden - You can tell that both terrorists and rock stars are dead when they stop putting out new videos and fans have to settle for bad homemade audiotapes that don't even sound like them.  

5.  Madonna - Still groundlessly insisting she is an actress, Madonna made her most lethal stab at movie stardom yet with "Swept Away."  By the end of its two-week run, it was playing to an average of two people per screening, ironically making it the perfect date movie. 

6.  Sen. Trent Lott - An ordinary mortal would need a time machine to lose the 1948 election six weeks after winning the 2002 election, but Lott has a supernatural ability to put his foot in his mouth faster than light speed and turn back the clock.  Unfortunately for him, nobody wanted to accompany him.    

7.  The Stupidest Criminals of 2002 (Tie) - U.S. Division: the Slidell, Louisiana, teens who stole a Krispy Kreme truck, apparently not realizing that cops would chase it even if it weren't stolen.  Foreign Division: The would-be robber in Giessen, Germany, who pulled a burlap bag over his head then stumbled blindly around a bank lobby because he forgot to cut eyeholes. 

8.  Phil Donahue - Apparently thawed out from a 1978 cryogenic freezing to anchor MSNBC's new talk lineup, Donahue proved to be a true anchor and sank the whole network.  His rating hit 0.1, the lowest for which Nielsen has a number, which means it's doubtful even Marlo Thomas was watching him.

9.  Kmart - The hapless discount chain's stock plummeted as it sought bankruptcy protection.  Luckily, Kmart had a beloved, non-controversial celebrity spokeswoman: Rosie O'Donnell.  Oops!  Well, thank goodness, they still had Martha Stewart!  Uh-oh.

10. Helene Eksterowicz from "The Bachelor" - All the women on this show had self-esteem so low, they were willing to flaunt themselves like harem girls on national TV to win a dork they had never even met.  But Helene is the biggest loser of the lot because she actually won him.  

Laura Harring
(1, 2, 3, 4)

In the offbeat "Mulholland Drive". She is also known as Laura Herring and Laura Martinez.

Naomi Watts
(1, 2)

In the offbeat "Mulholland Drive". She can also be seen in the last two Harring pics above.

Naomi Campbell
(1, 2, 3, 4)

a mini-tribute to the world's most famous butt in the pre J-Lo era

Angela Winkler
(1, 2, 3, 4)

in The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum

Sam Fox

the new Sam, implant-free, but still big

Shireen Crutchfield

in "Love and a Bullet"

Maria Kavardjikova

in "Druids"