Johnny Web's junk (Uncle Scoopy)
Yo, dudes, junior is working on his tan in the Caribbean this week, and I'm
doing double duty, working on this page.
Life isn't necessarily fair.
He returns Saturday.
is a lame 1995 horror film from the Re-Animator team. Unfortunately
they left the humor on the re-animation table.
Deathbed is a
2002 STV - a ghost story. Actually not a bad flick for a zero
budgeter. Now fnd it on the same DVD as Castle Freak
Members of a lesbian feminist group have been arrested for filming a
nude soap opera in the streets of a Bolivian city. That's a
Invaluable resource -
the misheard lyrics site
another great resource -
world's worst names for your baby
After finding no response to his recent groveling,
will commit ritual suicide - "With my inappropriate, insensitive
comments, I have brought shame to myself, my family, the United
States Senate, and my country," Lott said. "According to the
Boshido, or the way of the warrior, the only way I can overcome my
disgrace is through death."
More Kiistmas Kitsch - Jesus action figure -
now with glidotronic power to simulate walking on water!
Unbelievably good reviews for The Two Towers!
The Anna Nicole Smith Christmas special - featuring the penis
puppeteers. Now that's the way Christmas was intended to be.
Spiritual, dignified, both joyful and solemn, yet always leaving
room for penis puppetry.
The one thing that's been missing from your life -
a live 24/7 John Tesh cam. You have to go to Tesh's site just to
see the sappy graphics.
Rish Limbaugh now claims that it is merely an internet rumor that he
avoided military service because of a boil on his butt.
Snopes.com finds out that (1) Rush did have a pilonidal cyst, and
that (2) a pilonidal cyst always has been a legitimate deferment. So
draw your own conclusions.
Bill of Rights streamlined to get rid of some of those unnecessary
Scoop's notes in yellow
Dear Scoopy - Arielle Dombasle. Just a few words
about frame 2 in yesterday's Funhouse. This picture comes from the
movie "Les pyramides bleues" (1988), aka "The Novice", which Arielle
herself directed. You can read in the "clapper" the Spanish title of
the flick : "La novicia" and the name of the cameraman, Renan Pollès.
Great contribution! Thanks
Scoop - Romanian gymnasts. The
Japanese DVD they appear in is called Gold Bird. It can be ordered
on amazon.co.jp if you manage to go through the ordering procedure
without reading japanese (hopefully, all amazon sites are exactly
alike). I thought it could be of some interest for some of your
Scoopy, do you know if anyone ever
capped Edie Falco's nude appearance in the Broadway play, Frankie
and Johnnie in the Claire de Lun? I saw this week that Rosie Perez
will be taking over the role and I hope that someone is able to
get caps of her too. By the way, I'm glad that someone
capped Linda Gray's work in the stage production of The Graduate.
Haven't seen anything yet.
There is no dependable source of pictures for stage plays. It is
"catch as catch can". We saw the nudity from Kathleen Turner and
Linda Gray, for example, but still have not seen Anne Archer (or
Lorraine Bracco, who just opened) in the same role. Among the other
missing persons are
Michelle Williams' appearance in Killer Joe
Kidman's famous appearance in The Blue Room.
I hope that somebody somewhere has taken pictures of those
performances, so that we can see them someday.
Scoop. I'M CONFUSED. IS ROBYN HARRIS ALSO GAIL
HARRIS? IN YOUR ARCHIVES, THERE ARE CAPS OF "BOTH" FROM THE MOVIE
"MASSEUSE", SOME SCENES ARE THE SAME.
Yup, same woman. Page 3
girl Gail Thackray is also the same woman. Gail Harris (Robyn
Harris), a regular in the world of porn, finally moved to the other
side of the camera to become a publisher/editor for the Larry Flynt
organization. She's been in the biz for nearly two decades, but is
only in her 30s, and still takes an occasional acting gig.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
pics from Tuna
The Getaway (1994) was done so long ago that I wasn't even writing reviews yet.
My caps looked more like a VHS version, and, with Kim Basinger showing
everything, and Jennifer Tilly showing breasts and buns, I had to do it
properly. Reviewing it is another matter, wherein I prove yet again that I have
no taste. I have always enjoyed this semi-comedic crime thriller. IMDB readers
have it at 5.5 of 10, with nearly every group about the same, except IMDB staff,
which has it at 7.6 of 10. Basinger won a razzie for worst actress, and an MTV
award for most desirable female. Ebert hated it at 1 star, and it scores 25% at
Rotten Tomatoes, with 0% from the top critics. I think it is more a matter of
how you see the film. As a crime thriller, it is laughable. Then again, as a
comedy, it is laughable, but that is a good thing.
Basically, Alec Baldwin is a master thief and all around tough guy, and Basinger
is his main squeeze. He is double crossed by Michael Madsen and ends up in a
Mexican jail. Basinger uses all her assets to takl a crime bigwig into using his
influence to get him out. The condition is that Baldwin will work for him, and
his partner is, you guessed it, Madsen. After the big robbery of a dog track,
Baldwin and Basinger have the money, most of the gang are dead, and a wounded
Madsen is out for blood. All are trying to get out of the country. Madsen
kidnaps a vet and his wife, Jennifer Tilly, to help him get there.
Even though I find it entertaining, the proper score is D+. It is technically
competent, but few enjoy it.
- Thumbnails (1, 2)
- Jennifer Tilly ( 1,
- Kim Basinger (
words and pics from Brainscan
Former Miss Thailand,
Tanya Suesantisuka. My brother, who has traveled everywhere, tells me there
are no ugly women in Thailand.
And then there was Kirsten Imrie (1,
8) (couldn't find #3, if
it exists) who may never have won a Miss Anywhere contest, but she is beyond
sexy. She once appeared in Penthouse as Kirsten Stewart ... whence cometh most
of these scans.
pics from RDO
More golden oldies and more wallpapers.
Nastassia Kinski in "To The Devil, a Daughter"
pics from Hankster
Today we look at a Hammer horror classic
film,1972's "Demons of the Mind". First we have Gillian Hills (1
with a little boob exposure and then Virginia Wetherell (1
shows it all.
We also return to 1969's "Dracula the Dirty
Old Man", for an undressing scene from Ann Hollis (1,
as Dracula peers through her window. Ann suffers no harm here, but she will
return another day when Dracula gets his hands on her (or should I say
These are from a 1991 issue of French Photo
Angie Everhart. This pic
is not worth it for the nudity, but it's a lovely scan of a lovely woman
before she was famous.
Nicole Beach (1,
Best ... Snowmen ... Ever!
Snow sculpture at its finest. (1, 2)
One more funny real-life thing. Names
that should not be hyphenated.
The Comedy Wire
from Pat Reeder
Pat's comments in yellow
Best ... War ... EVER! - The Independent UK reports
that men in Afghanistan are furious over newspaper photos of U.S. soldiers
checking under women's burqas for weapons. They refuse to believe the soldiers
are women and can't even conceive of someone in a uniform with pants being
female. So to prevent cultural conflict, U.S. female soldiers on gun raids in
remote villages now bound out of helicopters and immediately strip to their
sports bras before searching the women so the Afghan men can tell they're women,
* So now, they think that American men have breasts.
* That doesn't help: Afghan men have no idea what women look like under their
* But women stripping in public makes Afghan men furious!
* And you can tell they're American, because it's just like a scene out of
Holy Crap! - China is officially atheist, yet in
the first 10 months of 2002, they exported $939 million worth of lights,
wreaths, tinsel, inflatable Santas and other Christmas-related paraphernalia,
mostly to the US.
* And they say they aren't religious!
* It's valued at $939 million...After Christmas, $49.95.
JEALOUS MODEL SENTENCED FOR BIKINI PRANK - Jealous fashion model Olga
Schutzen, 20, landed in a Berlin court after she bragged to friends about
sabotaging a rival's photo shoot by putting itching powder in her bikini. The
victim, 19-year-old Anja Lesismann, said, "It was agony." The judge ordered
Schutzen to pay Anja for her lost earnings and for her to visit a health club
for a week.
* She's been itching to go to a health club.
* It was agony...but they got some GREAT pictures!
* It was agony because it was a thong bikini.
* I can't believe a bikini model couldn't find someone who was willing to help
BRAD PITT CAR AD BANNED IN MALAYSIA - Malaysia's government has banned
some Toyota ads featuring Brad Pitt, declaring them to be "an insult to
Asians." The Deputy Information Minister said that showing the non-Asian Pitt
in the car, the ads "plant a seed of inferiority" among Asian men, making them
think that they aren't handsome enough to appear in an ad.
* Come on! Brad Pitt makes EVERYONE feel like that!
* The women feel inferior, too...He's MUCH prettier than they are.
* They do allow American sitcoms to air, because they all feature fat schlubs
married to beautiful women.
* I thought they'd ban it for false advertising! I mean, Brad Pitt in a
Jennifer Lopez says she's tired of being called J-Lo because her mom has
started calling her by her "celebrity" nickname "J-Lo" whenever she thinks she's
...So she hears it ALL the time!
...We should call her "Jell-O," after what she looks like
Hopes for another season of "Friends" may be quashed by Jennifer Aniston, who
told Entertainment Weekly, "In my mind, I'm done. I want to start my family"
...And she could NEVER appear pregnant on "Friends!"
...Bear in mind, the entire cast of "Friends" is now over
THE COMEDY WIRE'S "TOP TEN LOSERS OF 2002"
1. The Democratic Party - Pundits said the 2002 election was "the Democrats' to
lose," and they took it literally. A special "Never Give Up" award goes to
Walter Mondale for coming out of retirement to lose the only state he won in
1984, thus finally cleaning up the one blotch on a perfect record.
2. Michael Jackson - Made headlines in 2002 for getting sued, calling his label
head a racist, making his kids wear burqas to the zoo, dangling a baby over a
balcony and shocking the world just by showing his face in public. Note that
none of these headlines contained the phrase "hit record."
3. Arthur Andersen - This spot could go to Enron, WorldCom or many others, but
Arthur Andersen was the common thread in so many corporate scandals. Plus, it
was founded to insure that other companies' books were accurate. Talk
about losing sight of the goal!
4. Osama bin Laden - You can tell that both terrorists and rock stars are dead
when they stop putting out new videos and fans have to settle for bad homemade
audiotapes that don't even sound like them.
5. Madonna - Still groundlessly insisting she is an actress, Madonna made her
most lethal stab at movie stardom yet with "Swept Away." By the end of its
two-week run, it was playing to an average of two people per screening,
ironically making it the perfect date movie.
6. Sen. Trent Lott - An ordinary mortal would need a time machine to lose the
1948 election six weeks after winning the 2002 election, but Lott has a
supernatural ability to put his foot in his mouth faster than light speed and
turn back the clock. Unfortunately for him, nobody wanted to accompany him.
7. The Stupidest Criminals of 2002 (Tie) - U.S. Division: the Slidell,
Louisiana, teens who stole a Krispy Kreme truck, apparently not realizing that
cops would chase it even if it weren't stolen. Foreign Division: The would-be
robber in Giessen, Germany, who pulled a burlap bag over his head then stumbled
blindly around a bank lobby because he forgot to cut eyeholes.
8. Phil Donahue - Apparently thawed out from a 1978 cryogenic freezing to
anchor MSNBC's new talk lineup, Donahue proved to be a true anchor and sank the
whole network. His rating hit 0.1, the lowest for which Nielsen has a number,
which means it's doubtful even Marlo Thomas was watching him.
9. Kmart - The hapless discount chain's stock plummeted as it sought bankruptcy
protection. Luckily, Kmart had a beloved, non-controversial celebrity
spokeswoman: Rosie O'Donnell. Oops! Well, thank goodness, they still had
Martha Stewart! Uh-oh.
10. Helene Eksterowicz from "The Bachelor" - All the women on this show had
self-esteem so low, they were willing to flaunt themselves like harem girls on
national TV to win a dork they had never even met. But Helene is the biggest
loser of the lot because she actually won him.
|In the offbeat "Mulholland Drive". She is also known as Laura
Herring and Laura Martinez.
|In the offbeat "Mulholland Drive". She can also be seen in the
last two Harring pics above.
|a mini-tribute to the world's most famous butt in the pre J-Lo
|in The Lost Honor of Katharina Blum
|the new Sam, implant-free, but still big
|in "Love and a Bullet"