Tuesday

Notes
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Tuna
"Jackpot"

Jackpot (2001) is a buddy road trip film about a wannabee country singer (Jon Gries) who abandons his wife (Daryl Hannah) and young child, steals her pink New Yorker, and heads off on a tour with his manager (Garrett Morris) to become rich and famous by winning Karaoke contest all across the country. While he is not a terrible singer and wins a few contests, the two are broke and struggling most of the time. Gries is something of a ladies man, and his wife wants her car back, and child support.

The film is a zero budget effort from the Polish brothers, Mark and Michael (Twin Falls Idaho). It has many funny moments, but suffers from pace problems in many of the scenes. The humor is sometimes physical, and even resorts to fart jokes and putting a fly in your food to avoid paying for the meal, but is mostly watchable. Daryl Hannah looked great, and shows a lot of cleavage, as does Crystal Bernard. The closest to exposure is from Camillia Clouse, who is wearing what we used to call "beaver cheaters" (find someone who remembers the 60s and ask them) and a tight top, as she tries to seduce Gries. He starts having second thoughts when she asks him to sign her yearbook, but it is not until she starts blowing on his crotch, thinking that is how to give a blow job that his conscience gets the better of hi. We can see her nipple through the top, and there are several pokies. Mostly though, I just like the cute nightclothes. Ebert, like most critics, says this is a sophomore slump for the Polish brothers, but gives it two stars anyway. IMDB readers say 5.8 of 10, but with few precincts reporting. Despite its directing mis-steps, the film is watchable. C-.

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  • Camillia Clouse (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Crystal Bernard (1, 2)
  • Daryl Hannah

    "The Center of the World"

    The Center of the World (2001) director Wayne Wang graduated from film school, and went back to China to find work. His first offer was making soft-core for the Japanese/Chinese market. He got another offer, and didn't take the job, but felt that he may have missed out, so, after several films, he decided to try his hand at porn. While doing some research in Silicon Valley, he noticed that the strip clubs were frequented by a lot of rich dot com types, and the idea for the story was born. A computer nerd who has already made a lot of money and is waiting for an IPO strikes up a conversation with a woman he has seen every day in a coffee shop. He discovers she is a wannabe drummer who strips to support herself.

    He goes to her club and pays for a lap dance, then decides to pay her $10,000.00 for a three day lap dance in Las Vegas. She agrees, but points out that there will be no kissing, and no penetration. She says, "You do realize this is just a show." In Vegas, she does her beast to entertain him, but it is clear he wants to reach her on some emotional level, although we do not learn enough about him to know what he really does want. While she decides that she kind of likes him, she has no interest in anything but doing a good job and earning her money. After the three days, they go home, he finds the IPO took off and he is worth $20 megabucks, and goes to the strip club and pays her for a lap dance.

    Scoopy saw this as a pretty good social commentary, and commented on the cinema verite appearance of the footage, which was dark, grainy, and deliberately washed out and, in some cases, textured. The entire film was shot on Hi res digital video, and all of the effects were done in the camera. I didn't see any of the merit Scoop did. From my viewpoint, we started with the nerd paying for a lap dance and ended in exactly the same place. Neither character was developed enough to care about, neither progressed in the film, and the photographic style detracted from the nudity, which was the only worthwhile element for me. We have mostly breasts from star Molly Parker, breasts from an unknown stripper, and the infamous lolly in the love box scene with Alisha Klass.

    I found nothing in this film to bring me back for a second look. Evidently, they convinced Wang to shoot additional footage for a porn Web site for the film as well. http://www.center-of-the-world.com/. I spent some time there, but never got passed the adult content warnings and initial splash files. I can't imagine why anyone would want to watch this film, and even if the terrible video was intentional, it was still terrible video. D+.

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  • Alisha Klass
  • Molly Parker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Unknown

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Here's a major dilemma for me. You guys know that I hate all vampire films, and love all midget films. So what do I do when Count Dracula is three feet tall? I'm so conflicted.

    The Creeps is a low budget comedy/horror film which is actually pretty good. I say that of course, aware that you know that a film about midget monsters can't be Schindler's List, no matter how good it is. Let me re-word that. It isn't good in the sense that "The Godfather, Part 2" is good. It's good in the sense that "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" is good.. But for what it aspires to - it ain't so bad. It is a watchable lowbrow horror comedy, kind of a grade C version of Bordello of Blood (assuming Bordello itself is already a B picture) . Unfortunately, the low-rent detective was many, many levels below Dennis Miller.

    • Kristin Norton (1, 2)

     


    Krámpack is a Spanish coming-of-age film. Tuna and I had one of our rare major disagreements on this one. He really liked it, and I never believed the script. I thought it was just sorta OK, no better. I wasn't even that impressed with the cinematography and set design, which I found kinda average by Spanish standards. I wouldn't say I give it a "thumb down", but I sure don't recommend it, and wouldn't ever watch it again. On the other hand, the critics are with Tuna on this one -85% good reviews, so I guess the fact that I can't believe the characters has more to do with me than with the characters themselves.

    • Marieta Orozco. I was hoping the other girl (pretty face, heavy breasts) would get nekkid, but she never did. Marieta was a weak second choice (not much shape, bad teeth). (1, 2)

     


    New Encyclopedia Volumes: Samantha Morton, Jane March

    Encyclopedia updates: Kim Yates

    Hankster
    Amy Lynn Baxter
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Scoop...more from the "Hankster Lite" collection:

    Amy Lynn Baxter topless From that blockbuster hit "Golfballs!" Guess I did this one because I did meet her a few years ago at a strip club.

    Barbara Crampton
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    Here's a little something from the "Babes in Bondage" series...the classic scene of Barbara Crampton topless (plus a little bush in links 9 and 10) from "Re-Animator".

    Brainscan
    Sadly, the comments that Brainscan prepared to go along with today's images vanished into the network abyss. Another unsolved mystery for Robert Stack...where exactly does missing email go?

    Today's goodies are collages assembled from vidcaps by Tuna and Scoop.

  • Barbi Benton topless images of Hef's former girlfriend in scenes from "Deathstalker" (1984)

  • Cynthia Preston, as far as I know, she's not related to Bill S. Preston, Esq. Here are some extreme thong views in the Hulk Hogan flick "The Ultimate Weapon".

  • Cynthia Rothrock, the martial artist turned actress shows a see-thru nipple, and a brief bare breast in "Sworn to Justice". Not to be confused with martial artist turned actor, Steven Seagal's movie "Out for Justice".

  • Donna Mills, just a hint of nipple in "Play Misty For Me" aka "Fatal Attraction 16 years before Fatal Attraction came out". This 1971 movie was Clint Eastwood's first time in the directors chair.

  • Erika Blanc, a brief bit of nipple from some silly 70's Euro-Trash flick called "La Terrificante notte del demonio". Probably has something to do with stranded tourists, spooky mansions and vampires. I think every European B-movie made in the 70's followed the same formula.

  • Gabriella Hall, topless in scenes from "The Seductress"

  • Glenise Braithwaite, thong views and a little breast exposure from the Hip Hop beach movie "Phat Beach".

  • Gwynyth Walsh, nipple exposure in scenes from "2103: The Deadly Wake". This movie stars not just one, but TWO Fun House Walk of Fame members! Malcolm McDowell and Michael Paré!

  • Helen Campitelli, toplessness from the movie "Squeeze Play"

  • Jill Kelly and Chasey Lain and their robo-hooters making a non-porno guest appearance in Spike Lee's "He Got Game"

  • Jo Ann Harris, topless in 1969's "The Gay Deceivers".

  • Blackshine
    Scans and comments by Blackshine:

    This is Sylvie Blum, model & wife of Gunther Blum - she's a professional photographer and these images are from her 1st book "Venus selbst" (Günther Blum did a few books entitled "Venus" where she was the model - so much about the title)

    All the images are self portraits taken with a Polaroid camera, print size is 8x8 cm - so don`t expect high-quality. Some call this book a piece of visual-art, others a big piece of bullshit - I tend to be in the second group, but after half of the images were done I really like this series. Judge for yourself.

    Part 2 follows later this week

    Jr's Comments:

    There is plenty of nudity in this batch. Mostly of Sylvie's very ample bosom and several close-up gyno-shots. Fair warning, many are "artistic". Which is a nice way of saying "out of focus".

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  • Sylvie Blum
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42)

  • Variety
    Rebecca Pidgeon
    (1, 2)

    Hey Scoop

    Here are two from the movie "State and Main". Her nips were shown in only 2 frames of the whole movie!

    -DeafBeer

    The Funnies
  • Finally, a chain letter worth reading!

    This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything.

    Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented.

    Then bundle up your wife and/or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the following list, and add your name to the bottom of the list.

    When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have.

    At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom 4 were worth keeping.

    REMEMBER this chain brings luck.

    One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy swimsuit model.

    An unmarried computer geek living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooters waitress and a Hollywood super model.

    You can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN!

    One man broke the chain, and got his own wife back again.

    Let's keep it going, men! Just add your name to the list below!

    Bill Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    William Jefferson Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    W. J. Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    William Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    W Jefferson Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    William J Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    Slick W. Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

    Mr. Hillary Clinton
    780 3rd Ave
    New York, NY 10017

  • Celeb News
  • Tom Green Files for Divorce From Drew Barrymore! That's right...HE filed the papers. Click here for the story.


  • Shoplifting Winona Says It Was Research

    Troubled actress Winona Ryder was acting out a role when she was caught shoplifting in Los Angeles. The 30-year-old star was arrested last week after surveillance cameras allegedly caught her cramming clothes, hair accessories and a handbag worth an estimated total of $4,900 into a bag. But the millionairess, stopped by security staff in the Saks Fifth Avenue department store in Beverly Hills, snapped back, "I'm doing this for research for my job."

    According to British tabloid the News Of The World a source close to the investigation told how Winona stunned guards by claiming a movie director had advised her to try shoplifting for a forthcoming screen role. He adds, "She told them the director had suggested she do this for research." Pals say Winona, who was released on $20,000 bail, will now seek treatment at the exclusive Promises clinic in Malibu, California. Fellow movie stars Ben Affleck, Robert Downey, Jr. and Charlie Sheen have all been treated at the $20,000-a-week clinic.

    Scoop's comments: I suggested this alibi two days ago, but I thought I was kidding! The best thing about it is that it conflicts with the last story told by Winona's lawyer, who claimed that she has receipts. (If she has the receipts, she shouldn't get the role! Terrible shoplifting audition!)

    So far, they have tried all three tactics:

    1. The lawyer suggested that she was intending to pay.
    2. Later, the lawyer suggested that she did pay, and had receipts.
    3. Now, the story is that she didn't pay, but was researching a role.

    There you have it - three completely contradictory alibis, all floated to see if anything would be bought by the press. It is, in fact, a perfect parallel to the Taliban spokesmen, who would float different lies every day, oblivious to the fact that they contradicted yesterday's lies.

    And of course, the extra bonus is that she is getting treatment. So, tell me, if she was just researching a role and didn't do anything wrong - what is she getting treated for?