• * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Horror Rises From the Tomb


Horror Rises from the Tomb is a Spanish horror offering written by and starring Paul Naschy.

In medieval France, an evil conjurer (Paul Naschy) and his female vampire companion (Helga Liné) are executed by the inquisition after their depraved activities are revealed by the conjurer's brother (Paul Naschy). Both of them vow revenge, so his head is removed, and the head and body are hidden separately.

Cut to the present day, where a man (Paul Naschy), his best friend, and two women become intrigued by a medium, attend a seance, and try to contact these two ancient miscreants. They then decide to hunt for the medieval remains, which just happen to be at an estate owned by one of the modern characters. They find what they are looking for, find themselves trapped on the estate, and must battle the locals as well as Naschy (ancient conjurer version) and Helga Liné, who create zombies to assist them. Most of the deaths result from edged weapons, creating lots of blood.

Naschy was a busy fellow in the early seventies. In addition to writing and playing three roles in this film, he wrote and starred in seven other films in 1973 alone. In his spare time that year he acted in three more films written by others. As you can imagine, it is difficult to create great scripts when churning out one per month. I found this particular one tedious for the most part, but with some occasional good camera work.

While the movie is not especially good, the DVD is full of special features, including the non-nude scenes shot for Spanish release, a commentary, and a choice of English or Spanish with optional English subtitles. This is a nice job on a Spanish cinema oddity that will please aficionados, but will certainly not make any new converts to Eurosleaze horrotica.

IMDb readers say 4.8.


Helga Liné and Betsabé Ruiz do full frontal. Emma Cohen, María José Cantudo and an unknown all show breasts and buns.


Helga Line


Betsabe Ruiz


Emma Cohen


Maria Jose Cantudo













We are busy cleaning up from an ice storm, so two very quick sets of two actresses who have not done a whole bunch of nudity.

1001 Nuits

First up a very young Catherine Zeta-Jones with very brief breasts in "1001 Nights." Plus she is naked on a guys lap, but there are no bits showing. Still hot though.


Fair Game

Cindy Crawford brief boobs in "Fair Game", dark scenes just as she shoots a guy with her top pulled up.






Notes and collages

Unlikely Angel

Dolly Parton


"I didn't know about this sweet Christmas tale until I bought it to cap Dolly Parton. The sentimentalist that I can be I cried while watching it ...

For you non-sentimental folk, Ms. Parton dresses her hour-glass figure expressively throughout this G film. Lots of cleavage. Yay."








Subspecies is the first of a trilogy of Vampire movies. If you haven't watched them you should, the atmosphere alone makes them worthwhile. I love horror movies and the Subspecies trilogy plus the Vampire Journals movie from the same people who did Subspecies, are the best Vampire movies out there, so if you are lucky enough to find them, go ahead and give them a shot.

Irina Movila

 (note: there is no number 10)



Michelle McBride












Sending along a few things that were captured from videotape. All feature former Hefmates.

First off is a trio of collages and a couple of clips of December 1982 Hefmate Charlotte Helmcamp (aka Charlotte Kemp) in Posed for Murder.  Gads, it's been 25 years since she appeared with a staple in her navel. Seems like only yesterday.

Staying with the Hefmate theme, here is a pair of clips featuring Lynda Wiesmeier, Miss July 1982. 

  • First one is The Shower Scene from Private School. Yep, The Shower Scene. I would take a college course on this scene. Not only is Lynda in it (she's the exuberantly buxom blonde, front left of the shower) but also a young and delicious Brinke Stevens (brunette on the left). Guys have tried to figure out the names of the other four gals (several names are listed in IMDB as "School Girl" but I've not seen anything definitive. Too bad because this is at the top of the Brainscan list of most popular minutes in movie history.
  • Second Lynda Wiesmeier movie is entitled RSVP. Director Lem Amero's last effort...most of his previous work was in hardcore. Lynda was 20 when she made these two films and even though she had a most exuberant body, all of it defied gravity. Couldn't act a lick but she was blessed in other departments.

Two more clips from a movie that is sometimes called Hard Vice and other times Vegas Vice. Both clips star Hefmates.

  • One is Rebecca Ferratti, who once had a delightful all-natural body. After-markets ruined everything.
  • And the second Hefmate to appear in Hard (Vegas) Vice is Shannon Tweed.










Bikini Bloodbath

2006's horror/comedy Bikini Bloodbath is a monumental achievement in filmmaking, with an exceptional cast, fantastic acting, a great script, and ..... er, NOT.

Actually, it's a piece of crap, but at least they threw in a few boobies to ease the pain.

The plot, if you can call it that, is that seven high school girls gather for a slumber party after the last day of school to celebrate going away to collage. A local chef has gone postal, too many steaks on the grill, apparently, and is on a killing spree. Can the girls be his next victims? Count on it.

This one is played strictly for laughs, but an inept cast and really bad script keep those to a minimum. The only person you're likely to recognize is Debbie Rochon, playing the girl's volleyball coach. She doesn't get naked, and in this one, that's not a loss.

Really bad. Just fast-forward through the garbage and enjoy the nude and bikini scenes. Oh, yeah, almost forgot. The girls spend most of their slumber party in bikinis. Don't ask me why.


Leah Ford and others






Film Clips


Nicole Kidman - public nipple appearance. She has really been working that Zonker Harris tan! She makes Edgar Winter look like George Hamilton.

Jessica Simpson in Blonde Ambition (no nudity)

Laura Antonelli in Tranches de Vie






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

The New York Post reports that an online survey by sexologist Bob
Berkowitz and his writer wife, Susan Yager-Berkowitz, estimates that 20 million American marriages are sexless or nearly so, and it's not just women saying no to sex.  Husbands are also avoiding sex, largely because they're just bored with their wives.  One 57-year-old husband summed it up for many, saying, "She doesn't want anything except same place, same time, same way and that's always with the TV taking priority."

*  Remind me again:  Why do gay people want to get married? 


The turducken - a chicken stuffed inside a duck inside a turkey - is now for sissies.  The London Daily Telegraph reports that for holiday dinners, chefs are stuffing more and more birds inside each other.  TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall stuffed an 18-pound turkey with
a goose, duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and woodcock.  But Anne Petch of Devon beat them all with her "True Love Roast."  Inspired by "The 12 Days of Christmas," it combines breast meat from 48 birds of 12 species.  It costs over $1300 (US), weighs 56 pounds, has 50,000 calories and feeds 125 people.   

*  Or five Americans. 


Providing further evidence that bottled water is one of the world's most lucrative scams, the British wine drinker's magazine Decanter ran a blind taste test of 20 bottled waters, judged by some of the nation's most sophisticated wine tasters.  The winner was a New Zealand water, Waiwera, which is $18 a liter.  In second place was Vittel, sold at Tesco supermarkets for 68 cents a liter.  Another New Zealand water that supposedly comes from 200 yards below volcanic rock and costs $100 a liter came it 18th.  Beating it and many other expensive waters, and ranked first by one top sommelier, was London tap water.  

*  Ironically, if you can afford to live in London, you probably don't mind paying $100 for a liter of water.