Yo, dudes, junior is working on his tan in the Caribbean this week, and I'm doing double duty, working on this page.

Life isn't necessarily fair.

He returns Saturday.

Chicks:

Cameron Diaz. (1, 2) Bikini shots from the new Vanity Fair.

More from the new Sleuth. It is his Shock Jock theme this month. I placed the file sizes on the thumbnail pages. Some of these are quite small, and many of you don't like the lower-res stuff. Even though the quality was mediocre at best, I included the pics because of the gorgeous full-frontal nudity. The best two ate the first one of Acuff and the first of Grigorieva.

• Thumbnails (1, 2)
• Tatiana Grigorieva, Sleuth's #1. Born in Russia, but competes for Australia in the pole vault. Sleuth picked her as the sexiest female athlete, even over her more famous tennis playing compatriot. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
• Karri Pottharst, Sleuth's #9. Aussie beach volleyball star. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Amy Acuff, Sleuth's #6. High jumping Texan (1, 2)

Movies:

Adaptation doesn't even open widely until Friday. At this point it is playing in fewer than a dozen theaters. Excellent film, but seriously strange. It is Charlie Kaufman's (writer) and Spike Jonze's (director) follow-up to Being John Malkovich. It's too complicated to explain in a paragraph. It's so damned convoluted that you'd need to summarize it at Russian novel length. Read the info page for details. For our purposes on this page (1) Judy Greer removes her top (2) Meryl Streep packs heat and poses topless for a porn site. The picture does show her face and breasts together in a photograph, but if you are a gambling man, I think the smart money would be on "Streep's head, someone else's body".

• Greer (1, 2)
• The Streepmeisterin, or somebody else

Other crap:

• Japan's gymnastics chiefs are to lodge a formal protest with their Romanian counterparts after double Olympic gold medallist Lavinia Milosovici filmed a nude performance near Tokyo. We remain your one-stop source for news about naked Romanian gymnasts and vampires. And we remain your source for evil dwarf news, as well.

• Lorraine Bracco takes Broadway by storm - in the buff.

• Worst ... arcade games ... ever

• Celebrity Gender Bender. One of the more eccentric sites on the web.

• Tarantino plans a new film about the Vega brothers

• E-bay has some hilarious stuff - original bible, autographed by Jesus

• Drudge says Lott must "step down or be pushed"

• The American Film Institute picks the top films of the year.

• URL says it all: www.moviecliches.com

• Google's most popular searches of 2002

• Dave Barry's prescription for a failing economy

• The Flesh Public Library in Piqua, Ohio, named for benefactor Leo Flesh, got locked out of its own Web site by its porn-filtering software.  The story is at http://www.ohio.com/mld/ohio/news/local/4578738.htm
   

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From WENN

LOPEZ AND AFFLECK CALLED BACK TO STOP GIGLI BOMBING. They maybe one of the hottest couple in Hollywood - but JENNIFER LOPEZ and BEN AFFLECK won't be able to enjoy a relaxing Christmas together as they've been ordered to work.  The pair star in upcoming film GIGLI together, but test audiences reacted so badly to the ending that the producer has ordered a re-shoot. A movie source says, "Test audiences said the ending to the film sucks at the moment and at the end of the day, it's got to bring in the dollars at the box office."   The film was set to be released in the New Year (03), but production has now restarted over the festive period to sort out the cheesy climax.  Lopez and Affleck got together on the set of the film this summer (02) and they'll now have a chance to relive this in Los Angeles, US.  The source adds, "Just because you happen to be a multi-million singing diva or a pin-up actor doesn't mean you don't have to go to work like everybody else."

Gigli Based On :
Premise/Synopsis : A hitman named Gigli is assigned to kidnap a mentally handicapped kid brother of a powerful federal prosecutor who is trying to convict an East Coast crimelord that Gigli works for.
Genre : Comedy

Yeah, sounds hilarious.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Bacchanales sexuelles (1973) day two. Tonight, the rest of the women from this Rollin soft core porn. He managed to cover most of the bases, with boy/girl, girl/girl, menage et trois, oral, cat fights, bondage, and discipline.

Tonight's women are:

• Thumbnails  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
• Brigitte De Borghese as the head of the club ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
• The Castel Twins as slaves to Borghese (1, 2)
• Minia Malove ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) , as a slave to Borghese who impersonates a maid to trick Joelle Coeur
• Jenny Trochu ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10), as a slave to Borghese
• Unidentified Victim, to be initiated into the sex club ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

This has the flavor of a hard core in terms of plot, and the amount of time devoted to sex and nudity, but shows no penetration. The lighting and camera work show Rollin's mastery over this aspect of film making, and the film shows every bit of a lot of good looking French actresses. As a vintage soft core, it is a C+.

"Back to the Future"

Back to the Future (1985) was requested by Spaz for the down blouse from Lea Thompson, and I attempted it on a poor bootleg. Here is what I said at the time.

"Back to the Future is one of those films that was hugely popular (7.8/10 and #153 of top 250) that have yet to make it to DVD. Others on the list include M*A*S*H and Beverly Hills Cop. Spaz reminded me that Lea Thompson "nearly falls out of her dress" in the parking lot at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, so I located a bootleg. The quality is not everything I would have liked. Focus is not real good, and color saturation is poor, but we can see major cleavage, and maybe a hint of nipple.

"As a reminder, the film stars Michael J. Fox who ends up in 1955, and must locate Dr. Brown (Christopher Lloyd), inventor of the DeLorean time machine, to get "back to the future." Along the way, he meets his mother, who falls in love with him. This threatens his existence, and he must get his mother and father together. What made the film for me was excellent detain of the era. In one scene, a car pulls into a Texaco station, and several uniformed attendants run out to service the car and pump the gas. This kind of service was common in the 50, and still existed in some places in the 60's. (I still have one of my Texaco shirts). All of the critics love this film, and so do I. B."

Well, M*A*S*H is now available on DVD as is Beverly Hills Cop, and the entire Back to the Future trilogy is being released on a very good looking three disk set. What they didn't do is spend a lot of money on packaging. What they did do was give us pristine transfers, and loads of special features. Now, if we could get Grand Isle, Hospital, Almost Pregnant, Hardcore, How to Beat the High Cost of Living, etc released.

• Thumbnail
• Lea Thompson ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Some interesting material from Mr Skin, from the legendary hippie classic, which featured a very young Don Johnson.

• Karen Lynn Gorney. ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12) There is no #9.   She was in Saturday Night Fever, and was a member of the original cast of All My Children.
• Victoria Racimo ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) There is no #9 . She was also in the immortal cinema classic, G.I. Executioner (1, 2)

I haven't been entirely idle since my great computer crash, I just hadn't gotten around to re-constructing my logo files. Here are some pics from Billy Bathgate. The left image in number 3 is a composite including bits from almost every frame of the dive sequence. I'm rather pleased with the result. I've also included some wallpapers which I think are rather appealing.

Collages (1, 2, 3, 4)

Wallpapers (1, 2)

Caculus ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 )

Pat's comments in yellow   

Notorious ladies man Russell Crowe is engaged to marry his girlfriend Danielle Spencer, and reported went all traditional with a $100,000 ring, a bent-knee proposal and asking her dad for permission

...He said "no," so  Russell beat him until he changed his mind

...He also asked all his other girlfriends' permission

... The $100,000 ring is to make up his future misbehavior

...If he liked making "Gladiator," he'll love being married.

 

Monica Lewinsky was dropped from an appearance on a talk show on state TV in Italy, after politicians deemed it inappropriate to use taxpayer money to pay her expenses and to put her on TV on a Sunday so close to Christmas

...Also, she might start eating breadsticks, and nobody wanted to see that

...There's already been enough tax money spent inappropriately on Monica Lewinsky.


 

Police in Grand Prairie, Texas, subdued an armed robber who was holding them off in his parked car by blasting water in his face from a high pressure hose

...Judging from his mug shot, this must've been how they arrested Nick Nolte.


 

In a poll by Karo Corn Syrup, Julia Roberts was voted America's Sweetest Celebrity

...I'm surprised she could win, with all the men who've been engaged to her voting against her

... Ironically, corn syrup will rot your teeth

...People thought of corn syrup and thought they were voting for "Most Stuck on Herself."


 

One of Eminem's boyhood homes in Michigan that sold last June for $45,000 drew bids of up to $12 million on eBay, but after all the phony bids were weeded out, the highest was $75,000

...Boy, did he overpay!

...But they'll have to spend $12 million on spray paint removal.


 

"Maid In Manhattan" with Jennifer Lopez was #1 at the weekend box office, just barely ahead of the new "Star Trek" movie

...Only because guys who saw "Maid" brought dates with them

...No planet in "Star Trek" has more pull than J-Lo's moon

..."Maid In Manhattan" boldly goes where "Pretty Woman" went before.

 

JAPAN OFFICIALS PROTEST NAKED GYMNASTS. More Cartwheels! - Gymnastics officials in Japan will lodge a formal complaint with Romanian gym officials over a performance filmed near Tokyo by retired Olympic gold medalist Lavinia Milosovici and two other female Romanian gymnasts.  The three already posed nude for a Japanese magazine, and now, they're filming a DVD of them doing the balance bar and other stunts while naked.  Japanese officials called it "disgraceful" and said it's "dreadful to imagine children believing that you can make money by winning a medal and posing nude."

*  Yeah, who do they think they are?!  Katarina Witt?

*  Kids already know you don't need to win a medal to be a success...Just pose nude.

*  Why, the Olympics would never tolerate athletes competing in the nude!