Members' bonuses. Caligula.


I talked about this several days ago, and I can't see devoting more type to it. I separated today's images into five categories.

  1. Pictures in which John Gielgud makes a fool of himself. (#1,#2,#3)
  2. Pictures in which Peter O'Toole makes a fool of himself. (#1, #2)
  3. Pictures in which Malcolm McDowell makes a fool of himself. Actually McDowell did worse than this. He pranced around naked and appeared in some medium-core sex scenes (the woman had her legs open). I think you should forget this and remember him in "Clockwork". By the way, in the second picture, Peter O'Toole is actually far sillier than Malcolm. (#1, #2)
  4. Random softcore. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10)
  5. Random hardcore. Number 6 is my own personal favorite. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7)

    I still have a ton more from this movie, of the other "stars", and those will appear in later editions.

Members' bonuses

a Scoop's thoughts: The "best young actress" competition produced a surprise for me. I'm not surprised that Natalie Portman got some support, but I'm sure surprised that a young whelp like her finished a very strong fourth, ahead of some very established actresses.

A thought or two on the "Brit Thing". If you had run this kind of poll about 30 years ago for men, almost all of the top vote getters would have been from the Isles. In those days, people considered the classically-trained actors to be the great ones, so the ballots would have included O'Toole, Burton, Harris, ..... I suppose Brando would have been the only American among the winners. This is really a matter of the style and conventions of the times. If you look back at some of their performances, you'll see that they were more in love with the sound of their own voices than with conveying the depths of their characters. They were often better at oratory than drama. Burton, in particular, was dreadful in some of those movies where he was Oscar-nominated. Burton and Harris were especially unbelievable when they played contemporary roles, because we know how modern men speak, and that ain't it! But that's not my point. My sub-point is that the times have changed. The naturalistic acting styles took over, Stanislavsky and Strasberg had their way, for better or worse, among male performers. Great American actors from Deniro and Dustin Hoffman to Edward Norton rewrote the rules of male movie performing, and the awards started going to quiet, realistic mumblers instead of the great stentorian orators. In our "best young actor poll", the list was dominated by Yanks. With a few notable exceptions like Branagh, the new non-American leading man seems to be in the Roger Moore mold, not an actor at all, but a charming handsome guy who always plays himself, ala Pierce Brosnan, Mel Gibson, and Hugh Grant.

And even Branagh seems to play every movie as an American now! (Celebrity, the Gingerbread Man, Wild Wild West).

OK, be patient, I'm finally coming to the point. Although the style in male acting has evolved, we still place the non-Americans on a pedestal in the female category. We still seem to think that any woman who doesn't pronounce her "r's" has some talent. I don't mean this to slight Emily Watson, who is a glittering talent and probably deserves her overwhelming victory in this poll, but some of these women aren't that good. Most of the women who score high are those who either are non-Americans or those who often try to act like non-Americans. Even Flockheart tried to act like a Brit in "Midsummer ..." Y'know, I'm not that impressed with most of these women. They are so .... I think the word I'm looking for here is "affected". They still tend to act in the pompous style that male actors abandoned thirty years ago. Give me Mena Suvari over most of these women. Even Rose's McGowan's performance in the grade-b "Southie" and Suvari's in "American Beauty" seemed much more realistic and raw and real to me than the kind of twitty performances that always get nominated for Oscars. In a way it is sad. We have decided that we want to see real men up there on the screen, accompanied by fantasy women. I guess that is cool. We want to see Nolte get Angelina Jolie. I guess we figure if he can, we can.

I vote to make a new Oscar rule. No woman can be nominated for a role in which she uses the emphatic "so", and she is banned from all future nominations for life if she uses "ever so" as in "Oh, I do so like it ever so much". I'm kidding but you know what? That rule would produce better nominations.

The Gist and Lawdog

One Fish, Two Fish
Tuna has day 4 of Kathleen Turner, and the third day of "Body Heat", one of the sexiest pictures ever.

(#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)

Variety today.
  • Michelle Hicks (#1, #2, #3)
  • Mary Anne Fletcher (#1, #2)
  • Meghan Douglas (#1, #2)
  • Mamen Sanz. Huh? isn't she that German group with the giant silent puppets?

  • Members' bonuses. The Runner.


    They must have had to shoot this scene a zillion times. Courtney Cox does a new topless scene in which her breasts are on screen for many seconds, getting fondled and whatever, and I don't think her nipples are ever visible. How did they do that? Here's the closest I could see from Ms Cox. She's a fine comic actress, as you know, who is trying to stretch into deeper roles. Cripe, there's about four women in the world who are funny, and about two who are both funny and beautiful, and we're about to lose half of them so we can have another average actress? Geez, Courteney, you already do the hardest thing in acting, and we hate to lose you. As the great actor Edmund Kean was supposed to have said on his deathbed, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard"

    As for the movie. I'm not a religious man, but I prayed for it to end.

    Members' bonuses

    The babe from the past is Vanya, 3rd of October, 1977.

    Bouns, some 800x600 Page Three Wallpapers (#1 #2 #3 #4)

    + Ever wonder what Playboy and Page Three models do when not modeling for Playboy or the British tabs? Fred does. Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue, "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from these ostensibly wholesome girls. His comments:

    Playboy would have you believe that this lady is Helen Cooper in its "Sexy Girls Next Door" issue, April 1998. Well maybe, if you live next door to the O'Farrell Theater in San Francisco. Most folks know this lovely lady as Tanya Danielle, stripper supreme and favorite model of Photographer Ken Marcus. In fact, when Ken Marcus did his landscape photography for Yosemite National Park, he parked a nude Miss Danielle in the middle of every scene. The fact that Ken Marcus did her "Amateur" photos for Playboy should have given someone a clue. Frodo

    (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7)

    Maelstrom Maelstrom's Eye has only one today. You'll forgive him, since he did 21 yesterday. As for me, I like this one better than all 21 from yesterday put together. It's Laetitia Casta, and she's topless facing the camera, no tricks, photo by Demarcheller, scan by Maelstrom. Any questions? Why aren't you looking at it yet? Slarti The master of German TV continues to keep us informed. I sure wish US TV was like this.
  • Stephenie Stappenbeck in "Bleib bei mir"
  • Clelia Sarto in "A Christmas Tale". Why is it that our Christmas specials never have tits in the USA? OK, Frosty and the Grinch are naked from the waist up, but they don't have boobs.
  • Claudia Mehnert in "Der Voyeur"
  • Perkeo More naked Helen Mirren from "The Cook, The Thief ..." (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10)
    Wicked Marmoset Two new non-nude scans of Estella Warren from the new Yahoo (#1, #2) Anarch Lots of storyboards. Logan's Run. Jenny Agutter (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9/a>, #10)

    Members' bonuses. Stone Cold.

    Yo, the debutantes are back, from the new issue of "Femme Fatales". I think that means "Dead Women", but most of them look alive, except Famke Janssen.

    We ready for Christmas in the 'hood. The thirty five dollar Juicy Fruit man always sell some of them cheap little Christmas lights, you know, the real small pointy ones that come about three thousand on a string. And on this special time of year, we steal some of those packages of lights without hurting the Juicy Fruit man. Normally, we kick the shit out of him and take all the money in the register, but it's Christmas so we just steal the lights. We don't need his money this time of year, cuz we can just take all we want from the money pot by those Santa mofos.

    So we make the 'hood look extra festive. 'bout four in the morning there's always plenty of winos and crackheads sleeping on the doorsteps, so we like to wrap 'em all up in Christmas lights and decorate 'em to make the season special. Then they really are "people of color". We gotta hope them mofos don't piss theyselves, cuz that really do a number on the mofo'n lights. I like a lot of different colors, but my man Ice like to sort out the lights by color and decorate a sleepin' coke ho all in red, or a junkie all in blue, as a special personal thing. If we find an OD that left us, then Ice use all them somber dark purple lights. We even decorate Rasta Dentist's doorway all in gold, to match his teeth. Makes the whole street look like one festive-ass Las Vegas, except without the Bermuda shorts. Then I go down an' buy somethin' for my "ex", cuz I putting the "ex" back in "Xmas".

    I read that some Church havin' a contest to design a new Christ for the new milennium, just like that Buddy Jesus in "Dogma". The winner so far is kinda non-white, in a white sorta way. I guess it off-white. That some progress. Usually in the movies and paintings, Jesus has blue eyes and red-blond hair, and played by some Swedish mofo. I know them Vikings did some long-ass sailing trips, but I don't think they made it to Jerusalem. Anyway, everybody who know the world know Jesus must be some kinda Latino. Just look at his first name. You ever see a Swedish mofo named Jesus? You ever see a bro named Jesus? She-it, no. Jesus got to be from San Juan or Venezuela or someplace like that. Merry Christmas, crackas.

    Kelly Van Halen shows some sugar. Used to be married to some famous drummer. Got some big guns. Tia Carrere in "Kull the Sorbo" Victoria Vega and Darian Crane swap spit. Nikki Fritz, Big Julie and Little Julie in "The Bare Wench Project". My favorite porn film title this year: "The Bel-Air Bitch Project" Drew Griffin. Naked. Can't see shit. Drew Griffin. Naked. This time can see some of that cotton candy down below. Famke in "House on Haunted Hill". Didn't she used to be cut? Look at her underarms. Famke. Amber Newman and Stella Porter in "Dungeon of Desire". Mus' be a fine, fine date movie. Sita Thompson. Just a bit of sugar. Sita Thompson. Right flopper armed and ready.

    Members' bonuses

    New releases, but (sorry) no nudity.
  • Patten captures of Laetitia Casta in "Asterix". Casta is not nude, but shows lots of cleavage. She was paired with the only person in France with larger natural hooters: Gerard Depardieu.
  • Patten captures of Laetitia Casta in "Asterix"
  • Akira captures of Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams in "Dick"
  • Akira captures of Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams in "Dick"
  • Akira captures of Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams in "Dick"
  • Akira captures of Kirsten Dunst in "Dick"
  • Click Here!