"Lust for Dracula"

Lust for Dracula (2004) is a Seduction Cinema direct to vid staring their number one asset, Misty Mundae. It is not quite business as usual, however, as this could well be described as an Art House Lesbian soft core Dracula film. I was pretty much at a loss after watching it what the director was getting at. Listening to the feature length commentary helped there. There are one or more naked women on screen most of the time. Tonight, I have covered just one sex scene between Misty Mundae, and Darian Caine, who played Dracula. It was long, it was reasonably explicit, and it was beautifully filmed. Both women show everything.

As there will be at least one more night of images, I will save the plot description for then, but I will say that the intent was to present a new view of Dracula. While I found it VERY hard to make sense of the plot, the photography was impressive enough that it held my interest. Tomorrow night, lots more naked women, and the basic plot.

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  • Misty Mundae and Darian Caine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Blessed (2004)

    A blatant rip-off of Rosemary's Baby. The DVD box even has the familiar cradle. You need to read this one at the Movie House, because the pictures are the best part of it. It's a fairly funny review. You know how much I enjoy Satan movies!

    Sorry, no nudity. Only a near-miss from the ever adorable Rollergirl.



    1 Night in China (2004)

    China, of course, is Chyna - wrestler Joanie Laurer. These are zipped, soundless .wmv files




    Found elsewhere on the web: Soap Opera actress Heather Tom (many years on The Y & The R, six Emmy nominations, two wins) on stage stark nekkid in "Prymate", which ran only a few days in May.

    We never did see any pics of Kidman in The Blue Room or Michelle Williams in Killer Joe

    • Heather Tom (1, 2)


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS


    Love is Colder than Death (1969)

    These four clips come from "Liebe ist kälter als der Tod" (1969; aka. Love is colder than Death) and feature Hanna Schygulla in a triple B performance. I don't know what this Rainer Werner Fassbinder movie is about, though. I found it too boring to follow, and these scenes are the only ones that I kept. Please take note of the impressive stereo installation in clip # 4, at least by 1969 standards.  

    Hanna was 26 when this was made and she starred in many Fassbinder films until his premature death in 1982. She has her own volume in the Encyclopedia with quality caps from this film as well. In case anyone is interested in watching this movie, amazingly enough it is available as a region 1 DVD only, there isn't even a region 2 German edition !

    Scoop's note. I guess love could be colder than death. For James Brolin, for example.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    How can I piss and moan about a movie that has seven nekkid gals in it? Under normal circumstances, that fact alone would make Passion's Obsession (2002) a guaranteed Brainscan pleaser. No plot required, no acting necessary, just line em up and show em off.

    But these are not normal circumstances, for you see Passion's Obsession is obnoxious and the actors are so very bland. I can take no plot, but when the thing is stupid enough to drain IQ points from my head, well that's just gone too far. And bad acting? Hey, I liked Space Thing, so I don't need to present my bona fides on that one. Yet bad is one thing and warm oatmeal on the back of my neck is another. Just call these folks one the Quaker Oats cast.

    One other major fault... well, two really... and then let's move on. This was C. C. Costigan's last movie, at least according to IMDb. Thank heavens. Something possessed C. C. to pay a brick-layer to do her augmentation mammoplasty and the result is predictable. Robo-hooters so hard-looking, so misshapen, you just want to take her by the hand and lead her to the nearest malpractice attorney.

    So the real reason I capped this thing was that four of the gals, including the recreationally built Shyra Deland, play strippers (Susan Hale, Joanne Choo and former Pet, Samantha Phillips are the other three...Sam is a close call, but she gets nekkid on the stage of a strip club and that is good enough for me). So what, you ask?

    Well, a few weeks ago The Gimp was going on about his nekkid actress database (over 17,000 performances and, as we who read the Funhouse know very well, that number grows daily). He mentioned that he keeps track of things like what the gals were doing when they lost their clothing... sport-humping, taking a shower, changing into something more comfortable, all that stuff.

    So I asked him about strippers, because it seems to me that strippers are represented in the movies all out of proportion to the number of folk employed to strip in the real world. He told me that the numbers are not definitive, in that he needs to go back and do some checking, but that he has listed 690 separate performances by 417 women as strippers.

    Oh you've got your famous ones. Elizabeth Berkley, Shannon Elizabeth, Elizabeth Hurley and lots of other semi-A listers not named Elizabeth, like Goldie Hawn and Daryl Hannah, Meg Tilly. Lucy Liu and Mary Steenburgen. And then you have the serious repeaters: Maria Ford and Niikki Fritz lead that lineup. But most of the gals are one-timers who've done a few more movies as something else, like a hooker. Four hundred and seventeen of them. And that's the minimum: The Gimp figures he has a bunch more just waiting to be listed.

    Now maybe it is just me, but I had no idea of the number. At least 690 credited performances (The Gimpster tells me there are more than 100 uncredited performances). I'm figuring only cops, private detectives, crooks, soldiers and doctors show up more often as characters in the movies. And most of them are men. Among women characters? Shoot, stripping may be the runaway most common profession.

    Anyway, I figured you guys would want to know all this, mainly because I was so amused. It's now my new goal in life: to make sure that every performance by a movie stripper winds up on the virutal pages of the Funnhouse. Now, that's something to live for!

    • C.C. Costigan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    • Joanne Choo (1, 2)

    • Regina Russell (1, 2)

    • Samantha Phillips (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Shyra Deland (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Susan Hale (1, 2, 3)

    • Tawny Garrison (1, 2)

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost, part 2 of his look at the sequel that begged to be made..."Hollywood Dreams Take 2" (1995). There really aren't any "big names" in this flick, but there is still plenty of nudity from grade-z skin-flick gals.

    • Leigh Betchley, showing off her robo-boobs as she gets dressed. According to the IMDb she is also an amateur wrestler who has appeared in a few direct-to-vid rasslin' tapes. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Leigh Betchley zipped .wmv

    • Mary Scott bares breasts and bum in some slow moving love scenes from her one and only movie. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Mary Scott zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Unknown #1 aka the brunette that has sex outside. (1, 2)
    • Unknown #1 zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    • Unknown #2 aka the blonde that has sex outside. (1, 2)
    • Unknown #2 zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    Blanchard Ryan Coming to DVD December 28! here are C2000 'caps of Ryan topless and showing just a bit of pubes in scenes from this summer's surprise indie hit, "Open Water".

    Griffin Drew
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Susan Hale
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Kris Andre
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    All 3 Skinemax babes are topless in several scenes from "The Mistress Club" (1999). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    I Only Get A Week?! - Blockbuster Video announced that starting January 1, they will no longer charge late fees. Customers have long complained about their confusing policy, with videos coming due at different times on different days, which cost renters up to $300 million a year in late fees. After January, customers will get a one-week grace period. If they still forget to return it after a week, they'll automatically be charged the retail price minus the rental fee and it's theirs to keep.

  • In other words, they're getting out of rentals and going into sales.
  • They plan to discourage people from keeping the films longer by stocking only Ben Affleck movies.
  • Under their old policy, by the time you got halfway through watching "Lord of the Rings," you owed a late fee.

    Her Face Fell - Sharon Stone is suing Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Renato Calabria for defamation for allegedly claiming he gave her a facelift. Calabria's lawyer says articles about him that say he worked on Stone did not get the info from him, and Calabria has the right to post the articles on his website without correcting them. Stone's lawsuit states that she's never had a facelift and "prides herself not only on her acting ability and other talents, but also on her natural physical appearance."

  • As well as her famous and widely-admired modesty!
  • She's such a good actress, she's totally convincing when she says she's never had a facelift.
  • This could just be a face-saving move.
  • Sharon Stone doesn't have to worry about her face...Nobody looks at her FACE!

    Busloads Of Gall - Former charity fundraiser Aaron Tonken has a new book, "King of Cons," that exposes the greediest celebrities. Civil rights icon Rosa Parks demanded cash and a private Gulfstream IV jet to attend a Bill Clinton-hosted gala, prompting a Hillary staffer to joke that she'd "come a long way from the back of the bus."

  • She even refused to sit in the back of the Gulfstream and rode in the pilot's lap.

    Unforgettable - Tonken calls Joan Collins the "greediest, most irresponsible person in Hollywood," followed by Natalie Cole, who demanded $75,000 in cash to sing one song. He says Roseanne Barr, whom he once managed, stiffed him for over $250,000 and is "a pig with rabies." Susanne Somers threatened to trash Tonken in a full-page Hollywood Reporter ad if he didn't give her free jewelry and airline tickets. And Liza Minnelli nearly ruined a "Recording Artists Against Drunk Driving" event by showing up drunk.

  • Thank God she demanded that chauffeured limo with a wet bar.
  • Worse, it was hosted by Ted Kennedy.
  • When celebrities sing "We Are The World," they really mean "WE are the world!"
  • After expenses, he raised a career total of about $4 for charity.

    Is He Physically Capable Of Running? - The Wonkette website reports that uber-liberal Rob Reiner has decided not to run for governor of California until at least 2010. He's decided Arnold Schwarzenegger is "too personally popular" for him to beat.

  • Even a Meathead could figure that out.
  • Besides, by 2010, Arnold will be president.
  • This gives Reiner four years to raise enough funds to cover his campaign's catering bill.