"Lust for Dracula"
Lust for Dracula (2004) is a Seduction Cinema direct to vid staring their number one asset, Misty Mundae. It is not quite business as usual, however, as this could well be described as an Art House Lesbian soft core Dracula film. I was pretty much at a loss after watching it what the director was getting at. Listening to the feature length commentary helped there. There are one or more naked women on screen most of the time. Tonight, I have covered just one sex scene between Misty Mundae, and Darian Caine, who played Dracula. It was long, it was reasonably explicit, and it was beautifully filmed. Both women show everything.
As there will be at least one more night of images, I will save the plot description for then, but I will say that the intent was to present a new view of Dracula. While I found it VERY hard to make sense of the plot, the photography was impressive enough that it held my interest. Tomorrow night, lots more naked women, and the basic plot.
Misty Mundae and Darian Caine
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
A blatant rip-off of Rosemary's Baby. The DVD box
even has the familiar cradle. You need to read
this one at the Movie House, because the pictures are
the best part of it. It's a fairly funny review. You know how much I
enjoy Satan movies!
Sorry, no nudity. Only a near-miss from the ever adorable Rollergirl.
1 Night in China (2004)
China, of course, is Chyna - wrestler Joanie Laurer.
These are zipped, soundless .wmv files
Found elsewhere on the web: Soap Opera actress Heather Tom (many
years on The Y & The R, six Emmy nominations, two wins) on stage
stark nekkid in "Prymate", which ran only a few days in May.
We never did see any pics of Kidman in The Blue Room or Michelle
Williams in Killer Joe
The trailer for a documentary called Watermarks:
"Watermarks is the story of the champion women swimmers of the
legendary Jewish sports club, Hakoah Vienna. Hakoah ('The
Strength' in Hebrew) was founded in 1909 in response to the
notorious Aryan Paragraph, which forbade Austrian sports clubs
from accepting Jewish athletes. Its founders were eager to
popularize sport among a community renowned for such great minds
as Freud, Mahler and Zweig, but traditionally alien to physical
recreation. Hakoah rapidly grew into one of Europe's biggest
athletic clubs, while achieving astonishing success in many
diverse sports. In the 1930s Hakoah's best-known triumphs came
from its women swimmers, who dominated national competitions in
Austria. After the Anschluss, the political unification of Nazi
Germany and Austria in 1938, the Nazis shut down the club, but the
swimmers managed to flee the country before the war broke out,
thanks to an escape operation organized by Hakoah's functionaries.
Sixty-five years later, director Yaron Zilberman meets the members
of the women's swim team in their homes around the world, and
arranges for them to have a reunion in their old swimming pool in
Vienna, a journey that evokes memories of youth, femininity, and
strengthens lifelong bonds. Told by the swimmers, now in their
eighties, Watermarks is about a group of young girls with a
passion to be the best. It is the saga of seven outstanding
athletes who still swim daily as they age with grace. Watermarks
visits Trude (Platcek) Hirschler, the Israeli co-chairperson of
Hakoah veterans' organization; Elisheva (Schmidt) Susz, a renowned
child psychotherapist from Tel-Aviv; Hanni (Deutsch) Lux who tells
the story of her sister, Judith (Deutsch) Haspel, Austria's
greatest swimmer who paid dearly for her refusal to compete in the
1936 Olympics in Nazi Berlin"
The trailers for Howl's Moving Castle. : Disney meets
Japanime. "In the land of Ingary, such things as spells, invisible
cloaks, and seven-league boots were everyday things. The Witch of
the Waste was another matter. After fifty years of quiet, it was
rumored that the Witch was about to terrorize the country again.
So when a moving black castle, blowing dark smoke from its four
thin turrets, appeared on the horizon, everyone thought it was the
Witch. The castle, however, belonged to Wizard Howl, who, it was
said, liked to suck the souls of young girls. The Hatter
sisters--Sophie, Lettie, and Martha--and all the other girls were
warned not to venture into the streets alone. But that was only
the beginning. In this giant jigsaw puzzle of a fantasy, people
and things are never quite what they seem. Destinies are
intertwined, identities exchanged, lovers confused. The Witch has
placed a spell on Howl. Does the clue to breaking it lie in a
famous poem? And what will happen to Sophie Hatter when she enters
Howl's castle? Diana Wynne Jones's entrancing fantasy is filled
with surprises at every turn, but when the final stormy duel
between the Witch and the Wizard is finished, all the pieces fall
magically into place."
HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS ASSOCIATION TO CHOOSE NEW IRAQI PRESIDENT.
Awards Ceremony to Replace January Elections
Major League Baseball tells D.C. to suck it.
The American Family Association asks you to write Michael Powell
and get him to fine ABC over Saving Private Ryan
Read the Literary Review Bad Sex award-winning and longlisted
Dutch consider infant euthanasia for children born with extreme
malformations like not having a brain. Republicans are
opposed to this for two reasons (1) it's against their religious
beliefs (2) these babies were to be their future leaders. In fact,
President Bush already has one of them on the short list for the
Supreme Court nomination.
Jessica Simpson. Lotsa cleavage.
Clive Barker's Pinhead (from Hellraiser) may be coming to the boob
tube Should be a helluva funny sitcom. Tim Allen IS
Here is the trailer for Creep. Run Lola Run again -
this time away from some creepy dude under the streets of London.
E-mail 'worm' spreads holiday jeers
Sidney Lumet to receive an honorary Academy Award
A preview of New Line's 2005 line-up.
Star picks the most annoying people of 2004. It was a
tie for first. Can you guess the co-winners?
Mayor says the Expos move to Washington is nearly dead.
The Straight Dope: Did Dracula really exist?
Pop Candy's top 100 people of 2004.
The craziest promotional items released during the past year.
- Upcoming films: absolute raves for
Million Dollar Baby - 98% positive reviews. (Best % of
the year so far.)
- "the best movie released by a major Hollywood studio this
year." (NY Times)
- "brilliant masterpiece." (Coming Soon)
- " "The film works on every level -- acting, direction and
- "Perhaps the director's most touching, most elegiac work
yet, Million Dollar Baby is a film that does both the expected
and the unexpected, that has the nerve and the will to be as
pitiless as it is sentimental." (L.A. Times)
- "Masterpiece ... The kind of movie where you sit very
quietly in the theater and are drawn deeply into lives that you
care very much about." (Roger Ebert)
- Seldom seen and laughably bad, it's
The Star Wars Holiday Special. Watch it, and you'll see
why Lucas keeps it a secret. "It is Lifeday, a holiday that is
celebrated on Chewbacca's home planet Kashyyyk. Chewie and Han
Solo are trying to get to the planet where Chewie's family is
waiting for him, but the empire is out searching for the rebels,
giving everyone a hard time. While we are waiting we get a look at
the everyday life of a wookie family."
The comedy Bronze God will star Will Ferrell as a lifeguard who
realizes his dream by securing a wildcard entry into a beach
Sean Bean will join Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson in the
cast of 'The Island' for director Michael Bay.
Eight new clips from Meet the Fockers. The current
internet rumor is that Teri Polo will be featured in the celebrity
pictorial in the February Playboy.
About a gazillion new clips and featurettes from Lemony Snicket's
A Series of Unfortunate Events
The trailer for Kicking & Screaming, Will Ferrell's new
comedy about junior soccer.
Four clips from The Aviator
Seven clips from Fat Albert
- For the capital letter lover in you:
Bernard Kerik's Actual Letter to President Bush Formally
Withdrawing From Answering Any Questions From Lousy Goody Two
Shoes Sticking Their Fat Noses Where They Ain't Got No Business.
The Big Ass Titties rap.
Hollywood legend Marlon Brando will reprise his Oscar-winning role
as Don Vito Corleone in The Godfather video game. Death
doesn't seem to have slowed him down that much.
Pamela Anderson has revealed she once walked in on an orgy at the
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry profiles a man who was grossly misled
The Daily Show: "History has shown our venture in Iraq to be
riddled with mistakes. So... medals for everyone!"
Fantastic! Soap opera babe Heather Tom nude on the New York Stage
in Prymate. Heather was on The Young and The Restless
for many, many years, then switched over to One Life to Live. She
has been nominated for 4,312 Emmys (OK, really "only" six), and
has won two. She is seen here with the veteran actor James
- For those of you who are both horny and environmentally
conscious, there are the
Alternative Power Vibrators
Roger Ebert called Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby the best
film of the year.. It "is a masterpiece, pure and
simple, deep and true. It tells the story of an aging fight
trainer and a hillbilly girl who thinks she can be a boxer. It is
narrated by a former boxer who is the trainer's best friend. But
it's not a boxing movie. It is a movie about a boxer. What else it
is, all it is, how deep it goes, what emotional power it contains,
I cannot suggest in this review, because I will not spoil the
experience of following this story into the deepest secrets of
life and death. This is the best film of the year."
- Frank the Tank! Frank the Tank! Oops ...
Drinking game puts Perth man near death
Here's a classic Japanese event: 1000 Photographers and 20 Models
REGIS PHILBIN IS HOMELESS! Sources "close" to Regis
Philbin say his record-breaking television appearances are due to
the fact that he has no place to go, and hasn't left the studio
lots in over 40 years.
Naked Norwegians protest fur, and Pam Anderson leads
the anti-fur battle with a new semi-nekkid Asian poster.
Another woman I would like to meet.
A Prince Edward Island couple has won approval to open a nudist
campground at the province's only naturalist resort.
- If you're willing to go naked on Price Edward Island, my hat
is off to you. But only my hat. If you wanna see the rest, I'll
meet you in St. Thomas.
- "Local residents ... said that it would tarnish the region's
allure as a family tourism destination." ... "Mommy, mommy, we
don't wanna go to Orlando any more. We wanna go to Prince Edward
Island. They have ... small craft shops ... and potatoes."
Prince Edward Island Tourism and Travel Guide.
- If you're really serious about Christmas, give the one gift
that truly means love, the greatest Christmas album of all time.
You know I mean
Hung for the Holidays.
- Did you know William Hung was born on the exact moment that
Elvis died? It kind of makes you think, doesnt it? Oh, sure,
maybe I'm not so "well read" as some you you so-called
"literate" people, but I know about these spiritual matters from
watching movies. I mean, I saw The Lion King, so I know all
about the great circle of life, and how all things are reborn. I
think there was a song about it in the remake of Lost Horizon as
well. And they might have mentioned it in Black Spring Break.
- If you follow the link to the purchase page, there is a free
15 second clip from every single cut on the album. This guy is
awesome! You HAVE to listen to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
The arrangement is just as good as his singing (if that's
possible)! And "The Little Drummer Boy" will bring a tear to
- Note to the terminally dense: Don't look it up. I was
kidding about the Elvis date.
The new world's most popular searches for each letter of the
alphabet, according to Google. My favorite is "T". Most
of the others are sensible: Amazon, Best Buy, CNN, dictionary ....
then we find out that T is Tara Reid! (P is Paris Hilton, but I
suppose that was predictable). You can try out the application
this info was designed for, Google Suggest, by clicking
Playmate Gallery - Tina Marie Jordan, March 2002 - Courtesy of
Four short sample vids from SPICE TV RAW!
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words, pictures, and vids from
Love is Colder than Death (1969)
These four clips come from "Liebe ist
kälter als der Tod" (1969; aka. Love is colder than Death) and
feature Hanna Schygulla in a triple B performance. I don't know
what this Rainer Werner Fassbinder movie is about, though. I found
it too boring to follow, and these scenes are the only ones that I
kept. Please take note of the impressive stereo installation in
clip # 4, at least by 1969 standards.
Hanna was 26 when this was made and
she starred in many Fassbinder films until his premature death in
1982. She has her own volume in the Encyclopedia with quality caps
from this film as well. In case anyone is interested in watching
this movie, amazingly enough it is available as a region 1 DVD
only, there isn't even a region 2 German edition !
Scoop's note. I guess love could be colder than death. For
James Brolin, for example.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
How can I piss and moan about a movie that has seven
nekkid gals in it? Under normal circumstances, that
fact alone would make Passion's Obsession (2002) a
guaranteed Brainscan pleaser. No plot required, no
acting necessary, just line em up and show em off.
But these are not normal circumstances, for you see
Passion's Obsession is obnoxious and the actors are so
very bland. I can take no plot, but when the thing is
stupid enough to drain IQ points from my head, well
that's just gone too far. And bad acting? Hey, I
liked Space Thing, so I don't need to present my bona
fides on that one. Yet bad is one thing and warm
oatmeal on the back of my neck is another. Just call
these folks one the Quaker Oats cast.
One other major fault... well, two really... and then
let's move on. This was C. C. Costigan's last movie,
at least according to IMDb. Thank heavens. Something
possessed C. C. to pay a brick-layer to do her
augmentation mammoplasty and the result is
predictable. Robo-hooters so hard-looking, so
misshapen, you just want to take her by the hand and
lead her to the nearest malpractice attorney.
So the real reason I capped this thing was that four
of the gals, including the recreationally built Shyra
Deland, play strippers (Susan Hale, Joanne Choo and
former Pet, Samantha Phillips are the other
three...Sam is a close call, but she gets nekkid on
the stage of a strip club and that is good enough for
me). So what, you ask?
Well, a few weeks ago The Gimp was going on about his
nekkid actress database (over 17,000 performances and,
as we who read the Funhouse know very well, that
number grows daily). He mentioned that he keeps track
of things like what the gals were doing when they lost
their clothing... sport-humping, taking a shower,
changing into something more comfortable, all that
So I asked him about strippers, because it seems to me
that strippers are represented in the movies all out
of proportion to the number of folk employed to strip
in the real world. He told me that the numbers are
not definitive, in that he needs to go back and do
some checking, but that he has listed 690 separate
performances by 417 women as strippers.
Oh you've got your famous ones. Elizabeth Berkley,
Shannon Elizabeth, Elizabeth Hurley and lots of other
semi-A listers not named Elizabeth, like Goldie Hawn
and Daryl Hannah, Meg Tilly. Lucy Liu and Mary
Steenburgen. And then you have the serious repeaters:
Maria Ford and Niikki Fritz lead that lineup. But
most of the gals are one-timers who've done a few more
movies as something else, like a hooker. Four hundred
and seventeen of them. And that's the minimum: The
Gimp figures he has a bunch more just waiting to be
Now maybe it is just me, but I had no idea of the
number. At least 690 credited performances (The
Gimpster tells me there are more than 100 uncredited
performances). I'm figuring only cops, private
detectives, crooks, soldiers and doctors show up more
often as characters in the movies. And most of them
are men. Among women characters? Shoot, stripping
may be the runaway most common profession.
Anyway, I figured you guys would want to know all
this, mainly because I was so amused. It's now my new
goal in life: to make sure that every performance by a
movie stripper winds up on the virutal pages of the
Funnhouse. Now, that's something to live for!
- C.C. Costigan
- Joanne Choo
- Regina Russell
- Samantha Phillips
- Shyra Deland
- Susan Hale
- Tawny Garrison
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today from the Ghost, part 2 of his look at the sequel that begged to be made..."Hollywood Dreams Take 2" (1995). There really aren't any "big names" in this flick, but there is still plenty of nudity from grade-z skin-flick gals.
- Leigh Betchley, showing off her robo-boobs as she gets dressed. According to the IMDb she is also an amateur wrestler who has appeared in a few direct-to-vid rasslin' tapes.
- Leigh Betchley zipped .wmv
- Mary Scott bares breasts and bum in some slow moving love scenes from her one and only movie.
- Mary Scott zipped .wmvs
- Unknown #1 aka the brunette that has sex outside.
- Unknown #1 zipped .wmvs
- Unknown #2 aka the blonde that has sex outside.
- Unknown #2 zipped .wmvs
||Coming to DVD December 28! here are C2000 'caps of Ryan topless and showing just a bit of pubes in scenes from this summer's surprise indie hit, "Open Water".
|All 3 Skinemax babes are topless in several scenes from "The Mistress Club" (1999). 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BLOCKBUSTER TO END LATE FEES
I Only Get A Week?! - Blockbuster Video announced that starting January 1,
they will no longer charge late fees. Customers have long complained about
their confusing policy, with videos coming due at different times on different
days, which cost renters up to $300 million a year in late fees. After January,
customers will get a one-week grace period. If they still forget to return it
after a week, they'll automatically be charged the retail price minus the
rental fee and it's theirs to keep.
In other words, they're getting out of rentals and going into sales.
They plan to discourage people from keeping the films longer by stocking
only Ben Affleck movies.
Under their old policy, by the time you got halfway through watching "Lord
of the Rings," you owed a late fee.
STONE SUES OVER FACELIFT RUMOR
Her Face Fell - Sharon Stone is suing Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr.
Renato Calabria for defamation for allegedly claiming he gave her a facelift.
Calabria's lawyer says articles about him that say he worked on Stone did not get
the info from him, and Calabria has the right to post the articles on his
website without correcting them. Stone's lawsuit states that she's never had a
facelift and "prides herself not only on her acting ability and other talents,
but also on her natural physical appearance."
As well as her famous and widely-admired modesty!
She's such a good actress, she's totally convincing when she says she's
never had a facelift.
This could just be a face-saving move.
Sharon Stone doesn't have to worry about her face...Nobody looks at her
GREEDIEST CELEBRITIES REVEALED (From the New York Post)
Busloads Of Gall - Former charity fundraiser Aaron Tonken has a new book,
"King of Cons," that exposes the greediest celebrities. Civil rights icon Rosa
Parks demanded cash and a private Gulfstream IV jet to attend a Bill
Clinton-hosted gala, prompting a Hillary staffer to joke that she'd "come a long way
from the back of the bus."
She even refused to sit in the back of the Gulfstream and rode in the
Unforgettable - Tonken calls Joan Collins the "greediest, most irresponsible
person in Hollywood," followed by Natalie Cole, who demanded $75,000 in cash
to sing one song. He says Roseanne Barr, whom he once managed, stiffed him for
over $250,000 and is "a pig with rabies." Susanne Somers threatened to trash
Tonken in a full-page Hollywood Reporter ad if he didn't give her free
jewelry and airline tickets. And Liza Minnelli nearly ruined a "Recording Artists
Against Drunk Driving" event by showing up drunk.
Thank God she demanded that chauffeured limo with a wet bar.
Worse, it was hosted by Ted Kennedy.
When celebrities sing "We Are The World," they really mean "WE are the
After expenses, he raised a career total of about $4 for charity.
REINER NOT RUNNING
Is He Physically Capable Of Running? - The Wonkette website reports that
uber-liberal Rob Reiner has decided not to run for governor of California until at
least 2010. He's decided Arnold Schwarzenegger is "too personally popular"
for him to beat.
Even a Meathead could figure that out.
Besides, by 2010, Arnold will be president.
This gives Reiner four years to raise enough funds to cover his campaign's