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BEST NUDE SCENES of 2006:
Balloting is finished
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See the numerical results here.
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See the pictorial
here. NOTE to members: the links to film clips and captures would be a waste
of your time. I assembled them from the back issues, the film clip search tool
and the encyclopedia. In other words, you already have access to all of the
material without waiting for Rapidshare to give you more time. Those links are
essentially for the outside world.
UPDATES:
Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated.
THIRD PARTY VIDEOS:
Here are the film clips from Shortbus. This was directed by
the same guy who did Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It is fundamentally a porn movie
with artistic aspirations, or maybe an art movie with unsimulated sex.
Whichever. Either way it's graphic stuff. Straight sex, solo sex, gay sex,
all of it right there on screen. I haven't seen it, but it has somehow managed
to get a 7.4 at IMDB, so a lot of people like it. It as been playing in 25-70
arthouse theaters since early October, per
Box
Office Mojo
* Here's an orgy. (Zipped
.avi)
* And here's Sook Yin Lee, the woman who finished
in the top ten of the annual "best sex scenes" even though you never heard of
her. After you see these, you'll know why. (Three
.avis zipped together). In the first one, she basically runs through every
sexual position, like a live action version of that scene in Team America, In
the other two she practices various masturbation techniques.
Rachel Bilson did a sex scene in Last Kiss (zipped
.avi), but I can't tell whether she is topless or not. (Which should be a
red flag for you, but you're welcome to study it for yourself.)
OTHER CRAP:
The Other Crap site has simply become too big and detailed to fit into my Fun House column. It contains far too much info, too many graphics, too many news feeds, and too many embedded videos to include here. Plus the scoopy.net version was always a day out of synch.
You fans please catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
MOVIE REVIEWS: Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Bangkok Hilton (1989)
This is an Australian mini-series starring a then relatively unknown Nicole
Kidman. Her performance is nothing short of magic, and this is probably the
most engaging mini-series I have seen, although it starts a little slowly. We
are introduced to Denholm Elliot, who is escaping Thailand on a boat, and he
begins to tell the story. He was a prisoner of the Japanese in WW II, in
the prison that became known as the Bangkok Hilton, the most feared prison in
Thailand. He was ranking officer in the prison, and when he heard about eight
soldiers planning an escape, knowing the Japanese promise to kill two
prisoners for each one who attempts an escape, he reported them to the
Japanese. The Japanese cut off all eight heads the day before Hiroshima.
Elliott, the son of a famous general, was court marshaled and discharged in
disgrace. His father disowned him as a coward, and he started over in
Australia under an assumed name.
It was there, working as an attorney, that he met and seduced Catherine
Faulkner, daughter of a wealthy client. Then his father died, someone
recognized his photo in the paper, he was fired, and the Faulkner family
refused to let him see Catherine again. Unfortunately for Katherine, she was
pregnant with the child who grew up to be Nicole Kidman. Kidman had always
been told that her father was dead, but when her mother died, she discovered
part of the truth and resolved to find her father.
Her first stop was in England, where she contacted her father's brother,
and discovered that her father was back in Thailand. At that point she met a
charming and helpful young man who talked her into stopping in India with him,
then returning to Australia. She insisted that they try Thailand for a day,
and he reluctantly agreed. At the Bangkok airport, as she was leaving the
country, she discovered that the camera and case he gave her as a gift was
full of heroin.
So much for the slow start.
The boyfriend was long gone, and Kidman was arrested and charged with a
capital offense, so she asked her father's attorney to defend her. Her father
insists on helping with the case, but does not reveal himself to be her
father.
I will stop here, and leave the rest of this nail biter for you to
discover.
Nicole was nominated for an AFI Best Actress, and I just have to see the
performance that beat her. She also won the Australian equivalent of an Emmy
for most popular actress. The series could have degenerated into a drawn-out
courtroom drama, but didn't even come close. It chose rather to examine what
it would be like to be young, innocent, and wrongly accused of a capital crime
in the worst prison in Thailand. All major characters were fully developed.
After the exposition setting up her search for her father, Bangkok Hilton will
have you on the edge of your seat.
This is a B.
IMDb readers have this at 7.9.
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When it came to 70's "Sexploitation" films, I think the woman with the most
recognizable chest had to be Uschi Digard, who has more than 100 credits at IMDB
under many different names. Uschi was born in North Dakota in 1948 but moved to
Scandinavia as a child. Returning to the USA in 1966, she was on her way to a
career that lasted through the late 80's.
Speaking of Uschi's chest here is a short clip (zipped
.wmv) of her exposing that monumental work in " A Touch of Sweden" AKA
Pastries" with some sample caps. This little scene actually was an extra
on the Something Weird video disk of the combo "The Godson" and "Below the
Belt".
As an extra here are two preview clips (two
.wmvs zipped together) from "Below the Belt" as we further explore Uschi.
Tomorrow we will have more clips and caps from this little epic.
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Notes and collages
The Celebrity Showers continue
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Teri Garr in One From the Heart |
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... regardless of all of Ms. Garr's roles or appearances
over the years I always flash back to her in Young
Frankenstein:
"roll, roll, roll in the hay..."
-or-
"Great knockers" - "Well thank you doctor..."
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Joan Severance in See No Evil, Hear No Evil |
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It's Italian Week
From "All ladies do it," Tinto Brass' classic sexfest,
Claudia Koll nude
From "Spartacus and the 10 gladiators," a surprisingly watchable 60s
sword+sandal adventure, Helga Line sexy
 
From "Signori e signore buona notte," a pointed Italian socio-political
satire, Lucretia Love undressing
From "Confessioni di un comissario di polizia al procuratore della repubblica,"
a 70s Franco Nero-starring investigative police thriller,
Marilu Tolo nude.
  
If you like these, there are two Rapidshare video
links for them as well: (1
, 2)
Finally, leaving Italy for a moment, "Todo es mentira," a recent Spanish
production about the troubled youth of today
Penelope Cruz sexy
 
Patricia Garcia Menendez dark topless nude
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Dann reports on Dexter:
Another cool series from
Showtime, Dexter is part horror, part crime, and part whodunit.
Dexter is a blood spatter expert (in more ways than one) working for
the police in Miami.
Dexter is also a serial killer, but with deep scruples. Dexter only
kills other serial killers, or other really bad guys. He never targets
"innocents". Now he's trying to help the police find the Ice Truck Killer,
who does his work in a refrigerated truck or ice box, drains the bodies of
blood, and then spreads the bloodless pieces around for the cops to find.
His victims are mainly prostitutes. In this episode, the cops start to
close in based on a tip from a prostitute amputee with a fake hand.
Unfortunately, the bad guy finds out about it, and the prostitute is his
next victim.
This is a really cool series, with excellent character development and
a good story. Episode 11 is the second-to-last episode of the season, so
I'd expect things to come to a head in episode 12. Unfortunately, they
didn't give credit for the actress who played the prostitute, and while
I've seen her before, I don't know her name. Maybe someone else will.
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Pat's comments in yellow...
Golden Globe nominations were announced Thursday by the Hollywood
Foreign Press Association, and they sparked some bafflement. "Apocalypto,"
which is in the dead Mayan tongue, was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film.
Leonardo DiCaprio and director Clint Eastwood were both nominated twice, so
they'll have to compete against themselves. "Dreamgirls" got five nominations,
but the director was snubbed. And the critical and box office flop "Bobby" was
nominated for Best Drama, while "Flags of Our Fathers," which won Clint Eastwood
one of his two directorial nominations, was not. Most puzzling of all, "Gray's
Anatomy" was nominated for Best TV Drama, while "House" was not.
* "Apocalypto" got a big boost from all the Mayan tabloid
reporters.
Yoko Ono's former chauffeur was charged in Manhattan with threatening to kill
her and trying to extort $2 million to keep from circulating embarrassing photos
and audio tapes of her. He claims she made up the charges to keep him from
suing her for sexual harassment, which she
denied.
* Yoko once appeared stark naked on an album cover, and
on the album inside, she SANG. Obviously, no photos or tapes could embarrass
her.
* If she won't pay him $2 million not to release naked photos and audio tapes
of Yoko Ono, I'm willing to take up a collection.
Rosie O'Donnell apologized on "The View" for imitating Chinese by going "Ching-chong,
ching-chong," but Chinese groups said it's not enough
* An hour later, they were hungry for another apology
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