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Humanoids from the Deep
1980, 1920x1080
Lisa
Glaser
Linda
Shayne
Lynn
Theel
Scoop's notes:
I love this movie. It is non-apologetically nonsensical.
Like many Roger Corman movies, it combines horror and
comedy in totally inappropriate ways, so that each works
against the other rather than acting as a complement.
A little sleepy seaside burg is debating whether to add
a new cannery. It doesn't seem like the right time for
an expansion of the plant because the salmon fishing is
dying.
That sounds like a cue for a flashback.
Sinister forces turn out to be responsible for the
disappearance of the salmon from local waters. The
owners of the cannery company had been doing some DNA
experiments on salmon and they accidentally released
genetically altered salmon into the ocean. The altered
salmon were eaten by predator fish, and that diet turned
the predator fish into -
you guessed it -
Humanoids From The Deep. (Add echo chamber in your
mind).
For some reason there are no female humanoids from the
deep, and these aquatic monsters have super-evolved
brains and understand the need to propagate their
species. Serendipitously, they are capable of
impregnating human females. (Hey, that's why they are
called "humanoid." In all fairness, they do appear to be
approximately as human as Vic Morrow.) Unfortunately for
the lonely monsters, human males do not surrender their
mates easily, so the humanoids need to kill human males
in order to mate with human females.
First they come upon a girl and her boyfriend camping on
the beach. He is a ventriloquist. The hftd's maul the
voice-throwing twerp, but the dummy's eyes continue to
follow the action even after the ventriloquist is dead!
This apparently supernatural phenomenon is never
explained. (Hey, it's a Corman movie).The monsters
proceed to rape the girl. Later, another girl's
boyfriend is feeling her up in the water, and the
humanoids watch from an underwater vantage point which
makes them really horny, so they kill yet another twerp,
and rape yet another girl. Later, in the movie's final
scene, we see that very girl giving birth, and ...
well, I think you can probably figure it out.
Meanwhile, the elders of the town meet to plan their
next move. Let's see, they know that the monsters are
dangerous to humanity, and they also know that the
monsters' preferred diet is salmon, so what should do
they do next? What else? They decide to go ahead with
the 93rd annual Salmon Festival! Actually, it wasn't an
easy choice. The resolution to "hold the salmon
festival" won by a 5-4 vote over a competing bill to
"put up a neon sign welcoming salmon-eating monsters."
Oh, we humans are a foolish lot, at least when we take
the form of movie characters.
The movie's climax comes at the Salmon Festival itself,
a carnival where humans and humanoids alike meet to
share a few memories. The humanoids show that, while
they are not smarter than average humans, they are quite
a bit smarter than carny folk, and smell a lot better as
well.
Dental care is about even.
Before tracking down the prized Salmon Queen, the
monsters stop to ride some of the midway rides (I didn't
make that up. Hey, they are genetically advanced). Of
course, while they enjoy the carousel, they take the
extra time and trouble to slaughter the human males on
the ride.
Then one monster stops for some cotton candy, for
beneath his scales he is a man, and not by salmon alone
does man live.
The easily-distracted humanoids then head over to the
midway to play some carny games. One of them gets really
hacked off that he can't knock down the bowling pins and
win an Eeyore to woo the Salmon Queen, especially since
he has seen some other humanoids with Eeyores and even
one with a Tigger! Then he really gets steamed when he
realizes that those other monsters were audience plants
who were allowed to win by the carny barkers in order to
sucker in more players. Of course, when Mr. Humanoid
discovers this, he rips the carny geek limb from limb
and resumes chasing the Salmon Queen, intending to take
her by force if he cannot woo her with presents. At one
point a humanoid rips off the bra of the Salmon Queen
while chasing her through the midway.
But, by jingo, we humans are not defenseless, you know.
Our salmon queens can take care of themselves, thank you
very much. This gal squares off and dukes it out with
the big guy.
The human spirit endures.
So if you evil super-intelligent movie humanoids are out
there reading this review, listen up, buccos. You'll
never take us. If you think you can just come here and
rape our women, Mr. Johnny Monster, you've got another
think coming. We've got mighty tough Salmon Queens and
Bruce Willis, and no movie monster or asteroid is any
match for our spunky little race.
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