The Royals

s3e1, 1080hd

Elizabeth Hurley didn't get naked, but she got sexy, so that won't hurt the ratings.

s7e11, 1080hd

Shanola Hampton again showed off her killer chest.

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Humanoids from the Deep

1980, 1920x1080

Lisa Glaser

Linda Shayne

Lynn Theel

Scoop's notes:

I love this movie. It is non-apologetically nonsensical. Like many Roger Corman movies, it combines horror and comedy in totally inappropriate ways, so that each works against the other rather than acting as a complement.

A little sleepy seaside burg is debating whether to add a new cannery. It doesn't seem like the right time for an expansion of the plant because the salmon fishing is dying.

That sounds like a cue for a flashback.

Sinister forces turn out to be responsible for the disappearance of the salmon from local waters. The owners of the cannery company had been doing some DNA experiments on salmon and they accidentally released genetically altered salmon into the ocean. The altered salmon were eaten by predator fish, and that diet turned the predator fish into -

you guessed it -

Humanoids From The Deep. (Add echo chamber in your mind).

For some reason there are no female humanoids from the deep, and these aquatic monsters have super-evolved brains and understand the need to propagate their species. Serendipitously, they are capable of impregnating human females. (Hey, that's why they are called "humanoid." In all fairness, they do appear to be approximately as human as Vic Morrow.) Unfortunately for the lonely monsters, human males do not surrender their mates easily, so the humanoids need to kill human males in order to mate with human females.

First they come upon a girl and her boyfriend camping on the beach. He is a ventriloquist. The hftd's maul the voice-throwing twerp, but the dummy's eyes continue to follow the action even after the ventriloquist is dead! This apparently supernatural phenomenon is never explained. (Hey, it's a Corman movie).The monsters proceed to rape the girl. Later, another girl's boyfriend is feeling her up in the water, and the humanoids watch from an underwater vantage point which makes them really horny, so they kill yet another twerp, and rape yet another girl. Later, in the movie's final scene, we see that very girl giving birth, and ...  well, I think you can probably figure it out.

Meanwhile, the elders of the town meet to plan their next move. Let's see, they know that the monsters are dangerous to humanity, and they also know that the monsters' preferred diet is salmon, so what should do they do next? What else? They decide to go ahead with the 93rd annual Salmon Festival! Actually, it wasn't an easy choice. The resolution to "hold the salmon festival" won by a 5-4 vote over a competing bill to "put up a neon sign welcoming salmon-eating monsters."

Oh, we humans are a foolish lot, at least when we take the form of movie characters.

The movie's climax comes at the Salmon Festival itself, a carnival where humans and humanoids alike meet to share a few memories. The humanoids show that, while they are not smarter than average humans, they are quite a bit smarter than carny folk, and smell a lot better as well.

Dental care is about even.

Before tracking down the prized Salmon Queen, the monsters stop to ride some of the midway rides (I didn't make that up. Hey, they are genetically advanced). Of course, while they enjoy the carousel, they take the extra time and trouble to slaughter the human males on the ride.

Then one monster stops for some cotton candy, for beneath his scales he is a man, and not by salmon alone does man live.

The easily-distracted humanoids then head over to the midway to play some carny games. One of them gets really hacked off that he can't knock down the bowling pins and win an Eeyore to woo the Salmon Queen, especially since he has seen some other humanoids with Eeyores and even one with a Tigger! Then he really gets steamed when he realizes that those other monsters were audience plants who were allowed to win by the carny barkers in order to sucker in more players. Of course, when Mr. Humanoid discovers this, he rips the carny geek limb from limb and resumes chasing the Salmon Queen, intending to take her by force if he cannot woo her with presents. At one point a humanoid rips off the bra of the Salmon Queen while chasing her through the midway.

But, by jingo, we humans are not defenseless, you know. Our salmon queens can take care of themselves, thank you very much. This gal squares off and dukes it out with the big guy.

The human spirit endures.

So if you evil super-intelligent movie humanoids are out there reading this review, listen up, buccos. You'll never take us. If you think you can just come here and rape our women, Mr. Johnny Monster, you've got another think coming. We've got mighty tough Salmon Queens and Bruce Willis, and no movie monster or asteroid is any match for our spunky little race.

The Bikini Carwash Academy

With a name like The Bikini Carwash Academy aka The Bikini Escort Company (2006) you know that there is going to be plenty of nudity. It is a softcore movie with the following women:

Anastasia Pierce

Beverly Lynne

Cailey Taylor

Michelle Bauer (She, amazingly, actually keeps her clothes almost on and just gets down to her underwear.)

Stacy Burke

Uncle Nick


Uncle Nick is a Christmas comedy where Nick (Brian Posehn) goes to his despised younger brother Cody's (Beau Ballinger) place for Christmas, who has shacked up with the rich older Sophie (Paget Brewster). Told in running with a retelling of a 1974 Cleveland Indians baseball match that devolved into chaos when the bar was selling 10 cent beers, the night goes pretty much the same disastrous way. Nick's plans for the evening is to get suitably wasted, but not before scoring with Sophie's daughter Valerie (Melia Renee) with whom he's formed a connection via Facebook. Also at the party are Sophie's gamer son Marcus (Jacob Houston) and Nick and Cody's sister Michelle (Missi Pyle) and her baseball podcasting husband Kevin (Scott Adsit). Things are looking good Nick with Valerie seeming very much up for it as she drinks more and more, but Nick has a lingering thoughts of his dead girlfriend Emily. Slowly, the evening gets worse for Nick to the point where he even rejects Valerie's advances. But, he might be able to salvage the evening in a most unlikely way.

Not a bad little Christmas gone to hell comedy with a few laughs and the device of telling it to the baseball game corresponds really well. Worth a look if you're into a dark Christmas comedy playing a similar tune to Bad Santa plus hottie Melia Renee makes some serious good eye candy.

Melia Renee 1080hd film clip (collage below)

Jenniffer Marie in the future cinema classic Krampus: The Devil Returns (2016) in 1080hd

Another chapter in Caitlin Stasey's battle to show her breasts on social media

Morgan Saylor in White Girl (2016)

Kylie Minogue wardrobe malfunction. (A really embarrassing one.)
Based on the accompanying text, this must have happened four years ago.