"Legally Exposed"

Legally Exposed (1997) is another in the click series. I was unable to locate it, but did come across sketchy information that it is one of seven episodes in a mini-series. I have no idea where in the sequence of seven this one fits. It starts with Dr. Fez in an Egyptian tomb recovering the click device from where it had been hidden. He clicks a mummy (Thao Nguyen), and she attacks the rest of his party. He makes the mistake of using it on a hotel maid, Kira Reed, gets much more than he bargained for, and has the click stolen again. He narrates its travels from a French heiress living in Greece, Sita Thompson, who uses it to spice up her sex life, then on to Russian Countess Gina Garcia, who uses it to seduce other women, in this case Bo Zena. All of these women show breasts and buns, and Zena also shows bush. Tomorrow night, we will get started in the main plot, and have images of the leads.

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  • Bo Zena (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Gina Garcia (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
  • Kira Reed (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Sita Thompson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Thao Nguyen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    21 Grams (2003)

    This is the third time I've looked at this film. These images represent a major upgrade, since they were made from a screener. Unfortunately, it is a VHS screener, not DVD, but they're not bad at all.



    • Charlies' French Cinema Nudity site is updated.
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    • new volume: the Hilton sisters



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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
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    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Stuff from opposite ends of the spectrum today.

    First up are almost-A list babes, giving up hardly nothing.

    Gayle Hunnicutt and Pamela Franklin in The Legend of Hell House. Both of these women nearly made the A list way back in the 60's but couldn't quite get over the hump. Gayle is so desperate in this movie she attempts to seduce Roddy McDowell. He declines the offer. Pamela plays a medium. Which is not to say that had Rosie O'Donnell been cast, she would have played an extra-large. Pamela strips in the dark so that you get to see her cute little bod in silhouette.

    Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Troll. Don't ask about her get-up. You do not want to know. You do get to see her bum, however, and it ain't half bad. Unlike her career since Seinfeld.

    Okay, then at the other end of the spectrum are a whole bunch of women who are trying to get onto the B list even and who gave up goodies in Road Trip.

    Aerica D'Amara and Bridgett Wise played topless babes who had to pretend to be interested in Tom Green. Talk about some seriously difficult acting.

    The rest of the women were in the second best girls locker room scene of all time. The best, so far as I am concerned, is from Private School. Anyway the named babes are Alliyah Campbell and Jaclyn Desantis, both of whom possess delightfully natural bodies. Two other babes, who go uncredited, give award-winning, triple-B performances. in fact, the first of these is as exposed as any babe can get in a non-porno film. Did I mention this was one kick-ass scene?

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Bikini Bandits Experience"
    If you just want to make a B-movie loaded with women in bikinis, why even bother with a plot? Well, apparently, the producers felt they were bound to tie this mess up with something, so we have the Bikini Bandits being sent to hell after their car goes off the cliff.

    The bikini-clad ladies are OK, hence the collage, but why they even bothered with a plot is beyond me. Sixty minutes of the girls simply posing would have been just as entertaining.

    Incidentially, I thought this would be a non-nude collage until I capped the sequence of the bikini-clad drag race starter jumping up and down in a top that was way too small to hold her charms. :-)

    Claire Forlani D'oh! I missed this one a few days ago when C2000 sent in a whole bunch of 'caps of the sexy "Mallrats" star showing some skin in scenes from her first movie, "Gypsy Eyes" (1992). Here is one more collage of her topless.

    Bénédicte Loyen LC 'caps of from the French movie "Mais qui a tué Pamela Rose?" (2003). Loyen is topless in a hot tub.

    Ingrid Seynhaeve
    (1, 2)

    Getting her boob autographed in another French movie, 2003's "Rien que du bonheur". Thanks again to LC.

    Elisabeth Shue
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Shue baring breasts and bum in scenes from "Cousin Bette" (1998).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Good Luck Keeping Fruitcakes Off Of Planes - The Canadian Air Transport Security Authority has classified fruitcakes as a security hazard. A spokesman said that fruitcakes are very dense and it's easy to hide a weapon inside one. So if you bring a fruitcake on board an airliner in Canada, expect to wait while it's X-rayed to see if it contains anything lethal.

  • Of course it does: it contains fruitcake!
  • Who needs to sneak a blackjack onto a plane in a fruitcake when you could just break someone's skull with the fruitcake?
  • People who give fruitcakes are also very dense.
  • As a public service, couldn't they just confiscate ALL the fruitcakes?
  • Now, fruitcakes are security hazards...It was bad enough when they were just biohazards.

    Out Of The Frying Pan, Into The Fire - Michael Jackson's parents, Joseph and Katherine Jackson, told ABC's "20/20" that they believe he's innocent, and if his three kids are taken away, they'll adopt and raise them themselves.

  • Joe Jackson can apply his time-tested child-rearing methods.
  • I never thought I'd say these words, but..."Those kids would be better off with Michael Jackson!"

    They Made Him Sit On An Unpadded Chair! - Jackson family insiders are claiming that the Santa Barbara Police mistreated Michael when he turned himself in. His brother Jermaine scoffed that they treated him "like a king...Rodney King."

  • Michael prefers to be called the "Rodney King of Pop."
  • They put him in a holding cell with NO stuffed animals!
  • His nose was broken in 30 places, and it was only broken in 29 places when he went in.
  • He came out with his face horribly mutilated! Oh, wait: that's how he arrived.