Unfaithful (2002) is a love triangle story, this time with the suburban housewife taking a younger, and Richard Gere playing the over the hill stodgy cuckolded husband. Nice to see that someone recognized that Gere is too old for romantic leads. Diane Lane is tired of housewife and mother, where her exciting life has her making bunny costumes for the school play, and soliciting donations for a school benefit auction. Gere owns some sort of business, and Lane comes after work and their son in his mind.
Lane is in New York on a very blustery day, and literally runs into handsome young book dealer Olivier Martinez, actually knocking him over and landing on top of him. The spark is there from their first look at each other, but it takes two more visits before she has the nerve to do it with him. He quickly becomes her lunchtime habit, and the sex scenes between them, while not very explicit, absolutely sizzle. When Gere finds out, he confronts Martinez, with disastrous results. Without writing a spoiler, the ending is ambiguous. The special features include deleted scenes, all of which were wisely deleted, and an alternate, non-ambiguous ending.
Lane shows breasts in three different scenes, in bed with Gere, in the bath, and in a sex scene with Martinez. IMDB readers have it at 6.7 of 10. Made for $50M, it mad expenses with a $52M box office. Ebert was enthusiastic at three stars, glad that it avoided many common cliches. Berardinelli like the first two acts, but was disappointed in act three, and hated the ending. He guessed in awarding 2 1/2 stars that there was a less ambiguous ending on the cutting room floor. It scored 46% overall, and 52% with the top critics at Rotten Tomatoes. DIrected by Adrian Lyne, it shares a common theme in his films, that adultery is always a bad idea. Like Berardinelli, I enjoyed the first two acts, but the film lost its way, and turned into a pseudo crime thriller. Yet, it looks good, and Lane and Martinez both shine in their roles. C.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
I forgot to mention:
In the past two weeks we celebrated some landmarks:
- The site has now been changed daily, without fail, for more
than 2000 consecutive days. There have been about 2200 editions
altogether. The first 600 or so are lost forever, but the last
1600 are still online in the archives.
- For the Fun House alone, I have written slightly more than a
- The last week in November marked the 8th time we have had a
Thanksgiving Day edition. Christmas will mark the eighth Christmas
- When I first started surfing the net, there was celeb site
(now long gone) with 200 pics. Highly impressed, I signed up for
one month by phoning a 900 number, if I remember right. I thought
200 pics represented quite a vast site. Now our tiny wrestling
site is bigger than that. We have more than 70,000 just in Tuna's
site and the Encyclopedia, and that's a drop in the bucket
compared to what's in the back issues. Tuna alone has created more
than 30,000 composite jpg files, and I have created somewhere in
the 20,000 range. (I have lost count.)
- Four different people have written the Fun House at one time
or another. I have no idea how many people have contributed
pictures or columns or jokes, but it is surely many hundred.
- The site is now more than seven years old. Kids who used to
sneak on our site when their parents weren't looking are now
paying with their own credit cards. Lawdog is now actually a
lawyer! At least two of our former contributors have shuffled off
the mortal coil, one of whom (The Insider, aka Dale Davis) was a
guy I used to talk to almost every day on the phone, and a guy who
had actually slept with many of the women whose pictures grace the
site (and had photographed many of them naked around his own
house). Among his friends were Richard Hatch, Sammy Davis Jr., the
Beach Boys, Richard Boone (Paladin), famous photographer Ken
Marcus, Jan and Dean, and Leonard Nimoy. He was actually present
at many of the events detailed by John Milius in his surfing film, Big Wednesday,
and was gracious enough to reminisce for us about the real people
who became the fictional characters in the movie -check the Big
Wednesday page for details. I sure miss the
guy. Memento mori.
Jeez, I'm starting to sound like an old fart.
I have done an
Unfaithful DVD before, as recently as last week, so I didn't cap the new retail DVD release.
I'm writing about it here to tell you that there is no additional nudity in the deleted
scenes. Just more sadness. If filmmakers could be compared to
literary figures, Adrian Lyne would be the Thomas Gray (Elegy
Written in a Country Churchyard) of the cinema
- with sadness and regret at the heart of his work, although Gray
was more obsessed with the fleeting nature of wealth and power,
while Lyne is more into the fleeting nature of passion.
Who else? I guess Spielberg would be our Lord Byron - not a deep
thinker or a groundbreaker, but eternally optimistic, with a gift
for communicating to average people. If Byron made films, "Raiders"
would be his kind of adventure. Kubrick would be our Keats - aloof,
contemplative, technically flawless. Coppola is perhaps our Dickens
- his films populated with characters destined for archetypal
status. Who would be our Shakespeare, unquestioned master of every
human variation from lowbrow humor to soaring rhetoric, from farce
to tragedy, from honor to venality, from romance to bawdiness,
encompassing all of human experience honestly? The real Shakespeare
could make the uneducated groundlings laugh and weep while touching
the souls of the most educated people. I think we are still
awaiting his or her coming in cinema. Woody Allen might have been,
but never quite made it. Peter Jackson has a shot at it. He has all
the tools, but what will he do after LOTR?
Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
The Honte's site of Swedish and International celebs is updated
Many, many new volumes today. Amy Lynn Baxter, Annie Belle, Kathleen Beller,
Sandahl Bergman, Karen Black, Jane Blalock, Jessica Biel, Carole
Bouquet, Sandra Bullock, Genevieve Bujold, Kelly Burns, Avalon
Anders, Manuela Arcuri, Gillian Anderson, Juliet Anderson
One hot princess. The youngest member of the Swedish royal family is
When you get there, you can click on her picture to get a larger one-
plenty of cleavage. I don't think you
need to speak Swedish to understand this: "Prinsessan
är en riktig babe"
Today's bad taste Kristmas Kitsch -
The Ten Commandments Throw Blanket. Imagine fornication under
the "thou shalt not's", or just use it to cover your legs at the big
game. As you see or hear the commandments broken in the stands,
simply hold up the blanket and show the tablets to the sinners.
Share the fun with your kids. See if they can count how many
commandments are broken by the Packers fans. Blessed are the
What could be a better Christmas gift than
the Michael Jackson prosthetic nose. ("Makes a great nose for
your snowman, too")
By the way, I'm not actually going to give any of these presents to
people. I'm giving myrrh to everyone this year. About two years ago,
I cornered the world myrrh market, so I need to cut back on my
surplus. But if you want myrrh, well, you have to go through me.
Either that or deal with the so-called Myrrh Mafia. They might smell
April-fresh, but they can be kinda rough.
Dreaming of a White Trash Christmas. It takes a while to load (a
couple minutes on a dial-up connection), but it is an elaborate
DOES have weapons of mass destruction - cars, cigarettes, fast
The Smoking Gun is a cool site - Trent Lott seems to have stirred up
quite a controversy when he said that we should have
elected Strom in 1948 right? - The question is - when did Lott say
it? Oh, yeah, about a week ago,
in 1980 - in almost the exact same words.
Thurmond's actual platform from 1948, also thanks to The Smoking
Gun. "We stand for the segregation of the races and the racial
integrity of each race". In those days there were also many laws
against mixing the races sexually or matrimonially, and the ol'
Stromburger opposed the forced repeal of those laws.
Dubya find's Lott's remarks offensive. The President
reserved the right to change his mind based upon several
possibilities (1) he might actually find out what Lott really said,
(2) Condoleeza might explain what it actually meant, (3) the polls
might indicate the remarks are more acceptable or less acceptable
than he now believes.
Stallone to lace up for Rocky VI. Yo, Adrienne, my cane.
Sports prospects -
the ten biggest flops? Actor-athlete The Boz makes the list.
Hollywood to make
Starsky and Hutch, the movie. To star Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson,
with Snoop Dogg as Huggy Bear
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
|An awesome find by AF from from the German version of GQ. The "Charlie's Angels" babe posing topless! Here's what we have:
Link #1...subtle nipple sighting
Link #3...a bare breast and not much covering up down south
Link #4...single exposed breast
Link #5...again, not much covering the goodies down below
Link #6...single breast exposure
Links 7 and 8...both the same image with a little editing to try to bring out more of the goodies. Why? Well, because she's wearing see-thru undies while sitting in the tub. Nipples are clearly seen, and while lighting has obscured any clear views down under, there is still something to see!
|Not a huge name, but she currently can be seen in "Die Another Day", and on video as Angelina Jolie's body double in "Tomb Raider". These scans of her in lingerie are from a recent issue of FHM.
'Caps and comments by ICMS:
Let me start with some images of Lucy Lawless from the 1996 episode "Here she comes...Miss Amphipolis" from "Xena, Warrior Princess". We have a partial side view of her left breast and a good look at her bum.
Of course she isn't showing as much as we would want but I think this is a nice addition to the Fun House.
In this episode Xena takes part in a beauty pageant as a blonde to prevent a war. Yes, I know this sounds silly, but I had more fun watching this than I had watching "Miss Congeniality". The Xena series is simply uncomplicated fun to watch. After all, everything doesn't have to be serious and mind twisting all the time, does it? And Lucy Lawless simply excelled in the role of Xena. I think she is a much better actress than some give her credit for because in the series she easily slips from character into an other and becoming someone completely different. Would "Xena, Warrior Princess" have lasted six seasons without Lucy in the title role?
- Lucy Lawless
Now let's move on to a Japanese horror flick from 1999 called "Junk". It is Re-Animator meets Zombie Flesh Eaters with 4 first time jewelry store robbers and a Yakusa boss with his gang added to it. One of the reasons that makes it watchable is in fact the music score. For the rest it lacks about everything: a decent story line, good actors, inventivity, bloody and gory scenes that don't look fake, an actress who shows skin with a last name.
The story is this: a Japanese doctor, whose English is so bad that I had to switch on the German subtitles, conducts some secret DNX (!) experiments with the American army in an abandoned factory in Okinawa. The general idea is to bring the dead back to live. But the experiments aren't much of a success since all deads turn into dumb zombies after being injected with the same green liquid from Re-Animator. Except one, beautiful Kyoko (Miha), the Japanese doctor's wife who died some months earlier and who was the reason the doctor started these experiments. Kyoko is intelligent and even deprogrammed the computer that was set to blow the factory and every one in it into smithereens. I guess pulling the plug was to easy. We have a lot of deads, blood and something like a happy ending for two robbers, but are the zombies really neutralized? Miha is unknown to the IMDb where this film's score is 5.3 with 48 votes. I'll give it D-. That's enough about this flick, now admire Japanese actress Miha's rather large and apparently real breasts.
From the French version of Vogue, excellent B&W, nude scans of the ladies featured in their 2003 calendar.
- Bridget Hall, bare bum.
- Carolyn Murphy, almost full frontal.
- Frankie Rayder, full frontal nudity.
- Hannekore Knuts, almost full frontal.
- Heidi Klum, she's fully nude, but cupping her breasts.
- Helena Christensen, topless pose.
- Jessica Miller, full frontal.
- Karoline Kurkova, great body, but unfortunately not enough is exposed for my tastes.
- Maggie Rizer, topless in #1, bare bum in #2.
- Natalia Vodianova, bare breast and maybe a little bit more down south.
- Tasha Tilberg, topless and tattooed.
- Trish Goff, excellent lower frontal nudity.
|The French supermodel and actress looking great in a couple of bikini scans. I'm fond of #2.
|Pokies and soaking wet shirts with great see-thru/pokies from the movie "Sorority Boys". The blonde (on the left in #1, in the middle of 2 and 3) is Bree Turner. Probably best known as the pet shop girl who from "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo"
|The model posing topless (links 3 and 6), with arms over boobs (links 2,4 and 5), and some other partial breast exposure in links 1 and 7.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
KYLIE'S BUTT TOO ENTICING FOR TEENS
You Pinch It, You Bought It - London's Daily Express reports that Woolworth
stores are having a hard time keeping their Kylie Minogue advent calendars
intact. They have a picture of Kylie with 31 small doors cut into it, and
buyers are supposed to open one door each day to get the piece of chocolate
from behind it. But teenage boys keep ripping off the shrink wrap and
opening the door for December 27, which is on Kylie's bottom. A
spokeswoman said they've now been sealed in plastic bags because "we
couldn't have Kylie's bottom pinched, could we?"
They're so disappointed to find nothing under that door but chocolate.
What better symbolizes the bountiful gifts God has given to
mankind than Kylie Minogue's ass?
You can't blame them: they're just looking for a luscious treat.
Look at this calendar, and you wonder what it's the advent of.
COURTNEY LOVE DRAGGED INTO WINONA RYDER CASE
Hi, Doctor Nick! - A doctor who helped Winona Ryder obtain her
prescriptions had his license suspended and may face prosecution. Courtney
Love, who has defended her friend Winona, threatened to sue
TheSmokingGun.com for reporting allegations that Love also went to that
doctor and was the one who sent Ryder to him. But a California Medical
Board report said that a patient identified as "C.L." complained of a bee
sting, and the doctor gave her Vicodin. He then made numerous home visits,
dispensing "injectable Demerol, syringes and sedative hypnotics" with
How much examination does it take to know that Courtney Love need
Hey, it was a BEE STING! I'm surprised he didn't give her a morphine
Letting Courtney Love choose your pharmacologist is like letting Michael
Jackson pick your plastic surgeon.
He gave Winona every drug there is, except the one that controls