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"An Officer and a Gentleman" (1982)

The big release today, at least for me, is An Officer and a Gentleman. Zach Mayo (Richard Gere) goes to live with his father who is in the Navy in Subic bay when his mother commits suicide. He grows up living over a whorehouse, and learns to drink and chase whores from his father. After he graduates from college, he decides to join the Navy to "fly jets" and attends an officer candidate school in Puget sound Washington.

He becomes friends with a classmate, and the two meet two local "Puget Sound Debs," who are local girls who dream of marrying a Naval officer and escaping small town Washington. Zack is a cheap hustler, and tries his usual approach to both the training and his relationship with his "Deb," Debra Winger. His DI, Marine Gunnery Sergeant Foley sees through him, and proves equal to the challenge of causing him to become an officer and a gentleman.

This film has always worked for me on two levels. First, it is what military training is supposed to be, but so seldom is. The transformation of Zack from immature self-serving hustler to officer and gentleman is well written and well-acted. The love story is also very well done. Gere and Winger have definite chemistry together, and the scene that produced the exposure is very hot, and well lit.

Maltin found it trite, and awarded 2 1/2 stars. Apollo says 73, or nearly 3 stars, and IMDB readers have it at 6.8/10. The Academy thought better of it, awarding Oscars to Gosset for his performance as Sgt. Foley, and the song Up Where We Belong. It was nominated for 4 more. The DVD transfer is outstanding, but it is a little lacking in special features. I give the film 3 1/2 stars. My judgement could be clouded by the fact that I could relate to so much of the story. I was in Naval Air, spent some time in Subic Bay, and spent a lot of time in Puget Sound, where the arrival of our aircraft carrier meant full employment for the entire region and husbands for all the single daughters. This is definitely a date movie.

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  • Debra Winger
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    It wasn't such a bad week for new releases, the jewel of which was the 13 hours of "The Sopranos, Year 1". That's a package with nudity sprinkled throughout, and with the non-naked content worth watching. I did manage to get through the entire set of 4 DVD's, so it'll probably take me two days to stop talking like that. I kept asking Elya to pass me "da fuckin' salt" at dinner. I didn't capture every minute of nudity, since there were many unidentified and incidental strippers and hookers with a frame or two of exposure. (Tony Soprano owns and works out of a strip club called Bada Bing). I did get the significant appearances from incidental characters, and I think I got all the major stuff.

    Episode 1, Siberia Federico. Tony's Russian girlfriend, Irina, was played by Federico in the first episode. In the remaining episodes, the role was assayed by Oksana Babiy

    Episode 3, I think her name is Bernadette Penotti. She is the stripper who pretended to be a nurse to cheer up the dying Jackie.

    Episode 5, only a brief flash from Lisa Arning, plating the wife of the guy in the witness protection plan. Soprano spotted the guy while he was on his college tour with his daughter. I'll bet you can guess what he did to him.

    Episode 6, the Lorraine Bracco character was seen showering in a dream sequence. Almost certainly a body double , since there was an abrupt and clumsy cut from the body to the head. This was the episode for nudity, as it also featured lovely Oksana Babiy in an extended topless appearance with an impotent Tony.

    Episode 9, a really cute stripper with a lot of screen time, specifically named Brandy in the script, but I couldn't find her in the cast.

    Episode 11, various unknown hookers and strippers.

    Mario Puzo has always been dumbfounded by the impact of his mob romance come true. When he wrote The Godfather, he admits that he did virtually no research on the organization of the crime families. He used some folklore, some rumor, and made the rest up himself. But life and art intersect in the 20th century, and it is not always possible to identify which created which. It doesn't matter if Puzo's original novel didn't reflect reality, because reality came to reflect Puzo's novel. So Puzo, in effect, created the mob structures as we know them today.

    FBI wiretaps have indicated that today's wiseguys watch The Sopranos, so that show is more instant folklore in the making. The Sopranos have to be the most talked about family since Manson, and their show the most discussed since Seinfeld. Good for them. It's deserving. I don't know how real it is, but I know it's basically a soap opera, and the only thing a soap opera really needs is really interesting and well developed characters placed in sensational situations. This show has all of that in spades, plus it actually keeps surprising us by killing off some major characters.

    Only one thing is missing for it to be a really good soap opera. So far, not one evil twin.


    TomCat worked on a recent Italian film, "The Butcher", with Eurobabe Alba Parietti. (No review page)

    Celebrity Sleuth reported that yesterday's Melanie Griffith cap was from 1988's "Stormy Monday".

    You know that I enjoy following politics, but I haven't weighed in on the current constitutional crisis in the U.S. Well, frankly, I don't care enough about the outcome to study the issue, but I do have some thoughts on a topic I've always found interesting - our current lame duck President and his future. Why has he been so quiet on the entire election matter? Is it statesmanlike grace or self-interest? Read my theory on why President Clinton might actually prefer to be succeeded by President Bush. (And even if he doesn't actually prefer it, he sure ain't gonna piss Dubya off.)


    Da friggin' smut:

  • Siberia Federico, "The Sopranos" Episode 1 (1, 2)
  • Bernadette Penotti, "The Sopranos" Episode 3 (1, 2)
  • Lisa Arning, "The Sopranos" Episode 5
  • Lorraine Bracco, "The Sopranos" Episode 6
  • Oksana Babiy, "The Sopranos" Episode 6 (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • "Brandy", "The Sopranos" Episode 9
  • Drea De Matteo, "The Sopranos" Episode 10 (1, 2)
  • Unknown Hooker, "The Sopranos" Episode 11
  • Another Unknown Hooker, "The Sopranos" Episode 11
  • Unknown Stripper, "The Sopranos" Episode 11

  • Melanie Griffith, "Stormy Monday"
  • Alba Parietti, "The Butcher". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Brainscan
    Comments by Brainscan:

    Linda O'Neill
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Ah yes the lovely Linda O'Neill has appeared in the Funhouse for a couple of days; I agree wid youse, Junior: her plastic boobs are a bridge too far. So hows 'bout her in the pre-augmentation days? Found these on usenet a long time ago, apparently scanned from a Japanese magazine. Tis Linda and they are lovely.

    Linda part 2
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Another batch Linda O'Neill scans, some my own, others picked up from usenet and edited for size and content. As you know Linda is not only a fitness babe (membership in which requires the possession of two fake boobs) but also a B movie bim (membership in which requires the possession of...oh never mind).

    Despite the robo-hooters in the first couple of scans, Linda is a-okay in my book, thanks to that killer arse of hers.

    Harkening back to the olden days, the remainder of the scans show Linda in her twenties, I guess. Not quite so buff as she is now but the natural beauty is more evident, yes?

    Donna Ewin And while I was at it, thought I would attach a collage of Donna Ewin, page 3 babe. She is a bit .... how you say? Beefy?... for my tastes but nonetheless a suitable candidate for Funhouse enshrinement.
    Jean Manson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Okay, now that I can post a few more things, let me show you the latest attempt at vidcapping.

    Movie subject of the day, dear friends, is the '77 classic Young Nurses starring (drum roll, please) Jean Manson. Miss Jean was a bunnymagmate in the 70's and a semi-popular singer in France (0r so I hear). Made a few movies, was nekkid in a couple of em (bit part as a hooker in "10 to Midnight"); shows the goodies big time in Young Nurses. So the movie is an RPOS (real piece of s***) that coulda, shoulda and woulda been made by Andy Sidaris if'n it had a lot of guns and bombs and knives and Hawaiians. Overwrought drama, bad acting, stupid dialog: the trifecta that spells fun for the whole family. But there are 4 babes in it that shed clothes and that makes it a classic in the history of cinema.

    So Jean plays a nurse... a young nurse... who takes up with a patient. I think he's famous or rich or hung like a horse because he is certainly ugly and hairy and devoid of any trace of intellect or humor. I think the actor must be the director's son. Or maybe even the director himself, because no one would deliberately cast such a dweeb as the romantic lead, opposite a playmate for heaven's sake, unless he was playing this for the irony. And you can trust me on this one: not a solitary moment of irony in the whole 80 minutes.

    First collage has Jean on a sailboat, sunning herself sans top... apparently for the first time because thems are some serious tan lines (I, myself, love tan lines). She is shocked, shocked mind you, to find a guy gawking at her and so she moves to cover up. Know what I noticed 'bout the caps? In them, Jean Manson looks very much like Melissa Joan Hart. An unscrupulous sort would have passed these off as paparazzi scans of Melissa in the buff, 'specially since I appear to be the only one who has ever watched this puppy (vid store owner said it had not been rented in 2 years. Yikes!).

    The remaining caps are from a scene on the beach in which Jean and the hairy troll frolic. Her top is tied to a kite and flies away to general applause from the viewing public; then he strips off his trunks (I spared you the sight, Junior, because I like you) and (now get this) she proceeds to tie the kite string 'round his thingy. Oh, its implied and all, but there ain't no mistaking what's afoot. While they make like kissy-face, there is some pube action on her part caught in one of these collages. Could have been more because Jean gambols in the waves with a slobbering, hairy beast (not the romantic lead, but a Saint Bernard) whilst wearing nuttin'...but the damn director had her in California and the camera in Idaho. If I had capped it, you guys would not have liked it anyway.

    That's it for the major source of nudity in the movie; tomorrow I will hit you with three more (well, two and a half, as you will see).

    and ...
    Carole Laure Topless vidcaps of the French Canadian actress from 1981's "Un assassin qui passe", by UC99.

    Katrin Weisser Scenes from "Der Mörder in Dir" by Celeblover. Topless nudity, plus a lot of lingerie frames.

    Rachel Weisz Topless, and frontal bottomless scenes from the UK movie "I Want You" (1998). Thanks to Graphic Response for the collage.

    Gisele Bundchen A B&W of the ol' arm over boobs bit.

    Miss Jaqueline A little Rasslin coverage from Crow....In these frames, it seems that Miss Jaqueline had a bit of trouble keeping her outfit on during WWF's Fully Loaded.

    Laure Sainclair
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Brand new hardcore 'caps of the Euro-porn star from "L'amour de Laure", by Scanman.

    Monica Bellucci An absolutely gorgeous topless scan of the Italian babe.

    Victoria Beckham
    (1, 2)
    Two new scans of Posh Spice by RVF. The only real skin is a little cleavage in #1.


    Kelly Brook


    Three British babes looking hot in Front magazine.

  • Jordan is busting out of her skin tight, latex body suit.
  • Kelly is taking care of "French Maid" fantasy
  • And Loren...all I can think of is how much those puppies are begging to be set free from the corset that binds them!

  • Dannii Minogue A very lovely scan of the Aussie babe with almost a full nipple visible.

    Georgina Grenville A full frontal of the model. Despite the fact that everything is showing, there really isn't much to see.

    Kate Moss A topless scan. Looks like she's really bulked up. (well, by supermodel standards anyway)
    The Funnies by Number 6
    The Number 6 solution to the Election....

    How to settle the 2000 Presidential Election:

    Ok, Folks. I've given the people in Florida plenty of time to get this election finished. Now It is my turn:
    #1: Al Gore becomes President of the United States (all 49 states).
    #2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

    Gore shouldn't mind as he said we were the worst state in the union during the campaign.

    So what does Texas have to survive as a Republic?

  • NASA in Houston, Texas (we will control the space industry).
  • We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States (that is why Houston has problems with the air quality).
  • Defense Industry (we have over 65% of it). The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on new meaning.
  • Oil - we can supply all the oil the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years.
  • Natural Gas-Again we have all we need (too bad about those northern states). Al Gore will have to figure a way to keep Tipper and you warm....
  • Computer Industry-we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips. A few small places named Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, AMD, EDS, etc., etc.
  • Health Centers-We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers, and other large health planning centers.
  • We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT, Texas A&M, Rice, University of Houston, SMU, Baylor, UNT, TCU and many, many others.
  • We have a ready supply of workers (just open the border when we need some more) and our friends across the border will pour in by the thousands.
  • We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc. This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas afloat.

    Now to the rest of the United States under President Gore:

  • Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Gore will be able to drive around in his SUV which gets him about 9 miles per gallon. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
  • You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications.
  • You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since Al's promised global warming, I'm sure you won't get cold!
  • You won't need our computer chips since you won't have electricity to power the computers.
  • So don't worry about us down here in Texas. We will be OK.

  • Click Here!