Dial: Help

 (1988)

Minaccia d'amore (1988), which translates Love Threat, known in English as Dial:Help, is a horror offering from Ruggero Deodato (Cannibal Holocaust, The House on the Edge of the Park, The Barbarian Brothers). Charlotte Lewis plays a model working in Rome, trying to reach a boyfriend by phone, and is attacked by every phone she comes near. It is bad enough when the phones drive her crazy with hundreds of voices, try to strangle her, and kill all her tropical fish, but when they start killing her friends as well, something has to change. Luckily, her neighbor rides to the rescue. Although much of his motivation is a desire to bed her, he does help her solve the mystery.

I found nothing to like about it. Probably the highlight of the film is a phone change machine in a subway that kills someone by firing coins from the coin return. So help me, I am not making this up, and it is a horror film, not a comedy.

IMDb readers say 4.2 based on 94 votes.  It is available on a Region 2 PAL from RLDVDs.com with both a German and English soundtrack. It includes numerous special features, but there is no feature special enough to make this worth owning, except maybe if it were delivered to your house by Charlotte Lewis. And even then she'd have to do a lot more nudity than she did in this film.

Fans of the writer/director find this his worst by far.

Scoop's note: and that's saying something, because he never made a watchable film!! In a career filled with crap featuring bodybuilders in sandals, his best two movies are Italian cannibal extravaganzas! After cannibals, his #2 genre is the murderous appliance films, with his killer phone film taking a back seat to his legendary killer washing machine flick.

 

Film Clips

Danielle De Luca in Naked Fear (samples below). I have this film, hope to review it soon.

And three HD clips

• Katie Holmes in The Gift, a former winner in the annual "best nude scenes" poll. I just watched it, and I still love this scene.
• Patsy Kensit in Lethal Weapon 2
• Jennifer Esposito in Crash

New work from Hugo

Monica Schnarre in Killer	Mimi Rogers in Killer
Cameron Richardson in Rise
Lucy Liu in Rise	Monet Mazur in Stoned
Amelia Warner in Gone	Tuva Novotny in Stoned
Sarah Lassez in Malicious	Molly Ringwald in Malicious

... and

Jessica Simpson in a blue see-through. Maybe you like her, maybe not. I notice a lot of people don't, for one reason or another. But whatever complaints you may have, you'd have to stretch some to find anything wrong with her figure. In addition to her great chest, she has legs which are rippling muscle.

Some additional versions of those recent Hurley paparazzi shots. Some of these are new to me.

Britney shows her butt yet again

Scanman's choice as the nude scene of the year: Ally Walker in Tell Me You Love Me

The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

According to a groundbreaking study by Newcastle University researchers in the journal Biology Letters, the most important factor for men in attracting women is not looks, but wealth.  A survey of over 20,000 American men since 1900 found that during times when men are in short supply, such as after World War I, men with less money and social standing had much higher marriage rates.  But during times when there were plenty of men and women had their pick, powerful and wealthy men found wives while the chances of a male pauper getting married were "drastically reduced."  

*  All poor men can do is pray that the rich, powerful guys start another war.


 

The New York Post reports that George Hamilton will star in a new
reality show that will test his ability to get into anything free because he's famous.  Upon arriving in Hollywood decades ago, Hamilton reportedly charmed a car dealer into giving him a free convertible, which impressed a studio mogul into signing him.  Now, he's sparked a network bidding war over "Don't Mind If I Do," a new reality show in which he bets contestants $2 million that they can't name a place, party or event anywhere in the world that he can't get into for free.  A source said, "If anyone can be the world's
guest, it's George."

*  But he'll have to pry Bill Clinton out of the guestroom first.



 

Britain's Baroness Gardener of Parkes thinks the vogue for thick sandwiches is contributing to obesity, and she wants the government to regulate how thick slices of bread can be

* I'm stunned!  You mean they don't regulate that already?!