"Morvern Callar"

Morvern Callar (2002) is a strange Scottish made film that received critical acclaim and several awards. Supermarket clerk Samantha Morton wakes up on the floor next to her boyfriend, who has committed suicide. He leaves his note on the computer, along with instructions as to where to send the novel he has just finished, and where to get the burial money from his bank account. She leaves him dead on the floor and goes pub crawling with happy go lucky best friend Kathleen McDermott, but not before changing the authors name on the novel to her own.

A day or two later, it occurs to her to burry the corpse herself, and buy a trip to Spain for her and McDermott with the money, after Sending the novel to a publisher. Morton is the person who would not be noticed at a party. She is profoundly unhappy, but we are never quite sure why, and is more of an observer of life than a participant. McDermott is exactly the opposite. She is outgoing, popular, and a party animal. The film does not really have a conventional plot, and never really answers questions about what is going on inside the characters head, or why she is the way she is.

Both women show breasts multiple times. IMDB readers score this 6.8 of 10. It grossed $276K in the US. Performances were pretty good in this character study, but the accents were not easy to understand, and all the Scottish scenes were dark and shot with a very subdued color palette. This should have been my kind of film, and I found it a very slow watch, but I was looking for clues to Morton's character, which kept me interested. This is a C- at best. If the above plot setup appeals to you, you might want to rent it.

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  • Kathleen McDermott (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Samantha Morton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Thirteen (2003)

    This is the third or fourth time I've looked at this film, and I'm talked out. This time the caps are from DVD. Holly looks incredible.  I stood next to her at Sundance, just after the Thirteen premiere. She can't weigh much more than 90 pounds. She's listed at 5'2", but looks even smaller. When it comes to aging, it pays to be petite. She was 44 years old when she made this, and could pass for a teenager from certain angles and in certain lights


    Matchstick Men (2003)

    No female nudity.




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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Bebe Rebolledo

    Verónica Sánchez
    (1, 2)

    Both ladies are topless, and Sánchez shows far off full frontal nudity in the Spanish film "Al sur de Granada" aka "South from Granada" (2003).

    Britt Ekland Topless and rear nudity in scenes from 1973's "The Wicker Man".

    Christina Sola Toplessness in scenes from another Spanish movie, "Lisístrata" (2002).

    Dominique Swain
    (1, 2, 3)

    The star of "Lolita" (1997) and co-star of "Face/Off" (1997) baring her breasts and making out with Mia Kirshner in scenes from "New Best Friend" (2002).

    Halle Berry
    (1, 2, 3)

    Baring her bum (link #1) and showing a little cleavage in scenes from the made-for-cable bio pic, "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge" (1999).

    Inés Sastre The lovely Spanish actress topless in scenes from "Beyond the Clouds" aka "Al di là delle nuvole" (1995).

    Jenny Ryken Another actress with only one film credit. Here she shows some toplessness in dark (and horribly blue) scenes from "The Returning" (1990).

    Catherine Bell
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    The gorgeous Bell in scenes from an episode of her hit series "JAG".

    Links 1-3 show her in a bubble bath.
    Links 4-6 show her all wet and only wearing a towel.
    Link 7-8 three words...tight white shirt :-)

    Samantha Mathis Topless in scenes from the Gen-X teen agnst movie, "Pump up the Volume". It wasn't a exactly big hit, but it lives on as a cult favorite among aging Gen-Xer's like myself.

    Lisa Donatz and
    Corinne Kingsbury
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The topless KY jelly wrestling babes from "Old School".

    Seo-hyeong Kim
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

    A some soft-core from South Korea...Señor Skin 'caps of with Kim showing everything in scenes from "Sweet Sex and Love" (2003).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Chain Of Fools - When Sharon Smith was elected the first female mayor of Houston, British Colombia, her husband was so proud, he celebrated by snapping a few photos of her in her office, nude except for the chain of office. Then their son held a party while they were away, someone made a copy from their computer, and now the shots are all over town. The mortified mayor says the photos were a private moment and anyone possessing them has stolen property. But some locals accused her of bad judgment and a lack of respect for the office and demanded she resign.

  • Other locals demanded she put a webcam in her bedroom.
  • Personally, I think it's refreshing to see a politician who has nothing to hide.
  • If she were the governor of California, her approval rating would skyrocket.
  • I just pray that Prince Charles never takes nude photos of Camilla playing with the royal jewels.

    Don't You Just Hate Her? - Kylie Minogue told The Sun that she doesn't have an eating disorder, but she forgets to eat when she's under stress. So when she's on tour, to make sure she's getting enough calories, she hires employees to remind her to eat.

  • And other employees to remind her to throw up.
  • If her butt gets too skinny, there goes her singing career!
  • Pavarotti has a whole staff of people who do that for him.

    More Like A Fruitsicle - The hilariously macho cult movie "Road House" is being made into an Off-Broadway show called "Road House: The Stage Version Of The Cinema Classic That Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak From The 80's Cult Classic 'The Last Dragon' Wearing a Blonde Mullet Wig." Producer Timothy Haskell said it wasn't necessary to camp it up; just putting the movie on stage is campy enough. He also denied reports that it's a musical, although the fights are vividly choreographed. He calls it a "fightsical."

  • Like a musical, only not as gay.
  • They don't tell Taimak this, but the blonde mullet wig is the real star.
  • Too bad it's not a musical: I'd love to see a big production number built around a song called "Pain Don't Hurt."

    J-Locust - The Sun reports that Jennifer Lopez has been dropped as the face of Louis Vuitton after she stunned the fashion bosses by walking off with every designer item from a Paris photo shoot. An insider said models are often allowed to take a few items they've worn and really liked, but J-Lo set her entourage to packing up everything on the set, helping herself to over $8,000 worth of clothes, shoes and bags. Then, 10 minutes after she left, an underling returned to grab a pair of socks she'd forgotten.

  • It was like the diva version of "How The Grinch Stole Christmas."
  • She did leave the pants, but only because she'd busted out the rear seams.
  • They should just be grateful J-Lo didn't want some new camera equipment.
  • After "Gigli," J-Lo figures she'd better stockpile warm clothing for the future.

    Who ARE These People?! - Last night on a two-hour ABC special, the lavish wedding of "Bachelorette" Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter, complete with interminable slow walks down a long, long aisle by elderly relatives, was watched by millions of viewers.

  • All of whom would gladly catch the flu to avoid attending their own relatives' weddings.
  • This wedding actually lasted longer than the marriage will.
  • They could've at least put a Slip 'N' Slide on the aisle, to hurry things up and provide us with some entertainment.

    And The Most Ill-Advised Marriage Since Then, Too - ABC estimated that the wedding cost $3.77 million, including $500,000 for 30,000 roses imported from Ecuador, $30,000 for guests' gift bags, and 3,000 wine and champagne glasses. They billed it as "the most anticipated wedding since Charles and Diana."

  • And we all know what a great idea THAT was.
  • Of course, now, every bride will want one just like it.
  • To recoup some of the money, Trista's gown had "Golden" written on the back of it.