"Mondo Topless"

Mondo Topless (1966 documentary) is a Russ Meyer masterpiece, and is really a parade of topless dancers thinly disguised as a documentary. There are essentially two groups of women, San Francisco topless dancers, and European topless dancers. The European women were filmed doing their acts in clubs, and mostly showed breasts, whereas the San Francisco women were filmed mainly out of doors, and were also interviewed in voice over while they danced. Tonight, the Eurobabes.

Denice Duvall
Gigi La Touche
Greta Thorwald
Heidi Richter
Yvette Le Grand

I also through in American Lorna Maitland, who once tried for a spot in the bunnymag, but was rejected due to overly large breasts. She shows those overly large breasts, as well as buns. She starred in the film Lorna (1964), another Russ Meyer classic.

IMDB readers have it at 5.1 of 10. There are no reviews available. This, like nudist films, was a way to get naked breasts into the theaters, and the topless craze, which started at North Beach, San Francisco was still new and controversial enough to attract an audience. The music is as bad now as it was then, and the topless go go dance was never all that creative, so the only appeal for me was nostalgia. Tomorrow, the rest of the woman, including lots of buns. I really don't know how to score this, but it is, I suppose, a documentary, and does present an overview of the topless scene, so it rates at least a C-.

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  • Abundavita (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Denice Duvall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Gigi La Touche (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Greta Thorwald (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Heidi Richter (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Lorna Maitland (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Yvette Le Grand (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    I wrote extensively about Quiet Days in Clichy (images yesterday). Bad movie, but interesting sidebars.

    No time for talk today. Too many new releases from Blockbuster this week, almost all with some nudity. Here's the pics. I'll write the comments later.

    The Big Kahuna this week is Human Nature, a strange comedy from the author of Being John Malkovich

    One Way Out is a straight-to-vid bad cop thriller with Jim Belushi

    • Guylaine St-Onge (1, 2, 3)

    Halloween: Resurrection is ... well, you know what it is. The latest slasher pic with Michael Myers



    Uncle Scoopy,

    There are two versions of Monster's Ball on Cinemax - a rated R version,  and a NR TV-MA version. I noticed because my Tivo acted like they were two different movies, and after scrutiny I noticed that Tivo was saying one was R and one NR.  The  only other difference in the online guide was that one was CC/Stereo/SAP (the NR one) and one was CC/Stereo - no SAP (the R one).

    I recorded both, and at the beginning one says R and one says TV-MA, and the latter one also says ESP at the beginning (by the CC and Stereo symbols).  Whereas the R version doesn't say ESP. The Halle Berry sex scene is approx. 3 minutes in the R version and 5
    minutes in the NR version.  That movie clip with Halle Berry on top where you can see Billy Bob's balls - that's in the NR version!

    Here's a difference anybody can check, to see what version they have.  Look at the part where they show Billy/Halle's reflection in a mirror with two red heart stickers on it.  It begins out of focus and gradually becomes  clearer.  In the R version, it's still well out of focus when the camera cuts away.  In the TV-MA version, the scene in the mirror is longer and comes into very clear focus at the end.

    To further confuse me and everybody else - according to my Tivo Guide, the version I recorded Saturday night at 10:00 p.m. was the R version, and the version I recorded last night (Tuesday morning) at 4:00 was the NR version.  But it's the other way around.  Saturday night's recording is the NR version with the long sex scene, and last night's is the R with the shorter version. I will save both of these versions for a while, so if you have any questions about it feel free to ask.

    It's exciting for me to be able to contribute this knowledge that I think  many funhouse readers will find helpful!

    Dear Scoopy

    I have just read the note in the "Funhouse" by Mr. Grundy about Capucine. This lady was born in 1935 as Germaine Lefèvre (according to Jean Tulard).  IMDB has Lefebvre, but it is pronounced just the same, and the meaning of this exotic name is "Smith". This unfortunate woman took her own life in 1990 in an act of despair, as she realized she was getting old. Quel gâchis (what a waste) !


    A few years ago Celebrity Sleuth ran some pages on Winona Ryder that included a (possible) full frontal pic. The description of that pic included doubts of its validity. I think we can put the debate to rest now. After viewing your pics today for Quiet Days in Clichy, it's pretty obvious that Sleuth's full frontal of Winona was indeed Anne Kehler. If you can dig up that old pic of Sleuth's and compare to your pic of Kehler it should leave no doubt that it is the same person.

    Wow - talk about a good memory. You're right. Ten years ago. Celebrity Sleuth, Volume 5, Number 7, page 11. That picture is definitely a scene from Quiet Days in Clichy, which was filmed in 1970. Winona was born in 1971.


    Hey, Scoop

    I have to write an English Lit essay, and as usual I haven't read the book. You read all this crap, so tell me, why shouldn't I kill a mockingbird?. I mean, why is it any worse than killing a sparrow or a crow or a fucking ruby-throated egret? Is a mockingbird some kind of endangered species?

    Glad you asked. I really admire your sensitive approach to that distinguished book by Harper Lee, and this answer will surely earn you the "A" you deserve.

    If you kill a sparrow, there will be no retribution from the sparrow mob or anything like that. Sparrows are complacent and docile. But if you kill a mockingbird, its relatives will mock you forever. An entire flock of mockingbirds has been harassing  Eric Estrada for years, because he accidentally killed one of the flock while filming an episode of CHIPs. That's why he doesn't work now. He still gets plenty of job offers, but whenever he tries to work, those mockingbirds are always there, mocking him.

    Also, his co-stars hate it when the snack table is covered with mockingbird doody.

    Interestingly, however, while you should never kill a mockingbird, if you do accidentally whack one, you can reverse all the damage you have done by killing a second mockingbird. It is one of the rare cases where two wrongs do, in fact, make a right. Estrada has been trying for years to kill a second one, but they are too quick for him.


    Hey, Scoop

    Yes, It's true that I took my handle (first CB, then as a capper/scanner) from the original Marvel Comics character, Rawhide Kid (of the 50's), but he wasn't gay and I definitely am not!  Gonna have to change my name now. I think I'll write to Marvel and tell them "Thanks a Lot Guys!  Why couldn't you have picked on Kid Colt????"
    Rawhide Kid (soon to be someone else!!!)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    We got your somethings... old, new, borrowed, blue. And if'n there's going to be a new Mrs. Brainscan whattaya say we go ahead and say it's Talisa Soto?

    Got Vampirella on DVD for other reasons but it was Talisa's frames that filled the In box. Grabbed over 300 frames, which rivals the record Pammy set in Barb Wire, but get this... in none of the frames is Talisa nekkid. Oh, I found some interesting stuff 'cuz she wears this skimpy little red outfit for 95% of the movie, but she gives up no goodies and still I could not resist. The woman is a sure-enough hottie but it was how she was shot in this movie that makes all the difference. The Director of Photography shoulda gotten an Oscar.

    Thirteen collages. The break-down:

    Breath-taking face and skimpy front view in 1, 3 & 7
    Killer rumpus in a skimpy bottom in 2, 4, 6, 8, 9 & 11-13. The last three are the best, IMHO.
    High leg kick seen from the front in 5. Dark but a winner.
    Pokies in #10.

    A few more Turkey Day leftovers.

    Cyndi Pass, Jocelyne Lew and Lorissa McComas in "Hindsight". Cyndi is a sometimes Hefmag model, don't know the first thing about Jocelyne, and Lorissa... well, I suspect everyone who reads the Funhouse knows a lot about Lorissa. She and the others are topless only here.

    Tai Collins in "Enemy Gold". Tai is a former Miss Virginia and the central figure in the Senator Charles Robb sex scandal several years ago. So Chuck, was she worth your seat in the Senate? My guess would be you betcha. You get to see a lot of Ms. Collins's robo-hooters in the steam room (collages 1 & 2) and then sport-humpin (collages 4-7), and you see her derriere in # 3. It looks so firm you could bounce a quarter off it.

    • Tai Collins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Last up is Zoe Gregory in "Stripper Wives". A cutie with right fine hooties, which she shows off real nice like...y'all. Pretty good caps for videotape.

    • Zoe Gregory (1, 2, 3)

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we have a "Babe in Bondage', who is none other than Cameron Diaz in "Vanilla Sky", Cameron gets tied up by Tom Cruise. The first two caps are before the bondage. Look for the nip slip during the bondage scenes (links 6 and 7).

    Mr Grundy
    'Caps and comments by Mr. Grundy:

    Today we have....

    • Justine Bateman (the "Family Ties" babe) shows a little leg, and some cleavage in scenes from "The Fatal Image".

    • Paulina Monet, topless and lesbo scenes in "Caress of the Vampire". This may be the actress's only vehicle. Her voice seems to have been dubbed. Aside from giving the notion the vampire is from outer space, a la "Vampirella," this shot-on-video fluff pretends to be a legitimate motion picture.

    • Jessica English, showing some big ol' robo-hooters. Also in scenes from "Caress of the Vampire".

    • Mary Ann, topless in "Caress of the Vampire 2," a ZZZ-Grade "Seduction Cinema" video which has nothing to do with the title that "inspired" it; the direction is credited as a group effort, which might mean nobody wanted to be held accountable.

    • Michi in "Caress of the Vampire 2," yet another of the cast members who forgot to provide their last name...but at least she shows full frontal nudity.

    • Ruby Honeycat topless in "Caress of the Vampire 2," an actress who has been generously referred to as a scream queen in the Scoopy archives. (I feel more dues need be paid before winding up with such a title of royalty.)

    • Anneka Di Lorenzo is Messalina in MESSALINA! MESSALINA!, a 1977 film played for laughs, using the same sets and props for Guccione's CALIGULA. She reprised her role from that film, almost like a latter day Martin Kosleck, whose specialty was playing Joseph Goebbels in several WWII-era films. The actress was the 1975 Penthouse Pet of the Year. Repeated printings (in Penthouse) of Anneka Di Lorenzo engaged in lesbian sex with co-actress Lori Wagner (who also appeared in both films) led Di Lorenzo to ironically sue Bob Guccione, as she believed these reminders from her past prejudiced film producers from casting her in legitimate productions. She won her case, although she received no monetary compensation. (More details in

    • Ann Osmond in "Wonderguy," a highly charming and entertaining comedy-fantasy, from 1993. I imagine it's a very hard-to-get video, as I stumbled across an old preview copy (with the "preview" message, unfortunately, burned in); the film has a (what looks like an inactive) web site at, and the distribution information is old. There is no nudity in the film, but I dug up an exposed pose of the "Wonderguy" heroine as she appeared in another film (THE FEAST).

    As always, Mr. Grundy invites you to pay him a visit at Sick Sexy Sinema Shots

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Mr. Nude Celeb takes a look at the 80's comedy classic, "Revenge of the Nerds".
    • Colleen Madden, breasts and bush as the nerds watch from their nerd cam. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Julie Montgomery, the nerds saw her naked. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Guess We Can Go Home! - An early reading of Iraq's U.N. weapons report found that it has thousands of pages on their efforts to develop nukes, including 200 pages just on "enrichment by gaseous diffusion," but they claim they haven't built a nuclear bomb yet.

  • That would be wrong!
  • This whole report is a rich exercise in gaseous diffusion.

    The Greatest Minds Of Our Civilization - Mike Farrell and Angelica Huston will release a letter calling on President Bush to stop his war rhetoric toward Iraq, signed by 100 celebrities, including Matt Damon, Jessica Lange, Martin Sheen, Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman.

  • Well, if Uma says it's the wrong foreign policy, it MUST be!
  • Remember, Ethan Hawke is more than an airhead actor...He's also a very, very bad novelist.
  • This is also the list of the 100 Americans George W. Bush is smarter than.
  • They plan to render the Iraqis harmless by putting them all to sleep with really boring movies.
  • Dennis Miller agrees: he wants Bush to stop the rhetoric and bomb Iraq already!