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"Young Lady Chatterley"

Young Lady Chatterley (1977) is a soft X, that is to say, the predecessor to soft core films with no penetration, but targeted for couples at the adult drive-in circuits. This genre is characterized by including women's fantasies, showing the woman enjoying herself, more romance and foreplay, and lots of atmosphere. Of course men still liked them because there were tits to look at, and the date was a sure thing after one of these. The plot was never a big factor in these films, and this is no exception. Cynthia Chatterley (Harlee McBride) inherits her aunt's estate (the original Lady Chatterley). She is encouraged to sell it, as there is a large mortgage due, but due to curiosity, and second thoughts about a marriage to a stable but boring man, she goes to the estate.

Once there, she starts reading the diary of her aunt (played by Mary Forbes), and we see flashbacks of what she is reading, and she seduces a large percentage of her staff, finally settling on, you guessed it, the gardener. She finally finds a way to get her fiancee to pay off the mortgage, and the two live on the estate, although he spends 4 days a week working in the City and staying with his mother. We see everything from both women more than once, and sometimes in decent light.

IMDB readers say 4.8/10, and there are no reviews available. For me, this is a very good example of the genre, and hence a C. The transfer is scarcely better than VHS quality.

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  • Harlee McBride
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

  • Mary Forbes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Under the Sand is an artistic European movie which uses simplicity as an effective technique. It is nearly plotless and actionless, yet an excellent movie. It isn't one of those arty, pretentious Euro-poseur movies, but it is a subtle example of film-as-art, as opposed to a mass-market commercial movie.

    • Charlotte Rampling. She and Sally Kirkland are battling it out for the honor of being the oldest living female star to do nude scenes. Rampling is 56. I think Jessica Tandy was 86 when she made Camilla. That will be a tough one to top, unless Sigourney Weaver lives that long. (1, 2, 3)

    • naked beach chick

    Druids tells the story of Caesar's Gallic Wars from the Gauls' point of view. Filmed in Bulgaria, with possibly the largest cast of all time, and some good performers. Plus, it maintains a semblance of historical accuracy and it looks good. So is it a good movie?

    Hell no.

    Unfortunately, all the performers are miscast, the dialogue seems to have been written by ten year olds, and it's boring. Julius Caesar had a German accent, and Caesar's mortal enemy, the Gallic chieftain Vercingetorix, was played by Christopher Lambert, wearing enough hair to get him into an 80's hair band, or an audition for Spade's replacement in Joe Dirt II. (Pictures in the review)

    • topless chicks distract the Romans while the warriors attack from the rear. (Note: this is crap - but as long as I watched it ....) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Legends of the Fall is a big, old-fashioned Hollywood epic western with Big Sky photography, swelling symphonic music and movie stars. Pure cornball, and I really like it. If you're gonna make a corny movie, do it right! The fact that I am in love with both Julia Ormond and Karina Lombard may have influenced my decision. (When the hell are they going to get Wide Sargasso Sea on DVD?)

    Capone (no info page - out of print) is the Ben Gazzara version. Nostalgia for us oldsters. When we saw this movie in context, in the mid 70's, we looked at the Blakely nude scene in shock - hey, they can't show that on screen, can they? But there she was, spreading her legs on camera. Imagine Sarah Michelle Gellar shooting a beaver on camera, and you'll get the impression of our reaction at the time. Anyway, we need to get this movie on DVD, too. (Hey, DVD God, I'd like Warm Summer Rain as well) At this moment, you can't even get a new tape of Capone.

    • Susan Blakely. She's still acting. The coolest thing about Blakely is that she lives in that same alternate universe with Mimi Rogers, where the laws of time and space do not apply. When she made this movie she was a few months older than I was at the time, her birthday being September 7, 1948. Through the intervening 25 years, she has now become four years younger than I am! It's still September 7, but now she was born in 1952! (Hey, the old Newtonian laws no longer apply in what Scoopy Jr would call this nutty new post-atomic age) (1, 2, 3)


    Encyclopedia updates: Volume X has been updated. Of course, there's only one woman in volume x, and she actually should be in volume m. (Maria Meneghel, aka Xuxa, pronounced "shoo-sha")

    Three domestic babes today. A clothed but sexy Tara Reid from a recent Maxim leads off things. Then B movie bim Tammy Parks occupies the middle, with a Penthouse portfolio from a couple years ago. PETScan did the honors on that one.
  • Tara Reid
  • Tammy Parks (1, 2, 3)

    Bringing up the domestic rear is Victoria Fuller, former Hefmate. In the oooolllddd days, Hef-fers might have made a movie or two, largely thanks to Andy Sidaris, and then would just sorta disappear. Only a few, like Betty Page or Marguerite Empay (aka Diane Webber) posed for other publications. Not anymore. Hefmates show up on the web, on the tube, on the big screen and in lots of other mags.... where they often pose in ways left out of the big Chicago publication. Case in point: Victoria Fuller. She had a portfolio in Gallery not all that long ago. Nice poses, nice lookin' woman.

  • Victoria Fuller (1, 2, 3, 3)

    Today's International babes include French actress Charlotte Alexandra from the dearly departed, long lamented Oui magazine. Oh yeah, and major Italian honey Michela Bruni.

  • Charlotte Alexandra (1, 2, 3)
  • Michela Bruni

    And speaking of nekkid French movie stars, there is always Brigitte Bardot. Tuna recently capped three of her movies (Plucking the Daisy, The Night Heaven Fell and Ms. Don Juan); I messed with the caps a bit and stuck em together in a few collages. BB was something in her prime, which was about the time my father was born.

  • Brigitte Bardot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Blackshine
    This is what I like to call a "Dr. Evil" submission...."One hundred billion fashion scans". Well, not quite, but a whole mess of 'em! These are all from Sisley Winter 2001. We've had other versions of some of the Josie Maran pics, but this is the entire layout...barn yard animals and all.

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  • Liliana Dominguez. My recommendations...link #s 10,15,16,17,18,19,21,24,25, and 29.
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)

  • Josie Thumbnail Preview
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  • Josie Maran. My recommendations...link #s 4,5,6,7,9,11,12,17,19,20, and 23.
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)

  • Josie and Liliana having some lesbo fun. (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Variety
    Eve Jenickova

    Joey House


    New collage by Dann From "Diary of a Sex Addict". All 3 ladies are topless.

    Nicole Kidman
    (1, 2, 3)

    A great first look at "Moulin Rouge". The DVD will be out next Tuesday, but in the meantime, here is a brief nip slip as Nicole rolls around on the ground.

    Hilary Shepard

    Leslie Easterbrook


    Vickie Benson

    From Nicnac...today's batch of oddities is from the 80's Beach/Hotel movie "Private Resort". It's your typical lame, beach formula comedy with T and A. The only real difference is that a couple of the actors became big stars...Rob Morrow, Johnny Depp, Hector Elizondo and Andew Dice Clay.

    As for the goods...plenty of breasts, a few bums, and the busty Police Academy chic wearing a very see-thru outfit.

    Celeb News
  • Scoop,

    More Halle Berry sex scene news:

    Pat Reeder
    The Comedy Wire

  • Scoop,

    Since you're a movie buff and keep up with all the awards and ratings, I thought you'd find this interesting. It sounds like the idiots we have to deal with in our local homeowners' association.

    Pat Reeder
    The Comedy Wire

    Movie Awards Group Ex-Member: 'It's Meaningless'

    Monday, December 10, 2001
    By Roger Friedman
    Fox News.com

    One of the main members of the National Board of Review - or rather the "National Board of People Who Aren't Reviewers But Pay a Membership Fee to See Films and Give Them Awards" - is a man I told you about last week, Robert Policastro. Policastro, according to my sources, is one of three people on the board of directors for the NBR who influence the voting. He, Lois Ballon and Carol Rapaport were the NBR leaders who made sure Moulin Rouge got the vote for Best Picture this year.

    Unlike other awards groups, the NBR is not comprised of movie reviewers. I am told that Policastro's resume consists of one long run of employment in the restaurant field. To be specific, for many years he was the banquet manager at Tavern on the Green in Manhattan. Since 1994, the NBR has been having its annual gala awards dinner at Tavern, charging $400 per head to people who want to meet and gawk at stars. According to the current banquet manager, Policastro was working at Tavern when he got involved with the group as a member. Previous to Tavern handling the NBR dinner, the event was smaller in scope - a cocktail party held for a couple of years at the New York Public Library, and then at the Equitable Life Building. According to former NBR member Kevin Lewis, the catering there was provided by a company called In Good Taste. The company is owned by Ballon and Rapaport.

    "Anyone who thinks that The Women is a dated play should look at the meetings of the National Board of Review," Lewis told me on Friday. "There it would be a documentary film."

    Lewis wrote articles for the now defunct NBR magazine Films in Review from 1980 to 1994. He has his own long resume of credits, although none in food service. He served as curator of exhibitions at the New York Public Library at Lincoln Center in the 1980s, was Special Projects Coordinator at the American Theatre Wing and at the Shubert Archive in 1991. Lewis claims that he left in 1994 when the current group took power.

    "I am disgusted with the NBR," he told me. "That year, 1994, Lois told me she actually wanted to give Warren Beatty an award for the movie Love Affair for 'bringing romance back to the movies.' She was convinced he'd come. The awards were all about who they thought would come to the dinner."

    Love Affair was one of the most poorly reviewed movies of the '90s. Lewis points out that the Beatty business had a history to it as well. In 1991 the organization gave him Best Actor for Bugsy, and relegated Anthony Hopkins to best supporting status for Silence of the Lambs - even though every other awards group put him in the main Best Actor category. This year, the NBR is giving a lifetime achievement award to Steven Spielberg. On the face of it, this would seem a good idea since many of his films - E.T., Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan, among them - are classics. But in order to get Spielberg, the group put his flop AI: Artificial Intelligence on its Top Ten list.

    "Basically the group is run by people with a lot of money and no taste," said Lewis. "When the name of the award was changed from the Griffith [named for legendary director D.W. Griffith], I suggested it calling it the Lumiere," he said referring to French brothers Auguste and Louis Lumiere who are credited with inventing cinema in the 1890s. "But Lois had never heard of the Lumiere brothers. I had to give her a Katz's Film encyclopedia."

    Ballon and Rapaport, however, do not like to be challenged by members and tend to run the NBR as a cult-like group. One former member, Nicki Goldstein, claims she was kicked off the board last year after she crossed Rapaport.

    "I asked for press notes at a screening," said Goldstein, whose tenure did not overlap with Lewis, whom she doesn't know. "They screamed at me and said board members didn't get press notes. It was petty and mindless. But they sent me a letter rescinding my membership without telling me what I did wrong. I sent a letter of apology and it didn't help. They're very cliquish."

    Goldstein says the voting members of the group represent maybe 20 percent of the eventual decision about who wins what category. She agrees that Ballon et al pick winners based on who they think will come to the annual dinner.

    "It's ridiculous and meaningless," said Goldstein, who has long been a television producer and is a past president of the New York Television Academy. "I thought my votes counted," she said. "But the [process] is very political. They liked to spread around the winners and 'honor' everyone. Every studio is covered. That way they build attendance at the dinner. This year they gave Spielberg an award to sell tickets and so they could say DreamWorks got something. "When I heard their list of winners this year," she continued, "I laughed."

    Goldstein said that Ballon, Rapaport and Policastro run "a mean spirited group. Lois, Carol and Bob have a franchise that fulfills their needs. I'm glad I'm not with them anymore." Policastro was unavailable for comment. Ballon and Rapaport declined to comment.

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