Virgin Report (1971), or Jungfraureport, is a German world of sex genre film directed by Jess Franco. Had it been made a few years earlier, it would have probably been called Mondo Virgins. This films were thinly disguised as a study of some aspect of sexuality to get lots of nudity and a little sex by the censors. In this case, they book-end the film in a disco, showing that modern girls are not virgins, and are proud of that fact, then look at the superstitions and rituals throughout history and in many cultures regarding loss of virginity. Episodes include Adam and Eve, an American Indian woman deflowering herself on a ritual tree branch, several cultures were the religious of political leader deflowers all of the virgins, and several where the women deflower themselves in some prescribed fashion. My favorite example of the do it yourself variety involves smoking the woman's pussy with smoldering herbs until she is so aroused she can't stop from inserting the ritual fetish into her vagina.

Lots of women show everything, but only one of them, Diane Winter, has so far been tied to a character. The other women, all labeled unknown for the moment, include Ingrid Steinbach, Eva Garden, Christine Werner and Christina von Blanc. Perhaps one of our European readers will recognize some of them. IMDB has this at 3.3 based on 9 votes. Given the genre, the fact that it was directed by someone who knew what he was doing, and the quantity of well lit nudity, this is a C+, with the caveat that, while this is a very attractive "World of..." film, it is no longer remarkable for its nude content, and the plots never were to be taken seriously in these.

Some second looks at films I've discussed before, because they are now on commercial DVDs.

Bad Boys 2 (2003)

Terrific DVD - beautiful transfer, two disks worth of material. Movie is so-so.

• Jessica Karr (1, 2, 3)

• Gabrielle Union (not nude, but gorgeous)

• Comments on the movie

Confidence (2003)

A terrific genre film. If you like sting movies, it's a must-see. If you don't especially like grifting, take a pass, because that's just about all there is.

Also a good DVD. Good looking transfer, and every one of the pics below is from the deleted scenes.

• Rachel Weisz (damn, she came close to falling out of that top) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

• Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

• Comments on the movie

Gigli (2003)

What more is there to say? Not really the worst movie ever made, by a long shot, but pretty goddamned bad. Some of the worst dialogue ever spoken. Not such a good DVD. The transfer is quite good, and the film looked pretty slick and professional to begin with, but there are no features of importance, and the movie is ... well, it's Gigli!

• J-Lo (no nudity) (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Lainie Kazan (Lainie Fuckin' Kazan???)

• Comments on the movie

OTHER CRAP:

• A woman with a very strong ass. The only man who can take her from behind is Artie, the strongest man IN THE WORLD.
• Madonna's 1992 book - Sex
• SULTRY, topless, Lorena reveals a pair of the biggest hits in Spain - David Beckham undies.
• Abercrombie Turns Out the Lights Forever on their Racy Catalog
• Astronomers have pinpointed the exact spot where one of the modern world's most dramatic paintings was conceived.
• Harry Knowles holds his annual birthday bash. For five years in a row he has used Austin's Alamo Drafthouse Theater to show 24 consecutive hours of films to a modest crowd of 230 people who pay a modest $4 per film to attend. Knowles did the same this year - except with some celebrity embellishments. Mel Friggin' Gibson showed up personally with his Jesus movie, and Peter Jackson made an appearance to screen a little film he likes to call The Return of the King.
• 2003 Fantasy Festival in Key West. Lotsa nudity.
• Bill Murray says he doesn't want an Oscar.
• Twins lose Eddie Guardado to the Mariners.
• The top 10 songs stuck in people's heads.
• Paris Hilton's troubled youth. Once, when she ran away, she called for a limo!
• NFL Power Rankings: the Eagles make it to #2.
• Ranking the Bowls: must see or must flee.
• The real story behind Peter Jackson and "The Hobbit".
• Here is the trailer for Paycheck (Latest Philip K Dick story to become a film.) Directed by John Woo.
• A British businessman intends leading 5,000 archers to a second battle of Agincourt in an attempt to defeat plans for a wind farm at the historic site in France.
• I'll bet you didn't know the REAL director of Smokey and The Bandit. Check out this page.
• Joe Lieberman Admits To Being Part Muppet
• The T & A Gentleman's Car Wash is open for business.
• Oprah won't go on Letterman. Why - "I was sort of like the butt of his jokes". I guess the concept of a comedy show is a difficult one for her.
• Federica Fontana 2004 Calendar
• Randy Ingerman 2004 Calendar
• Adriana Volpe 2004 Calendar
• Rossella Brescia 2004 Calendar
• Nina Moric 2004 Calendar
• HandzOff Antimasturbatory Gum
• We can implant entirely false memories.
• URL says it all: BarBitches.com
• Extreme Ironing
• Magazine Reviews - Gateway To Eden looks at all the men's mags each month and reviews their content.
• Curtis Hanson’s next movie, Starring Cameron Diaz, Looking to Cast Supporting Roles
• Les Filles de l'enfer - Scream Queen - Vamps of the hell The women of horror films
• Reel Classics, the Internet's most comprehensive site dedicated exclusively to Classic Movies. Comprising over 2400 pages and more than 3 gigabytes of content. Completely free.
• Susan Bucklinie stark naked - she's the girl who is eaten by the shark while skinny dipping in the opening scene of Jaws
• The Mayfair files - a project to build a complete archive of all the Mayfair girls - FREE!
• Ozzy Osbourne broke his collarbone, eight ribs and a vertebra in his neck, all as a result of crashing an ATV.
• Criticism may lead to lingerie-free Lingerie Bowl game: Chrysler Corp. executives are trying to distance themselves from sponsorship of a pay-per-view football game between lingerie-clad models during halftime of the Super Bowl. {cough} blowjob {cough}
• Pensioners catch the gaming bug - photoshop contest
• A picture of Elaine Davidson of Brazil, who holds the Guinness world record for being the woman with the greatest number of body piercings, 1,903. I'll bet Joan Collins has been pierced more than that. Although not in different places.
• Liv Tyler says her rock star dad fell asleep while watching her in the final part of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
• My first motorcycle (video).
• Remote control car jumps over a house. Impressive!
• How the Grinch Stole Florida
• Belly dancers for the homeless.
• Christmas shoppers at the Virgin Megastore in London's Oxford Street have been met by a team of Sexy Santa personal shoppers.
• A courier tried to destroy $400,000 worth of paintings destined to be the centrepiece of an art exhibition, after mistaking them for pornography. (With pictures)
• Best photos of the past year.
• The Star Wars Holiday Special, a TV offering that originally aired on November 17, 1978.
• President Bush's Address to the National Religious Broadcasters Association.  For those of you who care, georgewbush.com is a serious site dedicated to Bush/Cheney '04. The guys who created that site did not protect themselves by reserving the .org version of the domain, so some wiseacres helped themselves to georgewbush.org, and made a lampoon site which looks very similar to the .com version.
• 50 Pick-up lines that will work with punk chicks.
• Project_ISM is a public self expression forum in which women present themselves as they would like to be seen, naked.
• Alba needed a power cocktail to get in the spirit of her dance in 'Honey'
• Casey Casem to step down after 147 years as host of American Top 40.. He originally hosted the show before radio was invented, by standing on a street corner and declaiming the top forty to "ye passersbye". Of course, in those days, the top songs were mostly whaling chanties.
• Billy Goat, the tavern beneath Michigan Avenue made famous by the 'cheezborger, cheezborger' skits on 'Saturday Night Live' in the late 1970s, sued Cheeburger Cheeburger Restaurants Inc. on Monday for trademark infringement.
• Yahoo's pictures of the year - X-Tina performing in Edinburgh
• :: LANA LANDIS - AMERICAs No.1 PIN-UP. Beautifully designed web site.
• Pink was on acid when she worked at McDonald's. And I think she may have eaten a few of those fries as well.
• A confidential investigation by Los Angeles police and child welfare officials concluded earlier this year that allegations Michael Jackson sexually abused a cancer-stricken boy were 'unfounded,' according to an internal government memo obtained by The Smoking Gun. Note: the case workers can also offer a verdict of "substantiated", which means "the evidence supports the charges"; or "unsubstantiated", which means "not enough evidence to conclude". They chose to call it "unfounded", which means roughly the same as "bullshit".
• Boy, obsessed with American Pie, keeps having sex with family dessert.
• Variety.com now has a weblog covering porn - The Porning Report
• Kevin Smith says 'I'm a Sellout!'
• MUM-TO-BE Gwyneth Paltrow and rocker Chris Martin are married. The article (British tabloid) says they had a ten minute quickie in front of a judge. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that doesn't mean the same thing in England that it would mean in the USA. Either that, or I wanna be a British judge real bad.
• In-depth review of A Family Circus Christmas!
• Rush Limbaugh's prescriptions, from The Smoking Gun
• Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"A Boy and His Dog"
This 1975 Sci-Fi classic, maybe one of the best ever, stars a very young Don Johnson as a teenager in post-WWIV 2024, who telepathically communicates with his dog as they scavenge for food and sex in a destroyed world.

Based on an award-winning Harlan Ellison short story, you won't find a much better Sci-Fi movie than this. And yaknow, it could STILL happen.

• Susanne Benton

Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell
(1, 2, 3, 4)

Joanna Going
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)