Al Gore department.

I've been quiet on the US primaries, but I can't pass this one up. Leslie Stahl revealed on "60 Minutes" that Al Gore knows how to hypnotize chickens by slowly waving a pencil in their faces until they fall asleep.

And then Clinton fucks 'em

Actually, this is pretty much the same effect Gore has on all living things. The pencil thing was just a coincidence. He was simply explaining his last book to the nearby farmers, who fell asleep as well.

Gore taught Clinton the trick, but he had to keep correcting him - "use it on chickens, Bill, not chicks"




The new poll question is: "What was the best filmed drama of the 90's"?Here's the link Vote away. Comments and whining to

The last poll was "what is the best sex scene in a mainstream picture?" Here are the eight movies that received more than 25 votes:

  • 8. Nicholson and Lange in "The Postman Always Rings Twice". I still have no idea what the title means. Here is the scene that was voted in (the table top passion). Here is one more scene. Here is her topless scene Here is the brief glimpse of her pubes.
  • 7. DeMornay and Cruise. "Risky Business". This is the major nudity in that movie. (1,2, 3,4).
  • 6. (tied) Gershon and Tilly, "Bound". (1,2,3)
  • 6. (tied) Heche and Chen, "The Wild Side". (1,2)
  • 4. Turner and Hurt, "Body Heat". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • 3. Basinger and Rourke, "Body Heat". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • 2. Stone and Douglas, "Basic Instinct". (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • 1. "Wild Things". (1, 2) Members: In honor of its first place finish, I just did a new series of captures from "Wild Things", appearing now in the members' version. Click here to sign up, get info, or log in

    More movie stuff

    Oscar buzz: this is the preliminary buzz on this year's Oscars, in the new Rolling Stone:

    Best Picture: American Beauty, The Sixth Sense, The Green Mile, Angela's Ashes, The Straight Story. Sixth Sense is the current favorite. Others like Malkovich, Three Kings, and Fight Club are considered to be too far from the academy's chosen path. I would probably include Malkovich and the South Park movie if I had a say in it. Angela's Ashes is the usual token arty nominee.

    Best Actor: Richard Farnsworth is considered the preliminary favorite for his geezer on the grasscutter routine. Other likely nominees: Spacey, Denzel (The Hurricane), Jim Carrey as Andy, Russell Crowe in The Insider. I like Richard Farnsworth. I don't know if this is the right choice or not. He is a completely limited guy - not really an actor at all. He always brings Richard Farnsworth on the screen. But, damn, is he a great screen presence! With only a few words or even no words at all, he can show you the depths of compassion, understanding, and an infinitely measured and sensible view of the world. You wish your dad could approach and understand the world the way Farnsworth seems to. He's nearly 80, and won't get many more chances, and he's well loved by all, so this may be the one for him. Too bad they choose only one. By the way, I wonder if Carrey is really that good in the Kaufman movie. I sure miss Andy. The name of this page was stolen from a rarely seen Kaufman TV special "Uncle Andy's Fun House". Hard to believe he's been gone 15 years now.

    Best Actress: Bening, Foster (Anna and the Frigging King), McTeer (Tumbleweeds), Judd (Double Jeopardy), Swank (Boys Don't Cry)

The Gist and Lawdog

Members' bonuses. Wild Things.

Not a lot of chit-chat required about Wild Things. You chose it as the best sex scene ever, and I pick it as the best action/entertainment movie of the 90's (what I call "junk movies" designed only to entertain and not to touch the depth of our souls like "Shawshank"), beating out The Matrix, The Fifth Element, Face/Off, Men in Black, Pulp Fiction, and any others I can think of. One of my all-time faves in this category, behind Raiders and the first two Star Wars pics, but not behind many others.

Members' bonuses

One Fish, Two Fish
Part 2 of "Private Resort". Tuna writes "Private Resort may be the most underrated movie at IMDb. Although the average is over 5, the weighted formula results in a 3.4. Leonard Maltin calls it a bomb. So much for the critics. This is a simple teen exploitation comedy, and possibly the best ever made. It has a lot of physical humor, including a scene where ab over-zealous house detective repels a dog attack by snapping them with a (used) condom. The story is about two teenage boys (Johnny Depp in his second movie, Rob Morrow in his first) staying at an exclusive private resort for the weekend. Depp wants to get laid, Morrow wants to find true love. Neither counts on jewel thieves, house detectives and various other misadventures. Plenty of nudity, which may help to account for the low rating at IMDb."

Vickie Benson. Vickie Benson. Leslie Easterbrook. (She's the Police Academy babe) Leslie Easterbrook.

Blinky has an assortment today.

Carrie Salmon Amy Wesson Tchekova Audrey Marnay, Veronica Renault (#1, #2) Veronica Blume (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)

From the last copy at FNAC bookstore in Brussels of the book Avril, Mai, Juin by Jean-François Jonvelle, more nude photos of Tina Sportolaro. (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)

Yesterday: Katie. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)

The Sun also runs a "Page Three Gold", a babe of yesteryear. This is Jayne Marconi from 30 November 1990

Finally, some older galleries

Lisa Nicola Jodie Tracey Rebekah (#1, #2, #3)

PLUS Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from the wholesome girls of Page Three and Playboy Newsstand Specials. Today he has hardcore with Claire Peckham, who has appeared in Page Three, and is also an alumna of Playboy Newsstand specials.

(#1, #2)



Members' bonuses. Deep Blue Sea.

Came out on DVD yesterday. No nudity, but some nice underwear shots from Saffron Burrows.

Y'know, it's really dumb, but it isn't such a bad watch. It is stylishly directed, the cutting and editing is done very well to maximize the tension of the moments, and the whole thing has a professional high-budget look, and some scary moments. And it has a good premise: a man has to feel pretty helpless in the water with a 45 foot shark who is 20 times his size and can swim 20 times as fast - and has artificially enhanced intelligence which makes him smarter than most members of the Reform Party.

Like most of you I don't keep track of what scientists are working on these days, but if I had to generate a priority list for government or corporate funds, I'd have to say that genius sharks are very low on my priorities. So if you scientists are out there reading this, create an apple that can feed a family of 12 for a year, or something to neutralize all chemical pollution. Then, after you have done some of these things, then you can work on sharpening up those shark math skills.

The movie has one monumental flaw. Every plot twist, every line of dialogue, all the comic relief, every major development is totally predictable if you watch a lot of movies. Not a real high score for originality, but a good watch if you're in the dorm with nothing to do, and you have a decent buzz on. Although you can predict in general what's going to happen, the movie still manages to surprise you in the moment with a couple of specifics. My favorite moment was the way Samuel L Jackson bites the farm - but I won't spoil it for you.

It does have one really, really silly moment. The shark traps LL Cool J, the cook on the scientific study team, in an oven and uses his nose to spin the dial in order to set the oven to "broil" at 500 degrees. A really smart shark would know that rappers taste best when "baked" at 450.

Members' bonuses

  • UC 99 did a great series on "Showgirl Murders", the highlight of Maria Ford's career as a movie stripper.
  • Maria Ford
  • Maria Ford
  • Maria Ford
  • Maria Ford
  • Maria Ford
  • The next three are Dann collages of vidcaps from The Last Picture Show. Cybill Shepherd
  • Kimberly Hyde
  • Sharon Taggart
  • Lynxx catches Raquel Darrian doing some very naughty things
  • Seven of Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover", from Gimp.
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover"
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover"
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover". This one is quite a good look at her butt.
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover"
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover"
  • Patricia Arquette in "Goodbye, Lover"
  • Click Here!