Mango Kiss (2004) is a lesbian romantic comedy that looks at monogamy and role playing in the San Francisco lesbian community in the early 1990s. It is based on an autobiographical stage play called “Bermuda Triangles: The Non-monogamy Experiment” by the award wining playwright Sarah Brown. The film is bulging with day-glow colorful characters, but focuses on two close school friends who become lovers, adopting a daddy and little girl role, but agreeing at first to see other women. This leads to jealously, and discomfort for each in the assigned roles.

I always enjoy seeing San Francisco in films, and this one was beautifully shot. It has an entertaining sound track, and both leads, Michelle Wolff and Danièle Ferraro showed breasts. There was a good deal of BDSM theme as well. Ferraro's mother was played by Sally Kirkland. So, if this was a beautifully shot lesbian comedy with naked lesbians and lots of colorful characters, why was I so bored? I listened to the commentary, hoping to find out what I had missed. It turns out that I understood the film, but didn't, and still don't "get it." It is possible that this is a film about the gay scene that only gays can relate to. It is currently sitting at 7.6 at IMDb, but with only 15 votes. Calling the genre lesbian films, this is probably a C+.

Closer (2004):

• Natalie Portman. (Zipped .wmvs) (1, 2)

The Door in the Floor (2004)

Review

• Mimi Rogers (another substantial improvement in quality) (1, 2, 3)

Alanis Morissette: We're With The Band (2004)

Pissing on camera? That takes a serious dedication to documentary filmmaking. Alanis definitely has the sincerity to keep her word if she promised that the cameras could go anywhere. I'm not sure why she would do such a thing, or why we would look, but .. well, I looked at her ass ... so I suppose a lot of you will as well. Here she is, peeing in a cup, thanks to Senor Piel..

• Alanis Morissette

Other Crap:

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

Homegrown (1998)

• Natalie Portman. Here we see her on stage doing some pole dancing and showing off some first rate thong views!

A few weeks back Uncle Scoopy spoke the God's honest truth about the joy of finding treasure. When it comes to capping there are a few rich veins of nekkid babe treasure, but none is better than the back issues of the Funhouse. So when I was mucking around look at a few I wasn't surprised to find something. In a 2000 back issue Tuna capped the motherlode of naked space babes in a movie entitled, Space Thing (1968). Fine. Lots of gals, a few whose names the producer tell us in a commentary. More fine.

So Tuna caps the beejesus out of this one and brother, let me tell you, it gets my attention. 'Specially when he gets to a gal named Mercy Montello and tells us the producer says she got married to Mickey Rooney, Jr. That would make her name Mercy Rooney. Wait just a durn minute there, pardner. Mercy Rooney was the name of the Hefmate for Dec. 1972. I dig up a few scans of the Hefmate Mercy from the ol' harddrive and Bingo! It's her. Got that disk from Something Weird Video and fellas,here ya go. Sixteen collages of Mercy Rooney nee Montello, thirteen of this zaftig babe with amazimg mams, Carla Peterson and a few of three uncredited gals. Took me forever to finish.

About the movie. Well, in Ball Four, Jim Bouton writes about a woman so homely the guys on the team referred to her as "Joe Torre with tits." This movie is Plan 9 with tits. And bum, lots of it. And some bush. Plot is so stupid, it comes all the way around and borders on genius. Camera either shoots the gals from a mile away or from 4 inches away. Acting is funny, but not intentionally so. And the props. You just gotta see the props. The producer claims the whole thing cost him $18 K to make and I can't see where he spent it all. If you like one of two things: 1) really, really bad movies; 2) lots and lots of nekkid babes, you just have to get this one.

About the exposure:

Carla Peterson plays the captain of an alien ship whose tastes in partners is equal opportunity. She gets nice with two other gals. Or at least she starts out nice with other gals. One of them, Mercy's character, somehow manages to piss her off, so she (Carla) raaches under the bed, pulls out a whip and proceeds to wail tar out of Mercy. Not to worry, however. It's so ridiculous you can't help but laugh and, mirabile dictu, Mercy is perfectly healed 10 minutes later. And Carla starts to do the hero of the movie. And she spends about ten minutes taking off her clothes and just standing around a lot. Gal has a gravity-defying frame even though it's all 100% carbon-based.

• Carla Peterson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

The Mercy Rooney caps are all over the place. She undresses, she starts to do one guy. She starts to do Carla until something happens and all hell breaks loose. Then she gets undressed again, lols around in the desert nekkid a lot and... Well, there's just a lot of Mercy's face and her bod, especially her killer bum, even some furry bits. A 3-B performance. One note: in the scene where Carla brings out the whip, strawberry jam was used to feign damage to Mercy's back. I selected frames from the BEFORE part of the scene or frames that hid the strawberry jam in the DURING part of the scene. Nothing at all attractive about a woman in pain. Least not to my eyes. If it's your cup of tea you'll have to get this puppy yourself.

• Mercy Rooney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

Then there are three unknowns.

Problem here is the producer gave the gals funny names in the credits (written, by the way, on the body of unknown #2). So Mercy Rooney nee Montello is credited as Mercy Mee. Carla and Mercy he could remember but these three women he could not.

First one is a small brunette, cute as the dickens with a form as attractive as her face. My favorite of all the cast members.

• Unknown #1

Second one is a blonde. Tuna credited her as Marsha Jordan, but the producer was clear about the fact he didn't remember her name. Caps of Marsha in the back issues of the Funhouse also make it obvious she was a lot better endowed, but without the aid of silicone.

• Unknown #2 (1, 2)

Third one plays the hero's wife. I don't want to have to explain this. It's just so laughable you'll have to see it to believe it. Anyway, this gal has very hard facial features and what look to be a pair of robohooters. I grabbed the frames that were most flattering to her.

• Unknown #3

Well, that's it boys and girls. A movie for the ages. I bought it, I watched, I spent a week doing the caps and I am glad I did. 'Nuff said.

Scoop, it's a "Damsel in Distress" day as we take a look at the 1994 Women In Prison flick, "Caged Heat 2:Stripped of Freedom".

The same plot as every other "Babes Behind Bars" movie, but it does have the lovely Jewel Shepard topless as she receives a whipping.

• Jewel Shepard (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

"Grande École"
I don't mean to sound shallow, but French filmmakers should stick to doing what they do best: getting people naked and showing lots of sexy scenes, while also including a good story. Romance and Secret Things are two great examples of that. This 2004 drama isn't.

Heavy with social commentary, but light on "the good stuff", Grande École tells of Paul, a rich and attractive son of a Marseilles contractor, who is raised to be smart, but also taught to be racist (against Arabs), and to look down on blue-collar working types and the poor. Sent to college, he quickly rejects his father's values and takes up with several liberal students of all races.

As Paul becomes involved with a young woman and develops a homosexual affair with an Arabian construction worker, his girlfriend suggests she and Paul compete to seduce another man whom he is attracted to. If she wins, he'll give up all homosexual tendencies. If he wins, she'll leave and never look back.

Although the plot has it's moments, and there is a little nudity, the pace slows to the point of boredom, and while there are great social lessons in the film, it struggles to hold the interest of the viewer.

• Alice Taglioni

"Curtains" (1983)
Misfired Canadian horror starring Funhouse favorite John "Dean Wormer" Vernon. The movie had many production glitches:

(i) Shooting began in 1980. The director left halfway through the production and many scenes had to be re-shot the following year. There are two separate crews listed in the credits.

(ii) French-Canadian actress Celine Lomez was fired and replaced by Linda Thorson. A producer said that she couldn't act or speak English. Another version said she was fired because she refused to do frontal nudity.

(iii) A then unknown Shannon Tweed was cast as a body double and showed up on the set wearing nose bandages from a recent nosejob.

(iv) A skate double showed up in the producer's office wearing a parka wearing only panties underneath.

For the full interview, click here

Nudity breakdown:

• Samantha Eggar: teddy.
• Anne Ditchburn: nipple pokies in ballerina outfit.
• Deborah Burgess: panties and bra-less, getting ravaged,
• Lesleh Donaldson: bra-less after casting couch session.
• Sandra Warren: partial boob.
• Shannon Tweed: stunt booby.

Counterstike: season three

• Sonja Smits: nightgown in episode "Betrayed".
• lingerie models: bra and granny panties in episode "Betrayed".
• Cali Timmins: bra and granny panties in episode "The Hit".

Kath & Kim: episode Money
Outrageous Australian comedy about a bunch of surbanite hussies.

• Gina Riley: modeling lingerie and showing her wallabee in Sharon Stone shot. Then major butt cleavage.
• Jane Turner: cougar country.

Rescue Me: episode Immortal
Dennis Leary does some more widowbanging.

• Callie Thorne: four changes of lingerie and a boob covered with whipping cream.

"Dumb and Dumber"
In Dumb and Dumber we see a bit more of Lauren Holly than usual. She flashes a bit of butt. She could be wearing a thong but I like to think otherwise.

• Lauren Holly (1, 2)

"Still of the Night"
There's more butt in Still of the Night. It is supposed to be Meryl Streep but it could be a body double. The other nice caps are definitely of Meryl.

• Meryl Streep in #1, possible body double in link #2 (1, 2)

"Modern Problems"
Patti D'Arbanville gives a brief nipple flash in Modern Problems.

• Patti D'Arbanville

"About Adam"
Another nipple flash in About Adam but this time by Kate Hudson. Charlotte Bradley and Frances O'Connor are down to their underwear as they have sex with their clothes on.

• Kate Hudson (1, 2, 3)
• Charlotte Bradley (1, 2)
• Frances O'Connor

"Waking Up in Reno"
No nudity in Waking Up in Reno but Charlize Theron, Natasha Richardson and Penelope Cruz look delectable.

• Charlize Theron (1, 2, 3)
• Natasha Richardson (1, 2, 3)
• Penelope Cruz

"The Browning Version"
Likewise, Greta Scacchi looks nice in The Browning Version.

• Greta Scacchi