Other ways to say "He's a little slow"
  • a few clowns shy of a circus
  • got a few splinters in the Windmills of his Mind
  • a few fries short of a happy meal
  • the wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead
  • the butter slid off his pancakes
  • couldn't spell IOU if you spotted him the vowels
  • no thread in his sewing machine
  • one fruit loop shy of a full bowl
  • his antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
  • his belt misses a few loops
  • his receiver is off the hook
  • got a leaky skylight
  • the gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train ain't coming

"Happy Birthday, Danny"

If you have been reading the page faithfully, you know that it is always my dad's birthday. He carries 365 ID's so he can always eat free at Denny's. But today it really is his birthday. Happy 78th, dad.

If you aren't aware of the legend of my dad, Danny "Suits" Sparrow, the world's greatest athlete, here is a link to acquaint you with some of his best stories.

One Fish, Two Fish
Tuna finishes off "Different Strokes, the movie".

Dana Plato Landon Hall (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5)

Blinky has Carolyn Murphy again today, and almost every one is a virtual topless.

(#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8)

Members' bonuses. Realist Returns.

These are the first captures Realist has done in many months. I'm glad to see him return, don't get me wrong, since he knows how to create achingly beautiful images. Except for one thing. I kinda thought I was getting the hang of vidcapping until I saw his. For you new guys, Realist was once my associate on the site, doing captures and occasionally filling in on the Fun House. He gave up his promising porno career for some silly academic stuff. Some guys have strange priorities.

I really don't know that much about this movie. I know the general idea, but I've never actually seen it, so I'll let the captures speak for themselves. Helena Bonham Carter in "The Wings of the Dove". The first one presents an especially graphic camera angle up her privates.

Members' bonuses


Quite an assortment. Snowblind's comments

"Here's the latest harvest. Anna Massey - Frenzy Barbara Leigh Hunt - Frenzy I beleive both she and Massey used body doubles, if you watch the film (which I do not recomend) you will see the obvious avoided pans, and cut aways. Uncredited actress in Frenzy. Camille Keaton. The Concrete Jungle. Has Camille ever been in a film where she wasn't a rape victim? Tracy Bregman - The Concrete Jungle Valerie Whittington - The Missionary Tammy Lynn Sytch - ECW on TNN from last night"

Yesterday's girl:

Jodie. (#1 , #2 , #3 , #4)

The Sun also ran a "Page Three Gold" a babe of yesteryear. This is the legendary Samantha Fox, from September 3, 1986

Finally, some older galleries

Maria (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7) Nikki (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5) Katie (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7)

PLUS Fred, or as he is known in the ancient Elventongue "Frodo", specializes in "outing" the harder action from the wholesome girls of Page Three and Playboy Newsstand Specials. Today he has Kelley Manon and her Cuban. No, it's not the kind of Cuban with a frilly shirt and some conga drums. It's the kind Monica Lewinsky flavored for Big Bill.

(#1, #2, #3)

FR Three more collages of Rachel Blanchard, embikinied in "Clueless". (#1, #2, #3)
  • Lucy Liu in "City of Industry"
  • Mimi Craven in "Dogwatch"
  • Sarah-Laure Estragnat in "La Rage au Coeur"
  • Shari Eckert in "Kissing a Dream"

  • more
  • The Fake Detective's ruling on Love Hewitt's nipple exposure.
  • Isabel Glaser in "The Surgeon"
  • Kyra Sedgewick in "Pyrates" (Rookie)
  • Kate Vernon in "Dangerous Touch" (UC99)
  • Kate Vernon in "Dangerous Touch" (UC99)
  • Click Here!