Tuesday

The Hitchhiker, Volume 3

The Hitchhiker was one of HBO's earlier attempts at original series programming. It began in late 1983 with a mere trickle of three episodes, but the producers really started taking it seriously a year later, in the 1984-85 season. The frequency of new episodes varied throughout the show's run. Sometimes there was a fresh episode every two weeks, and at one other point they were experimenting with a new one every week, followed by a dark period of reruns and production time.  Sometimes production was dark for a long period. The longest hiatus was almost two years, from May 1987 until April 1989, so there were no new episodes aired at all in calendar 1988, but the show experienced a strong revival in 1989, when a full slate of 26 new episodes was aired. They were still producing a small number of episodes as late as 1991. Here is the episode count by season.

Season Dates # Episodes
1 Late 1983 3
2 November 1984- April 1985 10
3 October 1985 - April 1986 13
4 February 1987 - May 1987 13
5 April 1989 - December 1989 26
6 September 1990 - February 1991 20

In concept it was similar to the old Alfred Hitchcock TV series, except that it was in color and R-rated. Hitchcock was replaced by some young hunky guy, but the general narrative concept remained the same - the host would say a few omniscient words at the beginning and end of each episode, and the stories usually involved murder and/or the macabre. Even the name was an homage to "Hitch." The HITCHhiker. Get it?

There have been three volumes issued on DVD and there are ten episodes on each volume. The existing anthologies therefore present 30 of the 85 total episodes. I don't know what logic was used to determine which episodes were chosen for which anthology, but they don't really seem to be in any kind of order.  Although this is the third disk, it is the first one to include any episodes from among the original 13 aired in seasons one and two. It includes episodes 9 and 11, and both have excellent nudity, a feature which would be noticeably absent in later episodes.

The following chart summaries the episodes on this volume. The episode numbers and air dates are taken from tv.com.

Episode Name # Air Date Nudity
Man at the Window 11 3/12/85 Penelope Milford (breasts) and Michael Madsen (bum). This episode contains the only really good nudity on this disk
Dead Man's Curve 21 2/11/86 Susan Anspach (bum)
Made for Each Other 35 4/14/87  
Joker 36 4/21/87  
Videodate 9 2/16/85 Linda Smith (one nipple), and Shannon Tweed (breasts)
Best Shot 37 4/28/87 Michelle Moffatt - breast in grainy vidcam footage.
My Enemy 63 11/25/89  
Tough Guys Don't Whine 67 9/28/90  
Riding the Nightmare 68 10/5/90  
The Cruelest Cut 61 11/18/89  

 

Michael Madsen's nudity was the only male flesh on display in any episode, thereby assuring that Michael and Virginia would provide the only brother/sister nudity. Among the thirty episodes on DVD, there is absolutely no nudity at all from any episode numbered higher than 37 although the series consisted of 85 episodes! The later episodes, like the ones numbered in the sixties above, have lots of irritating teases - strategic cutaways, fully clothed sex scenes, etc. It seems that there was a deliberate move away from nudity after the Reagan years.  Even Joan Severance stayed clothed!

Here is the nudity summary for this disk, which is the weakest of the three.

Penelope Milford (Episode 11)    

 

(Zipped .wmv)

 

Susan Anspach (Episode 21)    

 

(Zipped .wmv)

 

Linda Smith (Episode 9)    

 

(Zipped .wmv)

 

Shannon Tweed (Episode 9)    

 

(Zipped .wmv)

 

Michelle Moffett (Episode 37)    

 

(Zipped .wmv)

 

 

 

 

Third Party Videos: 

Here are LC's videos for Masters of Horror, S2, E6.  His collages can be found in yesterday's edition. Ellen Ewusie and Melissa Gonzalez are the actresses. There are five clips, and they are combined into one zipped file.

 

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

The Pop Culture Palace is updated again, with songs #15-#11 from 1957.
 

Another treasure trove for old-time rock buffs. There are a few names you may recognize: Elvis, Jerry Lee, Little Richard, Buddy Holly, The Everlys

 

Reason #8 for the Pam/Kid break-up is named Conchita.

 

Britney buys a pair of underpants!

 

The 50 Greatest Commercials of the 1980s - all with videos!
 

A pre-Seinfeld Jason Alexander stars in an ad for the most environmentally harmful sandwich ever, the extra-styrofoam McDLT, complete with singing and dancing: Could be the best lettuce and tomato hamburger ever!

 

Pujols wants to apologize to Howard over MVP remarks
 

Howard got 20 first-place votes for MVP and 388 points in balloting by a panel of the Baseball Writers' Association of America. Pujols received 12 first-place votes and 347 points.

 

Hamlet, as performed by The Simpsons
 

Bart is Prince Hamlet in this Simpsons version of William Shakespeare's classic. His uncle Claudius (Moe) marries Gertrude (Marge) after killing King Hamlet (Homer) by way of poison. The King returns to his son, telling him of the betrayal and requesting that his death be avenged.

 

Gutenberg!, Poking Musicals in the Eye, Opens in NYC
 

The sound you hear on East 59th Street may be howls of laughter from show fans who appreciate the comic musical's skewering of musical theatre conventions — to say nothing of spoofing lame-brained tunesmiths who haven't a clue what a good musical is.

 

CBS extends "Late Show" contract with Letterman to 2010.
 

Letterman, who began his network TV career on NBC, marked his 13th anniversary as host the "Late Show" on Aug. 30 of this year and will celebrate 25 years in late-night comedy this coming February.

 

Flushed Away and Cars race off with most Annie nominations
 

The movies Flushed Away and Cars have garnered nine nominations each for the Annie Awards, topping the list for the U.S. honours that recognize the best in animation.

 

Censorship fears rise as Iran blocks access to top websites
 

The clampdown was ordered by senior judiciary officials in the latest phase of a campaign that has seen high-speed broadband facilities banned in an attempt to impede "corrupting" foreign films and music.

 

It is a sad day for the celebrity nudity community. Desperado has mended his last fence.
 

In our cloistered world, there was nobody more gregarious, generous, and fun-loving than John "Desperado" Moritz of "Desperado's Megalinks" (desperado.graphicsnxs.com). He was perhaps our best ambassador to the outside world. He was only 59.

 

A Chinese coal mine is claiming a world record for the highest number of simultaneous weddings held underground.
 

"Marrying the man I love in his workplace is really meaningful to me," one of the brides, 22, was quoted as saying.

 

Spears' first marriage focus of new book
 

Jason Allen Alexander, first husband of Britney Spears, is detailing all the intimate details of his 55-hour marriage to the U.S. pop singer in a new book. Alexander, who married the "Toxic" singer at a Las Vegas ceremony in 2004, reportedly is writing a tell-all book about the nearly three days he spent married to Spears before the marriage was eventually annulled, US Weekly said. The 25-year-old admitted that the book, which he claims Spears knows about, also will include details of their sex life.

 

Exclusive Apocalypto TV Spot from ComingSoon
 

Apocalypto is a heart stopping mythic action-adventure set against the turbulent end times of the once great Mayan civilization. When his idyllic existence is brutally disrupted by a violent invading force, a man is taken on a perilous journey to a world ruled by fear and oppression where a harrowing end awaits him. Through a twist of fate and spurred by the power of his love for his woman and his family he will make a desperate break to return home and ultimately to save his way of life.

 

Vatican Employees Unable To Relax At Holiday Party With Pope Around
 

Bernardin was about to bust out his St. Bridget impression, which is just spot on, but then the pope walked over and we quickly changed the subject to the sacred presence of the Holy Spirit during transubstantiation.

 

Bush gives al-Maliki the "Brownie" treatment.
 

In a meeting with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki today, President George W. Bush reportedly told him that he had his "full support" and that he was doing "a heckuva job."

 

Turistas, as reviewed by the only true genius of film criticism, The Filthy Critic
 

There are a hell of a lot of things that Turistas could use more of: original ideas, characters who aren't assholes and coherence. Most of all, though, it could use more tits. Good fucking God, how do you make such a generic exploitation slasher movie on a party beach in Brazil without at least letting us wash down the dogshit with a healthy load of boobs? You do get to see a couple sets of boobs, briefly, in the beginning, and one more set stiffly sitting on the chest of a dead girl toward the end. To me, dead girl nipples don't count, though, even if she's really just acting dead. Watching this movie is like going to a Hooter's and getting a male waiter.

 

The Top 7 seven reasons Pam Anderson and Kid Rock are divorcing.

 

Sports oddities: Texans win with negative passing yardage.
 

The Texans had a pathetic 124 yards of total offense. They lost two fumbles. They converted 2 out 12 third downs. And they won! Man, the Raiders have to be feelin' mighty good about that loss.

 

 

Probably unrelated stories: Barry Bonds will play next year unless hit by a bus. Greyhound stock jumps 44%.
 

The Greatest Slugger of His Time sits home in California, jobless and teamless.
 

"Barry will play next year," his agent, Jeff Borris, told ESPN.com again this weekend, "unless he gets hit by a bus."

 

Bush administration downsized for cartoon satire.
 

The title character is surrounded by close pals like Lil' Cheney, who grumbles unintelligibly, and Lil' Condi, who pines for Lil' Bush and does his homework for him.

 

The intro to the first-ever New Price is Right!

 

Proposed Michigan law makes it illegal to break-up with a pregnant chick
 

The proposal actually makes it a crime for a man to 'change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement' with a pregnant significant other, to 'file or attempt to file for a divorce' from his pregnant wife or to 'withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support' from a woman whom he has been supporting -- if it is determined that the man is doing these things to try to pressure the woman to terminate her pregnancy.The proposal actually makes it a crime for a man to 'change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement' with a pregnant significant other, to 'file or attempt to file for a divorce' from his pregnant wife or to 'withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support' from a woman whom he has been supporting -- if it is determined that the man is doing these things to try to pressure the woman to terminate her pregnancy.The proposal actually makes it a crime for a man to 'change or attempt to change an existing housing or cohabitation arrangement' with a pregnant significant other, to 'file or attempt to file for a divorce' from his pregnant wife or to 'withdraw or attempt to withdraw financial support' from a woman whom he has been supporting -- if it is determined that the man is doing these things to try to pressure the woman to terminate her pregnancy.


 

If you will read that paragraph closely, you'll see that the conditions apply even if the cohabitating male is not the father of the baby!!

 

 

"Enron the Musical" debuts in Houston
 

Enron - the Musical begins with a scene in which Arthur Anderson employees launch a paper-shredding frenzy after an alert from an Enron executive to destroy evidence, while one of the attorneys sings The Sound of Shredding (to the tune of The Sound of Music).

 

Uncyclopedia's list of weapons that don't exist, but should
 

Oscar Wilde himself once said that the only thing worse than being talked about is being killed by a non-existent weapon.

That might be a paraphrase.

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

 

Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (1989)

This is a Paul Bartel movie with an amazing cast, including Mary Waronov, Jacqueline Bisset, Ray Sharkey, Robert Beltran, Ed Begley Jr, Wallace Shawn, Paul Bartel and Paul Mazursky.

Bisset plays an aging, recently-widowed soap queen plotting a comeback. Bartel is her diet doctor. She lives with her daughter, a crazy maid, and a houseboy (Sharkey). Her next door neighbor (Woronov) has just divorced Shawn for cheating, and is having her mansion fumigated to get rid of all traces of him. She normally lives with her gravely ill son and their houseboy (Beltran), but her current entourage includes her playwright brother (Begley) and his new wife (Walker). Woronov and her entourage will be staying with Bisset during the fumigation. Woronow's houseboy is in deep trouble financially with a Chinese gang, and makes a bet with Bisset's houseboy. Each will try to seduce the other's boss. If Beltran wins, Sharkey pays off his debt. If not, Sharkey gets a night of love with Beltran.

Bisset keeps seeing the ghost of her husband, and the maid is constantly muttering incomprehensible non-sequiturs, but it is Arnetia Walker with the most surprises. She is a former porn star, the one Woronov's ex was cheating with, and she also manages to shag the remaining male members of the cast.

IMDb readers say only 5.7, and Ebert was unimpressed at two stars, but many consider this Bartel's best work.  It is certainly more mainstream than most of Bartel's other films, features a stellar cast, and is wickedly funny in parts.

Unfortuinately, I screened a German DVD which is full of color noise and grain, and the English sound track is mushy and faint. I can't imagine why this one is not available in DVD in the US. It's really crying for a good re-mastering and the full Criterion treatment, including commentary from Mary Woronov.

 I will give this a B- as a movie, but do not recommend this particular DVD.

 

We have extended breast exposure from Mary Woronov in one scene ...

 

 

... and Arnetia Walker in several sex scenes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Marebito (2004)

Tomomi Miyashita

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


We return to 1975 for "Frankie and Johnnie...Were Lovers" and even more exposure  from Rene Bond.  (Zipped .wmv)

Then Rene is joined by Cyndee Summers or some more fun in a three-way love fest. We have caps and clips with full frontal nudity.  (Five .wmvs zipped together)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Celebrity Shower series

 

Elizabeth Berridge in Funhouse

 

 

 

Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight

In this excellent action/thriller, Geena Davis plays an amnesiac schoolteacher who discovers that she used to be an assassin. This film ROCKS!

 

 

The Celebrity Stripper series concluded

 

Grace Jones in Vamp

 

...finally my last installment in my "stripper series:" Grace Jones in perfect form as "Katrina" the stripper vampire..

---two thumbs up for this underappreciated vampire/dark comedy...rent it/love it...

 

 

 


 

 

From "L' as des as" , a Belmondo caper-adventure, Marie-France Pisier wet see-thru and sexy.

 

 

Plus bonus : Belmondo & baby bear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Carolina Lizaroza in The First Night

Ingrid Thulin in Visconti's The Damned

 

 

 

Many Americans reacted furiously to a quote from Gwyneth Paltrow in the
Portuguese paper Diario De Noticias, that the British are "much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."  Despite a history of making similar statements, Paltrow quickly issued an apology, declaring that she was "completely misconstrued, and I never, ever would have said that."  She claimed she only lives in England because she's married to an English guy, and she sees herself as an American and "a New York girl."  She said she didn't know where that quote came from, but she did give a press conference in Spain in Spanish, adding, "Obviously, I need to go back to seventh-grade Spanish!"

*  And then she muttered, "Damn it!  Who knew Americans were smart enough to know how to read?!"



The London Sun reports that Fulla Nayak of India claims that she's lived to 120 by smoking cannabis cigars every day and drinking strong palm wine.  She said she doesn't know any other reason why she's lived so long, since most of her relatives died younger, but she's 120 and lives in a hut with her 92-year-old daughter and 72-year-old grandson.

*  If this is true, then Matthew McConaughey could live forever.