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"Sheena" (1984)

Sheena (1984) is based on a comic book of the same name. Think female Tarzan with naked animals, naked women, beautiful scenery, nearly no plot, and no acting. Sheena (Tanya Roberts) is orphaned when her parents are killed trying to rip off the ever popular "sacred healing dirt" from an African tribe. The female shaman from the tribe knows a fulfilled prophesy and a future kick-ass honkey jungle queen when she sees one, and raises Sheena. Sheena learns Dr. Doolittle tricks (talks to the animals), rides a horse painted as a zebra, shoots bow and arrow from a full gallop, and takes naked showers in the local waterfall. All of this prepares her for the big battle.

Famous US place kicker and brother of the king decides to off his brother so he can plunder the "sacred healing dirt" and get rich. A school buddy and sports photographer would rather have sex with Sheena than stay friends with an uppity place kicker, so comes to Sheena's aide.

Roberts shows breasts and buns, France Zobda shows buns and most of breasts on a massage table, and several native dancing women show their breasts. Maltin says BOMB, and the film was nominated for 5 Razzies, including worst picture. Looks great, but is nothing but eye candy. D.

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  • Tanya Roberts (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • France Zobda (1, 2)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    TV SHOW: "Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature" (2001) A surprisingly good made-for-Cinemax cable movie, with a solid cast of Rufus Sewell, Carla Gugino, Gil Bellows, and Rya Kihlstedt. Two carnys are running a scam mermaid act when they find a real mermaid in Ireland. 

    In tone, the movie resembles Dracula and King Kong more than Splash. The con artist decides to transport the mermaid to the USA in her watery equivalent of a coffin. They plan to display her and make the big greenbacks. They make the Atlantic crossing in the requisite creaky windjammer. As was typical in the old-time horror movies, their greed is punished when the mermaid gets free and goes on a killing spree.

    The bad news: Gugino is not nude in her role as the fake mermaid. The good news - Kihlstedt is topless in the role of the real mermaid. These same two women played together in the lurid Jaded, in which Kihlstedt assaulted Gugino, and they were both naked. Gugino got completely naked in that one, back when she was a chubette. Since she got slimmed down, we haven't seen a good exhibition of her goodies.

    • Rya Kihlstedt (1, 2, 3)

    Jabberwocky is the scaled down version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Reduce the number of Pythons to one. (Palin starred and Terry Jones had a cameo) Reduce the number of light bulbs to one, and there you are. Probably Terry Gilliam's worst film, although bad Gilliam, starring Palin, is still not that bad.

    TRIVIA: David Prowse (Darth Vader) plays several of the armor-clad knights. He was inevitably around when they needed a strong guy to wear heavy costumes. He was still donning the Vader outfit at age 48.

    Did you know Terry Gilliam turned 61 last week? Jiminy, how did that happen? Wasn't he just about 40?

    • Deborah Fallender (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Frozen with Fear"
    Bo Derek is showing her age in Frozen with Fear. So much so, I'm sure that most of the nudity is done by a body double. The best we can do is a bit of cleavage.
  • Bo Derek (1, 2, 3)

    "Nowhere Land"
    Dina Meyer is in hiding from some criminals in Nowhere Land. There is a brief view of some mild pokies.

  • Dina Meyer

    "Ash Wednesday"
    Elizabeth Taylor plays a woman undergoing plastic surgery in Ash Wednesday. There is a topless scene where she is being fitted up with some new boobs - definitely a body double.

  • Elizabeth Taylor

    "The Iron Triangle "
    The Iron Triangle is set in Vietnam during the war and looks at it from both sides of the conflict. Illana B'tiste is a South Vietnamese supporter eventually killed by the North Vietnamese.

  • Illana B'tiste

    "Galaxy Quest"
    You see some lovely cleavage by Sigourney Weaver in the sci-fi movie Galaxy Quest.

  • Sigourney Weaver

    "Warlord 3000"
    Warlord 3000 is one of those shocker films set in the future when law and order has broken down. Reminded me of the Mad Max movies. Topless nudity by Denice Marie Duff and some other actresses. You may have been able to work out their names but it wasn't easy, and I wasn't about to sit through the movie again.

  • Denice Marie Duff
  • Others (1, 2)

    "Green Ice"
    Green Ice is set in Mexico and is concerned with the peasant revolutionary conflict there. Tara Fellner is an American helping the peasants and there is the briefest of tit flashes just before her demise. Anne Archer is her sister and there is a bit of pokey action after she takes a quick dip in a pool.

  • Anne Archer
  • Tara Fellner

    "The Babe"
    Kelly McGillis gives the briefest of nips when she turns over in bed in The Babe. It's the life story of Babe Ruth who, I gather, could whack a baseball.

  • Kelly McGillis

    "Gun Shy"
    A bit of a pokey by Sandra Bullock in Gun Shy when she does a bit of gardening in a singlet.

  • Sandra Bullock

    "Hawk's Vengeance"
    Jayne Heitmeyer shows her silicone-filled breasts in Hawk's Vengeance, although the way the scene is filmed indicates that it is probably a body double. There's also an upskirt by Catherine N Blythe.

  • Jayne Heitmeyer (1, 2)
  • Catherine N Blythe

    "Aspen Extreme"
    Not much to see with this dark, side view of Finola Hughes as she steps into the shower in Aspen Extreme.

  • Finola Hughes

    "Understanding Jane"
    Understanding Jane is an English film about two young women and their exploits to pick up men. Louisa Milwood Haigh shows off her breasts and Amelia Curtis almost shows us an upskirt as she tries to seduce someone.

  • Louisa Milwood Haigh
  • Amelia Curtis

    "National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1"
    Naturally, no nudity by Kathy Ireland in National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon, just some nice glamour and an upskirt that doesn't show anything.

  • Kathy Ireland

    "Virtual Sexuality"
    With a title like Virtual Sexuality you'd hope the film would have plenty of the 3 Bs. Unfortunately, the only nudity is some out-of-focus extra. On the plus side, Laura Fraser, Natasha Bell and Marcelle Duprey are very easy on the eye.

  • Laura Fraser
  • Natasha Bell
  • Marcelle Duprey

    "Pitch Black"
    Radha Mitchell fills out a tight-fitting outfit in Pitch Black. Some pokies and cleavage only. There's also an interesting view down her top but I'm not convinced that what you can see is actually what you want to see. A DVD cap is needed.

  • Radha Mitchell

  • Nicnac
    First up...some rare nudity from actresses you've probably heard of (in descending order of recognition).

  • Susan Sarandon, topless and showing just a hint of pubes in her screen debut, "Joe" 1970. The film put Peter Boyle's name on the A-list as well as director John G. Avildsen, who later went on to direct mega-hits like "Rocky" and the "Karate Kid" movies.
  • Sarah Trigger, topless in the good, but extremely slow paced movie "Paradise" staring Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith. Now for the important trivia...She played Joanna (one of the girlfriends) in "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey"! Yes Way!
  • Tuesday Knight topless in scenes from "Cover Story". You may recognize her from "A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master" or "Wes Craven's New Nightmare".

    The rest have all earned the Vault of Obscurity Seal of Indifference. We haven't heard of 'em, and chances are neither have any Fun House readers. But what the heck, they're nude, so enjoy.

    From the movie "Joe"

  • Max Couper, showing all 3 B's. (1, 2, 3)
  • Patty Caton, topless and rear nudity. (1, 2)
  • Francine Middleton, all 3 B's.

    From the movie "Cover Story"

  • Laura Bagby, playing a topless stripper.
  • Marissa Cody, topless in a love scene, and then apparently blowing her brains out.

  • Blackshine
    Another batch from the master of fashion scans.

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  • May Andersen...non-nude, but very sexy. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Maria Carla
  • Unknown, a bit of nipple is visible.
  • Marina Dias, a little breast and bum exposure. (1, 2)
  • Audrey Tchekova (1, 2)
  • Laura Delicata...these are all pretty odd. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Variety
    Harlee McBride

    Mary Forbes

    All kinds of nudity and sex scenes from one of the last, made-for-couples softcore movies to hit the big screen, "Young Lady Chatterley" (1977). Scoop has more details in his review.

    Claire Forlani Showing just a bit of nipple in a scene from "Into My Heart" (1998). It's not much, but Claire nudity is rather rare.

    Claire Forlani
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Speaking of Claire nudity...here's a little something from our friends at www.thetittychannel.com:


    I just revisited and touched up some topless caps I did many, many years ago (My first ever effort). They were from a movie called "Gypsy Eyes" and featured some nudity from the strangely alluring Claire Forlani.

    I've seen many caps of this movie before, but none that contain the briefest of flashes of Claire's bush (link #5). Perhaps it was removed from the US version. It's possible, even likely that it's a body double, but in 1992 for an unknown in a low budget film like this, one would wonder whether the producers would go to such lengths.

    Either way, it's there in the film, I've not seen it capped before and I thought you guys would like to have a look at it and a few other caps to set the mood.

    Not the best quality as they were done on very meager equipment by today's standards, but hopefully this will provide a little inspiration for someone to find a copy of the tape and do it better!

    Jayne Brook Breast exposure behind a frosted shower door, also from "Into My Heart".

    A follow up
    Yesterday I mentioned the Andrew "Dice" Clay and Don "The Dragon" Wilson movie "Whatever it Takes". Well, Scoop reminded me that the bad guy in the movie was Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, possibly making it the only movie with three "parenthesis" stars!

    Not to mention that both Fred "The Hammer" and Don "The Dragon" play Italian guys! (Big Paulie Solano, and Neil DeMarco!)

    This movie is a true gem!

    Celeb News

    >From the NY Post. If you believe Julia Roberts will be doing a nudie movie, then I've got some spread eagle shots of Loni Anderson with an oversized head I'd like to sell you...

    Pat Reeder
    The Comedy Wire

    SOME people think that Miramax chief Harvey Weinstein could charm the birds out of the trees (or scare them away with a few shouted oaths). Whatever, it seems he's talked Julia Roberts out of her clothes for his movie, "Full Frontal," which is about to start shooting. "It's just my little nudie film," Roberts tells the Chicago Sun-Times. It's also her third go-round with director Steven Soderbergh ("Erin Brockovich" and "Ocean's Eleven") and the movie is said to be a sequel to his acclaimed debut feature, "sex, lies and videotape."

    Click Here!