Third Party Videos: 

La Petite Jerusalem

• Elsa Zylberstein (two .avis zipped together)

• Fanny Vallette (two .avis zipped together)

The Hitchhiker, Volume 2

The Hitchhiker was one of HBO's earlier attempts at original series programming. It began in late 1983 with a mere trickle of three episodes, but the producers really started taking it seriously a year later, in the 1984-85 season. The frequency of new episodes varied throughout the show's run. Sometimes there was a fresh episode every two weeks, and at one other point they were experimenting with a new one every week, followed by a dark period of reruns and production time.  Sometimes production was dark for a long period. The longest hiatus was almost two years, from May 1987 until April 1989, so there were no new episodes aired at all in calendar 1988, but the show experienced a strong revival in 1989, which saw a full slate of 26 new episodes aired. They were still producing a small number of episodes as late as 1991. Here is the episode count by season.

Season	Dates	# Episodes
1	Late 1983	3
2	November 1984- April 1985	10
3	October 1985 - April 1986	13
4	February 1987 - May 1987	13
5	April 1989 - December 1989	26
6	September 1990 - February 1991	20

In concept it was similar to the old Alfred Hitchcock TV series, except that it was in color and R-rated. Hitchcock was replaced by some young hunky guy, but the general narrative concept remained the same - the host would say a few omniscient words at the beginning and end of each episode, and the stories usually involved murder and/or the macabre. Even the name was an homage to "Hitch." The HITCHhiker. Get it?

There have been three volumes issued on DVD and there are ten episodes on each volume. The existing anthologies therefore present 30 of the 85 total episodes. I don't know what logic was used to determine which episodes were chosen for which anthology, but they don't really seem to be in any kind of order.  This disk includes episodes as early as October 1985 and as late as February 1991. Like the first volume, this one includes NONE from the first two seasons, but it does include one of the very last ones, A Whole New You (February 1991), which had no nudity.

The following chart summaries the episodes on this volume. The episode numbers and air dates are taken from tv.com.

Episode Name	#	Air Date	Nudity
O.D. Feelin'	20	1/28/86	none
True Believer	23	3/11/86	none
Perfect Order	27	2/17/87	Breasts and brief buns from Virginia Madsen. Even a very brief flash of her crotch. Beautiful images. Also mud-covered topless nudity from two unknowns.
Cabin Fever	39	5/12/87	none
A Whole New You	82	2/1/91	none
Dead Heat	29	3/3/87	Breasts from Denise Galik
The Curse	22	2/25/86	none
Out of the Night	15	10/29/85	Breasts from Desiree Becker
Secret Ingredient	38	5/5/87	none
Man of Her Dreams	25	4/8/86	none

 

 

All of the nudity in the first two volumes has come from episodes 15-34, a very narrow band within the 85 episodes in the series. So far there has been no nudity at all outside that band. I don't know for a fact that they cut back on nudity toward the end of the series, but it surely seems to be the case so far.

Here are the collages and film clips from the three episodes with nudity.

Denise Galik (Episode 29)	(Zipped .wmv)
Virginia Madsen (Episode 27)	(Zipped .wmv)
Unknown (Episode 27)	(Zipped .wmv)
Desiree Becker (Episode 15)	(Zipped .wmv)

 

OTHER CRAP:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Kinky Kong (2006)

Kinky Kong (2006) is a typical Seduction Cinema parody with two important differences. The first is the absence of Misty Mundae. With their lower output of late and Misty appearing in other films, I suspect they have lost their franchise player. They have introduced some new women with this release, and several other films are in the pipeline. The second major difference is that the mass market version of this film is barely an R, but comes with a free offer for the real version for only the price of shipping. By real, I mean the usual one full of simulated lesbian sex. I didn't bother watching the sanitized version.

Porn director Seemore Ass is off to Bone Island to shoot a porno with the great ape, Kinky Kong. At the last minute, his female lead walks, and he has to discover a new star. This takes all of ten minutes, as he finds Sabrina Faire stealing a dildo. After some girl/girl sex on the boat, they land on Bone Island, where we have more girl/girl sex, locate Kinky Kong, subdue him with a major fart, and bring him back to New York, where we have more girl/girl sex, exhibit Kinky Kong, then have Kong escape and try to copulate with the statue of liberty. As you can plainly see, this is a lofty effort.

The lipstick lesbians include Darian Caine, A. J. Kahn, Sabrina Faire, Alexia Moore (who probably chose her last name based on her bust), and Molly Heartbreaker, who has amazing tattoos.

IMDb readers seem to have only seen the soft version. It is currently sitting at 3.4 and with only 14 votes. That may be the correct score anyway. The humor involved bodily fluids and intestinal gas, none of the sex scenes generated any heat, and the story was a throwaway. I am sure the question will be asked if Misty Mundae would have saved the day. In my opinion, no. She is rapidly running out of cute, and her dramatic range is not growing. While she handled the comedy of Lord of the G-Strings, she is far from a master of comedic timing. The cast is fine, and this is what it is, a lowbrow boobfest with lots of simulated lesbian sex. Darian Caine and A. J. Kahn are two of my favorite Seduction Cinema regulars, and the new talent at least makes interesting eye candy. I will give this one a C-. It does have a high boob quotient.

Darian Caine

A.J. Kahn

Sabrina Faire

Alexia Moore

Molly Heartbreaker

Elephant Juice (1999)

This film presents a group of 20-somethings in London who don't have the first idea how to have a relationship. They sort of have the knack of sex but aren't worth a damn at contraception. They all seem to like each other so we get to watch them fall into and out of love, into and out of bed, and all the while they are thinking how hip and modern they are. 

Like its characters, the film is too hip for its own good. The film's narrative line is organized by a set of relationship questions which it tries to answer. It seemed to me that this narrative style prevented the film from building any curve of excitement, climax or catharsis. It was just a wordy portrait of a bunch of people I didn't much like.

Many who commented at IMDb praised the fact that this seemed to tell stories about real people, but the few available reviews are not favorable, and overall it is a relationship movie that even women don't like. IMDb has it at 4.8, with 5.1 from women. Think about that for a moment. To paraphrase Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, "I can't believe women don't like it, they live for that shit."

Technically, it is absolutely excellent, which is the only reason I am awarding a low C-.

I had to go to a German Region 2 DVD for this one, as it doesn't seem to be available anywhere else in the world. 

Kate Gartside

Kimberly Williams

All I need to say is: Monica Bellucci

A great collage of that Bai Ling sequence in Edmond.