Saturday

Third Party Videos: 

  • Beerfest. It didn't perform as well as expected at the box office, but it is rated 6.3 at IMDb, and Tuna quite liked it. It certainly has some nice T&A. If it is as amusing as Tuna says, then the fault of its box office failure lay in the marketing, because this is my kind of movie, and I resolved to skip it after I saw the slapstick, obvious, and totally unfunny trailer.

There are some sample caps below, but you should see Tuna's section for full uncoverage and comments.

Candace Smith (Zipped .avi)
 

Sarah Figoten

(Zipped .avi)
Unknown Actresses (Zipped .avi)

 

 

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

More of "How to profit from the Bald Beaver Brigade" - StopCelebrityCrotchShots.com

 

How to profit from Lohan, Paris, Britney ... CoverACooch.com

 

"The Ninja talks about the origins of Ninja Day and how you can celebrate it."

  • It's something like "talk like a pirate" day, except that you murder people in stealthy and violent ways instead of just talking funny.

 

FIRST TWINS 25th BIRTHDAY: Vacation Update From Family Values Poster Children Jenna and The Other One ... WHITEHOUSE.ORG

 

President Bush Proudly Appoints Dr. Eric Keroack as Deputy Assistant Secretary of Wayward Vagina Containment WHITEHOUSE.ORG

 

70 things you didn't know about James Bond

 

Letterman: Richard Simmons' Exploding Steamer

 

Martin Scorsese is going medieval

 

Olbermann responds to Gingrich's proposal to limit free speech.

  • Olbermann is certainly a pompous and self-important tool, but it's hard to dispute him here. America is the only country in the world in which the right to determine appropriate political speech is determined by the individual, and not by the government. The only one. It is the one thing which makes America unique, and we should, in my opinion, cherish it.

 

What this crazy, troubled world really needs now: a two-headed mime.

 

The road to Oscar - USATODAY.com

  • Synopsis: so far, only three films have any buzz: The Queen, The Departed, and Dreamgirls. Near miss: Wan Wilder 2
  • My opinion: USA Today should also do "The Road to the Razzies"

 

NBC has created a web page for that legendary crime-fighting team, Pale Force

 

Conan reviews the new ad campaign for Pale Force merchandise This is really funny!

 

Lohan's publicist defends sympathy note

  • Being Lohan's publicist is not an easy job, and not one for the faint of heart. Nor the compulsively honest. I want that job.

 

Lindsay Lohan has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, says mom.

  • ... adding that her 20-year-old daughter does not have a drinking problem per se, but is simply attending the meetings as many of her friends do
  • ... possibly to make fun of the losers?

 

The trailer for The Astronaut Farmer

  • Dismissed from NASA's space program, former astronaut-in-training Charles Farmer (Bad Santa) pursues his lifelong dream by building his own rocket in the Polish Brothers' family film 'The Astronaut Farmer.' On the eve of his launch, he must battle foreclosure on his ranch, a small-town community of disbelievers, the FAA, and FBI agents who want to shut him down in the name of Homeland Security – but remains determined to reach his goal and instill in his children the courage to pursue their own dreams, no matter the odds.

 

URL says it all: BillGatesForPresident.net

 

Show your friends Christina Aguilera's sleazy new Christmas album

 

How can this be a real ad? A 5" Black-And-White TV/Radio for five dollars.

  • This is an ad from Office Depot, which is certainly a legit company, but something is wrong there, isn't it? Five dollars? It's gotta be fifty dollars, right? If not, it's a helluva deal. A TV which costs about the same as a pack of cigarettes.

 

WikiHow - the openly editable "how to" manual

  • Stuff like "How to solve Sudoku", "How to Cheat a Polygraph" - and all kinds of crap ranging from whimsical to practical. Sometimes criminal as well.

 

You Know You Are a Marine (Army) Mom (Wife) When

 

The Van Wilder sequel is apparently a total suck-fest: Van Wilder: Rise of the Taj: 0% positive reviews.

  • I was wondering how this even made it to theaters instead of going straight to DVD, but I was too lazy to do any research. As it turns out, every reviewer is now wondering the same thing."

 

Nude woman charged with horse-love

  • If you were around the corner of Teriana and Wilson streets in Lismore on Monday morning, and happened to spot a naked woman having sex with a horse, the New South Wales Police would like to speak to you. No, really.

 

Arizona granny deals dope to support bingo habit

  • "A grandmother found with a trunkful of marijuana was convicted of drug running in what prosecutors said was an attempt to earn cash for a bingo habit"

 

"A Devon car cleaner has come to the rescue of a theatre desperately searching for a pantomime dwarf."

  • "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs at the Theatre Royal in Plymouth was in danger of being cut to six dwarfs ...

 

The International trailer for Hot Fuzz, an action comedy from the Shaun of the Dead team

  • The eagerly anticipated second feature from the co-creators of 2004's award-winning sleeper hit "Shaun of the Dead" is a contemporary action comedy. Police officer Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) is London's top cop. This tough law enforcer is good at his job - so good, in fact, that he makes his colleagues look bad. As a result, his superiors "promote" him to the village of Sandford, where all is garden parties and neighborhood watch meetings. Partnered with Danny Butterman (Nick Frost), an oafish but well-meaning young local cop, Angel struggles to adapt. But he just can't...until a series of grisly "accidents" indicates that foul play is afoot. Suddenly, this seemingly idyllic town is a case that Angel has to crack - hard.

 

The trailer for Pride, a new inspirational drama

  • The inspiring story of Jim Ellis (Terrence Howard), a charismatic schoolteacher in the 1970s who changed lives forever when he founded an African-American swim team in one of Philadelphia's roughest neighborhoods.

 

The trailer from Mimzy, a new family-oriented fantasy film

  • "Mimzy" tells the story of two siblings who, after discovering a box of toys sent from the future, begin developing some remarkable talents -- terrifying and wonderful. As their parents and teacher notice the kids' changed behavior, they all find themselves drawn into a unique world.

 

The trailer for The Architect, a new drama.

  • Leo Waters (Anthony LaPaglia) is an idealistic architect and patriarch of an upper middle class suburban Chicagofamily. Tonya Neeley (Viola Davis) is a pragmatic activist who is trying to keep her family together while living in one of the city's most drug and crime-infested public housing projects. As part of her ongoing campaign to have the projects torn down and decent housing built in its place, Tonya decides that the one signature she needs on her petition is that of the projects' original architect, Leo Waters. Rossellini, Panettiere and Stan turn in powerful supporting performances as Waters' wife and children.

 

The trailer for Blood and Chocolate

  • "Blood & Chocolate" is based on Annette Curtis Klause's novel about a teenage werewolf who has spent her life trying to hide the fact that she is part wolf. She must choose between her love for a human and her family after her relationship with a visiting American threatens to expose her secret."

 

A clip from Perfume, the new film from the director of Run Lola Run

 

Four clips from Apocalypto (2007)

  • "From Academy Award® winning filmmaker Mel Gibson ("The Passion of The Christ," "Braveheart"), comes "Apocalypto": a heart stopping mythic action-adventure set against the turbulent end times of the once great Mayan civilization. When his idyllic existence is brutally disrupted by a violent invading force, a man is taken on a perilous journey to a world ruled by fear and oppression where a harrowing end awaits him. Through a twist of fate and spurred by the power of his love for his woman and his family he will make a desperate break to return home and ultimately to save his way of life."

 

The Colbert Report, Thursday, November 30

 

The Daily Show, Thursday November 30th

 

If you do business online as a buyer or seller, you may be interested in Dawn of the eBay Deadbeats: True Tales of Treachery, Lies, and Fraud from the Dark Recesses of the World's Largest Online Auction Marketplace


 

 

 

An ancient tsunami devastated the Mediterranean ... Volcano avalanche 8,000 years ago triggered 10-story wave ...

  • Is this the source of the flood legends common to many cultures and religions in the Mediterranean region? Well, maybe, but remember that people outside the region affected by this catastrophe also have flood myths.

 

GALLUP: Gauging the Impact of the Michael Richards Incident ... "Richards rated more negatively than other Seinfeld stars, but still more positive than negative"

  • Statistics sometimes depend on how you present them. Here's a different spin on the matter. Kramer has a 36% negative rating, compared to 11 for George and Jerry and 9 for Elaine. Put those numbers on a graph by themselves and you get a different picture from Gallup's headline above, don't you? I assume Kramer would have been in the same 9-11 range if he hadn't had his blow-up, so it's fair to conclude that the incident hurt him a lot, especially considering that nearly half of all respondents aren't really following the incident, so Kramer got nuked within the group following the story.
  • Obviously, Kramer's negative rating has increased by 25-27 points, and that correlates perfectly with the fact that 28% say they are now less likely to watch him.
  • The other three stars are perceived exactly the same by whites and non-whites, while Kramer has now developed a gap, unsurprisingly enough. I have to think the gap would be much greater if more non-whites had been following the issue more closely, because Kramer's actual meltdown was genuinely ugly.

 

Gallup Launches Worldwide Corruption Index

  • I've worked in something like 50 countries, and what is most interesting to me about these Gallup results is the difference between perception and reality in some of these countries. Gallup is ranking the people's perception of their government's corruption, as opposed to the corruption itself.
  • People in developed countries are more likely to make a bigger deal out of corruption, so if you look at Gallup's chart, you'd think that Italy is more corrupt than Nigeria, which is patently ridiculous. Italy is outrageously corrupt for a sophisticated, developed nation (Transparency International rates it a 4.5/10 in transparency), but is nowhere near the level of Nigeria (2.2). What is reasonable to conclude is that Italians are more bothered by their level of corruption than Nigerians are, and perhaps they should be, because their country is far more corrupt than other countries with similar economic and social development.
  • On the other side of the coin, Uzbekistan (which is extremely corrupt throughout every element of society) has somehow convinced its citizens that things are as they should be! Transparency International rates Uzbekistan (2.1) as the 9th most corrupt country in the world, but their citizens perceive it as being about equal to Canada, which is rated a sterling 8.5 by TI!
  • If you'd like to review Transparency International's rankings, you can download an Excel spreadsheet here

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

 

Beerfest (2006)

This is the latest Broken Lizard comedy, and it essentially consists of drinking games on steroids.  It is crude, disgusting, racist, and misogynistic. It glorifies alcohol abuse, and contains foul language, perverse sexual situations, and excessive violence.

In other words, it is a whole lot of fun.

When their father dies, brothers Paul Soter and Eric Stolhanske head to Germany with their father's ashes. There they are told that their father was the bastard son of a stable boy and a whore. The idea that granny is a ho bothers them, but they choose not to believe it anymore than they believe that gramps stole the formula for the best beer in Germany before he left with his whore bride to start a family brewery. Grandma eventually tells a somewhat different story, basically that she was a ho, but was madly in love with grandpa, and that their father was the rightful heir to the entire brewery in Munich.

Fortunately, their father had the good sense to die in October, and to have a family in Munich - therefore placing the lads in the middle of Octoberfest.  While there, they are admitted to a secret beer drinking contest called Beerfest, which is sponsored by their relatives. When they get their collective asses kicked by the Germans in the beer games, they decide that the only way to get even is to recruit a hand-picked team and go back the following year to "kick some Kraut ass." The biggest training obstacle is figuring out how to drink from the dreaded "boot," but this challenge gives them even more motivation. During their extensive training program, they discover the "stolen" beer recipe and reason that if that part of the story is true, then there must be more to grandma (Cloris Leachman) than they had ever suspected.

If this sort of crude humor is your idea of funny, run, don't walk to rent your copy. This one is a riot, and the DVD is no less than spectacular, including two commentaries, featurettes on the influence of beer on history, drinking games, and meaningful deleted scenes. The widescreen transfer is wonderful, and best of all, there is not a single scene or line of dialogue that is in any way politically correct. There is even a cameo appearance by Willie Nelson at the end, and you have to see Cloris Leachman demonstrating oral sex on a summer sausage.

By our system, this can't be higher than a C+, as people who hate gross-out comedies will especially hate this one, but for genre fans, this is the best new one since American Pie.

IMDb readers say 6.3.

It earned $19,179,969.00 in a ten week run in the US against an estimated $12.5 M budget.

 

Candace Smith

 

 

Sarah Figoten

 

 

Simona Fusco in a deleted scene

 

 

unknowns in a "mousetrap" sequence, where women's tops are torn off in an elaborate chain reaction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Promedio rojo

(These are a few Flauti sent along some time ago.)

Maria Cristina Pea y Lillo

 

 

Tatiana Astengo

 

 

Xenia Tostado

 

 

 

 

 

 


More from "Guns" today with all "Hankster Light" stuff.

 

Devin DeVasquez boobage in Caps and two .wmv clips zipped together.

 

 

Donna Spangler and Kym Malin hit the shower. Lots o' tits and, if you study Kim in the background, a hint of bush.

Caps and a zipped .wmv clip.

 

 

Wrapping it with more caps and another zipped .wmv vid of Roberta Vasquez with an exposed boob in a little motorcycle lovemaking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Abominable:

One of my favorite B-movie babes, Tiffany Shepis, has a nice nude scene in this 2006 horror flick, a creature feature actually, that has bits and pieces from many famous horror and thriller movies of the past.

A man who 6 months prior was crippled in a mountain climbing accident that also killed his wife is sent home to his secluded mountain cabin to recover, accompanied by an acerbic attendant from the clinic that was treating him. While sitting in his wheelchair on the terrace he spots a big hairy creature abduct one of the girls staying in the tourist cabin next to his.

Although he sounds the alarm to his companion and even to the local police, no one will believe him. (Sound a little like Hitchcock's Rear Window? Well, it was meant to.) Eventually, he must fight for his own life as the creature disposes of the tourists, and then turns to him.

Writer/director Ryan Schifrin is an avid horror/thriller fan, and says he happily borrowed ideas and plot gimmicks from many of his favorite flicks, including Rear Window. The result is a fun and action-filled creature flick that won't test your brain much, and is somewhat predictable, but is still very enjoyable.

 

Tiffany Shepis

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

The Celebrity Shower series continues with the Pam Grier sub-genre

 

Sally Kellerman in M*A*S*H*

 

 

...three comments:

 - this scene is a practical joke designed to toy with this character's devout sense of dignity by exposing her nakedness to the entire camp, very cruel yet appropriate in the minds of the spectators...  

- the film's director Robert Altman is reported to have dropped his pants at the appropriate moment to distract Ms. Kellerman from her impulse to immediately drop to the shower room floor as the scene was filmed

 - I highly recommend this film: a very dark satire of war/ well worth the viewing

 

 

Raquel Welch in 100 Rifles

 

 

... a very sexy scene as Ms. Welch entices a troop train to stop to watch her shower beneath a water tower...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Julie Walters in The Wedding Gift

A rare instance of nudity in a Woody Allen movie - Sydney A Blake -  Radio Days

 

 


Pat's comments in yellow...



A startling find in the Kalahari Desert of Botswana proved that religion is much older than we thought.  Inside a cave, archaeologists found a giant python's head carved out of stone and 70,000-year-old spearheads made of stones from hundreds of miles around.  That means people must've come from all over to make their spearheads in
front of the giant python statue, and they ritually burned only the red ones.  Experts thought that human intelligence hadn't evolved the capacity to perform group rituals until 40,000 years ago, but this ritual
dates back 30,000 years earlier.

*  Maybe that means performing group rituals requires a lot less intelligence than we thought.

*  Humans had to develop a certain level of intelligence before they could believe in ridiculous crap. 

*  It took 30,000 more years for them to finally realize that the big stone snake wanted them to burn the green spearheads.




BASKETBALL INVENTED - (Almanac)
It Was A Slam Dunk Idea - On this day in 1891, Philadelphia coach James Naismith nailed peach buckets at each end of his gym, gave his students a soccer ball, and invented the game of basketball.



*  But it was a very slow game until 1906, when he thought of cutting
the bottoms out of the baskets.