* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Hail Mary


Hail Mary (1986), originally Je vous salue, Marieis a Jean-Luc Godard retelling of the virgin birth set in modern times. Mary is a High School student, basketball player, and a virgin. She lives with her father, who owns a filling station. Joseph her boyfriend is a taxi driver. The angel Gabriel appears to her (actually, arrives in Joseph's cab) and tells her she is going to have a baby. Her doctor confirms that she is a virgin. Joseph has trouble with her story, but she lets him do his own check, and, sure enough, she is a virgin. She gives birth to Jesus.

That's it, other than dialogue like:

"You don't need a mouthhole to eat with... and an asshole to swallow infinity. Your ass must go in your head, and so descend ... to ass level, then go left... or right to rise higher."

Reviewers, pro or con, focus on the fact that this film was controversial. It does continue a common Godard theme of a man obsessed with a woman he can't have, but if Godard was trying to explain some deep truth about the birth of Christ, or anything else for that matter, it was completely lost on me. That could be my fault, or a fault of the translation ...

... but I doubt it. 

The genre is French New Wave, and this has masterpiece status within that love-it-or-hate-it genre, so it's a must-own for Godard fans, and a must-avoid for most.

Hail Mary

This is available from in a Region 2/4 PAL with English subtitles. Click on the pic for info. The film is dark, but I think that is the source material, not the transfer.


Myriem Roussel as Mary shows everything


... as does Anne Gautier as a woman who tempts Joseph.









The Wax Mask



Today's horror flick was written  by the late Lucio Fulci along with Dario Argento. The Wax Mask is a decent movie with two lovely damsels who both become "Babes in Bondage" at the hands of a fiend who wants to turn them into wax figures for his museum.

Valery Valmond is our first fair damsel topless in bed and then as a victim as she is indeed turned to wax.


Romina Mondello has a short love scene exposing her breasts and then has to "Babe In Bondage" scenes. In the first she is tied down fully clothed as an intended meal for a pack of hogs. She is rescued only to wind up topless as the victim of our madman who wants to turn her to wax. Fear not. Once again Romina is rescued.







Notes and collages

The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Part 11 of 13

Stella Stevens









Bad movie about three college girls try to make big money by cheating on the Texas Hold'em circuit. The girls are pure eye candy, but just one of them shows the goods, so that's another minus.


Lacey Toups

Christina Morris









So if I told you I had caps and a clip of the former Wednesday Addams all nekkid in a movie, you might say, "BFD. We already got Christina Ricci in the buff." But this is not Wednesday from the Addams Family movie but Wednesday from the TV show. Gal's name is Lisa Loring. And she sure did grow up good. This is one child star who grew her own mighty fines rather than purchase them from the friendly neighborhood hooter store. The clips are in awful shape because the videotape was old and yucky. But there she is, little Lisa with grown-up parts. BTW, the movie, called Iced, seriously bites the big one.

Scoop's notes: Like many child stars, she lived her life at about double speed. She was married for the first time at 15, divorced at 16.  From 1986-1992 (ages 28-34) she was married to a male porn star (Jerry Butler). It was during this period that she made her three movies. Although Lisa was only 30 at the time she made Iced, and still damned sexy, the 1988 movie was the dead end of her acting career. (Precise reasons not known to me.) Ten years after this film was lensed, in 1998, she was spotted tending bar at O'Grady's, a neighborhood bar in Burbank.

Per Wikipedia: "As of 2002, Lisa Loring was reportedly working in public relations for a hotel chain and touring the United States to attend conventions where she signs autographs and meets fans of the Addams Family." She now lives somewhere in the San Fernando Valley, and is reported to be happily domestic with a new husband. She's only 49 years old, but that's 98 in child star years.

Second rare bit o' flesh is from Edy Williams in Lusty Lady, or Lady Lust. I think this was a porn film of some kind...the gal she is playing with in the second collage is veteran pornabee Sharon Mitchell...but Edy shows little more than her own store-bought breasts. The clip of her at a Hollywood party is an unintentional laugh fest because Edy gets everyone's attention by dancing around topless. Uh huh. As though that were the wildest thing ever to happen in Hollywood.


Some clips that come without caps:

Jenny Wright in Pink Floyd's The Wall. Seemed there was a year or two in which every role that called for a cute topless teenager (such as The World According to Garp) had Jenny in it. And then, Poof! She disappeared.

Mariana Hill in Schizoid. Ms. Hill was a hottie in the late 60's and early 70's but here she beds (shudder) Klaus Kinski. To be honest, it appears more like she is wrestling him in a no-holds-barred death match. You will notice the same sequence of Klaus attaching Mariana's hooters is run twice. That's the way it shows up in the movie. I figure she got fed up very quickly with what he passed off as love-making and the editor was left with about 4 seconds of usable footage.

This is, IMHO, one of the best dadgum nekkid scenes in the history of cinema. "Just Say" Julie Brown, the comic actress, in Bloody Birthday. Her sister is selling spy time to a couple of pre-pubescent boys as Julie shows boobs and butt while changing her clothes. A truly marvelous scene.

Going to finish up with a couple of clips showing off Lana Wood's ample bosom. Clips are from A Place Called Today and Demon Rage. About five years passed between the two films. The years and gravity were not good to Ms. Wood's superstructure.








This is porn "star" Zoey Zane, allegedly the same person as the college girl missing in Kansas
Emily Clark - the chick who was naked in the hospital in The Rise of the Footsoldier - in Private Moments

La Lohan, strategically naked in Vanity Fair

Xtina, strategically naked and pregnant in Marie Claire

Tasma Walton in The Postcard

Film Clips

Milla in Resident Evil Extinction (sample right)

Ann-Margret in Joseph Andrews


Lohan's full six-minute "strip" scene from the special features of the DVD for I Know Who Killed Me








The Comedy Wire

Britain's Metro newspaper reports that a London toy company called Compost Communications has created what they hope is the hot new Christmas fad: plush roadkill.  The first is Twitch the Raccoon, but a
rabbit, hedgehog and weasel are coming.  Twitch has a tire track across his back, and a zipper on the side, so kids can remove his plush internal organs.  He also comes with an ID toe tag stating where he was run over by a London milk truck and a body bag to keep the maggots out.

*  Plush maggots sold separately. 

The satirical Christian website has issued its annual "12 Days of Kitschmas," the 12 most tasteless religious gifts.  This year's list includes

"The Pope's Cologne" (from the 150-year-old personal recipe of the longest-serving Pope, Pius IX).

*  It's a babe magnet!

A Virgin Mary PC memory stick with flashing red "sacred heart;" a "huggable urn" teddy bear that holds your loved one's ashes ($50 extra for one with angel wings); a calendar of scantily-clad female morticians from Rome posing in front of coffins; "thongs of praise" (thongs with a picture of the Madonna and Child on the crotch).

*  A vital part of any abstinence program.

A compass that always points toward Jerusalem so you can aim your prayers in the right direction; "The Vatican Game," a Monopoly-like game in which players are Cardinals competing to become Pope; "Holy Toast," a mold that presses an image of Mary into your toast.

*  This could lower the sales value of REAL images of Mary on toast. 

And tackiest of all, "Christ on a Bike," a figurine of Jesus on a chopper with a crown of thorns for a helmet and his robes billowing behind him in the wind.
*  At least if He runs over your plush roadkill, He can bring it back to life.

Tuesday, after six months of development and the spending of $250,000 on the project, Scotland unveiled its new tourism slogan: "Welcome to Scotland." This will replace airport signs reading "The best small country in the world." Some people criticized the slogan, saying it sounds cold and governmental and doesn't convey the emotion of Scotland.

*  But if they don't use it, their $250,000 will have been wasted!


Britney Spears sent Ryan Seacrest a text message denying as "completely fake" a rumor that she's pregnant by the guy she's currently dating.  She didn't comment on any other current rumors about her, such as that she wants to adopt Chinese twins, that she has a special sex room full of kinky S&M gear and costumes such as "French maid" in her house, or that her white couch is so covered with excrement stains from dogs and babies that her court-appointed monitor may notify the health department.

*  That one's not true. The excrement isn't from dogs OR babies.

*  Britney is NOT pregnant! She only looks pregnant.