Till Human Voices Wake Us (2002:

I haven't seen this movie yet. I'll get to it one of these days, because it has some Helena Bonham Carter nudity.

Amazon describes it as follows:

A ghostly romance from Australia. Guy Pearce is a brooding psychiatrist who must journey back to his family's summer home, to bury his father and settle some lingering childhood traumas. Helena Bonham Carter is the mysterious woman he meets on his journey, twice: once in a fleeting encounter on a train, again as she takes a dive off a trestle into a river. By the way, she's amnesiac--Guy Pearce just can't shake that Memento feel. For viewers susceptible to this kind of thing, director Michael Petroni's lofty literary tone might just work (the breathless pauses are broken by quotations from T.S. Eliot); otherwise, it will look like a skeletal take on a potentially interesting subject. The two fine actors give it a go, and they're always good to look at, but finally one wonders what they saw in this very slim proposition.

In the meantime, here's a brief film clip of nipple exposure from Helena Bonham Carter.

 (zipped .wmv)

Here's a sample image from the clip:

And here's a bonus:  Señor Piel's cap of Helena's brief topless scene as Anne Boleyn in Henry VIII, another one on my to-do list.


Under Suspicion (2000):

A psychological game of cat-and-mouse between a police investigator and a former friend who may or may not have committed some murders. The game is complicated by the fact that the two old men are long-time friends. The excellent cast features Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman and Tom Jane. Monica Bellucci provides eye candy at a level of sweetness which few can match. In terms of imaginary chocolates, she is the Eye Godiva! I liked the movie, but wrote only a brief review.

Here's a zipped .avi from usenet.


Other Crap:

Family Guy: A Visit to the Shtick Doctor
  • "Peter and Lois are getting the news on his health from Dr. Henny Youngman."

The Streaking Hall of Fame

The UK's Top Ten Female Streakers

Vaccines don't work on people with fat asses.

  • The actual headline: "Jabs don't work on big-bummed girls"

Conan offers a sneak preview of the TV Movie based on the CIA leak case

A new international trailer from The World's Fastest Indian

  • Centers on the life of Burt Monro, a New Zealander who invested several decades building a 1920 Indian motorcycle. He then traveled to the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, where he set the land-speed world record in the 1970s.

A nine-minute preview from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Stop the presses!!! E!Will Air a Fourth Season of 'The Simple Life'

The longlisted passages for the Bad Sex in Fiction award

"The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday allowed a California man to be sentenced to spend a day outside a San Francisco post office wearing a signboard stating, 'I stole mail. This is my punishment.'"

No "Merry" Christmas for Richard Gere ... Seasonal Depression, Anxiety Affects Hamsters

Your tax dollars at work: EPA Targets Chocolate Scent in Chicago

  • For decades, commuters and tourists have delighted in the mouthwatering smells wafting over the city from the Blommer Chocolate Co. factory. Now, that aroma is about to disappear, courtesy of federal regulators.

Man Steals $200,000 Worth of Legos

  • Records of the Lego collector's Web site, Bricklink.Com, show that Swanberg has sold nearly $600,000 worth of Legos since 2002

"Baltimore city streets are getting darker because thieves, some disguised as utility crews, are stealing 30-foot light poles"

  • The scrap metal in the light pole is worth about $80, which must be less than the cost of removing them and hauling them away! But what the thieves lose in margin, they make up in volume. They have stolen 130 poles.
  • Get this. It has been going on for months, and not a single one has ever surfaced at a salvage yard.

What makes a better water balloon than a king-size condom?

You're a jerk and I hate you. "An encyclopedia of every known jerk in the universe."

A Dutch interpretation of a 50 Cent video

Jennifer Lopez Adds SPAM Lingerie to Sweetface Line

  • "Jennifer Lopez and Hormel Foods announced today that the singer- actress-fashionista will introduce edible lingerie made of SPAM to her Sweetface fashion line in time for Christmas. The edible garments will include bikini panties, thongs, bras, and revealing one-piece lounge wear."

"at least 32,234 Americans died the day after Thanksgiving while desperately trying to purchase the new Xbox 360 console."

"Bathhouses across America reported a sharp drop in business over the Thanksgiving weekend, a trend owners attributed to the opening of the new movie Rent."


The Oscar Warrior - Prelude to the Big Race

"IN RUN-UP TO WAR, BUSH CONSIDERED BOMBING NPR ... British PM Blair Talked Him Down, New Report Says"




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Loulou (1980):

Gérard Depardieu is Loulou, an unemployed ex-con whose life centers around getting drunk and laid, and who survives by sponging off friends and committing the odd burglary. Isabelle Huppert is a successful ad executive in her rich husband's agency. She meets Loulou one night at a club, and can't wait to leave her husband and jump into Loulou's bed and then into his life. He has no objection to their relationship since sleeping in a hotel room every night beats the hell out of sponging from his friends, especially since and she pays the tab. Naturally, Loulou doesn't let this new relationship get in the way of his screwing other women.

Then an hour goes by before something worthwhile happens. The point of the film seems to be that a modern woman can emulate male behavior and live with her head and/or heart in her genitals. Or perhaps this was the French equivalent of a "good girl can't resist bad boy" film.  Finally, Huppert's character gets pregnant. Will the shiftless Loulou get a job, marry her, and raise a family with her?

I don't fucking think so.

Given that the film goes nowhere and that the photography and lighting are filled with mistakes, I am left wondering why anyone would enjoy it but, like snails, it was hugely popular in France.

Snails, however, move faster.

Even after they are cooked.


Isabelle Huppert

Agnes Rosier



 Mortal Challenge (1996 TV):

Mortal Challenge is an attempt at a futuristic noir martial arts thriller. The beautiful people now live insulated on an island, "New LA", created by an earthquake, while everyone else is stuck in a post apocalyptic Old LA. When one of the debutantes from New LA goes missing, Timothy Bottoms is hired to find her. Seems she has been abducted by a modern Caesar, and is stuck in his arena called The Deathdrome, along with many other victims. Yuppie spawn pay to watch them struggle to the death against "Centurions," and to have the odd sexual encounter with each other. Naturally, Bottoms and a gang of local thugs get sucked into the "arena." From that point on it is essentially violence and gore, brightened by the occasional breast, until the ending.


IMDb readers have this at 3.3. Were I to judge it on this first 20 minutes, I would feel much different because the atmosphere is genuinely creepy, especially given the budget. (This is produced by Roger Corman, who is not known for wasting a lot of money.)  Once inside the deathdrome, however, the story became very repetitive. It also, like Titanic, suffers from excess corridor disease. This is a D+. It is technically fine, given the budget, but is just not a watchable story.

Kristina Copeland


Lorrine St. Onge

Peri Reynolds








From "Rising Stars and Sexy Starlets"

Lisa Boyle

Jacqueline Lovell

Kate Rodger and Jacqueline Lovell

Shauna O'Brian

Kehli O'Byrne

Monique Parent

Ashlie Rhea

Lisa Marie Scott




I've got three clips of three actresses, all with their own entry in the Encyclopedia, from two movies today. As I haven't seen either film, I'll keep it short.
First there is 1994's La Fille de d'Artagnan in which Sophie Marceau's blouse gets ripped open exposing her two boobies.

Maria Pitarresi is fully naked but you can only see her breasts and buns while in and out of bed with the French king. She ends the clip by saying that whether king or not, men are all rascals. Right Maria, and that's exactly the reason why you were in this scene.

Finally Italian actress Stefania Rocca gives us a peek at her breasts and with some good will maybe a hint more in this clip from Resurrezione (2001).
Scoop's note: The following comments are the ICMS contribution from yesterday, which I had bumblingly deleted. The film clips are found in yesterday's edition, in my section.

I think it's been a while since we had something of Fun House regulars Kristin Scott Thomas and Juliette Binoche, so it's time to change that. In 1996's The English Patient both actresses show some skin. While Juliette doesn't expose much in mostly dark scenes in two clips, Kristin goes for a memorable triple B performance in six clips. The clips come from German TV, so you know what language they'll be speaking.

Since I agree with Tuna in his short comments on this film in the Movie House, you're actually lucky if you don't understand German. This is just to say that this film is really not my cup of tea either. I am surprised to see that 24% of the voters in the IMDb give it a perfect score of 10/10.
Well, now you can see all the good bits of this movie without having to sit through the entire feature. In my book that's quite an improvement, as I belong to the minority of IMDb voters who awarded 5/10 or less.
I'll finish with congratulating Brainscan. I didn't think it was possible to make decent caps from those two dark Isabelle Pasco clips from Sabato Italiano. I was proven wrong. Well done, Brainscan.



Today the old Time Machine wings back to 1974 and "Nude for Satan." It's a real mess of a movie but it has an often-nude cutie, Rita Calderoni, who is very easy on the eyes. So here's Rita who along the way (including the opening credits) manages to show us all three B's and even winds up in a spider's web as a "Damsel in Distress" menaced by a very lame looking spider.

To cap the day some a very "Hankster Light" show as we have "A Date with Anna" in the person of Anna Kournikova, no nudity of course, but she is so easy on the eyes.

Vejiita finished his latest web comic - a tribute to Salma Hayek


Hugo just finished his latest batch of meticulous collages. Kicking it off, here's Greta Scacchi in A Man in Love ...  
... then Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet
... and Romy Windsor in Thief of Hearts
... and Stacy Haiduk in The Beneficiary
... and finally Tahnee Welch in Night Train to Venice

Flautista, our Pied Piper, also completed a new set of images, starting with Courtney Peldon in Reality Kills ...


... then, same movie, Kym Hoy


... then, same movie, Julie-Ann Emery


... then, same movie, Natalie Cigliuti


... then, same movie, Vanessa Christelle


... then, House of Voices, Virginie Ledoyen


... then, High Tension, Maiwen LeBesco


... then, La Affinita Elective, Marie Gillain


... finally, Regeneration, Tanya Allen



Pat's comments in yellow...

Thank You, Viagra! - For a British TV special, Fremont, California, martial
arts grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, 50, tied a piece of fabric around his genitals and used them to pull a truck several yards.  Jin-Sheng is the grandmaster of Iron Crotch, a strain of martial arts with about 60,000 followers worldwide who believe that lifting hundreds of pounds of weights with their penises boosts energy and sexual performance.

*  If you think pulling the truck was impressive, you should see what he does instead of using jumper cables.


Buying It Is A Sign You're Nuts - The original "HOLLYWOOD" sign is for sale
on eBay.  It's made of iron sheeting and was put up in 1923 to promote house sales.  It originally read "HOLLYWOOD LAND" and has been in storage since it was  replaced in 1978.  The seller compares it to owning the Eiffel Tower or the Statue of Liberty.  The opening bid is $300,000, but you'll need plenty of space, since the letters are 45 feet high and 450 feet long.

*  So if you're a Florida optometrist with really old patients, you could use
for an eye chart.

Get A Grip On Yourself! - The 7Plus newspaper reports that a woman from
Galati, Romania, caught her husband of 23 years looking at porn on the Internet and  filed for divorce on grounds of "virtual adultery."  She admitted he was a good husband and provider, but said she doesn't want to be near a man who takes "virtual lovers," and she's setting him free to "find himself the woman he likes."  The husband said he doesn't want a divorce.  A court ordered the wife to take a little more time to think about it.  

*  Think about the likelihood of a 50-year-old Romanian dude actually meeting and having sex with Jenna Jameson. 

Phony Apology - When he was facing jail time and an end to his career,
Russell Crowe went on US television to apologize for throwing a phone at a New York hotel clerk and to call it his most shameful moment.  But once he was let off with a $160 fine, it's a different story.  First, he griped to reporters that the attack was "blown out of all proportion" and got more newsprint than really horrific things.  Then he turned it into a joke at the Australian Film Industry Awards by carrying a phone onstage and telling winners that if they talked too long, "then say 'hello' to my little friend."

*  He later won the Best Actor award for pretending to be sorry he attacked someone with a phone

*  Because of all the old, narrow, winding alleys in Patras, Greece, four
police cars chased two teenaged thieves in a cart pulled by a donkey for over an hour, unable to catch up with it until the donkey finally turned into a dead end

...  And then, the cops finally busted their ass